Oh man, you can tell that summer is over, and all vestiges of vacationism have left the world. Time has once again accelerated up to frame-rattling speed, and weeks have resumed passing like days. It seems only yesterday that I left class, determined to complete, or at least begin, my homework prior to the upcoming Wednesday.
Which is today.
To be fair, I have spent some time on it. In particular, I've been working on collecting scattered credits from various places where I did not realize they had gone. At Anoka-Ramsey Community College, which I attended once or twice during the Reagan and Carter administrations, I found five credits that I did not remember taking, bringing my total number of undergraduate semester credits above 100. And I searched, possibly in vain, for credits that I had hidden in the Extension College at the University of Minnesota back in the 80's, when I was trying to conceal from the Institute of Technology the fact that I couldn't for the life of me pass Calculus II.
And yesterday I went in and talked with my academic advisor. She was nice enough and had some good ideas, but of course I was hoping she'd hand me a completed degree program on a silver platter, and that was not forthcoming. I will of course continue to meet with her in the hopes that at some point she will present me with all the answers.
Despite these efforts, however, I have done little of the actual reading or assigned work. I may try to get some of that accomplished today if time permits, otherwise I'll just have to wing it.
I did speak with my therapist about how cracking a textbook brings up all my issues again. We worked through the usual discussion of how I felt, and what elements of my childhood these feelings bring to mind. That's pretty much her schtick, and you'd think I'd've learned to do it myself, but somehow everything that seems clear during a session becomes blurred and murky once out the door. So I left with some slightly better insights into why it has always been so hard for me to learn from books, but no profound changes in behavior.
I think the biggest change in my approach to this class is that I've pretty-much decided the classroom time is of limited use. I don't want to say "useless," because there's much to be gained from discussing things with others who are doing the same thing and trying to build a degree plan. But what I've figured out is, if I work on the assigned homework, but don't work on my degree plan, then I have nothing to discuss in class. Today I'm going to see if, by focusing on the degree plan and nearly ignoring the homework if I find the class more useful.
So today I'm sitting at work, trying to get enough done that it seems like I'm worth employing, while sneaking looks at my degree plan on the sly. We'll see how it goes in class.