July 29, 2006

You used to be a punk, but it got old. Your hair stopped wanting to stand up, stopped wanting to be something it was not.

You used to be a nerd, but an internet girlfriend broke your heart. And its become too painful to touch a keyboard ever since.

You used to have a lot of friends, but one day you realized you had nothing in common, and they weren't as amusing to you as you always remember them being in memory, or in pictures where you're drunk and laughing, playing Scattergories.

You used to be a slut, but the sex in your head never matched the sex between your legs, so you just quit.

And you used to be so fucking brilliant and full of wonder, but sometimes things fade and they fade so goddamn fast, before you even have time to notice they don't shine any more.

Posted by albu0009 at 12:49 PM

The Man With the Mullet and the Mustache

YOUR FAVORITE PORN IS THE KIND IN WHICH NO ONE GETS HURT. You often wonder what it means to be poor. You try to imagine yourself in a poor person's shoes. Not literally because, ew, that would be gross--but figuratively you drift into thought and wonder what it would be like to have a used car, or sometimes to have no car at all. Sometimes you imagine yourself with an out of date hairstyle and a t shirt that says show us your boobs. Sometimes when you fuck yourself late at night, you think about your husband with a mullet and a mustache.

When he eats your pussy it tickles you, but you don't laugh. Never laugh. He would probably beat you.

Posted by albu0009 at 3:09 AM