Oh My God! Oh My God!
God finally came down from heaven
He was moderately disheveled
His hair was visibly unclean
His shoes were Air Jordans from
And the hat covering his head
Said: "God Bless America".
There was one flagon his hat, too
The hat contained the colors: red, white and blue.
There were stars. Fifty of them.
The mouth that was on God's face
Said: "What the fuck is going on down here?"
"What is with all the racket?"
"Turn down that goddamn radio, you rowdy teens."
"Don't make me come down here again."
And the world turned down the radio.
But not ten minutes later was it right back
To where it was before,
Loud and raging.
The Boy (and the well)
The little boy fell down the well
And when the cameras descended
On the small little boy's small town
A man with a plastic face and rubber hair
Said, "Keith Hamilton, reporting live from the well."
A log cabin Republican, a Jew, a stoner, a bitch, a cunt, a scallywag, a ninja, a turtle, a lawnmower man, a Trisha, a Norman, a lipstick lesbian, a social outcast, a person that knows how to skank, a junky, a sniper, a lowbrow, a bookworm, a sure thing, a next top model, a gay guy who thinks he's straight, a long jumper, a colorman, a baron, a saint, a woman that smells like lemon grass, an honest man, a teamster, a lawyer, someone with three toes, someone with a wooden leg, a cum dumpster, an oil tycoon, a hopeless romantic, a sycophant, a fuck buddy, a spokesman, an elder, a wiseman, someone that when they hear they hear only silence but they're not deaf, a priest in a nun costume, someone that can recite pi to 100 digits then in reverse. I want to be buried in concrete and sleep with the fishes.
My sister, a grandchild, an artist, Amber Courteau, someone with breast implants (male or female), my dog Billy Pilgrim, someone singing bad 90's pop songs ironically, Joe Winterer w/ Annie Davidson, my high school art teacher, Jon Stewart, someone sobbing uncontrollably--almost to the point of annoyance, Reverend Fred Phelps, Kurt Vonnegut, Josh Langberg, someone wearing a homemade shirt that says something nice about me, Heather Kiger, my brothers and their ugly babies, my high school Spanish teacher in a wheelchair w/ oxygen tank, an editor, a publisher, an ambassador, Mrs. Herda-Mckee, a bad poet, someone with secrets, someone who knows too much, a photographer, a slut, a smelly hippy, a veteran of a foreign war, a rising star, David Zellar, annoying children running around disrespecting the solemn nature of the day, a friend, a secret lover, a wonderful peace.
1) you dont believe in relativity, only god.
2) sometimes you walk in funny ways, with your toes pointed in. you never tie your laces.
3) sometimes you dance in front of your mirror and wonder what it looks like to the invisible ghosts surrounding you.
4) you try to fit in. it hurts. you're not the right shape.
4a) you are square. the world is round. sometimes you squeeze in, but certain things have to be left out to make room for your sharp corners.
5) sometimes you think you are part of something bigger.
mostly you just feel stupid and alone.
6) sometimes life is so beautiful it hurts and the only way to take the pain away is to sit down and watch murray povitch. mostly it's just really boring, though.
7) you try to wonder about big ideas. sometimes it comes so easy you think you must be completely off track; you forget it before you can write it down.
8) your ass is getting fatter, fatty. you might want to start doing something about it.
9) sometimes you laugh at your dreams.
there was a small jazz bar in chicago. there was a bull dyke that you thought was a man. there was a kindergartener singing motley crue. there was a priest dressed in drag. there was a piece of string tied to your swollen finger. over here there were three little girls screaming for your attention. sometimes there was a flash of light so bright you could see the entire world and there were no shadows. there was an accident. there were questions that even the smart kid in class couldn't begin to answer. there was someone selling candy to children while their parents made out in the backseat. now and again there was an old man watching from the window, rocking back and forth, back and forth. there was music. pop music. there were teenagers talking about it. there were blacks. there were jews. there were little punk girls with bad attitudes. there was a snowball melting in the sun. there was a fat kid. there was a nerd. sometimes there were flowers waiting to be fucked by bees. there was a pot head. there were uglies. there was a woman complaining about her hamburger (it was too cold). i think there was a note being passed around from table to table, but i can't be sure. there was a television that only played foxnews. there was a smiling boy holding a trophy for selling the most raffle tickets in the school raffle ticket selling contest. there were proud parents with bumper stickers explaining their pride. there was a loaded gun with so much potential energy it could hardly contain itself. there was a spiral that never ended. there was an old man calculating pi. there asian kids applying to harvard. there was an explosion that no one heard but me and you. there was a smile that no one saw but me and you. there were modern socks. there was a noose. there was a man with braces. i was wondering whether or not i was going to die in a car, or in a hospital bed, or on a sidewalk, or in a forest alone, or smiling, or with fear in my eyes. i couldn't tell what you were wondering, but it was something good.
you tried to love but it hurt too hard. you tried to give it up completely, but it only made it worse. you say you're a terrible singer, but you make them cry with every word. when you were thirteen there was a girl who kissed you on the lips and told you you were beautiful, but you never believed her until you were too old to care about beauty anymore. sometimes when you've got nothing else in your mind you can still see the outline of her face--her actual image has long faded, but the impression remains. Sometimes you can hear her voice perfectly. Sometimes you want to find her. But you figure it would probably just seem creepy and weird to her after all these years.