Insight!

What a morning

2012-01-04T15:09:51Z

I was going through the regular morning routine. You know, pack up the kid for school, get lunch made, get breakfast made, and get on the road. We got to the school and parked the car. I don't always park, sometimes I just drop her off at the curb, but this morning I decided to park and walk her in. I walked her up to the sidewalk and she wanted to say good bye so we did and when I turned back to my car there was a long line of cars blocking me in. I figured it was just someone waiting for a parking spot but then I noticed a small group of people standing in the parking lot. This wasn't normal especially during the busy morning drop off time. I started moving back towards my car thinking that the group would disperse and the cars would start moving soon but than I noticed the blankets on the ground, the snow covered ground. It wasn't just blankets of course. The blankets were on top of a person huddled on the ground not moving. All that I could see of this person was a little bit of silver hair.

]]> My first thought was that someone had fallen and the people around them were trying to help. Now I'm not one to just walk away from a bad situation, I find I need to be involved. I'm not sure why.

I don't know if I will be any use near the person and the small group but I do notice that the line of cars is growing because no one knows that there is a reason for the delay. So I head towards a person who is directing traffic (he also doesn't know that there is a reason for the delay) so I let him know and the two of us work to get the cars through the parking lot. With that under control I can now move my car and go home. But I can't. I look back at the person on the ground and the people around her trying to be of help. I walk over and ask about the ambulance, I know one must be coming, because the school nurse was just there. It is on it's way but the person under the blankets is shivering, her nose is bleeding, I still can't leave. I crouch down by the person and ask where she is hurt, I don't want to hurt her. They say her hips so I put my hands on her back, hoping that maybe I will give her some of my warmth. Another person is on her other side rubbing her arms. I continue to crouch with my hands resting on her back, hoping the ambulance will arrive soon. The people who are around her decide they best move their cars and as soon as they do the ambulance arrives. The small group of people start moving away from her to allow the paramedics room to get to her. I just watch, grateful that people who know what to do are now there to help. I go to the person who took the blankets, knowing she is the one who put them over this injured person and give her a hug and thank the heavens that she was there to help. She just says that we have to help each other, I nod in agreement and we part.

Once in my car I wait for the emergency vehicles to leave, when they don't seem in a hurry to move I decide I really should get going and that I can't really be of any more help. So I start to leave and notice the person who was directing traffic looking my way. I quickly pull into a parking spot and roll down my window. He didn't know what had happened so I told him the small amount that I knew. A woman was hit while she was walking in the parking lot. It was someone who works in the school but I didn't know her name. He thought he knew who it was and I assured him that she was awake and answering questions but that she said her hips hurt so she didn't want to move.

Now it is time to go home.
On the drive I kept thinking about why I needed to help, to be involved.
I didn't come up with an answer, but I know if I had it to do over again I would have stayed to help.

Skating on a hot day

2011-05-31T14:37:33Z

Finally got Hannah outside yesterday. This kid is terrified of bugs, not sure why since I have always taken a very level headed approach to them. Anyway, I bribed her with a push on her swing. After we finished with the swing we went to check out what her dad was doing and she decided that she wanted to get her bike out. However, the bike needed air in the tires and the seat and handle bars raised so we decided to wait for her dad. We were both being a little impatient and after about 5 min Hannah decided that she should roller blade for a while. She hasn't been on her roller blades in a long time so after we get them on I spot her for a while. Once she was comfortable on them I got out of the way so that she had more room to move. I gotta tell you she is a natural on blades. She started pretending she was swimming, so she is waving her arms around while continuing to move forward and at one point I started picking up sticks so that she wouldn't trip over them and she came over and started picking them up with me (IN HER SKATES). Maybe none of this is impressive to those who can skate but to me it is since I never figured out how to stay upright on the blasted things. Of course Hannah keeps telling me that I need a pair too and I just laugh.

Friction

2011-04-26T23:31:44Z

On our way home from school today my 6 year old started rubbing her hands together very quickly. Soon she says "Mommy, I'm making friction. When you rub two things together very fast they make friction." Of course I have to take this opportunity to find out exactly how much she knows about this subject so I ask, "What does friction create". She replies (without any hesitation) "Heat". I ask her where she learned about friction because I know she doesn't have science this week (they rotate through specialists at her school from one week to the next). She tells me that she learned about it in science class (a couple of weeks ago). I'm a very proud parent.

Our Song

2011-04-19T15:01:17Z

This morning I decided to eat breakfast before leaving for work. Not something I always allow myself the time to do. After I finished eating my 6 year old comes to sit on my lap. I tell her I have to leave soon but not for a couple of minutes. So we cuddle for a little while. I ask her if she would like me to sing our song. We haven't sang it for a really long time and I'm wondering if I will remember how it goes. So I start, it's a lullaby that I made up when she was a baby. I always had a horrible time remembering the lyrics to actual lullabies and she loved having someone sing to her so I just started to make up my own, this one stuck. It's called "I love you more..." and goes something like this:

I love you more, I love you more..
I love you more than the sun
and more than the moon
I love you more than the stars
It's true, I do
I love you more than anything
in the whole wide world.

It has many verses and many more can be made. When I first made up the song I was very careful to make it about loving her more than nature. I guess because I didn't want it to be about people or animals and I love nature so much.. It was also a learning song, groups of three that go together. Sun, moon, and stars are in the sky; trees, flowers, and grass all grow from the ground; lakes, rivers, and seas all have water; etc.

Anyway, after I was finished singing the song ending with the words "it's true, I do." I get the sweetest little smile from my now 6 year old. She isn't the little baby I used to sing it to while dancing around the room to get her to go to sleep, but it will always be something that is just ours. Our song.

Adventures to come

2009-11-24T16:28:23Z

As if the holiday season wasn't busy enough, I have signed Hannah up for two activities beyond regular school stuff. Starting next week she will be learning to ice skate and she will start attending Girl Scout Daisy meetings.

Ever since Hannah found out that there is such a thing as ice skating (about two years ago) she has been asking me if she can learn to ice skate. Being a very clumsy individual myself, I have never tried ice skating and figure I never will and while I'm ok with that I have high hopes that maybe.. just maybe Hannah will be less clumsy than me if she learns some balancing skills young in life. So when Hannah made fast friends with a girl in her school that ice skates I did what I could to find out where, when, and how much and after little deliberation I enrolled her in classes. I am crossing my fingers that she doesn't let a few falls get in her way of enjoying something she could do her entire life.

The Girl Scout Daisy thing kind of fell into our laps. When Hannah started school I wondering if there were troops to get into but I wasn't sure if I wanted her in one. I have good and bad memories about girl scouts. But when I found out that a friend of ours who also has a 5 year old was going to start a troop I decided to check into it a bit more and than I told Hannah about it. She was instantly hooked on the idea and now she asks just about everyday when the meeting is. They will plant mini gardens, learn how to treat others, learn how to give back to their society and to their world. I'm actually rather excited for her. And for all our friends and family member who love girl scout cookies, you now have a supplier (assuming Hannah sticks with it).

Clapping like crazy

2009-07-10T16:02:07Z

Last night we went to Kooza by Cirque du Soleil (can't recommend it enough). It was amazing. Drew and I had gone to a show a long time ago and just loved it so when we found out they were in town again it was heartbreaking to see the ticket prices and know that we shouldn't go. But we managed to get discounted tickets (which were still expensive but more reasonable) and decided that it was something be both really wanted to do. Anyway, I wasn't sure how Hannah would do, sure it is filled with action and people in costumes and you don't even need to understand the story to really enjoy it.. but sometimes those things aren't enough for a little kid. In this case it was, we were actually near many little kids in the audience (I guess that's expected with the cheap seats) but you would never have known once the show started. Not one of them kicked my seat, not one of them whined or talked or cried.. not even mine :)

At first Hannah sat watching with wide eyes, showing concern and confusion, but as the night progressed I would look over and see a bright smile on her face or see her laughing (sometimes when no one else was, but who cares), and during really impressive acts (that didn't make her freeze in fear that the person was going to get hurt) she would clap like crazy sitting straight up in her seat. Intermission came and Hannah turned to me and said, "I want to see more." At the end, when the crowd stood to give a standing ovation, I picked Hannah up so she could watch the performers give their bows. And on the way out of the tent Hannah did a graceful toe pointed step as we worked our way back outside. I asked Hannah what her favorite part was... turn out not to be the action or the amazing costumes but the character she could relate to.. the main character... The Innocent. I think we could all relate to The Innocent during this performance, watching in awe as so many amazing things happen before our eyes.

A big step

2009-01-06T15:56:40Z

This morning was a big morning for Hannah. She decided that she wanted me to let her walk to her classroom by herself this morning. I drop her off at school each day and than walk her to her classroom where we say goodbye over and over again sometimes with tears. Earlier in the morning I had warned her that if she didn't go to school like a big girl that I wouldn't be able to walk her to her classroom anymore, my threat became her way of showing she is a big girl. After I said this her eyes brightened and she asked if I would do that this morning. Sure enough, we got to school and she still wanted to so she said her goodbyes in the hallway and went on her way checking a few times to see if I was still there. Once I was sure she was in her classroom I went down the hall to ask her teacher how it went. Her teacher was beaming as she told me that Hannah was very proud of herself for walking down the hall by herself. I'm so proud of her today, this is a big step for both of us!

35w bridge

2008-09-18T18:02:59Z

I have mixed emotions about the opening of the 35w bridge today. I feel happy that it is up and a major freeway in our city is no longer dead ended. Downtown Minneapolis was never really disconnected from the rest of the Twin Cities because of the bridge collapse, but it did force people to get to and from it using different routes.

]]> But I'm not completely happy. I know it is a new bridge, designed to last 100 years, with state of the art sensors and technology none of us really understand, but part of me is sad about it being open already. It almost feels like we didn't get a chance to really morn the falling of the last bridge. Yes it was discussed, it was on the media endlessly for weeks, even my daughter of 2 (at the time) knew about it and asked questions about why bridges fall. But a little over one year later it is over.. traffic can once again fly over the bridge into the heart of Minneapolis.

I tried to get a glimps of it today, part of my healing I guess. When the last one fell people crowded sidewalks to get a glimps of it, they walked along the rivers edge (like I did today) pausing occasionally thinking that they might be able to see something. I was expecting those crowds to come back out today to see what they could of this new bridge, but they weren't there. Is it because I am not the only one feeling like it is too soon or is it because it's just not that special of an event?

A year ago I made a poster to help raise money for the bridge victims. Someday soon I will try to make a companion for it, one that remembers what happened the evening of August 1, 2007.

I also look forward to getting an opportunity to pay homage to the memorials for the people who lost their lives to the collapse of the last one. The new bridge is a memorial in and of itself. To some extent I feel there should be something for the survivors and the heros as well. Maybe there is. I hope there is.

I wasn't on the bridge when it fell and no one I knew was. It didn't even change my commute. But every time I drive over a bridge (which is a lot in the twin cities) I remember.

California Trip

2008-07-01T20:47:42Z

We recently went to California with my parents to visit Drew's dad and Char. We did a lot during our trip which I'll try to write more about later. As I was browsing through photos however I found this one and just loved it and wanted to share. One of the days we were there we went to Muir Woods. It is just north of San Francisco and contains some large red woods and sequoias. During our walk through the woods we were all in awe of the beauty and fascinated by the way the park was kept as true to nature as it could be with paths winding through it. There were a couple of trees where you could walk inside of them. This is a picture of one of them with Hannah inside looking up. As she looked up she said "Wow." very quietly and than said "It's beautiful." For some reason this moment on our trip stands out beyond all of the rest.

Skates

2008-04-28T19:50:36Z

Drew and I were trying to think of what new outdoor summer thing we should get for Hannah this year. Something for her to get plenty of exercise and something that she will be able to do and enjoy for the rest of her life. We considered a "big girl" bike, a T ball set (that might still happen this year), among a few other things. What we chose were skates after Hannah started saying she wanted a pair.

]]> So.. we pick up a pair of adjustable training inline skates and all the padding you can imagine. When we got home we adjusted everything (while Hannah tried to be as patient as possible) and let Hannah try them on. The first time went pretty well, Hannah went from barely being able to stand while I supported most of her weight to being able to move slowly across our small kitchen. The next night we went outside and she tested out the skates on the driveway. She did pretty well, I think she did better than I ever did all those years in school "learning" how to skate. I told her as much.

She did take one pretty big spill on the driveway. One which I thought might make her decide to never put the skates on ever again, because the fall actually hurt a little. Luckily without realizing it, I knew what to say to help her get up and keep going. I told her "Don't let the skates beat you. Tell these skates that they don't win." She thought that was funny and after I helped her up she told those skates that they don't win and she kept trying.

Little Artist

2008-02-10T04:15:46Z

A lot can be learned from a child. Seeing the world through their eyes and attempting to answer their questions. Sometimes it is overwhelming and a struggle to have just the right answer. Sometimes it is impossible. Lately my little one manages to throw me for a loop constantly. What do you say when a kid asks you why someone is mean, or why we have to stay away from strangers? Or what to you tell your child when they inform you that they want to be an angel, right now! Some of these things take a bit of creativity and the ability to be on your toes! But than there are other times, wonderful times when I can sit back and enjoy watching and listening as she explores and discovers on her own.

]]> Recently we have been doing a lot of painting, every evening I am asked if there is time to paint as soon as we get home. It is hard for me to say no to such a request because such joy and learning comes from doing creative things, so usually the answer is yes. Our walls are now plastered with paintings with names jotted on them for who they will soon go to and as I look at these paintings I look at them as an artist. Yes they are paintings by a child with no thought in mind of an actual image, no realism at all. but if you were to ask her which is for which person, she can tell you because she was very intentional in her painting for the person she was painting for. Already she sees that boys like different things from girls, our culture is not hidden from her and she spends a lot of time with a boy who is very much a boy. She paints pictures using browns, blues, and greens for the boys. For girls she picks pinks, reds, yellows, purples. When she sits down to paint I have trained myself to not second guess what colors she wants to paint with, this is her painting and who am I to say that brown should not go with pink. Quite the opposite actually, that painting is one of my favorites as it turns out. So, back to my point. I am learning or relearning through my child that it doesn't matter what the finished product is when you are creating art (at least not entirely) it is largely the process. The joy of creating and experimenting and hopefully in the end the product will reflect that of the process!

One other bit I want to share as a look into a child's mind. The other night Hannah and I went over to my brother's house to help Alison do some baking, not sure we were much help really, but it was fun. During the process of mixing together the wet ingredients for making muffins Alison pulled out a hand mixer and told Hannah that we need to beat the eggs. Hannah's response was "Are they trying to get away?" To Hannah the word beat means win, as in I'm going to beat you to the door. Considering how much baking I do with her I am surprised that she didn't understand the word beat when referring to eggs but maybe she just never considered before what it could mean.

Just an everyday, average, Midwestern, Christmas adventure

2008-01-02T17:19:00Z

Unfortunate circumstances surrounded our Christmas this year. On the day we were planning to head to Sparta, where my parents live, there was a terrible snow storm that was hitting just the right area to make us think twice about driving to their house. Finally we decided to go for it, knowing that a hotel wouldn’t be far from any interstate exit. We started out and thought, what’s the big deal? and even though it was a slow 4 hour drive (normally 2 ½ - 3) the only part that made us think that maybe it was a bad idea was the last 30 min. And at that point you don’t turn back.

]]> Safely at my parents house we started to unwind. The rest of the day went pretty well until evening fell. Suddenly Hannah came to me and said “mommy my ear hurts�? this can really only mean one thing. Soon she is crying and can’t be consoled. We try a few things, than call a nurse to find out what more we can do for her. It is Sunday evening in Sparta, WI - 3 hours from her doctor (4 in bad weather). So we do the best we can and finally she falls asleep. Drew and I fall asleep as well, knowing that the next day is Christmas Eve and that the house will be full of loved ones and we will have to deal with an ear infection.

Amazingly Hannah woke up in a good mood, until I told her that we would have to go to see a doctor. She whined a little, said that her ear didn’t hurt, but it was no good, I don’t take chances with ear infections. So at 9:30 we headed to our appointment in Sparta, the roads were much better than the day before and it was beautiful outside. We finished with our appointment at about 10:40 and headed to the pharmacy (2 min away) to get her prescription. The pharmacy made us wait and wait. Hannah was been a fabulous 3 year old, patient and calm, while I, on the other hand, wanted to scream and cry at these pharmacists that are ruining my Christmas Eve. Finally we are heading back to my parents house at noon.

The rest of the day went by without incident, we enjoyed every ones company and Hannah and Julia played and opened gifts.

Christmas day we woke to find that Santa had been kind to Hannah. I think maybe spending over an hour at a pharmacy on Christmas eve got her even more gifts than she would have gotten before, not really - but she was really good. She opened gifts all morning stopping to play with the most exciting of toys: moon sand, a mini Barbie, and a tea set.

We headed home at 1:30 pm and picked up a friend of ours on our way. We ran into yet another snowstorm about an hour outside of the cities, but we finally made it safe and sound to our little house in St. Paul.

Just the right amount

2007-12-04T17:42:31Z

This weekend we were covered with about 7 inches of white beautiful snow. Disaster for many people, limiting what they can do and where they can go, but joy to a child. Last year when we were piled on with snow, it was fun for Hannah but she was a little short for the 2 feet that we got all at once.. this year however we received about 7 inches and it was perfect for our little 3 year old. She was so excited about getting to put on her boots she could hardly contain herself. Once outside the first things she asked was "can I eat it?" to which we responded, just a little and watch out for yellow snow. After covering her face a few times with cold white snow we finally got her to climb into the car, a look of bliss on her red little face. This was one happy kid.

]]> The following day we went out into the snow again, this time to play. We got bundled up, Hannah in her snow suit, me in my shoes and coat (I need better snow gear). Hannah ran outside thrilled that she was getting to play in the new snow again! She asked if she could lay down in it this time and of course I said yes (she had her snow suit on).

She got down the steps and went trudging through the snow making trails everywhere. I went to get her sled out of the garage to pull her around a little. We had fun running around the yard, me pulling, her sitting. After a while she said that she had had enough and wanted to get out. I went to grab the shovel (I had a lot of work to do) and she decided to climb the snow covered steps. I started to shovel keeping one eye on Hannah and one eye on my work, mean while Matty is jumping to catch my shovel fulls of snow (quickly she becomes a white dog instead of black). Hannah finds that she can walk up the steps and than slide down them on her butt (there is that much snow on them). I keep shoveling.

After a little while Hannah tells me that she wants to shovel too.. luckily she has her own shovel so we go to get it. Once she has it she starts to uncover the steps that she was sliding down, but this is a hard job for a little one and finding somewhere to put the snow is a difficult task. So I tell her to use her sled so that she can fill it and pull the snow around. Once she is set up I get back to my task. When I get to the driveway, Hannah brings her sled full of snow out to the drive way with her and continues to fill it with snow from the driveway. We work on it for a while and she finally tells me that her sled it full.. I dump it out on the snow hill I am building and ask her if she would like to go for a ride down the little hill. We tried a couple different ways to get her to the top of the hill, but the snow is just not packed down enough. Finally I tell her to get into the sled and I lift her in the sled to the top of the little hill and pull her down it.. She thinks it is the best thing ever and does it a couple more time.. ok back to work. we both get back to our jobs, me shoveling the driveway, her filling the sled. After being outside for about an hour and a half Hannah finally tells me that her fingers are frozen and wants to go inside. Once inside she sits down with a big cup of hot cocoa to warm her hands and her insides.

It has been a good morning and the only way to spend our first day with snow.

A song for you

2007-10-04T19:49:54Z

Ever since Hannah has been able to make noise she has been singing. It first started with the beautiful baby sounds that most babies seem to make and quickly transitioned into words, sometimes made up words.. but still. Usually her songs are random thoughts, made up songs which I now understand is a genetic talent (if you can call it that :). Anyway, after dinner the other night Hannah got down from the table and started to sing a song. She sang it while dancing and it went something like this...

]]> "Three freckled frogs sitting on a freckled log, eating the most delicious bugs. Yum, Yum, Yeck! One jumped into the pool where it was nice and cool. Two freckled frogs... and so on until there are none and it ends with glub, glub." She sang it beautifully! She continued to teach the song to Drew so that he could sing it with her.. Later Drew actually got her to sing it to her Grandma Mary Jo and to Grandpa Tom over the phone. oh did I mention that she is only 3.

So.. the other day she says to me. "Mommy I have a song for you" And she started to sing "A, B, C, D, E... and so on until she got to V and than sang "I love you" She likes ending songs with that.

So the other night after using the potty I asked her if she might have a song for daddy. She ran out of the bathroom and exclaimed "I have a song for you, Daddy!" and started to sing "A, B, C, D... and so on all the way to Z." By the time I came out of the bathroom Drew and Hannah were signing it again and this time with "Next time wont you sing with me" added to the end.

Birthday week

2007-08-30T15:01:49Z

sigh.. half way through birthday week. I kid you not! We have had two celebrations so far for Hannah and we have one more coming. And to think I didn't plan any parties this year. :) Hannah has been having a great time (of course) getting to open gifts, eating cake and icecream, receiving royal treatment. On the morning of her birthday she got to put on her fancy "princess" dress, fancy "dancing" shoes, and a princess crown. Once dressed she delared "I"m a real polite princess!" Apparently this is her goal in life and at this age it is a noble goal that we are more than willing to help her achieve. She got the idea from a disney princess book (I guess disney isn't so bad after all) about being as polite as a princess.

]]> We had Drew's side of the family come over for pizza and cake and gift opening. Hannah was so excited that she was going to get to eat her little girl cake (a doll stuck in a bowl shaped cake to make it look like the doll has a big poofy skirt). She patiently waited for pictures to be taken, candles to be lit, happy birthday to be sung (she joined in) and than blew out the candles before getting to eat cake. She had fun, especially singing happy birthday to herself :).

Than on to gifts. A ream of paper, markers, stickers, heavan to this child. And to top it all of a new chair with dora's face on it that she can sit at her little table with... perfect. Paper had to be opened, markers in the cup hold of the chair and the drawing begins while all of the adults watch and talk. Once tired she had grandpa Tom read to her for what probably seemed like forever.. Saying "more, more" everytime he stopped.

The next morning I got her up a little early (she wasn't sleeping well). Now it is her birthday.. she gets to watch TV and eat oatmeal. At daycare they celebrated with birthday hats and cupcakes, pictures were taken so that I wouldn't miss out on everything. That night back at home, more presents.. this time her first Barbie (art teacher barbie) and two little kids was her favorite gift.. the art teacher part was lost on her though. Barbie became mom of all her little Kelly sized dolls last night (I personally feel sorry for that barbie) and Hannah had a great time pretending that the little dolls needed to go to bed or eat their lunch.. there was some crying going on and the mom telling them what to do (she makes me out to be pretty good actually). :) No more cake for birthday night, instead we had apple crisp, we will have cake again at the end of the week when more family come to visit. We played around of Go Fish!, game that she just got, and it was time for bath and bed.