January 30, 2007

the duck that wouldn't die

The duck I mentioned last week - the one that survived first being shot, then a two-day stay in a freezer - has managed to defy death yet again.

Perky (as she is now known) was undergoing surgery to repair the gunshot wound when she stopped breathing and flat-lined... but she came back from the dead. Perhaps cats aren't the only animals with nine lives.

Posted by ause0007 at 9:37 PM

January 23, 2007

erectile reptile

If an erection lasts for more than 4 hours, consult a doctor. That's the warning that goes along with taking Viagra.

Mozart, an iguana in Belgium, doesn't need any help from Viagra to hold a lengthy erection. He has now had an erection for six days straight. And quite unfortunately, if it doesn't go away on its own, doctors are going to have to take it away themselves... not just the erection, but the whole thing. Poor Mozart may have his penis amputated.

Lucky for him though, losing a penis isn't the end of sex for iguanas. The scaled creatures, like koala bears and komodo dragons, have two penises. Yes, you heard right - two penises. And when they mate, as poor Mozart was when he became permanently erect, they use only one penis at a time. So thanks to his trusty back-up penis, Mozart's sex life isn't over... though he may feel like less of an iguana with only one penis.

Posted by ause0007 at 9:36 PM

January 21, 2007

survivors

A hunter in Florida shot and "killed" a duck, brought it home and stuffed in into the fridge. Two days later, his wife opens the door, and the duck turns her head toward her. The duck's being treated at a wildlife sanctuary and hopefully will never get shot again.

A kitty used up another one of its lives by after it managed to survive three weeks in a cargo hold flying all over the world with no food or water. She was flying from London to Munich, though bound for D.C, when she disappeared. She reappeared in Denver last week, severely malnourished, but likely to live another day.

Posted by ause0007 at 9:35 PM

January 16, 2007

fatheads

America is fat. This we know. But America is now so fat, even our pets are joining the obesity epidemic.

A fat cat gets stuck in dog door trying to steal food. The FDA approves a doggy diet pill. A walrus does a better job getting in shape than half of America.

Over 3 million dogs in the U.S. are considered obese, with nearly 20 million more overweight. Whodathunkit that it'd be possible for so many dogs, so energetic and full of life, to become obese. Maaaybe (just a wild guess here) it's because 65% of adults in the U.S. are overweight and probably don't take Fido out for as many walks as they should. Yet they continue to get dogs, only to raise them in household where they probably sit on the couch with their owner, who's watching Desperate Housewives and snacking on ice cream.

And the really sad thing is that even though it says on the bottle "NOT FOR HUMAN USE," you know at least a few poor souls will try to take it rather than just taking their dog out for a walk.

Posted by ause0007 at 9:34 PM

January 14, 2007

back from the dead

In the summer of 2005, I took a three-week long course on blogging at my alma mater, the University of Minnesota. The coursework was relatively simple... keep a blog on any topic you want. I chose to do mine on the ridiculous news stories I found about amazing animals and their stupid humans. At the end of the three weeks though, I moved a thousand miles away and ceased to update it. Now, a year and a half later, I'm going to attempt to revive it.

And a happy ending to the last post I wrote... approximately six hours before moving across the country, I finally got my cat back.

Posted by ause0007 at 9:33 PM