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June 2, 2010

One Sentence Review: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time [Movie] | Posted at 2:15 PM

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Title: Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Blurb: An "adaptation" of the Prince of Persia video game with pretty "Persian"-ish actors.
Review: Yes, Hollywood, British accents definitely equal Persia in my mind.
Grade: B+

September 15, 2008

One Sentence Review: Burn After Reading [Movie] | Posted at 11:28 PM

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Title: Burn After Reading
Blurb: No one knows.
Review: It's a Coen brother movie, what do you expect?
Grade: A-

August 12, 2008

One Sentence Review: Old Boy [Movie] | Posted at 8:37 PM

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Title: Old Boy
Type: Movie
Blurb: Crazy Korean dude wants revenge on a man who locked him up for 15 years.
Review: Good movie, questionable plot, highly enjoyable, and thus recommended.
Grade: B+

July 27, 2008

One Sentence Review: Wall-E | Posted at 1:46 PM

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Title: Wall-E
Blurb: A robot falls in love with another, that’s about it.
Review: A robot love story, but the best one ever told.
Grade: A-

July 25, 2008

One Sentence Review: The Dark Knight | Posted at 11:36 AM

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Title: The Dark Knight
Blurb: Why so serious?
Review: Awesome but not “the best movie ever,? I mean, c’mon.
Grade: A-

July 1, 2008

One Sentence Review: B13 / Borough 13 | Posted at 8:47 PM

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Title: B13 (Banlieue / Borough 13)
Blurb: David Belle, who invented parkour, stars as the kick ass dude who kicks ass.
Review: This movie is frickin’ awesome, action is better than most American movies since all or most of it is real.
Grade: A

June 30, 2008

One Sentence Review: 10,000 B.C. | Posted at 8:03 PM

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Title: 10,000 B.C.
Type: Movie
Blurb: Who the hell knows?
Review: I watched an anime while sparingly paying attention [to Evolet] during this movie, that’s how bad it was.
Grade: D

June 25, 2008

One Sentence Review: The Golden Compass | Posted at 10:45 PM

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Title: The Golden Compass
Type: Movie
Blurb: A little girl and a bad ass polar bear kick some serious alter-dimensional butt.
Review: Well, I bet the book is better because it went fast, but it was still pretty good, better than that Narnia crud.
Grade: B+

June 12, 2008

One Sentence Review: You Don’t Mess With the Zohan | Posted at 10:41 PM

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Title: You Don't Mess with the Zohan
Type: Movie
Blurb: Adam Sandler + Stereotypes + Not Very Funny
Review: Besides a few funny moments, the whole idea of an Israeli barber making love to old women in a Palestinian salon while also trying to be funny with a stupid accent is just a retarded movie premise.
Grade: D

P.S. Emmanuelle Chriqui is so effin' hoooooot.

May 22, 2008

One Sentence Review: Indiana Jones | Posted at 10:08 PM

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Title: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Blurb: Harrison Ford, now 80 years old, making one last attempt at being bad ass.
Review: Cheesy as all hell but damn it if Shia swinging like Tarzan isn't awesome.
Grade: B+