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According to Lorde, she, and all people not of the highest priviledge, are limited in performing gender because of the additional struggles of being oppressed by those other factors. As an example, she brings up the potential for black men to easily oppress black women, where the women can't resist in the name of black unity against their oppression. Additionally, because gender is performed differently based on these other factors, performing in a particular way might be seen as a taboo within another oppressed group which you are trying to maintain an identity with. Given the fact that Lorde is a homosexual woman of color, she is able to identify this problem. Were she every bit otherwise privledged, she would not be able to relay this analysis.
Patriarchy does not seem to be Lorde's primary form of oppression; that is, patriarchy in the sense of male dominance. Patriarchy in reference to the established system of privledges in Western culture, however, is what Lorde indirectly identifies as the primary source of oppression. She is not oppressed jsut as a woman, but also as a lesbian and person of color. No one aspect of her is the most oppressed, and anyone outside of whatever aspect of her is being oppressed, even if they are oppressed in a different way, can oppress her.