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October 31, 2007

Past, Present, & Future Thinking

The concept of time is viewed with a past, present, or future orientation…
I think a majority of my thoughts concerning time involve the future because I’m always thinking ahead, of what’s coming, and dreading, looking forward to, or feeling neutral about whatever’s up ahead. I may dwell on certain things from the past, but they’re never important things; they’re usually just little things involving people and “oh, I should have said that? situations. I’m actually pretty good at not regretting things once they’ve happened though, because I have sufficient control over my actions and speech and behavior. I also possess a handy mindset involving the words, “meh, nothing I can do about it now.? I’m usually aware of when I’ve done my best too, so a lot of things about past-stuff doesn’t get to me. As far as thinking about the present, well, it simply doesn’t happen for me. I absolutely cannot get myself to think in present-tense terms. I’m always thinking of what’s ahead or what’s behind me. There’s no middle ground. I’d guess that that’s because I have to make everything so fast-paced. I cannot, for the life of me, slow down, ever. Maybe it’s some psychological thing?

Good & Evil

Human nature is inherently good. I used to believe that all people (and by all, I mean most) were evil, but now I simply believe that all people (again most) are just stupid. People are greedy and selfish, yes, but they’re not evil. I suppose you could say I reached this conclusion after years of observation. Part of my decision even came down to some research and a paper I had to write in tenth grade for a history class. The paper concerned whether or not I believed mankind to be inherently evil or good, based on a comparison of Confucius and Han Fei, two old-school philosophers with opposing views. It’s rather difficult to take a side in some ways, since they’re both extremes, but I’m pretty firmly placed on the side of Confucius these days. I’m not even sure that I believe that evil exists. There have been some horrible people in this world, like Hitler and my aunt’s ex-husband, but no one’s completely evil. Everyone has motives, and if a person does something horrific seemingly without motives, they’re probably clinically insane. I just can’t believe in evil, no matter what terrible things people prove themselves capable of. Example: Nuclear bombs are just about the most insane, inhumane things I can think of. They’re in existence because people were stupid enough to make them. Some will argue that they’re necessary….but how in the world can that claim stand its ground? Once one state got nuclear weapons, other states had to, which lead to a security dilemma, which lead to less security all around. Why did we create such unearthly weapons???? We can’t seriously wish death and suffering upon so many people, yet we create things that do this. We’re not evil, just stupid.

October 30, 2007

Fantasy Goals

If I may be permitted to be completely fantastic, I’ll share a few of my life goals that will, more likely than not, never come into being.
#1: Going into space: Who wouldn’t like to make a trip to the moon? That would be a life-changing experience for anyone. In the last year, very infrequently, I’ve imagined myself as an astronaut, most likely working for NASA. I’d be the competent, diligent young lady who got to go into space prematurely, the youngest person to ever leave Earth’s atmosphere.
#2: Finishing a marathon: This one’s no so fantastic, I mean, lots of people do it. I’m just not much of a runner. I do know that I could do it if I trained and ran and got in the best physical shape of my life and all that.
#3: Writing and singing a song for a live audience: This isn’t so fantastic either. I’m pretty shy when it comes to singing in front of people, but I’ve done it dozens of times because I took voice lessons off and on for a few years, and performances/solos were mandatory. So, I have a semi-trained voice that I’m decently proud of. On top of that, I love writing and music, so writing a song that I could be passionate about would not be impossible. I think the hardest part would be getting up and singing a song that I told people I had written. Maybe I wouldn’t tell them until after.

October 29, 2007

Top and Bottom Qualities

To choose 3 qualities from the list of 15 is really hard for me because I really value many of these things. The first quality I would say is important to me is relationships with family/friends/spouse (significant other). I know these are 3 different things, but I can’t choose between the three because they are all so important to me. I love all these people dearly and would definitely feel like a part of me is missing if these people where not a part of my life. The next quality I would like is health and personal safety. I like the feelings of being healthy and safe and know my life would be really hard and I would be paranoid all the time if I didn’t feel healthy and safe. My third quality would be interesting, worthwhile, rewarding work. If I am going to do something for the rest of my life, I need to know I am benefiting society somehow and not just wasting my time and energy not helping people. I really like helping people, so this is something I need to have in my daily life which would be my work. As far as the bottom three qualities, I would like to have them, but they are more materialistic things which are not necessary to have an enjoyable life. The first would be material comfort and financial security. I have both of these things right now, and I like having them. However, I know if I had to I could live without them just like everyone else in the world does. I have never really been obsessed over material possessions, but having financial security would be really nice. The second quality I could live without is reading about, listening to, or watching concerts, sports, etc. I have never really got to go to a concert or big sports game, so I would not have a problem being cut off from the “celebrity? world. I really never pay attention to celebrities; however, I really like sports and would not enjoy being totally cut off from them. The final quality is participating in government and public affairs. I have never really paid extreme attention to politics. I think they are interesting (debates), but otherwise I really do not pay that much attention to them and think I could live without them.

Present Strengths

Right now, and for the last 5 years, I believe the thing I do best is school. I am a perfectionist and anything less than my absolute best will bother me greatly which is why, I think, I graduated at the top of my class. I do not know what it is but I just have to do everything perfect which means getting an A. However, I know this has to change in college because I know I will not be perfect at everything which is okay. As long as I give it my all, I will be able to survive. So for the next 5 years or so, I believe this will be a quality I will have throughout my college career. Once I graduate and become a nurse, I believe this quality I have will only help me excel in the nursing field, and may possibly help me get a promotion. This is something which I would like in my work. I like to be in charge of things, and I like being able to show people what to do and help them out. I have been a perfectionist all my life, and I believe I will have this quality the rest of my life. Although it may drive me crazy sometimes, in the long run it will be beneficial to me.

Changing Fantasy Goals

My greatest fantasy goal is to own and run my own ranch and be able to ride horse anytime I want to. If this ever came true, I think I would die of happiness. However, since coming to college, the most important things in my life have become apparent to me. These are my family, friends, boyfriend, my hometown and school. I really love where I come from and want to live there when I am older. Everything I love is located there, so I want to start my own life and family there. As for the ranch, it wouldn’t really fit in the lifestyle I want because Windom is not really a town in which ranches are located. Another aspect of having and owning a ranch is I would have to have the talent of above amazing with horses which I do not believe I have. I can show horses and do basic things, but there are just some people who you can tell it is what they are meant to do. Unfortunately, this is not me with horses. I just love riding them so much because it is so enjoyable, relaxing and exhilarating all at the same time. However, people do have horses for pleasure where I live which is what I would like to do; I want to have 2 or 3 horses which I can work with and ride anytime for enjoyment. I will still be able to have horses and keep them a part of my life, but I do not think owning and running my own ranch is something which will not happen in my life which is okay with me. As long as I can have horses and enjoy my life, I will be perfectly content.

October 24, 2007

Family prejudices

I never really thought anything about my family being prejudice until my aunt started dating a Hispanic man when I was about eight years old. I lived in a town with a few minorities, and my parents and grandparents never discriminated against or talked badly of any minority group. However, my aunt started to date a Hispanic guy and my grandparents were totally against it. They were so prejudice I couldn’t believe it. They did not shun her, but they were not happy with her decision, and they let her and the whole family know it. However, they now have a child together, and my grandparents are in love with their new granddaughter Gabriella.

Personal characteristics and ethnical heritage

I never really studied where I was from or my ethnic background, but this past summer, I had some family reunions and I learned a lot about myself and my heritage. I learned from my mom’s side of the family if ya ain’t Dutch, ya ain’t much. Haha, just kidding (but they really did say that). Then I found out I have German heritage from my dad’s side. My relatives from my mom’s side told me I had Dutch eyes. However, someone other than my family pointed out my German heritage. I was giving blood and while I was being interviewed, the man asked if I had any German blood in me, and I told him yes. He said he could tell by my body structure because he has girls who also have German heritage from their mother. I guess I never really thought of my body being able to identify with certain ethnic groups, but I realized it can, and it is part of me. As for family traditions, we participate in Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and a few other religious holidays. All but Thanksgiving can be traced back to my heritage also which I think is pretty cool. I guess I would really enjoy learning more about myself and how my heritage has played a role in my life.

Humans are good/evil by nature

I like the saying from the movie The Italian Job, “I trust everyone, just not the devil inside them.? This is basically how I think about humans; I believe everyone has good in them and are innately good by nature. No matter how evil a person may seem, I believe they possess at least one good quality. In general, I believe most people are, in the core of themselves, good. If people were created evil by nature how could we have the good we do today? I believe we wouldn’t have the good we do today if humans were evil by nature. However, I believe society has a great effect on many people which brings out evil characteristics people have. Still, not everyone acts upon the evil they encounter in society, and those people remain in a sense good. Yet, many people do let the evil in the world influence them and they can become purely evil or just possess a few qualities or habits of evil.

October 17, 2007

Not Another Career Possibility

I got into gardening this last summer when asked to plant a few rows of annuals for my grad party. Though I’ve always loved weeding, actually planting things was relatively new to me. And, my god, did I ever enjoy it. Gardening proved to be so therapeutic! I couldn’t believe how much I relaxed as I scrounged up the dirt and tucked in the plants and softened the surroundings with my trowel. I had to lean back and sigh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There’s something to be said for getting good and dirt-covered in the shade of an oak at the start of summer. Although I couldn’t dream of gardening and such for a living, I will definitely be planting and maintaining my own patch of land this summer.

Yet Another Career Possibility

I would consider taking on the role of a television announcer or host if and only if it were for some show or network that I consider outstanding. I’m talking like Sunday Morning or 60 Minutes or something of that caliber. In fact, one of the most fantastic jobs that I can think of goes would be something resembling driving around the country and reporting on rousing, previously-unknown stories of astounding proportions. I’d be similar to the guy on Sunday Morning who travels for the show and unearths the thrilling secrets of little towns. Mind you, what he uncovers is all good, fun stuff—none of that negative, our-country’s-falling-apart, downer junk. And I would do the same. My discoveries would, in an ideal world, be of the fabulous, heart-warming variety, but they’d also be informative. I’d journey to some endearing little town and find out what makes it tick. I’d passionately report on this spot and its oddities and I’d enchant audiences with tales of the town’s best-kept secret: where to go to see a breathtaking sunset, view an annual watermelon-eating contest, or play hopscotch with some serious players. It just sounds amazing.

October 15, 2007

Confidence in academic abilities

I guess I would say I kind of developed confidence in my academic abilities. I have always had a hard time trusting myself so I am never totally sure if my answers are right and I always go over them several times even if I’m 95% sure they are right. I’m not one of those naturally smart people; I have to work really hard at getting good grades. All throughout high school I did work really hard and I ended up graduating at the top of my class and getting a bunch of scholarships. I guess my work ethic came from growing up on a farm; everything was done 110% of the way, and if not, I did it again. I took high level classes in high school (college classes) and I know I can write good papers and do complicated math problems. However, I would just prefer to have a second opinion. I just I just need to learn to trust myself more because I know I have the ability to succeed in whatever I do.


Just like every little girl, one of my heroes was and is my mom. She is an amazing person who I go to all the time for advice. On the flip side, my dad is also an amazing person and qualifies as one of my heroes. They are both amazing people who work really hard and never complain. They are always there for me and love and support me no matter what. When I was younger I did have a few other heroines though. My first one was Nicole Nesseth. She was a volleyball player on varsity and she was amazing, I just wanted to be able to hit the ball like her because I loved and still love volleyball. Ironically, I’m not even close to being tall enough to be a middle hitter like her, and I became a setter like my mom. The next heroine of mine was Lesley Johnson. She was on the varsity basketball team and I was the manager. She talked to me and we had a wonderful friendship. She was a great role-model for me; I am still in contact with her today. My last heroine was Shania Twain. I thought she was so cool singing up on stage when I was a little girl. I remember telling my mom while she was doing the laundry I wanted to be a singer just like her. My mom told me that was amazing and we found her address and I wrote to her. I don’t remember if I ever got anything back. However, I found I really don’t like being on stage, I don’t have a great voice, and I don’t want a life in show business. I’ve had many heroines in my life, but my constant has always been my mom and my hero is my dad. I love them both.

Sex-role socialization

When I was little I had a lot of guy friends so I ended up playing a lot of sports and just hanging out with the guys. Therefore, all throughout my life I’ve always been the sporty girl in my grade. I even told some of the guys in my grade I was going to play in MLB before they were going to. I eventually had both guy and girl friends and I never really felt any pressure to do or not do something because I was a girl. Also, my dad is a farmer, so I helped him a lot and I still do. However, my dad will choose my brother over me sometimes when he needs help. Still, this is okay with me because I’m not crazy about farming as a profession. My parents always told me I could do anything I wanted in life and so I believed them and I still do. Even though I’m choosing nursing as a profession, I believe it’s because it is what I want to do in life, not what I “should? do in life.

October 14, 2007

Potential Job: Professional Soccer Player

I had a dream the other night. I was playing in a serious soccer match. Both coaches were yelling and the players were running at top speeds to win the ball. My team was doing well, developing the ball and creating scoring opportunites. Everyime the ball was passed to me, I knew exactly what to do with it or whom to pass too. It was an aweseom feeling. Now I know Ricky and a few others will laugh at this but being a professional soccer player would be sweet. However, it is an unrealistic fantasy. I like soccer and playing it professionially might be fun but I'm not and won't be good enough. I just like to think of unrealistic jobs because the unrealistic can be horribly dismal. I imagine myself showing up to the office in one of these "realistic" jobs in a soccer outfit and then kicking a soccer ball directly at my jerk-of-a-boss. That vision makes me smile :)



Gender and Jobs

I don't think gender should have anything to do with professions. If there is something someone wants to do, they should do it. Men can be nurses, or teachers or homemakers while women can be corporate leaders, mathmaticians, or scientists. I know many of the gender roles are diminishing, but they are still present. In less obvious ways, men are raised to believe they should be jobs defined as rugged and manly. At the same time, women are whispered to be housewives or jobs involving care. I don't know what profession I would like to take part in. But, if I choose to be a nurse then I'm totally cool with that. Some historicall figures have been people dominating in areas that don't agree to their sex. For example, one of the people who discovered DNA was a women. Also no one lectured Dr. Spock when he was giving maternal advice. All I am saying is go for whatever dream you have despite gender stereotypes.

Potential Job: Scientist

Isn't it cool to create? I mean there are so many awesome things in the world that mankind has created. I take a walk to the general store and I see amazing things: cars, bikes, buildings, trash cans with twirling lids, socks! I mean so many things. Many ways a person creates involve science. I think it would be awsesome to be the super smart people that throw on those white lab coats and then create some new form of glue that sticks to everything! Scientists often combine chemicals in new ways and accidently create awesome products. A lot of every-day items were produced on accident: like ketchup! All I know is that if I were one of those scientist who created somethong awesome: I would be psyched! A few complications could occur which include the facts that I am lousy at math and my chemistry grade is not fantastic. I may need to work really hard if I want to become a scientist.

BILL NYE (da bomb)

Whose Invite to my "Party"

At my party, I want there to be a lot of artistic people. Why? Because artistic people are flippin awesome! I honestly don't know if I'm an artistic person or not but what evs. Artistic people say whacky things that make everyone laugh. I mean if you take out a cake and sing happy birthday to someone. An artistic person will all of a sudden whip out there guitar or lute or harp or whatever it is artistic people make music with. Then everone will "Oooh" and "Ahhh" as they play their 'thingy' and the party is rolling. I think I would like to be an artistic person. Art doesn't only mean music, art is the creativity people have to come up with new ideas. Instead of giving people the normal gift of money, an artistic person will buy a hoola hoop and make the giftee twirl the hoola hoop around their waist in front of everyone! That is awesome! My form of art could be writing or maybe invenitng some sort of gaming system. The truth of the matter is, artistic people have the creativity to apply there skills to tons of different fields.



Possible Job: Veterinarian

I love animals. Any time that I was having a bad day in High School, I would come home and play fetch with my dog. Somehow, it would always make me feel better. Thinking about that has made me think of being a Veterinarian. It follows logically that if I like animals maybe I will like taking care of animals. One major problem I am just now starting to see: I dont know if I am spelling Veterinarian right....... I really hope I am. Another problem is that in order to help animals, sometimes you have to perform surgery on them. I dont mind blood, but I don't know if I could splice open a happy bundle of fluffy fun kitty cat. Do you know what I mean? I like petting and playing with pets but I don't know about like dissecting them. Sure they say its all for the animals own good. But what about a neutor or a spade? Is it an animals own good when you whack off its "you-know-what?"

"I will name him Pug, and he shall be my Pug" :

Myself as an Old Guy

Just a few moments ago, I imagined myself as an old dude. What I got out of it was that I am going to be an awesome nerdy old guy. I'm going to go skydiving, play intense video games, make fun of younger people, go biking, go camping and much more. I'm gonna be the seventy-year old person that never grew out of being a kid. After imagining this, I begain to think of what it may take to get there. All I know is that if I'm going to have that much energy when I'm really old, I'g gonna have to find a job that I will enjoy. In that way, I can spend 40 or maybe only 6 years working and then the rest of my life "playing" That would be awesome! I also want to have enough money to spoil my grand kids so I may have to win the lottery or something too ;)

Funny Old Guy:


Job: Zamboni Driver

I think being a zamboni driver would be awesome! What is a zamboni driver? Imagine driving on this cool machine, gliding over ice and leaving a crystal clean surface of ice behind you. Once you are done, kids of all ages come out laughing with their ice skate on and they jump onto the ice in glee. That is what it means to be a zamboni driver. Even though that sounds cool, I dont believe I will ever be a zamboni driver. First of all, I wouldn't make very much money and second of all, it simply isnt realistic. Sure driving around on ice while sippin hot chocalate would be fun at first. However, I would get bored and move on to something else in a very short amount of time. Not to mention, I have terrible luck with all things mechanical. If I wasn't careful, I bet i would accidently leave my zamboni on or something and it would be riding around crazily with a ghost driver. Eventually, all the snow would melt and everyone would be sad :(

Zamboni!!!! >>>


How to Deal with Stress

How does one deal with stress? In the course of a lifetime many people never find the answer to this question. Personally, I am still not really sure. The "Career Plainning" book by Donald H. Blocher (et al) mentions adolesecence as the optimial time for stress by calling it "storms and stress." I would agree that that is a time period involving a lot of stress but it is not the only time. For example, right now I feel stressed because I need to write a lot more blog entries. How do I deal with it? 1) I ignore my problem or 2) I take care of the problem or 3) I explode!. Luckily, I have not had to resort to the third option yet. Stress management is important, and I hope to find excellent ways of dealing with stress in the future.

October 10, 2007

Exploring possibilies, probabilities and choices

Doing the activity on different careers, and what your personality is like and what jobs would fit your type of personality really helped alot on making career choices even though I already know what I want to go for it still gave me a lot of ideas on other jobs i might be interested in also! I definately found out bby doing the card sort and the activities in the book that I fit in the Social category for jobs teh second category I fit into is conventional. These two categories make a lot fo sense because they fit into what things i like to do best.

Aging and Affecting Closest Relationships

For me everyday I feel lik eI'm becoming more and more mature growing out of the kid stage and now into real life and reality. I feel like I'm aging qiucker than most people my age because I am already a mom, which is really weird but it is going great! As to aging and relationships, after high school graduation I felt like I was never going to see my classmates ever again because we were such a small class and all going different directions. After making all those close relationships they all kind of went separate ways which is sad. Now taht i am in college you start new relationships with new people which is like a whole transformation/starting over like the beginning of high school years. At the end of college I don't know how I would feel about aging, it is stressful for me to watch my parents go through the death of there parents. i love my mom and dad to death and aging scares me in the reason that I don' want to have to go through that either. Life is life and you just have to make the best of it even though you age day to day.

Reflections on Daydreams of the Future

Here’s one of the many “ideal futures? for me:
I’m a licensed psychologist with my doctorate. I have my own private practice with a multitude of patients. We meet one-on-one in my office and discuss their many fears and aspirations. I provide a safe and healthy environment for them to unwind, relax, and put pieces together in their troubled lives. I love my job. I love it because it allows me to fulfill one of my many life goals: helping people in the most elementary way: by listening to them and assisting them in figuring out what’s really going on in their minds. I have a respectable practice, a high but not outrageously-high income—meaning I can afford to take fun and pragmatic vacations every year, but I’m not living in a mansion. I like to think that, even if I had the income, I wouldn’t live in a mansion unless it was entirely filled with people—my kids, my relatives, my family—but who knows what’d I’d really do with untold riches? Anyway, I own a cute and practical house that fits me, and whomever else I live with, in terms of space. If I live alone, I have a cute, cottagey house with a whimsical garden (maintained by yours truly) and many other things besides, but I’ll do more on a dream home in some other blog. If I am married with children, I live in a little bit bigger house that’s just as cute and inviting (which it will be no matter what, because I make it cute and inviting). Oh, and how could I forget? Whether I’m married with kids or no, I have at least two adorable, amazing, loving little dogs.

October 9, 2007

Another Career Possibility

Ever since I read Hemmingway’s A Farewell to Arms, I’ve placed “ambulance driver? in my maybe-pile of possible career options. The career card relating to this that I found in my text book is Emergency Medical Technician. On the back of the card, this person is said to perform “emergency medical care and rescue as part of an ambulance or emergency room staff.? Sounds pretty cool, right? I think so. I also find that last bit, the part about emergency room staff, pretty inviting. Being an ER doc is also something I’ve considered. So, pros and cons….let’s see…I’d definitely have to know my stuff about human anatomy and all that, which is not a bad thing, it just means a lot of schooling. Would med school be required? I think it would if I chose to be the ER doc, but not if I chose to be an EMT. I’m not entirely sure. ER doc would require working in a hospital, which I’ve decided, for the most part, is not an option. Being an EMT would mean being on the go a lot, which I really think I’d like—it would keep me from watching the clock during the work day. Being an EMT would also mean loads of new and old situations every day, which sounds quite inviting. I think a fast-paced job would be pretty cool. As for the responsibility? Hm…that’s another issue entirely. It’s not that I don’t think I could handle the responsibility, because I have complete confidence in my ability to learn all the necessary info and apply it when it’s needed, but I’m not sure I’d want the responsibility. I’m very much a care-giving person, and that part of the job would be amazing and would totally fit me, but I think it’s clear that an EMT has an obligation to administer more than just soothing attention to the patient. So, conclusion…um….I don’t think I’d like to be an ER doc (even though, if I were to be a doctor, that’s one of like two kinds I’d seriously consider), but I might consider being an EMT if I got to drive an ambulance and administer care to people that way.

Parental Relationships

I have always had an extremely close relationship with my parents, especially with my mom. My mom and I are able to talk about anything. However, right now there is a little bit of stress between me and her about church. This past year I've become very interested and active in two churches; one of them is our family church (Catholic) and the other is Baptist. My mom has always been Catholic, and so she values it a lot, but the church is not active for the youth like it used to be. Also our pastor is really not cool. I told him about my mission’s trip and was going to ask for some financial help from the church, and he just laughed at me which upset me quite a bit. The Baptist church I started becoming involved in has an extremely good youth program on the other hand, and I learned so much from them. For me it's really not about being Catholic or Baptist, I just want to be somewhere where I'm learning and being challenged, and I feel the Baptist church does that for me more than the Catholic. When talking with my mom about it, she understands and tells me everyone has to make the choice which is right for them. However, she really wants to go to church as a family and stuff so she makes me feel guilty about not going to church with them because she knows I'll feel really guilty and go to church with them. I think it's just hard for my mom to understand I don't really care if I'm Catholic or Baptist because being a Catholic is so important to her along with all the Catholic traditions. My dad and I talk, but not as much as my mom and I talk. I'm feeling stress from my dad right now because I know I'm going to have to transfer schools to be a nurse. Being the banker my dad is, he doesn't really want me to change because I have really good scholarships here. He just wants me to finish out the year here and then go to nursing school. However, he doesn't really understand there are no more nursing classes for me to take which would benefit me for the nursing school I want to go to. Therefore, I want to go to Northwestern Bible College for the 2nd semester and take some religion classes which really interest me because I can't get into a nursing program until next fall. So, he just wants me to stay here for financial reasons; however, I want to challenge myself and learn more spiritually. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens next with that.


About two years ago, my aunt told our family we were going to have a new baby cousin in out lives. This would have been wonderful, but she is not married and this was a major problem in with our entire extended family. We didn't shun her or anything, but we knew she compromised her values, and that was wrong to us and her. The father and her had been dating for 8 years and living together for 3 when he cheated on her. She kicked him out and then 2 years later took him back, and that is when she announced she was pregnant. She was extremely upset with herself because she renegotiated her values for her boyfriend and ended up pregnant. The whole family still supported her, but not her decision. Also when they moved in together, she renegotiated her values because she (and our family) doesn't think people should live together before they are married. However, everything is okay between her and everyone else, and we have a cute little girl cousin who gets way too much attention! This is a great example in my life in which a midlife person renegotiated aspects of her life.

Feelings about Aging

When I think about myself aging I get two different perspectives. I think, wow it would be really nice to not be in college right now because it just seems like college is going to take forever. On the contrary, I know when college is done I will think it went by way too fast. Then I also think about everything I would miss out on if I skipped over college. I wouldn't meet new people or learn about myself. In my first month and a half of college, I've learned more about myself then I ever have before; it has shown me what is really important in my life and what I value. On the other hand, I think it would be really exciting to have a family, job, and my own life. However, I know I am not financially or emotionally ready to take on those types of challenges yet. I know I need to go through college so I can get a good job and establish myself before I have a family, job, and live on my own. Aging does seem to offer some promise for me though. It offers more challenges and responsibility because of living by myself or with my family. This might seem dorky but I really love high school athletics and I'm super excited to watch my kids play. I guess I just love the atmosphere it's played in and I just miss it so much. Aging, however, does seem frightening though because there are things I'm going to have to do like taxes and mortgages that I have never had to deal with before. Also, I will be responsible for another human life(s) (my kids) and that in itself seems scary because I really don't want to mess up big time or anything. Still, I know I'll figure out how to deal with them and I'll be alright.

October 5, 2007

Getting your work done on time *explicitive*

Ah the fun addage of getting your work done on time. Being in college now we dont have mom or dad "the bad guy" on out butts all day telling us to get our homework done. Our time is our own to do what we will with it. But dont let that fool you, missing an assignment here or there can hurt you. The thought of "o ill do it tomarrow" is nice but will you realy if your already putting it off now. What if you have more work to do tomorrow, now you have twice as much to do, so what gets left ourt for tomorrow this time? these things can add up quite fast and its easy to get overwhelmed next thing you know its exam time on chapter 10 and youve just got done with chapter 8. This is one of those problems i have myself, not that i have "better" things to do but i just dont wanna do the homework right now, or you wanna wait till your "inspired" to do it. Well this dosent work and from what ive learned you should do the things you like the least, first. As well the whole study 12 hours strait before the test never works either, this is because you can only remember around 7 things at any giving study period. Guess i need to work on that some eh? just look, its friday morning and im blogging now, mwahahhahaa anyways .......

day dreams aka the stuff you would rather be doing

day dreams, we all have them. Most people have them when they are bored or dont wanna be where they are at the givin time. The things you day dream about are unique only to you but can be about anything that happens to wander into your mind. Myself i spend alot of time thinking / daydreaming about modifying my car. sounds kind of cleche with the whole car/guy thing but you cant avoid all the cleches. While i love dealing with cars or more like
"i like dealing with the cars i like in a performance orientated way" and it would be nice to own a performance shop i do not thing that it is a career possabiliy for me. Part of this is because being a shop owner or just working in a shot typicaly means you need to own all the tools you use including and specialty tools. this can be extremely expension 100k$$ plus. As well i do not have much time or patiance to work on somone elses car vs working on my own, so for me this is going to be more of a hobby for me throught my life. I dont see this changing much because as the technology changes and the cars change they become more interesting to me.

Happiness again

You might ask yourself what is happiness, or who or what makes you happy? Ive noticed that very few people will say that they themselves make themselves happy, and normaly say that another person is responsible such as there family or there friends.I think part of this is because people dont realize that there happy unless they are with other people, and that might be because if your with a group of people the next day you can reflect and talk about the good time you had the night before and add some kind of confirmation the the happiness gained from the experiance. Another thing might be that people dont realy notice that what they do for themselves makes them happy. Things such as doing good on a test, buying a car, completeing some kind of project you have been working on for a long time, while these things also make you happy you dont realy notice it untill you have been recognized for your achievment. People place more enphisis on other people seeing what they have done and being praised for it than they do from the personal satisfaction for completeing the task.

People’s Reaction to Developmental Crisis

The reactions I’ve seen to developmental crises have been varied. On the part of my parents, my dad generally acts like a teenage boy who can’t express emotions and so it comes out as sort of irritable anger, whereas my mom seems to handle it pretty well. My mom will talk it out and come up with a solution and go for it, not that she never gets rattled, but it generally doesn’t last very long. My brother is a lot like my dad and will get moody and irritable, they especially do it when they are about to say goodbye to someone. I think they try and pick fights so that they don’t have to admit how much they will miss whoever it is going to be, but I know it to get a little annoying. I have seen the extremes as well, friends who just can’t handle being in college and trying to make new friends who end up with some serious issues, and other friends who completely thrive in new environments and really enjoy moving from place to place. There are a lot of different ways to react and it is good to see different people’s reactions so that you can determine which you would like to do and which you will try and emulate.

Challenges I am Striving to Master

Most of the challenges I’m trying to master in my life are not yet specifically known to me. The biggest ones that I see happening are road blocks to what I want to accomplish, like monetary issues stopping me from being able to travel or timing gets to be really difficult. The most important challenge that I’m going to have to face is having to really work for what I want and not letting the fear of the unknown stop me. I haven’t yet been faced with a chance to travel on my own (without adult relatives) and I’m not sure how I will react. I know that at first I will be extremely excited, but I’m afraid that I will freak out when the time actually comes and sabotage the trip for myself. I don’t think I will really let myself do that, but I can see the struggle with myself as being one of the biggest challenges for me. Other challenges will be finding the balance between my desire to travel and see everything that I can and a more settled family life. I already know that my family life won’t be completely traditional, at least not in the settle down in the suburbs kind of way, but since I know that I want a family I am going to have to figure out how to deal with all the responsibility that comes with that and still accomplishing my dreams. I’m sure that once I come to that point I will be able to make the sacrifices necessary, but for now it seems a pretty daunting challenge.

Inner Voices When Confronted With New and Difficult Challenges

When I have a new challenge my initial reaction was that I don’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to have to do it or think about it or anything. However, after that I would end up pulling myself up and get excited to face it. I would start telling myself all the things that I could do and how amazing I was going to be when I actually came to it. I used to have to deal with my initial reaction a lot longer than I do now, sometimes I wouldn’t even be able to get over it. Now I start to think like that to myself and then I yell at myself to stop it because every new challenge I’ve had to face has made me a better person. There is no way to avoid challenging situations in life and if you take them in the right way you can grow from them and learn something more about yourself and about your strengths. Now when I am faced with a challenge I just remind myself of all that I’ve been through and how certain challenges have shaped me in ways that I’m really happy about and then I get really revved up to take on whatever it is. I really see how facing challenges is an indicator of your strength of character, but that you can also change how you react to them. The way I used to react would have shown me as fairly weak, but as I learned a better way to deal, I realized my own inner strength that was always there, I just had to show it.

Exercise 3.2 Five Careers I’ve Daydreamed About

1. International Humanitarian Aid
2. Journalist
3. Scholar/Academic
4. Writer
5. Political Activist/Working in Politics

The occupations I have daydreamed about are in that order, but I’m not sure if they are all as plausible as I would like them to be, also, I’m not sure that I really want to do a few of them, I’ve just thought about them in passing. The occupations that my parents think I should do would be being a writer or journalist or be in politics. They support my desire to be in humanitarian aid, but my dad thinks that I write really well (which I’m not as sure about) and I think he wanted to be a writer and never was so he’s kind of pushing the dream on me. I think that others beyond my parents would think my list is crazy and that I should try and find something more realistic and something that I could either support a family on or that I could settle down and be “settled?. I think the ones that seem impossible would be being a writer or a journalist. I think it would be really great, but I just don’t see myself being able to have a career doing either. I haven’t studied writing enough or tried to write anything other than what I was required to for school and occasionally in a journal for either of those to be plausible at this point in time. I think the only one that is a fantasy would be a scholar/academic. I think it would be really interesting, but the only way I ever picture it is if I’m over in England or something and still get to travel to do all my research. I just don’t know if I could stick with it long enough to get that far and I wouldn’t know what I would want to study. I think the ones that could be hobbies are scholar/academic, writer or journalist, and being in politics. I don’t know that I would do all of those or all of those at once anyway, but I am interested in them and I just don’t think I could do any of them as my full time career.


Picture this: You're slouching in your chair during a class lecture. You stopped listening to your teacher's monotonous voice and are now thinking of your soft bed and how much you miss it. Then you start to notice the room is getting warmer and your chair is getting more and more comfortable. Your eyes ignore the teacher and find a blank random thing to look at and you slowly lose yourself in thought. You have escaped your arbitrary reality to a place where you imagination is the only restriction. You are daydreaming. Personally, I love to daydream. It makes any long day go by a lot faster. Also, a person can learn a lot from their daydreams. For example: I have daydreamed of being a video game designer/edito, actor, writer and a scientist in my adult life. These are apparently good cues as to what I might do in my future. These all sound like good professions but are they realistic? Do I have the skill and talant to be a writer or actor? I don't know. A scientist or video game disgner/editor might be more realistic. It seems daydreams are good at showing a few options as to what I might what to do but I continue to be confused.


October 4, 2007

Career Possibility #1 (not my first choice, just the first to be looked into)

I’m participating in a service learning project as part of my symbolic logic class, and the main task of this project is to go and teach a sixth grader certain logic principles, methods and, vocabulary. While visiting the local elementary school, it occurred to me that being an elementary school teacher could be a charming potential job. Meandering through the halls brought about found reminiscences of my own time in elementary ed. A school’s materials and programs were one thing, but what really made or broke a particular grade level for me often came down to the teacher. I could be that teacher, I thought as I traipsed past colorful children’s artwork strung up with clothes pins on strings. It seemed like such a simple and happy little world, where the most intrusive question of the day was, “which group should I play with at recess?? Of course, being a teacher in elementary school would mean bigger and more important questions than those of an elementary school student, but it’s all relative. I still can’t see it being all that stressful of a job, considering other jobs I’ve thought about, such as a surgeon. However, I’m sure there’d be more worrying to it than what comes to mind initially. For example, elementary school teachers don’t get paid all that well, from what I’ve heard, and there can’t be all that much job security. On the other hand, summers off would rock. But do I really want to adhere to a school’s schedule for the rest of my life? Back to the other side…I love kids. I love their innocence and the way their minds work. I love them less when they’re screaming and puking and whining, but (a) that comes with the territory, and (b) I’ve been a babysitter and a nanny for long enough to know that those are some things I’m great at not only tolerating, but also dealing with. I won’t be modest, I’m good with kids, and I like working and playing with them. I’d also love to be that teacher, the one who really helps them grow and leaves a lasting impression on them. I don’t have to be in history books, I just want to positively affect as many people as I possibly can and leave my mark on the world in that way. So, elementary teacher, yes or no? I guess it’s still a toss up.

My sense of identity after a developmental crisis

I have gone through a lot of changes in my life over the past year and most of them were caused by a developmental crisis. Last fall I was enrolled at the University of Iowa as a freshman and thought life was great. I was still the shy, unnoticed girl from high school, but they didn't know that there and I had a chance for a fresh start. Unfortunately, through a series of different reasons, it was not the school for me and I left after the first semester. I thought I had screwed up my life and that I was never going to get the things that I wanted, but then I really started working on what went wrong and who I wanted to be and I found myself changing. I faced this crisis head on and worked my butt off to get control of my life and make this situation into a positive experience. I found a college that was right for me and I found a way to become the person that I always wanted to become. If you had met me a year ago you wouldn't be able to recognize me. Sometimes I don't recognize myself because everything I'm doing is so different than what I would have ever done before. It isn't that I am being a fake version of me, I just found out who I really was and how to express it to the world. I've never been happier with myself and how my life is going than I am right now. Even when normal life problems come up (and they have come up) I know that just because I react differently towards them now I am going to be okay. I'm the same person on the inside, but now that I can finally show the world who I am, my entire identity has changed for the better.


Relationships always affect our lives, whether we want them to or not, and my life is no exception. Everyone is influenced by their parents, or whoever is in that position of authority over them, and they are always a big part of who you become. My parents have given me a lot of who I am and who I am going to be, they are the ones who taught me to always keep learning, they told me I could do whatever I wanted with my life, and they even fully support my decisions about seeing the world as my life's goal. It's not that they never try and hold me back, they aren't perfect and neither am I, but I've come to a point in my life that I can break through their barriers and be totally my own person when we disagree about certain decisions I, or they, have made. The search for relationships also really influences a persons life, and again, I am no exception. Starting school here has made me search for new relationships in terms of creating a support system of friends that I could fall back on, and as I found them, what I did with my time changed. It wasn't that I wasn't being true to myself, but that I was exploring parts of me that was more in common with the people I was choosing to be around. Even after only being here a month, I have found people that I really care about and who really care about me, but I've also found some people that I am choosing not to have a relationship with. They aren't bad people, but after spending some time with them I decided that I didn't like who I was around them. I am going to have to face challenges like that for the rest of my life and I am glad to find out that I have the strength and presence of mind to realize when I need to get away from certain people. Another way the search for relationships will affect my life is when I'm looking for The relationship, the one that will hopefully be a marriage and a family. I refuse to spend my time worrying about whether or not it will happen, or it needing to happen by a certain time in my life, but I know that when it does, it will be a pivotal time in my life that will definitely shape the rest of my life. Relationships are a necessary part of life that I personally think are awesome most of the time, but to think that they won't shape who you are would be an incredibly naive way to think about your life.

Intellectual Curiosity

How has intellectual curiosity been a part of my life and education? It's a good question that I have thought about a lot in the past couple of years. I have always been kind of a closet bookworm, even since elementary school, and have always enjoyed learning, but I have to remind myself of that sometimes. In my high school I had the option of attending a smaller, sort of experimental school at the Minnesota Zoo. It was called the School of Environmental Studies and was about 400 juniors and seniors. It sounds like a bit of a hippie school, and sometimes it was, but even more than that it was a school about learning in a different way, and learning in a way that is much more related to the real world. While I was attending I thought about how much I loved to learn all the time, of course there were times when it was just school and I didn't really care, but much more often we were learning about something that affects my life, or the entire world, in a way that made me think I could do something with this information. I think that is one of the main reasons that I continue to have intellectual curiosity in my life (even if I have to remind myself of that during midterms week) and why with all the other crazy things I want to do with my life, continuing to learn and expanding my education is an important part of my plans. I have no idea what I want to study, but I know that I am going to continue learning, reading, and expanding my ideas of the world as I continue to grow. Because of this, I know that whatever career I end up choosing, it will need to be something that keeps me learning and changes enough that I can't ever stop learning.

What is Unique About Me?

This is a hard question to answer because you can often sound arrogant or fear sounding arrogant, but it is important to realize it before you can decide what you want to do with your life. I believe that what is unique about me is my dream to be out in the world. I know a lot of people say that they want to travel and see the world, but I want to live everywhere and emmerse myself in every culture that I can. The feeling is more than just a daydream, it's so strong that even trying to imagine my life any differently makes me cringe and feel like it wouldn't be a life that I would want to live. I understand that everything may not work out as I plan it, and I have practically nothing planned out, and that life will take me to some unexpected places, but I feel like I have to try as hard as I can to get the life that I want anyway. I just know that I am unique in this respect because I haven't talked to anyone who has felt the same way that I have. Everyone tells me that they'd love to go and see the world, but then they'd settle down somewhere, or they would do it after they retire. I think about it as a way of life, like those crazy aunts/uncles in movies or tv who are the guest of the week who come and tell stories of their crazy adventures and then leave unexpectedly again. I don't want to make it sound like I don't want some of the traditional things in life, I do want to get married and have a family, but I feel like I am going to have to do it in an unconventional way for me to be happy with how my life turns out.

October 3, 2007

Values in the Work setting

Values are an important detail in everyone's lives, and everyone has different ones. For me, meaningful work, helping others, influencing others and a flexible schedule are four top values for me from the list on page 40. If I'm going to do something for a large portion of my day for the rest of my life, I need to know I am doing something worthwhile. To me, this means I am helping out not only myself, but others and the world around me. This way, I can be involved in the global community per say. This is yet another reason why I think nursing is right for me; I get to learn things about things which interest me, make a living, and help others which ties into my next value of helping others. I really like helping people with problems, injuries, and daily life. This is another fit for nursing because nurses help patients get better but may also have to help the family. By helping people, I am also influencing them in the right direction; by being a nursing I would be helping people better their entire lives. In order to do this, I would give them advice and influence them on what choices would be best for them, so influencing others is another value which I want in my work setting. The fourth value which I really want is a flexible schedule because I want a family. Family is extremely important to me and I really want to be there for mine. Nursing does have flexible hours which is another characteristic that makes it fit for me.

Dream #2

This summer, I went on a mission’s trip to Rwanda, Africa. The whole experience was amazing and I really want to return to Africa someday. I guess I just loved being there, and I feel in love with the people. Everything in Africa is so simple (most of the time) because no one has or needs the hurry up and get it done good and fast attitude. People just take life as it comes and do the best with it they have. It was so much fun being able to interact with the people; they are some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I mean, I couldn't even speak their language, but if I would attempt to say hello in Kinyarwandan, their faces would light up instantly. Then you would be able to interact with the person. Also, people always wanted to translate for you because they want to learn how to speak English. I know going back to Africa is a dream of mine, and I have thought about what if I live there for 5 or 10 years. I think that would be a great experience and option for me because I want to go back and help the people, but I do not want to leave my family and friends behind forever. Maybe once I have my nursing degree I will be able to help and educate some people about things which would improve their daily lives. I guess right now, this is totally achievable, but it is a dream which will have to wait at least until I get a college degree and a family.

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If I could do anything with my time and money was no object, I would live on a farm and ride and work with horses. I guess I've just always loved horses and have never stopped. I have shown horses a couple times and have been able to work with them even though I personally do not own any. Ever since I was a little girl, I've asked my dad for a horse for every birthday and Christmas. However, I still don't have one. Anytime I get to be around horses whether riding or watching I am enjoying myself. This is realistic, but not for me because I really want to live close to my family. The area in which my family lives in is not a place for a ranch of any type; horses are more just for leisure where I come from. This is totally okay with me because that is one major reason why I love horses so much. It's because they are relaxing and fun. Also, having horses is extremely expensive and I am not rich by any means, so starting a life based on horses would be hard because it would be nearly impossible to afford them. However, if I become a nurse, this dream can easily become one of my hobbies which would fit perfect in my life. I will be able to support myself and my horses with my nurse’s salary. So therefore, my career choice of nursing would be a perfect fit for me because it will be able to support me while allowing me to have the things I love the most, horses.

October 2, 2007

Career Card Sorting

So, I went through this incredibly-thick stack of career “flashcards? and sorted them into three piles: like, neutral/undecided, and dislike. I ended up with one in the neutral pile, about fourteen in the like pile, and the rest in the dislike pile. I found it pretty neat that the rest were in the dislike pile, because I started out with like ninety cards or something crazy like that. So, I had what, seventy-five cards in the dislike stack? Pretty awesome. Especially because I don’t really have a great idea of what I’d like to do, so it’s helpful to learn that I have a pretty good idea of what I don’t want to do. Anyway, I decided that, since I still have a good number of “likes? in the one pile, I’m going to dedicate a blog or so to each one (or, well, most of them). This way, I can take the opportunity to look into each of these interests of mine and get to know a little more about them. I plan on doing a bit of research on one career and then thinking and blogging about it before moving on to the next career. Should be rather exciting! Stay tuned…

October 1, 2007

Myself in Terms of Adulthood

Most college freshmen like to think that they are so grown up, so mature, so ready for the independent, adult life. I am not one of those freshman. I believe that I am ready to be living on my own, in a dorm full of support systems, and I feel like I'm living an independent life, except for the bills that my parents pay for me. Basically, I see myself as ready to be a freshman in college, to experiment with my new ability to make all the decisions in my life, when to go to bed, who to hang out with, when/if to go to class, but I don't see myself as an adult in the traditional way. I define an adult as someone who is independent of others financially, can make mature and responsible decisions, and thinks about more than just what is happening the next day. Right now I am not financially independent, I can make some responsible decisions, but I still slip up all the time, and I'm lucky when I remember what is happening in a week let alone years down the road. I know this is all part of the growing up process, everyone has to go through that in between period of having the freedom but forgetting about the responsibility. I also know that part of the learning experience is having to face the consequences and learning from your mistakes. Just thinking about myself in terms of being an adult makes me uncomfortable because I know that I couldn't handle that responsibility right now. I am in the learning process and I hope to continue with it and to grow and mature so that when I need to be an adult, I really can be.

Interests and Values in my Career

When I think about my career choice, whatever it may be, I definitely want it to be rewarding and fulfilling. The difficulty with that is I then have to decide what would make my career fit those criteria. I know that I don't see myself being happy working at a desk job or working just to make money, but all I seem to be able to come up with is what I don't want. When it comes down to it, I really want to do something that will keep me busy and excited, something that will mean that I am making a positive difference in someone else's life and that I will be able to travel. I need something that will have a shared interest in making the world a better place, not being in it for the money, and that people can make a difference. It sounds very peace love and happiness, but I can't imagine doing anything that doesn't work like that.