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Pursuing a Place Where I Feel I Don't Fit In

The idea of being released from the 'architecture school' is not only a difficult idea to grasp but it also seams rather dreamy in the eyes of an architecture student. How can I say that my opinion doesn't mater without meaning that i I am not willing and possibly able to try and make a change? Anyways, I know that wasn't the question so I will move on. From my limited 2 year experience of architecture here at the U of M I have found that I haven't really studied arechitecture yet. Now before anybody quickly cuts me off to say I don't know what true architecture is I will may an attempt to back that statement up. I do understand that studying architecture isnt simply looking at buildings and past architects as do I understand that there is a bigger idea than simply designing a building when you are an architect. I know that there are meanings behind the design beyond function, such as it's meaning to its user(s) and society, as well as its place in the world we live in. This I understand, but on the other hand I feel we have veered slightly of course and we do not look at it simply enough. One thing I would like to express is the recent quiz in which the comment was made that we are steering more towards cheaper and faster in designing buildings. Whether or not I interpereted the question right I would like to coment on it. In the world of being an architect I feel like not every architect has the luxury of not thinking cheaper and faster. In the perfect world we would all be a famous architect with a million dollar client but I feel the reality is much different. Now, I do not mean that i agree with designs that are not thought out and quickly built, especially when the environment is not taken into account which is probably my biggest concern when dealing with this topic. A design can be acquired that is cheap and quick to build, but it must be thought out. There is such a thing as a cheap and quick design that is efficient that attempts to be environmentally suitable. Granted I do not know this design but the design that I assume this statement was made about is the design that does not attempt to find this idea. It is cheap and easy because the designer is underpaid and doesn't care probably. This seems somewhat like rambling to me too so I'll try to get back to the point. If I were free to come up with my own program, I would have more research and hands on work on designing and not looking so philosophically at everything all the time. Designs are real, they can be understood (although sometimes up for interpretation obviously). I spent time in ARCH 1281 and I felt that some projects such as designing coats made of paper that were conceptual interpretaions of a building were confusing and unimportant. I am not trying to offend anyone but I feel that I really want to get started coming up with my own design ideas and stop staring at architecture philosophically and conceptually. I like my hands on classes such as ARCH 3611 and LA 1301. I have loved those classes and done well in them because I am interested. I know you don't want to do everything in life and I understand that but I took Architectural History before 1750 with Leon Satkowski which was painful as hell but I still understood the importance and didn't complain. I hate being frustrated with not wanting to fit into the population of professors and influences in the College of Design when I want to pursue a design career when I grow up. In my perfect world I would drop the philosophical ideas for a little while to do some hands on designing, with direct contact with people that do it for a living and take things a little more literally. I understand this may be unrealistic but it is my ideal and perfect world to the best of my knowledge at this point in time.

At the end of the day one blog made me feel better. I don't know who wrote and why...and I don't care. I just glanced at the only entry I could see and didn't look any further to avoid possible dissapointment.

"Always spoil some of your time in useless activities,
Indeed that is most productive."