June 1, 2004
My friend sent me a resume’ cover letter to proof-read this morning. I thought it was fairly well written. I only made a few small changes and sent it back with a description of why I changed those sentences. He was really happy with the changes and called me on the phone. As we were talking about it, he also brought up another concern about one sentence. This one sentence seemed a little disjointed from the rest of the paragraph. After discussing it I had an idea that made the transition better. He was really excited and I could feel his emotions. “You always help me. You are a wonderful friend!” he said.
How do we define friendship? In the Merriam-Webster dictionary it says friendship is the state of being friends. A Friend is defined as:
Main Entry: 1friend
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
Most of these definitions apply to my friendship with this man. I find the sources of the word friend to be very interesting. Old English fr Eon to love, and fr Eo free. It could be a free association of people, who share a common love for each other. Or free love that is given without expectation of return. I feel like all of my friendships have a base in mutual love. When a friend sends their resume cover letter, I do the best I can to help them look good on paper. I feel that what is in their best interest is also in my best interest.
I first met this friend about eight or nine years ago. I was working at a software vendor, doing training, technical support and programming. He was one of my customers. He called with many questions, and came to some training classes our company offered. I got to know him better and enjoyed helping him. And I could see his learning progress and enthusiasm grow. Then something tragic happened. Our company was sold, and then involved in a lawsuit pertaining to the sale of the company. It eventually had to be shut down and I moved on to another company. But when I did, I gave my friend my new contact information. I didn’t want him to be left without a person to talk to and get help from.
I cannot explain how this friendship was created, except that it has to do with helping another human being succeed. We can always find faults in other people, but can we find a friend in the people we interact with?
He has since helped me re-roof my house, and we play golf and tennis together and enjoy each other’s company. Too often as human beings we are afraid of attachments and think we have to go it alone. This kind of conventional wisdom only leads to feeling alone. We get our wish.
A long time ago I received an email chain-letter with the following poem in it. I have it hanging up by my desk:
There are no conditions placed on true friendship,
No hidden agendas or expectations of a return on investment.
Friendship has needs that are not met with greed,
Not furthered with pride, not put aside by shame,
Nor are Friends jealous or afraid to confide,
But filled with giving, and sharing of life.
Friends are mirrors into our own souls, but the reflection
We see is somehow better than we thought of ourselves.
To me Friendship is about what we can bring to it. It’s about what we give, not about what we expect to get out of it. Whether it’s an ear to listen, or a hug, or a resume revision, each of us has what it takes to make and keep good, strong and lasting friendships. When we look back on life isn’t it our friends who seem to be in most of our memories?
In appreciation of my Friends who make life better, I dedicate this thought to you and want you to know I appreciate you, “Thank you!”
Posted by carl1236 at June 1, 2004 2:48 PM | Love your Neighbor
such is the best
Posted by: PRATIK at June 7, 2006 1:35 AM