June 28, 2004
Not here, nor there, but in-between, we look forward to what will happen and wait for the new, while we still live in our current lives and situations. Itís difficult sometimes to know what to do or how to handle things.
My coworker is going through a rough time with her father who is in a nursing home. His medical condition is changing and the nurse practitioner is asking her mom what she wants to do about some of the changes. Her mom is really unsure about what to do. But one way they are dealing with it is by calling a family meeting to talk about it. All of the brothers and sisters and mom are getting together to discuss all of the options. Good, honest communication is helpful during transitions.
She told me that the time for denial is over. Often in times of transition we want to deny whatís happening, but that usually doesnít help and often makes things more difficult later.
My sister is losing her business partner in February and she wants to take care of transferring ownership of assets and buy her partners share of the company, and fill the vacuum created when her partner leaves, but her partner does not want to even deal with it until February. Delaying action on our decisions also may cause problems later.
My younger brother is thinking about looking for another job because he is getting burnt out at his current job. But trying to look for work while heís working so many hours is difficult. He also feels kind of guilty for thinking about leaving when itís been a good job for him and the pay is good. For him the transition is just beginning. Before he can take action he has to make the decision to leave.
Tonight my mom came to our house and had dinner with us and was talking about how retirement is going and how different things are. She is planning a vacation to go see my older brother in New Mexico to get a break from my dad. Heís off work all summer and sheís spending all day with him every day so feels like she needs a vacation now.
Transition is about change. How many people are afraid of change? Most of us like to have things stable, without change. But change happens. Accepting change can be one of the biggest challenges we face. Growing old is a change. We have to learn to adjust our whole way of life as we get older. We adapt. Being able to accept change and adapt is a good way to handle transitions.
As my children get older and move on in life my wife and I are finding more time together. Itís sometimes like re-learning who we are. This is a positive thing. We could look at it as losing our children, or as gaining a better relationship and recapturing some of what we might have lost. Handling transition has a lot to do with our perspective on things.
I never forget that during transitions there will be some rough spots. How we deal with them is just as important as what we are doing. In my life, good communication, giving up denial, actually making decisions, following through with actions on our decisions, accepting change, learning to adjust our lives, adapting, and changing our viewpoint helps me through these times of transitions.
Posted by carl1236 at June 28, 2004 10:37 PM | Attitude