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September 20, 2004
Agreeing to disagree
With a lot of talk about elections and politics right now, It’s hard not to cross paths with someone who disagrees with us. With politics people can become very heated and we can find out quickly that arguments really don’t solve any problems, but often create more division between people. You’ve probably heard people say that it’s not a good idea to talk about Politics in a group of people who may have differing views. But that’s not very conducive to solving the problems of our society. Interaction and dialog about issues and candidates can be a great thing. It opens our minds and makes us more aware of views we might not have thought about, and helps us to formulate more ideas.
Here I’m defining an argument as one of those conversations where someone has to be crowned ‘right’ and the other person ‘wrong’ in order for it to end. Since arguing is not really helpful, what is a better way to handle someone who is obstinate and belittling towards people with differing views. Many people just like to be opinionated and argumentative also. Staying calm is one good suggestion. Don’t let them get to you. Don’t take it personally. Their arguments are not really meant to hurt you, but to try to convince you into changing your mind.
This can be frustrating to the point that whenever a topic like politics comes up we just shut up because we know how heated it can become. People can be very opinionated. Along with that, some people are well armed with facts as they see them and information to support their views and often it seems like we know too little. It’s hard to discuss something rationally when we know nothing about it. So another good way of handling people who love to argue politics is to know some facts yourself At least knowing why we feel or think a certain way and being able to articulate that is a good way to keep things civil.
It’s not easy knowing the true facts though, because the political arena tends to get muddied. Lies are used to discredit the opponents and facts are twisted to make one candidate look better at the expense of the other. Generalizations are made and stated as facts. Another problem seems to be time. Who has the time to get to the bottom of it and wade through the muck to discover the truth? We all have lives and activities and responsibilities to take care of and cannot all devote a significant amount of time to politics. But ignorance of the issues is not helpful either. So we have to find a way to balance our local views with an understanding of the world around us. Reading or watching the news on a regular basis can help with at least having a rudimentary knowledge of things. Basically we have to care about what is going on and invest a little time into understanding it.
I’ve discovered throughout the years that political subjects are not always night and day. It’s not always a matter of one political party or one candidate being absolutely right and the other one wrong. Sometimes I’ve found myself agreeing with a different point of view on some subjects than what the person I’m supporting does. It’s because of how I feel about the issues. Sometimes I believe there are better solutions to our problems than the ones being offered. To someone who looks at things as polar opposites this idea may be infuriating. A good way to deal with that is to stick to the issues and how you feel about them. This also makes for a better discussion. Sticking to the issues doesn’t usually allow for broad generalizations or going off on tangents.
Keep a sense of humor. Having a discussion is different than having a heated argument. When someone takes themselves too seriously they can easily get heated up over a topic. Interjecting some humor helps us and others keep things in perspective. We usually are not solving the worlds problems with the arguments. That typically requires action. The debates will go on until someone does something about an issue.
Sometimes a person arguing does not intend to be hurtful towards others, but just wants to be heard. Listing to their views and asking questions can help them be heard. That does not always have to turn into an argument. If we have differing views, we may or may not have the need to counteract what they are saying. We can acknowledge that the other person has their opinions and it’s ok. We can agree to disagree. We can differ in opinions and still treat others with dignity and respect and love.
Posted by carl1236 at September 20, 2004 11:59 PM | Love your Neighbor