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November 21, 2004

Hearing the Voice of God

Today I heard God speaking to me again. I listened intently as she spoke about relationships. It came to me that in relationships with other people, for instance in marriages, both parties have to want to be there. It happens often in marriages that one person will ask for a divorce and the other one couldnít see it coming. Only in retrospect, after having lost someone does that person really see or take any responsibility for the decay and disintegration of the relationship. Itís happened to me before, so I totally understand this. Fortunately for me, I woke up and changed. Our relationship changed slowly for the better. But itís never clear-cut and often things get better and then worse, then better again. Relationships can and do go in and out of sync. People can fall in and out of love also. Relationships can be repaired. But both people really have to want to be there. And itís an ongoing thing.
Sometimes one person wants to be there in name, but is miles away in spirit. Jackson Browne sang a song about this,
ďI got my head down between my knees
I got my back against this bedroom wall
I hear my voice saying baby please
But I know that you donít hear me call

Youíre staring at that far horizon
I donít even know why you stay
Itís like youíre already miles and miles away.

We got this life so far turned around
We only talk about what happened last
We try to move ahead but weíre losing ground
To the heartache and the pain of the past

Staring at that far horizon
I donít even know why I stay
Youíre already miles and miles away...Ē

As I sat there listening to God she reminded me to think about my relationships and how I interact with those I love. She asked me a tough question, ďWhat ever happened to Ďand the two shall become one?íĒ When I think about my relationship with my wife, I canít say that I have always been Ďoneí with her. At times yes, but at other times Iíve been staring at that far horizon, already miles and miles away. Thatís not being Ďoneí with my wife; itís like not really being there.
In every relationship it takes two people to have that relationship. When itís not working for one of them itís not working the way it was intended. So even now after 20+ years of marriage I still have to work on our relationship. I still have to be present and be Ďoneí with my wife. I love her and Iím thankful to God for this reminder. Tonight after work I spent some time talking with my wife and listening to her. I took away some of her chores and did them myself so she didnít have to. It came at a good time, because sheís really stressed out about a meeting she has with a client tomorrow and she appreciated having someone to listen to her.
God spoke clearly to me today through my coworker who is going through a separation and divorce. She was explaining to me the problems she was having and the fears she has about how her children are handling this. She talked about her husband and how it was like he was there, but not really with her. She talked about a lot of things that Iíve experienced and can relate to. She didnít ask for any advice and I didnít give her any, but I did listen to her. I told her some of my experiences in the past with my marriage and relationships. I think she was thankful just to be able to get some of what was bottled up inside her out in the open. Itís difficult to go through life alone. Itís funny how we can be surrounded by people and still feel alone.
Iíve asked before, ďHow does God talk to us?Ē And the answer was, ďUsing any means possible for God.Ē Which is really through anything or anyone. Some people hear the voice of God through religious texts, some through books, music, or nature. God is always talking to us, but the real question is ďDo we hear God?Ē And then if we hear God, do we act on what we hear? To me there was an awareness that came over me as I was listening to my co-worker of specific examples in my life that were not working. This is a kind of Ďknowingí thatís hard to explain. It wasnít one specific thing that my coworker said in a deep voice or anything like in the exorcist movie, but in my awareness it was the voice of God touching my heart, revealing something I needed help with, and prompting me into action. I know that with every relationship, we have to want to be there. And we have to want to listen; that's part of being there.

Posted by carl1236 at November 21, 2004 9:14 PM | Knowing God

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