? Maybe we need to rethink our whole approach | Main | Good Blood Pressure ?
March 01, 2006
I feel disjointed
Today I was encouraged to write down some things I need help with, and then be open to the help that comes. I see the problems I face from a distance right now as if I am staring down at a small stream from the top of the mountain. I am so close to the source yet so far away from the solution. Today I accepted help on several occasions and am thankful for it. This is the core of the matter. Often we have trouble asking for help when we need it the most. I have taken a baby step in that direction by just listing what I needed help with and paying attention to the help that arrived and being willing to accept it. I think overall things will be good because we are functioning more as a team. The odds of failure for this effort were astronomical but now I can at least see the stream from the mountaintop. But I still feel like I'm out of balance. It is because there are some fundamental problems with the way this whole thing is operated. There are gaps that are not filled. There is a break in responsibility at several levels. There is no shared ownership of the problems and the responsibility. It's still operating on the old model that did not work. So maybe we need a different approach. The greatest vision here is to ask for help and to accept it when it arrives.
Now I want to tell you about Phil. Phil was really drunk tonight when he showed up at the bike shop. I offered him a cup of coffee but he said no, but he wanted a beer. He said he used to be a member and used to come here to true up his wheels. Now his wheels are all bent out of shape. We talked for a bit and then he pointed to a guy in the shop and told me that that was the guy who kicked him out last summer. After we talked for a while Phil went on his way to another bar. As he was leaving I told him, "Take care of youself Phil." And Phil grabbed my hand and shook it, and then held onto it with his other hand and mumbled something. Then he went to the bathroom and left. He was having trouble walking a straight line and talking coherently. And off he went. I don't know if I'll see Phil around again, but I was nice to him, so probably. But Phil is destroying himself. So maybe not.
Posted by carl1236 at March 1, 2006 11:45 PM | Balance