October 10, 2006
Sleepless in St. Paul
This category on my blog is not really about external changes but about internal, personal change. Although, as we know everything changes, especially physical things. Conditions change, so we often have to react to them. For instance, I'm leaving one job on Friday and starting a new one on Monday. That's a major change for me.
I know things will happen in due time, but there are a lot of things left unresolved. I don't know if I can ever resolve them.
In any case, I'm here awake. I tried to sleep but I was too busy thinking about my current job, my boss, what I have to pack up before Friday, my new job, the commute, and so on. It has my mind going full speed. And my body is showing signs of agitation at my hard workout today.
How does this have to do with personal change? One thing we all wish for I think is peace of mind. Wouldn't it be nice to be calm and cool no matter what happens externally? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of worry? These are things that we wish we could change inside, so we can react to changes in the physical world much more easily, with less stress.
For the most part I am a calm, collected rational person. But there is room for change. There is a lot going on right now and the pressure is getting to me, so I'm restless and sleepless at the moment. There is room for change. That's nice to admit. It sounds like an empty spot I need to fill. Like a cup.
So I made a cup of tea and came online to write about changing how I react to stress. I like to have a plan. For instance when I was doing software training, I would stress out about it until I got the outline done. Once I had the outline done I knew I could work my way through the outline and the training would go well. The trouble is it's Wednesday tomorrow and I don't have a plan for my transition to the new company. I don't even know what time I'm supposed to start there on monday. I don't know how I'm going to get all of my stuff moved home from my current office by Friday. There are many other things going on in my life that also need a plan. For instance, until I had a training plan with goals, my workouts were suffering, but this week my training has been great so far.
Here's my plan:
Call new supervisor. Discuss start time, location, etc. Ask what my new phone number will be so I can give it to the people in my current office.
Meet with HR to discuss some unresolved issues with pay, insurance, unused vacation time, etc.
Get boxes from maintence guy. Pack all of my personal belongings to haul away on Thursday after work. Borrow bike trailer to haul it with.
Email again to the Relay team to find out if I'm in or out (they still have not called me to confirm they want me to race with them). I hope I'm in. If not, go to my mom's house on Friday night and spend two days with her and come back on Sunday.
going away lunch with a whole bunch of people I loved working with.
Friday - Go into work early so I can leave early and get to Duluth early enough to prepare for the Edmund Fitzgerald 105k relay running race.
Run like an idiot. Then relax.
Sunday - go visit my mother who is going for her fourth chimo treatment on Monday.
Monday - set three alarms, get up early, shower and arrive about 15 minutes before my start time. If I don't get an answer on when to be there, arrive at 7am. unpack some of my stuff until my 9am meeting.
See, it's good to have a plan. Now I can go back to bed, read a little and go to sleep. But part of what I might want to change about myself is to learn to recognize when I'm building up stress and deal with it long before bedtime.
Posted by carl1236 at October 10, 2006 10:16 PM | CHANGE