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February 12, 2007

Flash Fiction Number 10 - The pig that he was

I tried this diagramming techniqe to write a flash fiction story. The directions in that article were confusing and I couldn't quite follow along the way it was written, so I just went ahead and wrote after getting some ideas down. But then tonight I read through the instructions again and corrected it, coming up with the intent. This really is a fun way of diagramming, kind of like mind-mapping in a story structure; beginning, middle (conflict) and end. My three words were, BEDROOM, FEAR, and PIG. After diagramming the second time, I discovered that my first draft had too many characters and too many points of view. So I rewrote it with the ideas from the second diagramming exercise. I only kept one sentance from my original. And that was in the middle. haha. So here is my second draft in one hundred words:

The Pig That He Was

The mirror in the bedroom doesn’t lie. The image he saw was kingly, and all that he was! He was the man. What happened in Robert’s bedroom was nobody’s business.
But if it was, he would be a star. The control was empowering, rewarding. He squealed in delight!
But then she disappeared, as if she was never there. Robert looked into the mirror at his own reflection. The pig in the bedroom squealed with fear!
The fat little gelatinous pig gyrated and squealed. It was too much. What would his friends think? Did they all hear? Robert ran and hid.

Posted by carl1236 at February 12, 2007 8:40 PM | Writing