Live Alive

Category "Attitude"

May 22, 2007

A lesson in Patience

I bought a motorbike, it did work, but then broke. I did some troubleshooting, ordered the part, waited a week for it to arrive and fixed the problem. Until it really didn't fix the problem. It fixed only one of the problems. So it still doesn't work. So I did some more troubleshooting and discovered the carberator float had a crack and was filled with gas. So I ordered a part and it'll be in on Friday. Three weeks with a bike torn apart, put back together, torn apart...and waiting for parts. And in the mean time I'm learning to dislike our local bus system. Anything over a few miles and requiring more than one transfer is not fun or reliable. I missed several busses in the last few months because one bus or the other was running too early or too late to make a connection. And then there is the waiting. Three hours per day on the bus is not a good use of time. And it's too disruptive on the bus to study or read.
Maybe next year I'll buy a little yellow and black Smart Car.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:53 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 05, 2007

Modifacations to my programming

You know how the programming process goes... Plan, code, test, debug, test, debug, test, debug...
Same is true with developing more efficient working habits. There is some debugging to do. But the design is good, the company is good, and it'll be a high-performance application. Providing I can get it done before the deadline. Whenever that is. Yes, I know there is a learning curve on any new job, but I'm approaching the end of my first six months and I realize that I am just at the beginning of really learning what I need to know to accomplish what I need to accomplish. It has been fun and challenging though. Now for the next six months...

Posted by carl1236 at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "motivation"

March 29, 2007

A positive attitude and persistence gets results

Today I had the second half of my performance review and my boss told me that one of the things he liked about me was my positive attitude. He mentioned several examples of how my attitude has had an impact on the department and produced some tangible results. So I finished my first 5 months with a good review. So that was a good note to end my day. (and motivating)

Posted by carl1236 at 10:50 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | motivation

Category "Attitude"

March 27, 2007

Crumbling in a pile of uncertainty

That usually comes after high states of confidence, fueled by equally high energy and optimism. The bubble bursting? Or it sets in just how difficult and complicated things can get in a hurry. I realized almost immediately that things were not going to be easy. I made claims, Promises that I knew I could fulfill, but realized that it definately won't be easy and can't happen without major changes, which in this case will take a while and involve a lot of people. So my strategy at work has changed. In order to achieve the goals that were set for me I have to learn how to be certain again after coming to a crashing halt, crumbling into a pile of uncertainty; unchartered territory.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:22 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Art"

Category "Attitude"

March 10, 2007

Creativity

As I was working on my artwork tonight, It hit me that sometimes creativity is what happens when you run into a problem (ie., it just doesn't look right,) and you modify it until it does look right. Revise, revise. Finding a solution to a problem.
The Craftstravaganza is coming up soon and I'm going to be there, so I had to get started on some artwork. That's what I did tonight. More about that tomorrow. I'll have pictures...

Posted by carl1236 at 10:34 PM | Comments (0) | Art | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 03, 2007

And who said there is poverty in China?

China's military spending will jump 17.8 percent this year, hitting nearly $45 billion in 2007, an increase of $6.8 billion over last year.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:38 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

February 21, 2007

When the going gets rough, don't take it personally

There is a difference between failure and success, and that difference is often not the same as failing or succeeding. If you know what I mean. There are times when failing is not something to be feared, but to be honored and accepted and even to be thankful for. Ok, more often than not, we don't recognize this. But here is what I'm thinking...Those times that I fail, the key to success is not really in whether I met my goal, but in my attitude in the face of failure. My attitude. Can I learn from my failures? Can I find a way to not only not repeat my problems, but to find solutions based on them, learn to excel BECAUSE of the failure? Is that an attitude or what?
Anyway, don't take failure personally, but peronalize it. Put your touch on it and change it into a step to success.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:27 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Love your Neighbor"

February 09, 2007

It's not that I'm open minded, but...

I am not closed-minded. It's different now. I'm not so closed minded that I cannot see the forest through the trees. I'm not so closed minded that I can hate and still call it love. It's different now. It came over me slowly, and all of a sudden I realized that I am not the same person now as I used to be. I remember being someone who bashed gay people, for instance, but somewhere along the line, I stopped needing to do that. I also used to reject other religions. I stopped needing to do that. I don't remember when and can't pinpoint any exact moment or incident that made me change. But I no longer reject other people like I used to. I am also not as insecure as I used to be. I remember how insecure I was. But that is not who I am now. It is different now. I don't exactly remember why I was so insecure, but I was. I guess you could call me open minded. But really I feel like it's not the open-mindedness that matters, but the 'not-being-close-minded' that does. So closed-minded that I could not see how to love other people like I want to be loved. I realized at some point, that I do not have to agree with other people and more importantly, that I don't need them to agree with me. Well, guess what, I have an open mind and my brain did not fall out! Mainly because I stopped having a closed, needy, controlling mind and started listening to my heart. I don't exactly know when it happened. But I'm thankful that it did.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:24 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | Love your Neighbor

Category "Attitude"

February 08, 2007

Changing the work culture

To do what I was hired to do I have to change the entire work culture in our department (and parts of the entire organization)! So where do I begin? Is it possible to do this from the near-bottom of the food chain? I would say it is, and it all starts with ATTITUDE. MY attitude, not theirs.
First, I have to be darn good at what I do. Note to self: Work harder on this.
Then I have to have a great attitude of change and performance and cooperation, etc, without dying or tiring. Note to self: Work harder on this.
What I said yesterday holds true. Persistence is the key ingredient for problems we cannot solve quickly or overnight. Some things are just too complex and involve too many people. So I keep working at it. I predict that by this time next year, WE will be producing better quality projects in 20-25% less time. I have seen enough areas now where we can improve to know this is possible. I hope I can remember to check back on this blog entry at this time next year. Too bad I can't set an alarm on an entry to send me a notification. haha. I could do that in my task scheduler at work though, not a bad idea. I can include a link to this page. Fun! It'll be like a time capsule, reading this next year.
If I survive this job that long. ;-)
So, what's the next step? Get this project done! I'm working this weekend to make sure it goes out on time!

Posted by carl1236 at 08:33 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "motivation"

January 27, 2007

Saturday at Work

Today I went into work for three hours to get some things done. I feel like I'm so far behind on one of my projects and it'll be ME responsible for missing the project deadline. But maybe not. I think I will go in to work tomorrow also. I got a lot done today where there were no other distractions or projects to work on. I also reinforced some of the software techniques I was a little shaky on. It's not enough to get the project done but it's a good start and a boost to my confidence. Now I'm more motivated to go to work again tomorrow to see if I can make some real progress on my project. Regardless of the outcome, missed deadline or not, at least I'm doing something toward the goal. Sot it's good.

Posted by carl1236 at 03:06 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | motivation

Category "Attitude"

January 19, 2007

Relentless

In a book I'm reading now, one of the traits of leaders is to be "RELENTLESS." The book tells us not to be a manager, but a leader. Who ever heard of the "Manager of the Free World?" or "Moses, you will manage my people out of Egypt?" Haha, anyway, to be a leader you don't have to be a super hero, or be the smartest, fastest, most talented. But you do have to be persistant. Relentless.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:55 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

January 11, 2007

Things that can't be controlled

How much time and effort do we spend trying to control things that can't be controlled? How much do I not even recognize what I have no control over. Or that I should not even try to control in the first place. My objectives at work for instance, are independant of other people's performance. If a coworker has a poor work ethic, they will eventually have to face their own music. My job is to create something better. A poor work ethic is not part of who I am so I cannot go wrong by working hard, being honest and being creative.
God give me the wisdom to know what I can and cannot change and the wisdom to not even go there.

Posted by carl1236 at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "motivation"

January 10, 2007

Fear or Stress, which came first?

I was wondering today which came first. Fear creates stress. Stress creates fear. Also I asked myself which came first, motive, motivation or action. A motive or desire creates the motivation or energy to then act on the desire. The action creates motivation to fulfill a desire and can lead to other desires or motives, which lead to action, leading to motivation to do more. Deciding which came first isn't really as important as recognizing what my motives and fears are.
For instance, on my new job, which I started about twelve weeks ago, I asked myself what my motives are in this job, what is my intent? here they are:
To be employed.
To be challenged in my work.
To do real work, make a difference in the field I am working in.
To increase my skill levels in several key areas, including regaining lost skills.
To stay employed.

Now what motivates me to work these desires?
Fear of being unemployed and not being able to pay my bills and support my family.
Fear of being seen as incapable of doing the job.
Fear of not being smart enough, fast enough, wise enough to handle the job.
Fear of not being valued for who I am.
Fear of not making a contribution to society.
Fear of failure.
Ok, enough of the fears,
I was unchallenged in my previous job and know that no innovation comes from no challenge. I wanted to put myself in more challenging positions, under pressure to see what I could create. I am still motivated by solving problems. Without problems to solve, I am less creative. In art too, there is the challenge of presenting a vision using whatever media I chose. The creative process depends on answering questions and figuring out solutions to problems. Need is the mother of invention. Not the other way around. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is a need, there can be invention and creation. I am having a blast defining need right now at my new job and coming up with ideas to solve them. It will be fun to look back and see what I've done this time next year.
In my previous job, my work did not really matter. I had to find a more productive use of my allotted time. I wanted to create something more than rules for others to follow. I also wanted to educate myself more on the inner workings of our societies infrastructure, and what better way to do it than drawing and design it? Solving real world problems in tangible ways. It's fun and useful.
So, where do I go now? Get more motivated by doing...create new goals, motives, desires. Get creative.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:47 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | motivation

Category "Attitude"

Category "Blogging"

December 31, 2006

Piecing together who we are by what we write

It is interesting to think about things in this way. Recently I read a book about Leonardo Da Vinci. It was a well written book and the Author admitted several times where history was blank on certain topics concerning Leonardo's views or actions, forcing future historians to guess or fill in the gaps. Some were informed, educated guesses but some were the author's projections onto Leonardo. Leonardo did not write everything down, even though he had a very extensive journal library spanning many years. I am told that he hardly ever made mention of himself or his personal thoughts on topics. Most of his notes were observations, or clarifications on observations he had made on previous pages. Very little personal conjecture on his part except where based on some new experiment. And he was wrong many times in his guesses, but still he was not merely guessing or writing about his views on things. It was more scientific in nature.
This all led me to wonder how much a historian would piece together of who I was personally by what I have written, drawn, painted, etc. I know it doesn't matter, but the thought of some future historian looking back and getting it all wrong sounds like a waste of everyone's time and energy.
For me, a historian would have to piece a lot of information together. (And that historian could be nothing more than some future decendant of mine researching her geneology.) I keep three journals right now that would have to be correlated by date; A work log, with thoughts mixed in, a notebook I carry around, and this blog. And then there are various websites that I've created with various writings and artwork that have sat dormant for a while, but still exist out there on the world wide web. And then there is my artwork in various households throughout the country. Many people do not even know that I created some of this stuff. Especially my woodcarvings and other such artwork. The other journal is the mental one, with thoughts I've shared with no-one. This is the one that I carry in my head. There is a reason for that that Historians wish did not exist. It's because some things should be kept as private thoughts. Although the closer we can become to being transparent to other people, the truer we are in our lives. We are more authentic when we are honest and our actions and words and thoughts all line up. So it's to our benefit if we have no secrets that would torture us if revealed. Or torture our great grand children. But, still, I find it interesting how most human beings live in this dual state of private and public. Often the two are not the same. Sometimes it's obvious and sometimes it's not.
In history, It has been difficult to piece together Leonardo's life, because so little material about him survived and so few people that knew about him wrote about him. This is true for many people that lived in his age, that history has completely forgotton. But now in today's age, in our time, here, now, there is the internet. There is abundant paper and an electronic trail. For instance, all of my purchase are tracked when I use my credit card. It's still not a complete picture but it's a far cry from what historians had with Leonardo Da Vinci. Today for instance, I bought some soup and cold medicine. I noted in my personal journal how I felt like I was coming down with a cold. And now I'm mentioning it here. I feel a cold coming on. Maybe tomorrow I'll write about how I think the cold medicine doesn't really help the cold go away and how I feel dizzy, light-headed when I take it. Someone could correlate my different writings on the topic and have a pretty clear picture of what my day was like and what I did when. Not that I anticipate historians even caring one way or another about me. But now I can move on to the next thought...How even with all of this information someone in the future will totally miss the boat on something I was thinking, because I chose not to share it with anyone. It stayed in my head.
Example: I cut hair today again for someone else after I went in to work. I also had my hair cut by the same person. The conversation and friendship was a highlight of my day. It would have been a lost moment had I not shared it here and had the other person not shared it with anyone else.
Another example is that today I made potato chips out of lefsa, which tasted like pringles unsalted. That was fun. I really enjoyed it.
And finally, my thoughts on today's blogging: This blog entry is for curiosity sake, me exploring thoughts, and thinking about me thinking about thoughts. And it's about you thinking about me thinking about my thoughts. And it's about you thinking about me thinking about your thoughts thinking about me thinking about my thoughts. Regardless of whether it's interesting to anyone but me, I find human thought interesting. I find my thoughts interesting and strange some times. Now you know.

Posted by carl1236 at 05:21 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Blogging

Category "Attitude"

December 28, 2006

You don't have to want to

I said, "I don't think I'm going to want to go to work tomorrow." To which the reply came, "You don't have to want to." True, I think, and I still have to go, but then I have to want to be there once I'm there. "You don't have to want to be there either." True, I think, yet I still have to be there and I have things that have to be done by deadlines. So I have to want to do them. "You don't have to want to do them in order to do them." True, I think, yet that's why I'm there. To get things done for a purpose. I like accomplishment, so I do it. I like being involved in a project and knowing what's going on and solving problems. So it's fun. I don't have to like that, but I do. I love this job! I can't wait to get to work tomorrow! ;-)

Posted by carl1236 at 09:02 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Love your Neighbor"

December 22, 2006

Co-writing a book, aka, working with others

Whenever considering a joint venture with other people it's a good idea to see what you are getting into first. But unfortunately much of the wisdom we need in working with other people is hidden from us until we experience the interaction between our self and the other person. I have a plan, the seeds of which have been planted many years ago, and fertilized by Sui Generis and other friends who write, and inspiration from the successes of many other authors. I don't just want to write a book, I want to co-write a book with another person. So this year I am gong to make it happen. It doesn't really when or if it is even published. But writing it willl be a lifetime experience. To do it together will be an experience in closeness of the mind and heart. How do you generate an atmosphere of collaboration and mutual support and love?
The fun is in the struggle.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:09 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude | Love your Neighbor

Category "Attitude"

December 20, 2006

Panic Attack

When things seem rough, like they have in the past week, I am amazed to discover that my real adversary is panic. It's that massive creature that looks like it will overwhelm me and I won't survive. I realized I don't have to fight panic because it's a vapor. The obstacles I face are really challenges I have to find solutions for, not obstacles at all and certainly don't create the panic I feel. The panic I feel is created by me. It is a feeling of inadequacy to the task at hand. And that's why we think we are going to fail. It can be overwhelming when we don't think we can do it, whatever it is. Even though everything can be broken down into smaller tasks, it's hard to remember that. Especially when there are deadlines to deal with and things are messed up. So my projects are difficult, that doesn't mean that I can afford to be locked up by panic attacks. It means I have to start thinking. I have to start thinking about what the problems really are and how to break them down into solvable tasks. I have to start thinking creatively and of course devote more energy to it. I stayed late at work tonight, but not too late. Tomorrow is going to be challenging but it will teach me valuable lessons. No panic, just work. It'll happen. I've already made lists to follow and a plan is forming in my mind of how to deal with all of the sudden and conflicting priorities.
Even though I have this plan, I am still amazed at how panic creeps up and makes me feel diminutive and incapable. Panic is not the challenge though, I remember and realize. Panic is myresponse to the challenge. Is that the response I need right now?

Posted by carl1236 at 09:31 PM | Comments (4) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

December 14, 2006

Frustration

Nine weeks into my new job and I am frustrated and kind of disappointed at what I walked into. But I'm trying really hard to succeed in spite of the obstacles. It's very interesting to me how we can think we see so clearly until we have the inside knowledge, at which time we see something completely different. There is nothing clear until we have the inside knowledge. The esocosim we desire is not easily obtainable without actually being inside. Then there is the frustration of realizing things are not as they seemed and we inside of something we did not envision. My only recourse then is to make the best of it. Therefore my plan all along was to make the best of it.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:36 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

December 10, 2006

Do not be afraid to be a leader

An Australian Advertisement by Henry Lawson

We want the man who will lead the van,
The man who will pioneer.
We have no use for the gentleman,
Or the cheating Cheap-Jack here;
We have no room for the men who shirk
The sweat of the brow. Condemn
The men who are frightened to look for work
and funk when it looks for them.

We'll honour the man who can't afford
To wait for a job that suits,
But sticks a swag on his shoulders broad
And his feet in blucher boots,
And tramps away o'er the ridges far
And over the burning sand
To look for work where the stations are
In the lonely Western land.

He'll brave the drouth and he'll brave the rain,
And fight his sorrows down,
And help to garden the inland plain
And build the inland town;
And he'll be found in the coming years
With a heart as firm and stout,
An honoured man with the pioneers
Who lead the people out.

Posted by carl1236 at 01:38 AM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

December 07, 2006

The adventure of leaving work after the busses stop running

When there is no other choice but to walk, there is no choice but to have an adventure.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:10 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

December 06, 2006

Just Do It

I think sometimes we cannot wait for perfection. I think sometimes we just need to get the first draft done! I took my best shot, based on what I currently know and got down on paper a well-organized process framework for our projects. Then I held a meeting and outlined our team objectives within that framework.
I met with some resistance, and skepticism from my coworkers, but I answered their questions about it, and calmly took it back to my desk and began altering it to more accurately describe our current model of operations. Now I have to take it a step further. I met with a couple of the engineers yesterday and today and am working on my revised model. And I'm discovering that my original framwork was pretty close, and I wasn't totally out of my mind. But without diving in, I would not have been this far, and I would not have learned from the Engineers or my coworkers. The first draft is going to have holes, but it's necessary.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:16 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

November 28, 2006

insecurity

Maybe the cure for insecurity is in security. Or maybe securing security secures more insecurity. If that is the case then insecurity is the cure for insecurity.

Posted by carl1236 at 07:44 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

November 26, 2006

The Magic, Sacred, Holy Book of Life

Do you want to know the meaning of life? Do you want the secret of life revealed to you? You can know for certain what you have been missing, if you just buy the book. This is no ordinary book. The book will transform you. The book contains the key to happiness, joy and success. Everything you have ever dreamed of can be yours! If you really want it.
The magic, sacred, holy book of life does not lie. IT grabs you like a prayer on the wind and carries you to the sky! When you open the pages you will not be able to put it down until they pry it from your cold, empty shell. You won't need a bookmark to remember where you left off. It'll be open to the page you need, when you need it all the time. You won't be able to lose your place or lose your way.
The wisdom of this book transcends the ages, because face it, even after centuries, we have not changed and it still applies! Do you want to know where to get this book? It's all around you. It's in you. It is experience and knowledge applied to your heart. It is the book of life you carry with you always. It's pages are filled with your pain and joy of survival. You live and breath by it. You make it each day and it's a magic, sacred, holy book of your life. It is alive. Once you have experienced and applied the wisdom of life, you cannot help but apply it. Go on live life! Learn! Be happy in knowing that you are doing it right and will arrive just the same. Apply the wisdom of experience. I have this book but I can't give you a copy of mine, because your book is different. Don't let anyone tell you theirs is yours. Because your life is your life to experience and fulfill. Yes fulfill. You are the author and the reader of your own book of life. You know, that magic, sacred, holy book of life you can't buy in stores or find on the shelves of the library, or download off the internet. It's yours already. Write it, read it, live it, enjoy it.

Posted by carl1236 at 06:47 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Life"

Category "Love your Neighbor"

November 18, 2006

The experience of giving a haircut for free.

Today I gave a haircut to a friend, using my Wald haircutting equipment which I bought to give myself haircuts. After giving myself enough haircuts to pay for the clippers, I decided it would be fun to share the wealth with others. So a long time ago I made an offer to give haircuts for free. It was kind of a funny, quirky thing to do, but I did it. No one took me up on the offer until recently though when my neigbor and then my friend Eric decided to do it. Haha, this one was an easy job though because he has short hair like me and just needed a cleanup. Thanks for the great evening Eric! That was fun hanging out and chatting and having dinner and talking bikes, computers and food stuff.
Now that makes haircut number two for someone other than myself. Anyone else want a free haircut? I'm sharing my wealth. Come on. It's free. Actuallly, it was really fun to touch base with Eric and see what he was up to and to just chat. Life can be fun and interesting when we treat each other well and with respect.

For reference here are my orignal posts concerning my haircutting adventures:
http://blog.lib.umn.edu/carl1236/dailyspirit/026911.html
http://blog.lib.umn.edu/carl1236/dailyspirit/056335.html

Posted by carl1236 at 09:19 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | Life | Love your Neighbor

Category "Attitude"

November 09, 2006

The end of the fourth week on my new job

Tonight I bought bagels and spreads to share with my coworkers tomorrow to mark my fourth week on my new job. I wish I could detail my experiences starting a new job, but it's too much. I do believe everyone goes through similar experiences though and I am taking copius notes. I will probably write about it when I recover from the shock of it all. ;-)
So tomorrow I am celebrating a whole month at my new job! I can hardly believe how fast it seemed. I am starting to feel more comfortable there but at the same time I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff, in a precarious position. When will I fall? Not while I'm trying to solve problems and learn everything I can about what I'm doing. Troubleshooting is a an activity that takes care of time. It's all part of the process of starting a new job. And continuing in a job. And continuing in a job. To troubleshoot you have to care about finding a solution to the problems.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:02 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

November 07, 2006

I voted

A friend asked me if I was going to go vote today and I jokingly said, "Yes, someone has to." I voted but seriously, why do so few people vote relative to our voting population? Do so few people care about the result?

Posted by carl1236 at 07:25 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

November 06, 2006

What would Leonardo do?

First of all, have a desire to uncover and discover. Today was a Leonardo day for me. It was a good day for learning new things. I think because it was interesting to me. Therefore a key to learning is to make myself desire to know.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:48 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Korean"

October 21, 2006

My love of Kimchi

I don't know what it is but every time I eat Kimchi, I experience intense pleasure. It's like music to my soul, like an aphrodisiac to my taste buds. I don't eat it very often but a few weeks ago I bought a jar of it to make Kimchi-pa-jon and tonight I was having rice with cashew chicken and remembered that it was in the fridge. It was perfect. I must be reincarnated from a Korean. But then again I could have just discovered what Koreans have known for centuries...Kimchi is really good! Why did it take me so long to discover this?

Posted by carl1236 at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Korean

Category "Attitude"

Category "Love your Neighbor"

October 19, 2006

When does Karma take effect?

I believe it's not some ultimate retribution we face, but a little-by-little erosion of our humanity. We do get what we give and we give according to our humanity. When we can no longer love each other, we are essentially blind and empty.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:15 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Love your Neighbor

Category "Attitude"

October 17, 2006

Day Two on the new job

Today was tough. I spent today learning how things were done. It's a lot of information to take in at once. Last night and tonight I have been mentally and physically exhausted. Now I'm ready for bed at 8pm! I wonder if I will even realize when it happens that I no longer feel like this. I wonder if I will even recognize the point when I no longer feel like the new person, when I'm deeply involved in projects, trying to solve problems and get things done. It will happen, but probably not in the first week. In the first week I am going to learn. That's it. Next week I will report where I am at with this. right now, I'm going to bed to dream about the good work I'll be doing and speedy learning curves! ;-)
By the way, I added pictures to my entry about trading Artist Trading Cards (ATC's)

Posted by carl1236 at 08:04 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

October 16, 2006

First Day on a New Job

This weekend someone showed me a small article on how to handle your first day on a new job. Some of the key points were to Focus on getting to know people, getting settled into your new office space, and not being afraid to ask questions. Also they suggested that if you didn't like something about your previous job, imagine that the changes you would make were already changed in your new job and then act like it.
I didn't have many questions because they were very organized and detailed and had handouts for me. There was only one thing left out... how to log into my time sheet, which I did ask about at the end of the day and someone showed me the secret password.
So taking the advice of the article I had a great first day. I tried to get to know people and asked them a lot of questions and told them about myself. It was good. Tomorrow is another day, but somehow I already feel at home. I'm even more excited about my new job now. It's a breath of fresh air.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:25 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

October 02, 2006

The wisdom of a St. Paul Taxi Driver

Today a cab driver tried to turn right while I was to the right of him, leaving me no room to ride. He hit his brakes and yelled through his window, "Darwin is going to get you!" I proceeded ahead and he sped past me. I caught up to him at the light and he again tried to tell me that "Darwin is going to get you!"
I asked him where he got his driver's license and if he knew what the law was concerning passing bicycles. I also told him that it wasn't Darwin that's going to get me, but drivers like him that are willing to risk the lives of other human beings because they are in too much of a hurry.
To prove something to me, he stepped on the gas when the light turned green, and sped on ahead. I rode the rest of the way home in the smog of cab driver wisdom.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:35 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Life"

Category "Love your Neighbor"

September 26, 2006

Why do we need usless things like this?

One commenter on SENSELIST asked why we need museums like those listed here and called them useless. At some point there was a statement that implied these people don't have a "life." Haha, define "Life." Why do we have any kind of collecting? Many people can't see the point in stamp collecting or bug / butterfly collecting. I can see the point. Someone gets a fascination with something and becomes an expert on that one micro-facet of life. Isn't a museum some sort of collection, but open to the public? Art Musueum. There is certainly some really weird art in some of those collections. But it's still called art. Some whole art museums are dedicated to really weird art. I'm sure there is a Hocky museum and plenty of baseball museums around. What if I don't like baseball or hocky. I probably wouldn't go there. But If I did I'm sure it would be fascinating to me, because any kind of highly focused exhibit like in a museum is bound to go into way more depth than my general education would provide about these subjects. One commenter pointed out that it was definately worth 20 minutes of his time to visit the "antique washing machine museum."
I thought it was interesting that while almost all of the other commenters were jumping in with names of other museums they thought were weird, one commenter felt it necessary to critizice the need for these museums and critize the people involved in them. It's not exactly a loving attitude toward other people who have found something fascinating to occupy their time. It seems to me they are living life they way they wish. Aren't they?
Hey, Andy, Wilbur, did you see comment number 30? There is a Mushroom museum in the U.S!

Posted by carl1236 at 10:13 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Life | Love your Neighbor

Category "Attitude"

September 23, 2006

How do I overcome Fear?

Sometimes I don't. It depends on the situation. We've all been taught that fear is a naturally occuring emotion that protects us from danger. Instinctually, or biologically we get a rush of adrenaline and our muscles tense up, getting ready for action. We get into self-protection mode. But often our fears are not responding to physical danger and our fears actually interfere with the solution to our problem. For instance if I am performing on the trumpet, tense muscles and adrenaline rushes don't help. It makes the playing worse.
My fear of a new job is also real, but there is no physical threat. I'm very close to starting a whole new job at a different company. At least I hope so. I really feel like it will be good for my soul to do this. The job would be more challenging and I would be putting my skills to a better use. But I'm going into unchartered territory for me and I would have to do some things I'm not real comfortable with. I was reminded by a friend, that I have done very well in situations like this so I should relax. She was right, I should relax, because fear is not going to help me in this case. Coming up with a plan will.
I do use logic to help me overcome fear. For instance in the job situation, I know that logically there is always a learning curve in every job. And if I work hard, as I have in the past, I will quickly get through the learning curve. The harder I work at the beginning, the faster that learning curve is over. After six months I know I will feel like I've been working there for a long time and I will be comfortable. Logically I know I am capable of learning new things. So what makes this job any different? I start classes In subjects I know nothing about, yet I do well in them.
I also don't beat myself up with negative affirmations, like "I never do well in math." or "I never do well in new situations." Sometimes I still get afraid of new situations, but that fear is because it's an unknown. I start to talk to myself almost immediately to logically work out my fears. Why would I want to counteract my own success at overcoming my fears?
Now what about my fear of losing my mother to cancer? This is a different kind of fear I think. In this case the fear is far removed from the reaction to danger. It's more a feeling of helplessness against an unknown, and a feeling of loss. Of course death is an unknown for all of us until we experience it. We can read about experiences all we want and pretend we know, we can even understand it's meaning, but until we go through it we have not experienced it. So it's an unknown experience for us. But I have a certain detachment to life in general. I am not owed anything by this life, so there is no loss to me if I were to go. I do not need to hold on to anything here. But at the same time I feel sorrow for people who are suffering pain and fear of death, the great unknown. No I don't want to lose my mother and I encourage her to fight for her life. I would do the same thing. I want her to live. Just like I want people to be successful and happy in life. I love my mother and will be sad when she does go. But I don't feel like it's her time yet. She's handling the treatments well so far and it seems like her cancer is being diminished. Time will tell. I feel positive about it. My mom is scared but after making it though three treatments, she's gaining confidence in the process. My detachment from life is not denouncing the things of life, but it's more a letting go of the attitude that life somehow owes me anything. Whatever happens is happening and I have make choices as they happen. Right now my mom needs some comfort and encouragement. You know? Sitting there while someone else is getting chemo makes a person think about life a little more. My mom told me today that it really makes her think about what is really important in life. She's doing more painting now and she's working on her family tree and she's enjoying her gardening. She's also doing the best she can to fight this cancer. I think my fear and hers are both helped by talking about it and being encouraged by how she's handling it.
As things go along in life, I have fears, and sometimes I don't overcome them. But often I can come to grips with it. Another way I do this is by taking action. It seems like an opposite thing to do, but I learned a long time ago that action replaces fear. The action may be as simple as calling my mom and talking it out. Or calling my brother to talk to him about how he feels about all of this. Also, in the case of fear of a class I am taking, action in the form of making a study plan and doing it, or talking to the professor to see how to do well in the class replaces my fear. I do much better when I am actually doing something about it instead of just being afraid of it and doing nothing, which would lead to failing the class. Very counterproductive.
Death is a natural occurance, and we are usually afraid of it but just having fear and doing nothing about it is not helpful to anyone. Even feeling helpless against cancer, I can still take action to replace my fear.
Fear of not doing well in a running event is not helped by not running for practice. Taking the action of trainning for the event helps. For me action replaces my fear. When I'm in the midst of taking action I'm not afraid because I'm too busy working on the solution. Same with my mom. She's working on taking her pills and eating the right foods to help her regain her strength and getting enough protein, etc. She's also doing some things she loves to do, that she feels are important in life. And she takes it all as just something she has to do in order to overcome this disease.

Posted by carl1236 at 05:38 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Bicycles"

Driving in the Rain

I'm not sure when it happened, but now I know I do not like driving in cars. I drove a couple hours to my parents house in the dark and rain on Thursday night. Then I went to Duluth and back with them on Friday. I spent Saturday morning helping my brother with a bike project, then since we didn't want to go for a leisure ride in the rain, I packed it up and came home after lunch. It rained the whole way home. It's still raining. I did not enjoy driving in the rain at all. Everytime someone passed me I could hardly see where I was driving. And then there was the semi trucks that create a wall of water when they pass. I'm glad to be back and look forward to riding my bike to the shop tomorrow morning. Even running in the rain is going to be more fun I think than driving in it. That's my plan for tonight. Rain running.

Posted by carl1236 at 05:29 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Bicycles

Category "Attitude"

Category "Life"

Category "Love Yourself"

Category "Triathlons"

September 19, 2006

Asthma and Allergies, Oh my!

Today I went to the doctor, twice, in order to get to the bottom of all of my recent health problems. I found out I am allergic to Ragweed and dust mites and that I have asthma. That explains a lot. Now I understand what I've been feeling. And like a stereotypical guy, I didn't bother going to a doctor until my friends and family got tough on me. So today I took some time to look into it by seeking professional help. And I'm glad I did. Now I have an inhaler I'm going to test and some nasal stuff for the allergies. And I have to vaccuum with a dust mask on.
My day was good overall. After my morning doctor's appointment, I got to go to the coffee shop and play a game of chess with a regular who I've only heard about. It was fun playing again! Then I picked up my prescriptions, ate some lunch and went to my next appointment. Then I ate dinner and went to a job interview. That felt really good. It's my third interview and it lasted two hours! The funny part is, I have a fourth interview with the same company! haha. Now I'm getting excited! And I feel like I really want to work there. It will be good for me I think. (for myself and others) For a while I thought I would do more good by staying, but now feel I'll do more good by leaving. make sense?

Posted by carl1236 at 08:52 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Life | Love Yourself | Triathlons

Category "Attitude"

August 01, 2006

A person's value for any given purpose

Today I went for a job interview. It's the first time in six years that I've done this. One thing that's weird about this whole process is that person A has to convince persons B, C, and D that A is exactly what they are looking for. Person A has to promote Person A to B, C and D in a way that they find a value in A.
One of the problems with this scenario is the money involved. Person A has to convince B, C and D that A is worth what A is asking. Well, A is currently getting paid a certain amount and doesn't really want to take less, so B, C and D must be convinced that A is worth what A is getting paid currently. It's wierd.
I know the goal of the owners of the company is to make money. The purpose of companies to exist is to make money for the owners. It's an interesting position for employees of the company, B, C & D to have to place a value on a person applying for a position in their owner's company. I don't even know if I'm worth what I'm making but I'm doing a job and someone is paying me to do it and I keep getting raises and they are satisfied with my work and value it to some degree. Therefore I must be worth what I am getting paid. By this company. It's all wierd. In any case, I have opened pandora's box. I am looking for a new job. My current company doesn't value me as a person, yet still pay me as if they do. Short sighted B, C and D people don't understand that the real value of a human being is not the money but the person. In society we slap all kinds of labels on people and place values on them and many times it is because of this need to make money. Or the perceived need to make money for the owners of a company even if we are not the owners of the company. Many people value themselves by the company they keep and the position they hold. One of my problems with seeking new employment is I don't value position or title, I value my contribution to other human beings. So i'm struggling with this a little.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:57 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

July 25, 2006

We fly when we are having fun!

Here I am talking about TIME again. haha. I looked at my blog tonight and realized it's been about a week since I posted something and from a lifetime of training I said, "Time flies when you're having fun!" But then I instinctively knew that it wasn't time flying at all. Time as we measure it never speeds up or slows down. Time is consistent and steady. We fly through time like space; sometimes faster, sometimes slower. Then we say time is fast or slow, but it is really our own speed we are measuring, not Time's. So, my discovery is that I've been very busily training, working, bikeshop, training, sleeping, eating and doing it all over again day after day with no blogging mixed in. I tended to leave it until the end of the day and I've been too tired at night to sit in front of the computer. My priority right now is training for triathlons, so other things have a lower priority. I'm not complaining though, because I'm getting in great shape and on Sunday morning I actually swam a whole mile with the front crawl. cool. When I started swimming I could only swim one length of the pool without being exhausted. So I'm improving. Tonight I did a brick workout with a 13 mile bike followed by a 3 mile run followed by a 13 mile bike. Now I know I'm doing better than when I started. And I am not dead from my experience. I am more alive and excited about life. It's fun and feels good to get the blood going. I guess we really fly through life when we are having fun. So right now I'm slowing down and reflecting things and enjoying listening to the rain come down. Fast and then slow, then fast, then slow. Now a hard rain and strong wind.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:45 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Triathlons"

Category "motivation"

July 17, 2006

Priorities

If a person wants to make a change in life the usual place to start is with the choices we make. It seems like a logical place to start because we hear over and over that we are supposed to make better and better choices. I've even said it myself, I've written about. Yes, better and better choices are a good idea, but often it's hard to make any other choice than the one we have to make at the time. Why is it so hard to change our choices? I think it's because we have not addressed the motivation behind the choices we make. Every choice has a motive, whether we see it or not. The motive is something that moves us to make the choice.
If I choose one thing over another, I could say that one of those things was a higher priority than the other one. Choosing one over the other was motivated by my priorities. One thing seemed more important to me for whatever reason. It seems more logical to me that if we want to change ourselves, we should focus on our priorities instead of our choices. If our priorities change, then our choices will follow. Right now training is a high priority for me. So it's easier to be motivated to train. I want to do it. I choose training over watching TV or many other activities, even most of my artwork is put on hold because I feel it's important to get the proper training in if I want to compete in these sporting events. The idea here is that I'm not struggling with choices between doing this or that, I'm having a higher priority in life and the choices seem obvious, almost like not choosing at all. Resistance is futile, but change the need/purpose/motive/priority behind the choices and there is no resistence fighting back.
Of course then there are also no excuses because we are setting our priorities, saying 'This is important to me."

Posted by carl1236 at 10:23 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Triathlons | motivation

Category "Attitude"

Category "Triathlons"

July 16, 2006

Rest

Energy levels increase with a day of rest. Legs get restless. Spirit gets restless. It is a sign of getting stronger with each breaking down. There are many successes in life that follow exhaustion and break-down of strength. Sometimes we just need a break, to let our muscles rebuild and our spirits regain the vision. Maybe a new vision, a stronger vision.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:48 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Triathlons

Category "Attitude"

Category "Triathlons"

July 13, 2006

How does the language we use effect how we feel?

Tonight I went to the Y to run indoors on the track where fourteen laps is equal to one mile. I ran 100 laps. 100 laps indoors on a tiny track is a very interesting experience. For the first two miles I was feeling every ache and pain possible I think. But then I loosened up and it felt good. somewhere at about 45 minutes of running I started zoning out and had to refocus to keep count and to keep the pace up. Then I picked up the pace for the last ten minutes to make sure I ran my desired distance in the allotted time. I did. I know I ran over seven miles tonight.
As I was walking around the track after my run, I was thinking about how this experience felt. It was good, but my immediate reaction was, "Man that sucked!" But that's not how I really felt. I know it hard, even really hard, but it didn't suck. It felt good. So why was I tempted to say it sucked. It's a psychological thing. I didn't like that line of thought, So I changed what I was saying. Instead I said, "That was an interesting experience! But good." I wanted to quit many times while running tonight but I didn't let myself. So that's one reason it was good, and didn't suck.
Another great thing about this run was that I got to feel what seven miles on an indoor track felt like. It also helped me to bring my focus back.
While I was running it seemed like it was going on and on forever. Four other runners came and went while I was still running. But I did it. So what would have happened if I walked around saying how much it sucked. Would it effect my attitude or motivation? I'm thinking yes, it would change how I feel. suckiness is relative. So a good attitude is part of a good experience.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:25 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | Triathlons

Category "Attitude"

June 28, 2006

Peace on Earth

By proximity, not proxy.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:13 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

June 27, 2006

I'm starting to wonder if this model works

I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible to run a non-profit business with volunteers. There are not enough volunteers putting in the hours to do the work to make it work. Maybe it's possible with the right volunteer leaders who can rally the volunteers and take charge of all the different program areas. This is one of the problems I saw before I took over the reigns. But now that I'm here, I'm failing at doing what is necessary to make it work. I need to be the leader that gets people involved and active in the organization or there is no organization and we haven't made it off the endangered list.
I guess I'm an idealist and think the idea is cool, but in reality, it seems that people really want the "what's in it for me?" part. Now let's get down to the space issue. In today's world, there is little space available for next to nothing for an operation like this. Small self-funded non-profits like this keep getting forced out of their market by high rents. It's going to happen to our bike shop too. But the trouble is, everywhere we look, building owners want to give us half the space for twice the money. And that's generous. The trouble is we would never survive with just a volunteer operation. So we would have to forget about the 'charitable organization' part of our non-profit and focus on making money, which would change the whole look and feel and mission of our organization. Then it becomes more like a business and there is no real incentive or 'goodwill' feeling in volunteers to staff and run a business just for money.
It's too bad our society revolves around money. It lives and breathes by monitary value. Maybe what we need is a benefactor who believes in what we do and is willing to donate a large enough space to us to do our thing. I don't know if this model of a bike shop can really work. To make it work like other non-profit bike shops, we have to hire an executive director who gets paid a large amount of money to make it all happen.
I'm still evaluating what a workable solution might be. It's very interesting though.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:18 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

June 26, 2006

Now it's raining, I don't have to mow

Haha, now it's raining and I can't mow the lawn. And I didn't do my training tonight because I was avoiding getting wet. But I'm sticking to my plan of slowing down. Tomorrow is yard and garden day. After work of course.
There are a lot of choices we can make in life aren't there?
Today I was reading a very good article on the Buddhist teachings about time and space. Though some of their conclusions contradict what they were trying to say about time, the end result was the same. Though it is almost incomprehensible, I do not believe that time changes at all. Our perception of time changes and we change. Matter changes. Solid, Liquid, Gas, Plasma. Mass in a state of change. Our measurement of time is arbitrary based on some marking off of our change. We say we are growing older, but we are not, we are merely changing from one form to another. We call it aging, but the matter is changing. We say the rotations of the planets in a certain pattern equals one year, yet it could be called a week or a month. It's just a name for some other forces moving and changing.
In Buddhist teachings its desirable to be able to see all of eternity in one instant. It's because there is only one time. It's been said that we cannot go back and change time, and it's true, we cannot change time, and we cannot undo change and transformation from one form of mass to another unless the circumstances are right. Aging is a curious question then. It's change. It may be prewired into our systems to change in this way, but it's only a matter of discovery to find a way to alter the change.
And so all things in life are change. And it's all happening right now.
The grass is getting longer, not because of time, but because of change. It's changing, growing. There are specific reasons and conditions for it to grow. We could apply a time measurement to it, but it's not growing in a week, it's growing and changing right now. When I cut it tomorrow night, it will change again. Time is irrelevent. Change happens regardless of the time.

Posted by carl1236 at 09:57 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

June 24, 2006

Communication

Communication doesn't just "happen." Relationships don't just "happen." Things don't just "happen." Everything is a creation of human beings "doing and creating" something. If things just happen we are all victims of what happens next. Yet we all create what happens next and want to blame someone or something else for what happens to us as a result of what happens in life.
I think good communication is essential in all relationships. It helps us relate and know how to help each other. And it's something ongoing. Something we build on. Something we earn through trust and learn from. There is heart-burning honesty and trust in good communication. It's very difficult to get to this point but well worth it.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:58 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Bicycles"

June 22, 2006

Everything slows down

Everything slows down when you are carrying a bin full of books on the back of your bicycle. As I was riding home I realized that this is probably the maximum weight this old dumpster bike could handle on the backend. Any kind of side-to-side motion in pedalling sent the bike wobbling. Then my back tire was really low.
Going up the Smith Avenue bridge was fine, just really, really slow. I just kept a nice steady pace and the workhorse made it.
I can get the books home, but now I have to find a place to put them, haha. It was nice to take a really slow ride home tonight. It gave me time to think. The added weight basically enabled me to have this use of my time.

Posted by carl1236 at 07:58 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | Bicycles

Category "Attitude"

Category "Triathlons"

Category "motivation"

June 19, 2006

Discouragement

So tonight, just six or seven weeks into my triathlon training course, I became a little discouraged about my swimming. I lost my spirit or morale because I could not swim a continous 200 meters, which was part of our exercise tonight. The most I had done up until this point was about 25 meters, or one length of the pool. But tonight I accomplished four lengths of the pool without stopping to rest. I am a little sore right now, but I did it. That is a small progress, so it encouraged me. I think that sometimes when we lose spirit, it's like losing hope. It's like giving up because the obstacle seems too great. But tonight I learned to push just a little more each time I tried. First it was three lengths of the pool, a ten second rest, followed by the fourth length. On my next attempt I did three full lengths, then only a five-second rest. Then I did all four lengths of the pool. No I did not make it to a half-mile swim yet, and I didn't even swim 200 meters continuously, but I did improve. I think when we are discouraged, it is the perfect time to push a little harder, to remember that by going just a bit more beyond our known limits, we get stronger and better. It's a hard way when things seem overwhelming, but I'll take any encouragement. It's better than giving up, or losing the heart to go on. Now I can't stop practicing, but have to try harder to make noticible improvements.
And I'm off to bed so I have the energy to run and swim tomorrow. hehe. It's a tough schedule where discouragement has no teeth. Our failures fade to the back as we work on the task at hand and try to push a little more than we thought we had.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:07 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | Triathlons | motivation

Category "Attitude"

June 09, 2006

Karma and the reason we do things

The other day I had a chance to get a cool bike frame and some other parts and it would have been totally cool for me to do this. The owner of the material was going to scrap it and later he said I could have anything of value off the bikes. I was doing the scrapping, which I wrote about the other day. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt in my heart that I couldn't keep any of it. The main reason I was doing the scrapping was to help out Lester when he was in a bind. It wasn't for bike parts. It was to save his butt when he was under pressure and to help him with his livelyhood. So instead I am bringing the few good parts I got down to the bike shop to donate. I felt guilty because keeping any of the parts was going against my original intent of giving to another person. Recently I've been looking at original intent, the heart of our actions. This relates to Karma. Too often though we lie to ourselves and justify our actions because we want something. Our desires cloud over our heart's intentions. I feel better now and it all worked out better than before. I helped Lester out, and he was thankful. Now I have restored my purpose in doing good for the sake of doing good, not for a reward at the end. The reward is in the process of doing not the end result or recognition.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:46 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

June 06, 2006

One of a Kind High School Graduation

Today I attended the High School Graduation of the Creative Arts High School in St. Paul. It's an alternative High School. Basically it's a small school with a small personal atmosphere where students are accepted for who they are and taught to bring out the best of who they are. Over the past couple of years I've seen some great things from students there, and now they are graduating! And the ceremony is like none I've been too. Instead of long, drawn out speaches by school officials, we saw and listened to performances by students who have now entered the 'real world.' I have a strong sense these young adults will do ok in life.
Last fall I purchased a finely-crafted small pottery cup from one of the students and I'm reminded every time I drink from it that I'm drinking from a cup of hope, a cup of what life is made of. The art infused in these student's curriculum and lives is also the art they will carry into everything they do in life. More high schools should be like this and more students should be so lucky to have a staff and teachers so dedicated to teaching. Their graduation ceremony was wonderful and different than traditional high schools, but then again, learning is not about worshiping existing knowledge but questioning it, and these students have done that. (a quote I borrowed from the ceremony) Best wishes Class of 2006!

Posted by carl1236 at 05:52 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Triathlons"

Category "motivation"

June 01, 2006

My Goal of the Summer

Today I decided on my goal for my first Triathlon. Before I just had the vague idea that I wanted to try a Tri. And I wanted to do it after my Triathlon training course was over at the beginning of August. I reasoned that would give me enough time to train and get in good enough shape that I wouldn't drop out of the event. I can be realistic too. A person doesn't just wake up one day and say, "I'm going to do a triathlon," and then throws on her running shoes, grabs a bike and goes for it. Well, someone might, but I don't think I would actually go through with it unless I was prepared for it. And with this class I am learning how to prepare for it and working with a training plan to get me there. The plan however doesn't tell me how to improve my swimming so I can actually swim a half-mile. That I will have to figure out.
My first Triathlon will be the St. Paul Triathlon on Lake Phalen, August 20, 2006, 7:30am.
Swim: 1/2 mile
Bike: 20k
Run: 5k

I was told today that swimming 1/2 mile is like swimming 20 laps in the pool. non-stop. ah. sure. After swimming today I was a little discouraged because I could only swim one-and-one-half lengths of the pool without stopping! I have to tell you that this really is going WAY beyond my known limitations. A big question in my mind is, "Can I turn 1-1/2 lengths in the pool into 1/2 mile before August 20th?" Is this mission impossible?
Maybe I need to find a swimming coach. Or a therapist. But now I have a tangible goal, something to reach for. Now I can find what it will take to get there.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:23 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude | Triathlons | motivation

Category "Attitude"

Category "motivation"

May 27, 2006

Sweet_Exhaustion

Yesterday after I got home I was physically exhausted. I had done two
hard swimming workouts, one at lunchtime and one right after work. When
I swung by the bike shop to see how things were going, all I could do
was sit there and talk. It was a great feeling. Physical exhaustion is
much different from mental exhaustion where a person feels like doing
nothing, being non-motivated to do anything. I equate mental exhaustion
with that feeling of not wanting to do and not caring. But with
physical exhaustion I feel more like I want to do more, but am
pleasantly weak all over. And when something comes up I'm back in
motion, mainly due to an attitude of 'can do,' pushing beyond limits
of strength or energy. I think spiritual, mental energy is still going
strong and motivates us to keep going. Looking out of the shop door we
decided it was time to close up and get home. Dave rode off on his bike
and I rode off in the opposite direction toward home.
As I was pedaling I was amazed at how it felt on my muscles.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:50 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude | motivation

Category "Attitude"

May 14, 2006

Quality is an unfinished process

In August of 2005, about nine months ago, I talked about the lack of caring that I found in my volunteer activity. But actually after all this time, I have not accomplished changing anything. Today I was working at the shop and a new customer was supposed to be returning today to pick up a bike a couple volunteers had been setting up for her. So I decided to look it over to make sure it was ready. Here is what I discovered:

Front Derailer:
Not tight on the seat tube and too high.
Not shifting into the large chain ring.
cable end frayed.
Bottom Bracket loose.
Back wheel out of true, rubbing on brake pad.
Front wheel off center, spokes rubbing on fork on one side. Washers were used on one side to adjust for a speedometer device but it was over-compensated.
Front brake too loose and brake lever went all the way to the handle bar.
Both wheels had tube stems sticking out at a severe angle.
Front wheel rim strip was broken.

I fixed most of these problems and told her to bring the bike back for free repairs if she runs into any further problems. I used to look at these issues as a matter of 'not caring' by those doing the work. But now I'm thinking it's a matter of 'not knowing' how to fix a bike so it's really fixed and not admitting to 'not knowing'

Because A person really would not send a bike out in this condition knowing it's not fixed properly would they? I don't think this is the case because these people do feel good about the work they do. So this is my failure. I have not implemented a good education program or quality checking program for volunteers work, for everyone's work. Everyone's skill levels should be brought up and checks have to be made. I want to buy a bike that actually works and is safe, so this has to be my focus this year.

Has it really been nine months since I discovered a quality control problem? It's alarming to me that I knew a problem existed and yet could do nothing to resolve it in an area that is potentially the most valuable part of our program. My attention was focused on so many other things that I lost sight of this. Now I realize that fixing this bike for the customer only solved the issue once and that it's an ongoing process that will need the most dedicated focus by many people, all the time.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:03 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

May 10, 2006

Going Blind and Knowing it

If I were going blind and knew that it was coming. I think I would try to see what I could, to draw what I have in my mind, to try to remember those faces I have come to know. In this sense, oh how I wish to be going blind as I live each day. To really see with intention of knowing and remembering each sight, each color, each person so we never forget. I do not think I am there yet. My sight is not yet that clear. I may still be blind. I know it. Oh how I wish to gain that sight! Knowing this I think I will try harder to see what I can, to draw what I can, to remember what I can each day.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:33 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

May 03, 2006

Memories

I'm watching a Korean Drama right now on AZN TV called Winter Sonata. It's very interesting. One of the main characters was in a tragic accident, presumed dead by all of his friends, but was really alive but had amnesia. After the accident his mother took the opportunity to change his name and take him to the U.S. He came back to Korea and met his old girlfriend but was living as a different person, and did not remember her. Then he was in an accident again and started regaining his old memories. This would have been more intersting I think if she would have lost her memory also and they still ended up together.

It brings up a good question. How much do our memories make us who we are?

Posted by carl1236 at 11:03 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 30, 2006

Hwang Sun-won ideas

I haven't read much from "The Book of Masks," by Hwan Sun-won, but I already like his writing. He seems to focus on common human attitudes through their reactions to life. It's suggested in the forward that he did not attack the problems in the world directly but by showing honest reactions by the characters to what is going on around them. Much of his writing seems to deal with the commanalities we all have as human beings and attempts to bridge the gaps between us instead of focusing on the separations we create. I want to read more. And I can see why he is considered one of the best short story writers in Korean history.
In the introduction Martin Holman says about Hwang, "Hwang approches his labor aware of the loneliness, depravity, squalo, and brutality in the sould of man, but, recognizing that there is also great strength and virtue in the heart of human bonds, he strives to forge the links that save the human spirit from the void."
"Now the soldier worked hard alongside the farmer." It's very good.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:08 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 25, 2006

Melvin and the Car wash

Today I experienced something great; a bond or connection with Melvin. Melvin shows up at the bike shop every so often to keep his bike running. He's kind of eccentric and very interesting. Today after work I just ran into the shop to check the mail. The shop wasn't even supposed to be open, since our hours are short on Tuesdays. But as I was coming out to go home, Melvin rode up. We were talking about his pedials. I asked him if he needed something urgent and was willing to go back in and help him with whatever he needed but he said he was going to the car wash on Robert Street because they have a wash special for 50 cents. He wanted to powerwash the grease off his new crank that he got at the shop on Monday so he could put it in. He just came by the shop to see what was going on. He found me there. And so together we rode off. We both go in the same general direction so I said I would love to ride along with him. But we didn't go right to the car wash. First he wanted to show me this really sweet 3-speed bike he saw with mustache bars parked at a bike rack nearby. We checked it out and it was still there. It was nice! It was a brand new Sturmey Archer 3-speed hub on an old green Raleigh frame, with nice cream-colored plastic fenders and mustache handlebars. I loved it. We talked about that bike and the tenspeed next to it that had sawed off drop bars reversed to simulate mustache handlebars. Both bikes were nice but the three speed was cool. It even had a brooks saddle on it.
After the bike tour he wanted to show me a building that they were remodelling in downtown. I looked and he was telling me all about the good work they were doing and had me ride right up into the recessed doorway, "Go ahead, you can ride your bike right up in there so you can see inside, that's what I did." So I did and it was cool to experience what he did. I did see inside without getting off my bike.
Then we rode together down Robert Street to the car wash. It was only fifty cents and that's exactly what I had in my pocket. So I decided I'd also wash my bike to get all of the winter salt and grease off my bike. It worked. But another amazing thing was that someone had left a few quarters on the pay box so I paid my 50 cents and used 50 more cents to rinse my bike. Melvin used half of my rinse, switching it to soap, then paide another 50 cents for a high-pressure rinse. It worked great. Then he kept the rest of the quarters and we rode on together. He showed me a shortcut to the road I wanted to get home, then he turned and continued up Robert Street. As we were parting, he told me that he really appreciated the ride and the chance to get to know me better and that this is what happens when people get out of their cars. I like Melvin. He's very interesting. He showed me the cool bikes, the renovated building and the 50 cent car wash on Tuesdays. And now my bike is clean. Tonight was full of great experiences. And tomorrow I get to witnes Melvin change out his cranks. Pizza tomorrow night at the Depot, come on down and check it out.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:04 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 20, 2006

Bush in bed with Hu, while Macalester bans freedom of speech

Life is very strange. President Bush kisses Hu's butt because he doesn't understand the the true meaning of life. He apologizes for the outburst by a Falun Gong member, who supposedly doesn't understand. Life. Bush is not a true Christian. He doesn't know the meaning of Christ. It's funny how the Christian community has fallen for his lies. Strange how people believe lies before they believe love.
In a second note, Macalaster College cancelled the Chibaganza, marijuana festival, after stating that they support the student's right's to free speech and legitimately stating their desire to change the laws regarding marijuana use. It's too bad the college caved to the conservative desires and cancelled freedom of speech. Bush should have gone to bed with Macalester college officials too. They already agree on the need to squash true freedom.
Bush apologizes to Hu for the embarrassing Macalaster students who want to speak out. They unfortunately talked to the newspapers, so he had to cancel their event. And America sees nothing wrong with this. It just hums along while Macalaster College officials sleep with Bush. It's all in the family. Hush. We should not speak of this publicly. It could be seen as an embarrassment to the administration.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:47 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 18, 2006

Transitions and growing up

It's difficult knowing how to handle transitions. As we grow up ther eare definately transitions between childhood and adulthood. There are also transitions between student and professional.

Posted by carl1236 at 12:00 AM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Category "Life"

April 14, 2006

Running a volunteer non-profit corporation

Running any business takes a lot of time. We have a non-profit 501c3 organization with a board of directors who are responsible for the welfare of the corporation. I'm the President of the corporation. It's a real business but none of the board members get paid. We are a volunteer run, non-profit. So what volunteer would be crazy enough to run a business on the side with no compensation? Because most of us have to have real jobs also. We do it because we believe in what we have here and feel like it's a good thing to keep going. We're not generating a lot of revenue but we are touching a lot of lives and making people more self-sufficient and empowered. The low-cost services and products we provide are only part of the benefit of this organization. A major benefit is the learning that goes on inside our walls. But it's still crazy because it takes a lot of time. Volunteering is like that. Sometimes we put in a lot of our life's energy, passion and time into a volunteer activity, not to mention our own resources. Why do we do it? Maybe it's just because it's a good thing to do.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:58 PM | Comments (3) | Attitude | Life

Category "Attitude"

April 12, 2006

The End

I just finished watching the Korean Drama, Emperor of the Sea. The message seemed to be, If you compromise your love, even though you gain the world you lose. The series is over, and in the end the bad guy won, all the good guys fought to the death and the woman who Bo Go loved escaped with his son alive. Basically she and BoGo's baby son were the only ones to survive the slaughter. Did it make sense? It didn't prove anything except that the bad guys won and the trusting, loving ones all were murdered. This is the way of this world it seems. But I agree with the statement that even if we win we lose. There is something about power and force that corrupts our hearts. We can gain a lot in this world by taking advantage of others, lieing, cheating, steeling, killing, etc. but what good is it in the long run? We have already compromised who we are and lost out on life. We are the most dead when we lie to ourselves, pretending we are the most alive. Do those corrupted by power really think they can take it with them beyond the end? What gain is it? It's shallow and meaningless and so short lived.
Overall, I was impressed with the quality of the series, but I didn't like the ending. Yang Kim should have died instead of taking over, and Yoem Jang should have turned from evil instead of killing his best friend from youth. And the young emperor boy who was put on the throne, surrounded by corrupt nobles, oh what a sad, manipulated life he will lead. Nothing about this ending was satisfying to me. The woman who escaped lost everything and everyone she loved, but I suppose it's a sign of hope that she gained a son from the man she loved. Still, it was a very sad ending. The end.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:58 PM | Comments (3) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 11, 2006

"I did not even know him"

There are several things coming together at once for me with the theme, "I did not even know him." Meaning, "I thought I knew who that person that was so close to me was, but I didn't really know anything about him." First, I have been watching a Korean Drama on TV. It's 50 episodes total and is now nearing the end. I believe there are only two episodes left to see. In this Drama, or soap-opera style epic series, mortal enemies can suddenly join forces to fight a third enemy or be sentenced to death in one episode and be leading the country in another. In many cases what is so obvious to the viewer as a lie is totally unseen and unexpected to the people involved. It's the way they write these things in soaps. It's why they call it drama. The drama is exagerated and what infuriates us also drives the ratings up.
The second thing with the theme, "I did not even know him," is the disturbing movie I watched last night, Ted Bundy. The serial killer, Ted Bundy was directly responsible for more than 150 deaths and was eventually caught and executed in the electric chair. When his long-time girlfriend finally realized that Ted really did commit all of those terrible crimes, she left him, crying and shaking her head. She later said, "I did not even know him. How could I have been so close to someone and not even know him?" I can't answer that except that Ted was very adept at saying what others wanted to hear. I was disturbed by this movie, as I should have been. It was intended to wake people up.

Many times when we feel like we've been betrayed, we look back and feel like it was all a sham. We want to be trusting of other people and have other people trust us. But we can be disappointed when things don't go that way.
Now the third thing is a process of discovering another person's true soul. It's easy to not really know another person if we don't connect with them on a deeper level. That happens when we don't value another person enough. In reverse of the Ted Bundy and the Korean Drama idea of, "I did not even know him," there is the person we underestimate and discover later they were much, much more capable than we gave them credit for. This is why it is important to talk to each other and open a dialogue. It is the great conversation of souls. When we value someone and help increase their capabilities and trust them to do it, even if it's not the way we would do something, we won't have to say, "I did not even know him." Underestimating and undervaluing another human being is disappointment to both parties. There are better ways to communicate and enhance each other's lives.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:59 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 07, 2006

Elusive but vital

This will be another strange entry. I want to tell you about Terry. Terry is a homeless guy who has put in thousands of hours volunteering in the bike shop. This week we paid him for working the whole week with the other shop staff to teach a class for high school students. As I tried to take his photo he abruptly got up and walked directly into my camera, thwarting my attempt to photgraph him. Oh well, next time. Actually Terry is a great guy, and I wish more people could be like him in that he doesn't want or seek attention for what he's doing, he just wants to live and do what he likes doing. Terry is vital, because Terry IS community involvement. Those with grander aspirations need not apply.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:40 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 05, 2006

Mr. Magoo

I don't know how he did it, but he went everywhere blind and went through countless near-death experiences totally unaware of any danger. He knew no fear because he did not see any danger. And somehow he continued living. I think a person can capture this kind of fearless living not by being blind, but by being wide awake, more aware. Then just go on doing what you know to be good and right and just. The more aware I become the less fear I have of doing that.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:29 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

April 04, 2006

The Reality of Being

Crap! I exist! Now what!? In the Reality of Being, life situations dictate life. Yeah, dictate. Like Hitler. Too often we condemn others and consider them our enemies. Life is like Hitler when we think we are just doing our jobs, and not really loving each other. Do you realize the reality of being is realizing the reality of being alive? Being alive is a reality that many of us don't realize. We go through live unfulfilled and unrealized. Life sucks. But it doesn't have to be that way. Isolationism isn't the anwer. We cannot claim ignorance. We are guilty. We are the cause of our own problems. We are indicted and have no recource but to serve time. The reality of being is that we are the cause of our reality. So what do we do about it? Comedians make us laugh, because we can relate with somethign they say. We can relate because we are dealing with the human condition! It's the reality of being alive. The reality of being. Life happens. Life is real. It's not going away. So what does it mean? Don't be a pig. Live life and live life in love for other people. Chang the world by love, not fear. This is the reality of being. Don't live in fear. Fear is the reality of not-being. Love is the reality of being.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:56 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 26, 2006

Blast Belly Fat While you watch TV

A magazine article proclaimed, "Yes - it really works!" Well, what really works is doing the exercise consistently, not the watching TV part. This is the hard part for most people when it comes to doing things; motivation. Sometimes it is so hard to 'want' to do the things that will achieve the results we say we want. This is why many fitness plans fail and there's a huge market for second-hand fitness equipment. If we don't change our inner habits then we don't have the motivation or the stamina to continue an exercise program to change our outer, physical habits.
An inner habit of wanting to exercise and liking it is a good place to begin the exercise program. Then it doesn't matter if you are in front of the TV or running through the woods, although fresh air exercise is contageous and feels so good. Just do it regularly and do it because it feels good. This attitude is habit forming. Then the focus is not on doing something miserable to reach a goal, but enjoying the exercise and feeling good as part of life, and the end result is achieved without a battle.

Posted by carl1236 at 07:20 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 25, 2006

I don't know what I don't know

I can't say what I don't know. But many people like to tell you what they know about what they don't know. What they are really trying to do is justify their beliefs. We all do it. But this is one reason why Jesus taught us that it's important, no, really important that we are humble and not arrogant. Because, at any moment we could be a hyporcrite. Just when we think we are "right" we experience we are wrong. Sometimes we look back on things and realize how foolish we have been. That is wisdom. Oh the joys of wisdom! If only we could be wise before we open our big mouths! Why do we do this? I think it's a matter of wanting to feel in 'control.' We all want personal power and control, especially when we feel like the world is out of control. We want knowledge and power and control over our lives and our destiny.
But just when we think we know, and swear we are 'right' we see an alternative view. Life is fluid, not static. For instance, there is this popular Thai video that shows a traditional Buddist deity doing the moon dance. But in the traditional sense, the character performs a slow, specific dance to tell a story. But there is a new modern story being told here.
I like this story. It's fresh. renewed. Life is not static. That is why I am constantly humbled. I don't know what I don't know. I realize this and it's a good thing.

Posted by carl1236 at 10:40 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 24, 2006

A beautiful day today

A beautiful day to take off from work early and get some things done at home. I cleaned, watched my Korean Drama and even took a nap! That was awesome! Good for my mental health.

I'm hosting a lunch tomorrow and it'll be a fun day also. Then I have the job of designing and building my display cases for my eggs to put them on display in a coffee shop in Downtown St. Paul this next month. So much to do. So today was good day to get a jump on the weekend!

I hope everyone had a great week!

Posted by carl1236 at 10:50 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 22, 2006

Elephant Dung Paper: When poop is beautiful

I just bought a notebook made entirely of Elephant dung and paddy paper pulped to perfection in Sri Lanka by Maximus. Of course it has to be distributed in the US by someone named Mr. Ellie Pooh. Their card says:
Eat -> Dung -> Boil -> Pulp -> Paper

None of the paper smells or looks anything like it's origins though, haha, and it's very nice, thick paper hand bound into a book. I don't know what I'm going to do with this book of recycled dung paper, but it's cool. Given an elephant's diet though, I can see why this paper is fibrous.

Even poop can be beautiful.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:21 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

Elephant Dung Paper: When poop is beautiful

I just bought a notebook made entirely of Elephant dung and paddy paper pulped to perfection in Sri Lanka by Maximus. Of course it has to be distributed in the US by someone named Mr. Ellie Pooh. Their card says:
Eat -> Dung -> Boil -> Pulp -> Paper

None of the paper smells or looks anything like it's origins though, haha, and it's very nice, thick paper hand bound into a book. I don't know what I'm going to do with this book of recycled dung paper, but it's cool. Given an elephant's diet though, I can see why this paper is fibrous.

Even poop can be beautiful. Make something new.

Posted by carl1236 at 11:21 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Art"

Category "Attitude"

Category "Korean"

March 19, 2006

God as Place

Today I created this piece of 'word-art' that displays God as a sense of Place. God is everywhere. God is my life. God is my hometown, where I come from and where I currently live...

Posted by carl1236 at 09:42 PM | Comments (0) | Art | Attitude | Korean

Category "Attitude"

March 18, 2006

Computer problems

I think I'm getting tired of working with computers. Today I went to help fix a problem on my friend's computer and it took me 7 hours to get it all back up and running the way he had it before it crashed, with data restored. I also had to call my brother for tech support, which I was very thankful for. The best part of this whole experience for me, was that he can now get his work done, where before he was out of business. The other equally good thing that happened was that I got to meet his mother, who is such a sweetheart! She made food for me all day long, with a couple of great surprise treats. I'm a little full now. Therefore it was a great day, but it had nothing to do with my enjoyment of computer work. I wasn't really enjoying that part of it. So maybe I'll find something low-tech to do with the rest of my life.

Posted by carl1236 at 08:52 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 13, 2006

A Local Celebrity Now?

Haha, here I am. This appeared in Sunday's paper. I'm famous now:

http://www.startribune.com/389/story/296216.html

It's interesting to note that they used a different picture in the online version than they used in the printed paper on Sunday. That's me riding up the Ohio Hill, one of my commute routes and a tough ride no matter how many times I ride up it.

Posted by carl1236 at 07:48 PM | Comments (1) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 10, 2006

Something new and fun

I really had fun this morning! I took the day off and got up way earlier than I'm used to, met Mike at the bikeshop, picked up 6 bikes the volunteers had fixed up on Wednesday night, and we then hauled them off to a Middle School where Jerry teaches. It was awesome!
We set up cones in the school yard near the ball diamond, and ran relay bike races. There were six teams of about 6 kids. When one member rode down and returned he/she would hand off the bike and helmet to the next team member in line and they would go at it full speed. Well, not quite full speed if your bike is in a low gear and you don't know how to shift! Haha, he made good time though with his legs spinning furiously the whole way.
Then 45 minutes later the two classes of students went back into the school building and Mike and I hauled the bikes back to the shop. That was it. A fast and fun event! They really had fun, I could tell by the way they were acting, but at first, we heard a lot of, "Do we have to do this?" And there was one girl who came to school in shorts and sandles! I have declared it Spring already, but I still dress for the weather, haha, but evidently her attitude is a declaration of Summer!
When they all went inside, they were all excited and talking and thanking us for bringing the bikes there and doing this race. We waved goodbye to them, loaded up and left. But one thing that struck me was how such a simple thing can create so much positive energy and enthusiasm! Too often in life we are stuck in a rut of ruthless rules and decorum that prohibits trying something new. Not so with Jerry. He's a good teacher. He got parents there to help out, got us to bring bikes, got another teacher to bring her class outside and they did something out of the ordinary. The kids showed some good teamwork, by holding the bike while the other person put the bike helmet on, and they were all exited when they went back into the school. Who knows, maybe they learned something today with all that buzz up there! Good times.
And I learned to appreciate the people I have around me more and am happy to know them. Thanks Mike and Jerry!

Posted by carl1236 at 05:25 PM | Comments (0) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 09, 2006

A ride in the smog

Yesterday I rode my bike from Downtown St. Paul to the wastewater treatment plant for a meeting. I decided to race a train that was leaving St. Paul on the tracks along shepard/warner road. I was really pushing hard and when I arrived at the plant, I was breathing hard and my heart was pounding and my legs were like jello. But I made it in 16 minutes! Of course I had to cool down then before my meeting, but it was ok. Then on the way back to my office I took it easy and enjoyed the view of the river.
When I checked my email I discovered I had an air quality alert for the day. Due to the low winds and the fog, more microscopic particles than normal were just hanging in the air. The alert said for people with heart problems or lung conditions should refrain from going outside and reduce their activities. They recommended for athletes to take it easy. Too late. Now my lungs contain a lot of some microscopic polution.
A ride in the smog, how nice. This is the world we have created for ourselves, how nice. One of our first steps in fixing a problem is to stop creating it. If a boat is leaking it does no good to plug holes in the hull if we are drilling more as we go! How many holes can we drill before we realize we cannot possibly plug them all, ever?

Posted by carl1236 at 10:32 PM | Comments (2) | Attitude

Category "Attitude"

March 07, 2006

Creating Systems

Here is a way to cope with things in life:
create systems, not end results.

Instead of creating a rulebook, create tools that are useful and knowledge about why things work the way they do.
Example:
Intead of saying I need 50 bikes repaired for this by this deadline, why not say that every bike that comes in the door gets a tag put on it, which has a repair checklist. Any volunteer can start with any bike and work on it, checking off the item as it's checked/repaired. The next person that grabs that bike knows where it was left and they can do what they are able off the list. When a person finishes all items on a repair tag, she can notify the shop manager for inspection, or moves the bike to the 'done' isle. The Shop manager also goes through the bikes on a regular basis and looks for bikes with completed tags, and/or spot checks bikes, then inspects and signs off on the bike. Then as we go, someone says, "I need 6 bikes for this donation," and we pick out 6 completed bikes, or mark the tags for the project. Then progress can be easily determined on those bikes. In an operation like this, it's always an ongoing process of fixihng bikes regardless of what they are for. If there is a system to handle the workflow, it gets done. They get fixed. Ok, so maybe volunteers aren't skillled enough to keep working on bikes, then the system becomes, "if you are an experienced volunteer, don't do it alone, find someone who wants to learn and pair up!" Amazing things will happen.
I know people want things to be finished, so we can say that we 'arrived' somewhere, but often the process never ends. For example, we may wish to win the lottery so our problems are over. But if we are poor money managers and we win the lottery, it doesn't absolve us of managing money, it only makes matters more complicated and larger scale. We'll still blow it with a greater amount. Having more money doesn't improve our process and we get into bigger problems and waste more money. Creating a process of doing things is beneficial. Processess are not rigid, but problem solving tools.
Jaak and I were talking the other day about training and motivation. He made a good point, that we are often motivated by a goal. True, it's helpful to have goals to work toward, but a process of improving health is also good. For instance, I will eat fruits and vegetibles on a regular basis and exercise daily. Then when an event c