Lost Forest After Dark

Previewing the Gopher's football schedule back in September, I predicated a 7-5 season and said I wasn't expecting a Rose Bowl but wanted to see improvement. No more 55-0 losses to end the season. So the Gophers ended up 6-6 with only a 12-0 season ending loss. Is that improvement? No.

Basically the Gophers came close to my prediction. If they win the Illinois game, they would have been 7-5. My problem is that the Illinois game was extremely winnable, as was the Wisconsin game. In fact, the Iowa and Penn State losses were to teams that weren't that good either. The bottom line is that the Gophers were mediocre in a bad league, losing games to teams that are going to get trounced in upcoming Bowl games.

The Gopher's offense was putrid and got worse as the season wore on. No offensive touchdowns against South Dakota State. Shut outs against Penn State and Iowa and a garbage touchdown against Ohio State. The last two games were practically unwatchable: Poor offensive scheming, a bad offensive line, a quarterback who couldn't hit an open receiver, and receivers who dropped the ball when it did get to them. Adam Weber took three steps back in his quality of play this year and new Offensive Coordinate Jed Fisch demonstrated no ability to put a game plan together or to coach up his players.

The Defense seemed to play better at the end of the season, but the last 11 quarters were against Redshirt Freshmen quarterbacks who were thrust into their new roles. Time and time again the defense couldn't get off the field and basically if an opposing team needed a big play, they were able to get it. If the offense gets a D, the defense gets a C-.

Coach Tim Brewster is getting a lot of flack and the question of his future is getting a lot of play. Athletic Director Maturi didn't exactly give him a lot of support last week and I know for a fact that Brewster has more than his share of detractor's among University administrators. Although a decent recruiter, Brewster has shown no coaching ability, either from getting the most from his players or putting a game plan together to responding to game situations. He's a lot of bluster with not a lot to back it up. The problem is people are starting to see through his bluster. Sunday Brewster said he was happy with the progress of his team. If that's true, he's the only one.

I don't think the University will fire Brewster nor unfortunately should they. Three years is too quick to dump a coach and Brewster needs one more year to see if can really put this together. I would keep him on a short lease however and pull the trigger quickly if there is no improvement. Firing Brewster now would mean a couple more years of turmoil, plus a $800,000 buyout. Fortunately I am not sure Coach Brewster will be around much longer anyway. Word is that former Denver coach Mike Shanahan will have his pick of a number of NFL coaching jobs and that Brewster could follow him back to the NFL. That may be good in the long run but would mean the U would be looking for a coach in February.

So as it has been for the last 40 years, the Gophers end on a disappointing note, the football program is in trouble, the future looks bleak with no end in site. At least we have Gopher Hockey. MN Timberwolves. MN Wild. Oh never mind. When do pitchers and catchers report to Fort Myers?

I've given up sugar and sweets cold turkey until Thanksgiving. It's been surprisingly easy to do. I think after a couple of pieces of pumpkin pie, I will continue with my "sugar fast." Let's celebrate with a random top 10:

1. Loveless Love -- The Feelies
2. Black Hole -- She & Him
3. The Prisoner -- The Clash
4. Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band -- The Beatles
5. The Cities Are Burning -- Rev. F.D. Fitzpatrick
6. Like A Soldier -- Johnny Cash
7. Clementine -- Decemberists
8. Bossa Nova Baby -- Elvis Presley
9. Celebrated Summer -- Husker Du
10. Smash the Mirror (live) -- The Who

Bonus: Can't Hold On -- Cheap Trick

That was a little different. Hey Big Mak, I think I might do a story out of this one. Only wrinkle will be to incorporate SPLHCB into the mix.

What's your top 10?

Zach Grienke deservedly won the 2009 Cy Young even though he pitched for the woeful Kansas City Royals, winning 16 games.

It has come out that Grienke is not only a great pitcher but uses sabermetrics to help him approach batters. The guy uses his brawn and his brains.

So if you are a Major League Baseball player, making millions of dollars, awarded the highest honor for your position, and obviously extremely bright what else could you ask for? How about engaged to a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader?

Well done sir. Well done.

The family is suddenly become hooked on Glee. Witty writing, goofy characters, song and dance numbers. Sounds like a winning formula. Here's your random top 10:

1. Canary - Liz Phair
2. A Song for You - Gram Parsons
3. You Make It Easy - Golden Smog
4. Champaign Supernova - Oasis
5. Cool Blues - Charlie Parker
6. The Neighbors - Jonathan Richman
7. Tired of being Alone - Al Green
8. Who By Fire - Leonard Cohen
9. War on War - Wilco
10. Hound Dog - Elvis Presley

Bonus: Dog for Fire - Pixies

Seven solo artists and a wide range of styles. Also at least one song from every decade since the 1940s! Beat that! What's your top 10?

Responding to the Star Tribune's Katherine Kersten could easily fill a blogger's screen for a year and I typically have ignored her. But this past Sunday's screed against gay marriage is just too delicious to pass up. It's no surprise Kerstin is writing about her opposition to gay marriage. Gays probably rank right up with there with scary Muslims and the downfall of today's culture as tried and true Kersten columns.

I found it interesting that Kersten in her opening paragraph has to backtrack a little on gay marriage. She admits that if a married couple asks "how does gay marriage directly impact my own hetero-marriage?" she can't point out any good examples. Part of this is a realization that we've had gay marriage now for a number of years in some states (including next door Iowa) and all the doom and gloom predicted by the gay marriage opponents have not come to pass (much like we have yet to see a Islamic-centered agenda from Congressman Keith Ellison that KK was so worried about).

Doom and gloom won't work because we have too much evidence that gay marriage really has no impact on how we live our everyday lives. So Kersten has to fall back on philosophy. Kersten's main argument against gay marriage is that marriage is an institution needed to create families. In other words, marriage is reserved for those who can procreate. Here's the kicker quote: "Marriage channels men's and women's sexual attraction into productive ends, and harnesses the male sex drive by binding men to the mothers of their children."

No word on whether or not a couple's marriage can be revoked if for some reason they were not able to produce children or if there is some sort of contract a couple signs when getting a marriage license that states that they will produce x number of children over the course of their marriage. Just think of the possibilities! More importantly what about post-menopausal women who want to get married? Should they be refused marriage too? Under a KK world will men and women have to undergo fertility testing to make sure that they are able to procreate and thus uphold the real purpose of marriage? Does every man over the age of 55 get Viagra with their marriage license?

Of course if we talked with KK she would scoff at all of those examples. But in a nutshell these examples are at the core of her problem. The anti-gay marriage logic is so tortured, so gerrymandered to solely defend her anti-homosexual agenda that it just falls apart under the faintest of scrutiny.

Not withstanding the disappointing vote against it in Maine last week, gay marriage is more and more becoming a reality on the United States. Younger people have no issue with gay marriage and since most of the opposition lies with older people, each year that opposition becomes less and less pronounced. The states that have approved gay marriage have not become Sodom and Gomorrah, gays haven't been "recruiting" more kids to their team, and existing hetero marriages are just as strong (or weak) as ever. The fact that gay marriage opponents are left with flimsy philosophical arguments and stale anti-gay anecdotes to make their case shows how out of the mainstream they've become.

Update: There was a hilarious parody of the Kersten column in today's strib. Read the Kersten column from the link above, then check out this. Good stuff.

Last week the City Pages used that term to describe Corey Brewer, the string bean of a forward employed by the Minnesota Timberwolves. Besides generating page hits through teh google, I thought that phrase perfectly captured Brewer and the potential of the Wolves.

If you haven't been paying attention, the Wolves have completely revamped their team once again in the hopes of creating something out of the big stinking growler left by the Kevin McHale regime. So far the results have not been pretty: a Detroit Lions-like 1-7 record including a record-breaking 146-105 loss last night against the Golden State Warriors, crowds at Target Center that are listless and sparse, and the team "savior" Ricky Rubio playing in Barcelona for another 2 years.

There is hope however. Kurt Rambis seems to be a good coach and has put together a pretty good coaching staff, including Dave DeBuscher Bill Laimbeer (God was that embarrassing). Just seeing those guys on the sidelines is a little comforting. Also Corey Brewer is one of those guys you gotta love, not necessarily for his basketball skill but for his ineptness. The guy can play defense -- he's all energy, and with those long arms and legs he is up in your grill in a flash. Problem is he can't shoot a lick, doesn't understand the offense, and is just as likely to throw the ball away, shoot an airball before his team is set in the half court, or commit a foul his body is out of control and the opponent takes advantage. He's one of those lovable losers that, when your team is bad, you have to embrace just for the futility of it all.

Now all isn't lost if you are a fan of NBA basketball. You can easily score tickets to any game you want. Last Friday, a couple of friends and I went to the Wolves-Bucks game and sat 6 rows behind the Wolves bench for $20. This was a Friday night against a Milwaukee team that will pull in some 'Sconi fans. I am guessing midweek games can be had for a song. Even with the Wolves as bad as they are, watching NBA basketball for that cheap and that close is a treat.

So go to a Twolves game. Cheer on Corey Brewer and his spindly little legs as he goes 1-12 from the floor. Watch all 5'-7" of Johnny Flynn flying down the court, getting hammered by much bigger opponents, see Stewie look-alike white Euro dude Percherov score 24 points against a nice Celtics team and then not even sniff the basket against a lousy Bucks team. It's all good. It's the 2009 NBA as we know it in Minneapolis.

Last week I was at the hospital waiting for the elevator. The door opened and there was this Priest all dressed in black except for his white collar and huge silver crucifix. When the door opened he looked at me and said in a very low voice "going down?" Even though I was, I said no and waited for the next elevator. Here's your Random Top 10:

1. Pale Blue Eyes -- R.E.M.
2. Bob Dylan Wrote Propaganda Songs -- Minutemen
3. Troublemaker -- Weezer
4. Mesmerizing -- Liz Phair
5. I'm Sorry For You My Friend -- Hank Willams
6. One - Aimee Mann
7. Bad Luck -- Social Distortion
8. Kid About It -- Elvis Costello
9. Joke About Jamaica -- The Hold Steady
10. What Led Me to This Town -- The Jayhawks

Bonus: Alone + Easy Target -- Foo Fighters

Hey, that's not a bad list, good variety, nothing embarrassing. What's your top 10?