RainCastles Blog

February – Part 2

Over the last week, I have been progressively feeling better at long last and today I felt “super-genki.” From everyone’s e-mails and letters, it seems I had the “crud” that everyone in MN has been having then it gave way to a sinus infection. Did I mention I was really happy to see everyone back home? : )

I have been going into the office and meeting up with friends off and on this week and it’s really good to reconnect and be out and about as usual. Yesterday (2/27) I went with a colleague/friend to lunch with her host family and little did she or I know what was in store. For me, first off her host family is the former mayor of over twenty years and his wife. He was largely responsible for bringing the University to this town many years ago. As it panned out, my friend and I were going with her host mom to lunch. We were picking her up, but since I had brought her an omiyagi with chocolate, I asked if I could give it to her before we left so it wouldn’t melt in the car while we were away. She was a bit surprised at this (maybe) faux pas in etiquette, but quite gracious about it. It was curious to me why she would wear fancier clothes like a mink-trimmed poncho to a casual lunch…I chalked it up to being a beloved former mayor’s wife and keeping up appearances.

Once we got to the restaurant, my colleague/friend and I were surprised to learn that it was a group lunch with various host moms, their friends, and the hosted international students. We were running a bit late and so the three of us had the pleasure of walking into the room of about 20 or 25 people all seated and looking at us as we opened the door. Of course, now the clothing made sense…my colleague/friend typically dresses to the 9s and I decided to dress up since I wasn’t biking today in a skirt and all, talk about a stroke of luck.

As is the case with many Japanese events there was a program. We met each other, had a short opening speech about the host family organization, then we all got a glass of beer and hear a toast from Obaasan (“Grandma”), then started to eat. Once again, the eating style was buffet and it was like other program buffets to which I have been. Everyone plots a spot somewhere around the food tables in the center of the room (it’s a tight squeeze) and while talking and cajoling, you pick and grab whatever you’d like to try—of course all the while trying not to eat too fast to be rude though I am amazed at how fast others can eat while all this is going on. In most cases there are multiple trays of things so whatever you want is in reach. Just be sure when you leave your spot for soup or oden, that you whittle yourself back in, lest you loose your plate or your beer while getting soup or oden. That’s another recurring theme. People are very keen on keeping your glass full of whatever you choose to drink. In the more “grown-up” settings, it has been with beer, sake, shochu, or something alcoholic, otherwise it might be iced tea, juice, karapisu, or water. I think part of it is to show their hospitality towards you and to help “bond” a friendship or colleague-ship. Unfortunately, when you don’t want any more, you often end up leaving a full glass to be discarded. But I digress…

My colleague/friend and I, being probably the youngest/newest people in this group, tried to be sure that Obaasan had what she wanted to eat and drink, as she doesn’t walk so well. So after some eating and talking, the program continued. They had a pianist (a student from the University) play a few light pieces, then we played a version of “Red Rover” in Japanese. After that, we all sang a few songs in Japanese with her accompaniment, including a version of “If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands” and “Okina kuri”—that one I know too well thanks to Chillin’ Jill and very kind colleague. Then all of us international students had to introduce ourselves to the group, in Japanese of course. By this time, it was clear to me that these were mostly longer term international students and my Japanese is no where near their levels, still I asked if I could introduce my basics (name, nationality, “happy to be here”, enjoying Japan) and then my colleague/friend added a bit more for me. She mentioned to them that we are colleagues in our research group and that I had only arrived in October and that is when I started learning Japanese. People seemed to be excited about that since a lot of people talked to me about it after the program while we were eating yet more food. Then all of a sudden, well to me it was all of a sudden, it was time for the international students to perform. The Bangladeshi woman, danced to music from Bangladesh, but the rest of us seemed surprised at this instant performance request. One of the Chinese women, sang a Chinese camp song that sounded a lot like a military dirge to my ears. A couple of the host moms kept asking me to sing something American, so I thought about it and asked if we could do a song/game. Of course that was fine, so I asked my colleague/friend to help with a bit of translation and we all learned the abbreviated version of the “Hokey Pokey!” (Hmmm, let me see, that’s four continents where I have taught that one—to think it all started at the Thanksgiving dinner on December 5th, 1994 in Eichstaett!) Afterwards one woman asked me where do we do this dance and I explained usually at birthday parties with children.

Before you knew it, it was time for the closing remarks and Obaasan spoke again about international friendships and how the chrysanthemum plants they gave us international students along with the smiles we shared, though fleeting, are gifts to each of us. After her remarks, we all helped clean up. While us students put chairs away and took the trash away, the host moms wrapped up the tastiest meat leftovers (pork-chop sandwiches, teriyaki-style meatballs, battered chicken chunks) and gave us each a small package to take home (this was a catered party, so taking home leftovers is apparently ok, unlike in restaurants). I want to mention that this is a very kind gesture and I certainly appreciate it because meat is very expensive in Japan—maybe one reason that Japanese diets are considered lower in protein but higher in fish & tofu—and also they so didn’t need to do this since we were all there as their guests. The rest of the leftovers they packaged up and took with them.

While my colleague/friend, her host mom and I were getting our coats, the Obaasan came over to talk a bit more with us. She had my colleague/friend ask me if I knew of her family’s business near campus. I did and she had my colleague/friend explain to me that when I come to her family’s business, I should tell them that “Obaasan knows me” and that they’ll treat me right. It was one of only a couple times this has happened to me in Japan, but she took my hand and squeezed it to emphasize her point and was smilingly encouragingly while my colleague/friend translated for her. I get the feeling that after 87 years, she has many interesting stories to share.

After such a luncheon, we went to my colleague/friend’s host family’s house to have coffee, then to take tea and sweets. It was really a nice time to talk and get to know them a bit. One thing I just have to mention was that in 1994 the Emperor and Empress of Japan came to town for the Pan-Asian games held at the local sports arena built for the events. Since her host dad was mayor at the time, he hosted them throughout their stay, including entertaining them in their home. We saw a couple of the photos of their visit and such, but then her host mom started making more tea. My colleague/friend told me that she wanted to make tea for us so that we could drink it from the same tea bowls in the same seats as the Emperor and Empress! The bowls are from Kyoto and were bought especially for the royalty’s visit for a very dear amount. It was very nice of her to do that for us and it seemed to make her day to do that for us too. It was a really nice day and finally another “full language immersion” type of day!

So, that’s what I have been up to this last week. I wanted to get this missal out before the end of February since March promises to be busy. I will be traveling a bit and hope to have more stories and a few photos to share.

BTW: Props out to my garbage-can-grouch friend for the MP3s from Avenue Q—especially “What do you do with a BA in English” and “For Now!” So, tell me, was Gary Coleman really in the production of it you saw in NYC? Somehow the music and voices really remind me of “Sesame Street”—hee-hee!

Enjoy the attached comic, as well as the maybe southern-influenced floorplan (course, that’s how I used to talk before I was able to “pass” as a Minnesotan), and the curious initials for the chocolate company. I bet it’s natural! I think that my partner’s mom might get a kick out of that one! : )

Keep on truckin’!