"This is NOT how you would act if your father was in the room, mister."

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I found chapter 10's conclusions about single parent families to be very surprising; especially those about single mothers whose husbands had died. According to the book, children raised by single mothers whose spouses passed away exhibit no abnormal emotional or behavioral problems compared to children in traditional, two-parent households.

Just because a child doesn't show problems doesn't mean they're not there. I know from personal experience; my father fell terminally ill with melanoma when I was nine, and passed away in 2005, when I was 12. My mother has not remarried.

I was very close to my dad, and i took his death very hard- when I think about it, though, it didn't really have negative effects on my behavior. He was the authority in my family- he laid down the law. Even after his passing, the idea of disobeying him would scare me. I had my disrespectful streak in high school- what teenager didn't? My Junior year, after an argument during which i had yelled and swore at my mom, she asked me, "Do you think this is okay? What would your dad say about how you treat me, if he were here right now?" I had a pretty good idea of what he would say- just thinking about it made my gut clench up and gave me chills.

The point I'm getting at is maybe losing a parent in a family doesn't cause behavioral problems, but there's an emotional impact that shouldn't be overlooked.

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I'm sorry to hear about your father. I think that the loss of a parent would definitely impact your life, and I like how you make a distinction between behavioral and emotional impacts.

I feel sorry when I hear your story. My situation is a little bit different from you. My parents got divorced when I was five years old, and I lived with my dad since then. He takes a really good care of me and provided me very well. He plays both roles in my life. He plays the role as a mom and as a dad at the same time. he fulfilled my life with the missing part. I didn't encounter any emotional problems due to my parent's situation at all

I am sorry to hear about your father. I feel like part of your argument justified the book, however, they said that do not exhibit abnormal behavior and, emotionally ad physically.You obviously still listened to your mother and from your perspective you experienced negative emotional behavior but how can a psychologist possibly measure that without just asking if you feel different from before, which would not be very scientific. I am sure that you did undergo changes but my point is that psychologists would have to know your mental state before and after the death of a parent.

So sorry to hear about your dad! I also lived with a single parent growing up, my parents split when I was pretty young. But I think in some cases, having a single parent can almost make you a better person. You really become appreciative of what you do have and that helps you to grow as a person. But there's no doubt there are some serious emotional impacts involved with single parenthood.

Sorry about your father. Hope you can go through it.

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This page contains a single entry by kauff062 published on April 2, 2012 3:54 PM.

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