February 1, 2005
At this point next week, I will...
(a) be celebrating the fact that I turned in my prelim
(b) have lapsed into a semi-permanent vegetative state
(c) will wonder how my house got so incredibly messy?
(d) all of the above
Today is yet another day for panic. I have been sick with some nasty bug for the last week or so, and it's really draining my energy. That leads me to think, why didn't I do more writing on this paper over the break? I certainly could have. In fact, I DID do a lot of reading related to my paper, but reading is certainly an excuse for avoiding the harder tast of actually accomplishing something. Then I think, why didn't I do more in my coursework to prepare for this paper?! I SHOULD HAVE written each paper in preparation for the prelim! In my policy class, I should have done my policy paper on the same topic! In my formal orgs class--the same! Duh, right?
I can give some sugarcoated answer here about how life is a all a process, and I probably learned more by doing a different topic and maybe back then my thinking wouldn't have been so nuanced, etc. Blah blah blah. And, as I've said previously, I'll probably be glad I did this paper when I get to the other side of the process, but in the meantime. . . .
I think about how much initiation there is in this profession, and I wonder. Will I remember what this feels like when I'm the one answering student emails about the wording of the introductory sentence at 11:53pm the week before the exam is due?
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