Tribblegate Aside... | Main | Frustration Sets In....

November 25, 2005

Job Search Woes

As I mentioned previously, I've cautiously set out on the job market, only to be met with loads of insecurity and self-doubt. There's probably no reason for all of this self-doubt--I have more than one publication in a peer-reviewed journal, I have multiple lines on my CV related to conference presentations, and my teaching record is long and outstanding. Nonetheless, I'm suddenly in a panic: Why did I get my degree in ed policy when I really want to be a teacher educator? Shouldn't I have done the program in C & I? Why didn't I at least minor in C & I? Why wasn't I more involved in X? Why didn't I get more involved in Y professional organization? Why can't I be more like Recent PhD Graduate, who seems destined for a fabulous career? Not to mention Soon-to-be Recent PhD Graduate, who is likely applying for the same jobs I am.

So, I'm freaking out. My research suddenly seems too risky. Maybe I should just do a traditional study, to show people I know how to be traditional. Save the visionary stuff for later. Maybe that visionary stuff is just overconfident anyway.

If my own internal stuff isn't enough, there's the job application process itself. I don't understand why most jobs want actual letters of recommendation along with the application. As someone said to me recently, "Don't they know that nearly everyone is going to have outstanding letters?" Wouldn't it be better to wait until further along in the process? Needless to say, with as busy as some of my recommenders are, I have actually found myself tempted to not apply, simply because I'm nervous to ask for a letter for a job I might not get.

So, nothing seems easy these days. I suppose a day WILL come when I'll have the degree, a fabulous job somewhere, and another baby on the way. None of that has happened yet, but I'm making slow progress. And, I'm trying to remind myself not to get too stressed about the big picture. Right now, I just have to get that prospectus finished.

Posted by chri1010 at November 25, 2005 11:21 PM

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