« I'm not a SockapaLOSER! | Main | Sock it to me! »
September 19, 2007
No Baby This Time
It's been a long hard summer. Truth be told, we never thought that J would turn 6 and not have a sibling. Not that we haven't been working on it. For a long time. But, being doctoral students (or, I should say candidates, since we've both passed that milestone now) and working full-time and being the parent of one child has been a lot. Travel schedules aren't always compatible with ovulation schedules. We were starting to doubt things. And then it happened earlier this summer: two faint lines on a pregnancy test.
We were surprised. We were happy. We were in shock. I did all the things a good pregnant woman should do. I took my vitamins. I drank lots of water. I gave up caffeine. I got lots of rest.
But then, I started to get cramps. I started bleeding. A trip to the emergency room. And then, I entered into the last three weeks of hell. A cycle of not knowing anything. Blood tests regularly to see if my hormones are going up (they were). Ultrasounds to see if they could see a bay in there (they couldn't). Doctors who were generally not worried about the bleeding, even though I was. A lot of resting. A lot of not being able to focus on anything but my body. A lot of tentative optimism, but really knowing that things were about to not work out after all.
And then it happened. It became completely clear that there would be no baby this time. One more blood test to confirm what I already knew. There's not gonna be a baby this time.
At first it was a little easier to deal with. The hormones hadn't yet plunged dramatically, and I could stay philosophical about it all. Recognize that some things aren't meant to be. Know that early miscarriage is likely a sign of a genetic malfunction that isn't viable anyway. But now, with the hormones doing their thing and all, that philosophy stuff is a little more distant. It's hard to hear J ask in his innocent 6 year old way if the baby would have been a boy or a girl. Or, hear him demand, I just want you to be pregnant NOW, mama! Believe me, kiddo, I do too.
But instead, it's time to heal up the bumps and bruises and get back on my bicycle. Keep on working on this project, as we call it. Now we know one thing we had been starting to doubt: the parts REALLY do work. So, there should be a baby some day. Just not in April 2008.
Posted by chri1010 at September 19, 2007 11:35 AM | Family Matters
Comments
So sorry for your loss! I have been there, done that and it sucks. Best wishes for the next time around (hope it will be soon)
Posted by: becky c. at September 24, 2007 12:07 PM
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Kimberly at September 26, 2007 4:36 PM
Como conseguir trabajo en tiempo de crisis, nos enseña cuales son los pasos necesarios para crear un sistema de trabajo que nos lleve de la mano a lograr la meta anhelada, encontrar el trabajo correcto para nosotros, todo empieza dentro de nosotros con ejercicios para fortalecer la autodeterminación y combatir la procastinacion, siendo la voluntad y el deseo de crecer nuestro primer motor y uno de los elementos más importantes que usualmente no se trabajan,
Posted by: Conseguir Trabajo en Tiempo de Crisis at February 1, 2012 9:30 PM
La Felicidad no es un mito , esta viene del trabajo duro y real , de acometer una empresa y de llevarla a buen termino , me gusta lo que he leido y creo que van por el buen camino , difiero en algunos detalles pero cada quien tiene su propia experiencia que contar.
Posted by: Tonette Beachel at March 1, 2012 3:01 AM
Thank you for listing my web site and the kind words. No doubt my web-site is used more than I think. Just a week ago I had my projects at an Earth Day event and somone from local 4H advised me she had built a couple of my projects with all the 4H'ers.
Posted by: Ella Hargett at July 1, 2012 9:12 PM
I never ever realized how much chartreuse is in my house. I didn't know I even like that color until this challenge. Now I want more, more, more
Posted by: Rory Tuczynski at August 10, 2012 6:39 AM
Wonder if this just means that it is soo messed up they couldn't hire enough testers to receive some fresh ideas and to function the bugs out
Posted by: Zachary Danchetz at August 10, 2012 7:46 AM
A fantastic overview Ken and so incredibly true what was it that John Thornhill famously said?
"Many streams make a river"
Cheers to get a fantastic examine!
Posted by: Sergio Noun at August 21, 2012 9:04 PM
Some genuinely howling work on behalf of the owner of this site, utterly great content.
Posted by: ISO/MSP Reseller at August 26, 2012 6:16 PM
Thanks a lot for being the mentor on this topic. I actually enjoyed your article a lot and most of all enjoyed reading the way you handled the areas I thought to be controversial. You happen to be always really kind towards readers like me and let me in my existence. Thank you.
Posted by: Lose Weight at August 27, 2012 2:08 AM
Another excellent lens is HTML Tricks by Magicality, with plenty more tips for the lenses.
Posted by: vob for imovie at August 29, 2012 4:27 PM
Just hope you girls never unfollow me
A few months ago I stopped all that auto stick to back and unfollowed
7000 people today in 1 day and after that refollowed bloggers COOL ONES
I have stayed at around 4700 followers they will need to all be bots because
they will not seem to mind what I say as they never ever say anything to me
The internet is weird
Good Day Ladies
Posted by: convert mov to wmv mac at August 29, 2012 5:23 PM
Brian Hoff's site and average day is incredibly similar to mine. The only difference is mine says a internet developer' rather than Im a designer'.
Posted by: easy jailbreak iphone 4s help at August 29, 2012 10:50 PM
Do you accept "applications" for official letter writers?
Posted by: http://schoolgrantsguide.jigsy.com/ at August 30, 2012 2:16 PM
C'mon guys, google + can be a failure. my old relatives would under no circumstances join it and that is the reason why i wont either. google arrived waaaaaay much too late to this party
Posted by: https://schoolgrantsguides.wikispaces.com/ at August 30, 2012 3:08 PM
I'd like to live on Kauai. It was small, quiet, and it had lots of opportunities for an adventure.
Posted by: get well at August 30, 2012 10:37 PM
Squidoo is an enigma to me also. Just could not ever have a grasp of it......nor its real purpose. Congratulations to all of you who find it useful.
Posted by: http://getwellwishes.org/get-well-soon-messages at August 30, 2012 10:55 PM
I view something really special in this internet site.
Posted by: Breton at August 30, 2012 11:55 PM
Merely wanna tell that this is very beneficial, Thanks for taking your time to write this.
Posted by: Bruce at August 31, 2012 10:55 AM
I may suggest the one particular I have coded.
https://github.com/sergiomartino/jQuery-LiveTweet
Posted by: Fletcher Mijares at August 31, 2012 11:38 PM
Lovely just what I was searching for. Thanks to the author for taking his time on this one.
Posted by: onebuckresume at September 10, 2012 8:38 AM
I have to show my thanks to this writer just for rescuing me from this particular crisis. As a result of exploring throughout the search engines and getting thoughts that were not pleasant, I believed my entire life was over. Existing without the solutions to the difficulties you've fixed as a result of your entire short article is a critical case, and ones that would have in a negative way damaged my entire career if I hadn't come across your site. The mastery and kindness in taking care of all things was valuable. I'm not sure what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a step like this. It's possible to now look forward to my future. Thank you so much for the skilled and results-oriented guide. I will not think twice to refer your web site to any individual who would like counselling about this area.
Posted by: onebuckresume at September 11, 2012 9:30 AM
Some really marvellous work on behalf of the owner of this internet site, absolutely great subject matter.
Posted by: onebuckresume at September 11, 2012 12:13 PM
Minimalist sites load faster, get fewer server resources, and are typically faster to develop than more graphically complicated designs
The key to a stunning minimalist internet site is usually a solid and structured layout, as well as focus on stylish and well designed typography.
Posted by: Ronni Holdvogt at September 14, 2012 4:32 PM
And in which may be the facebook like backlink ?
Posted by: Laraine Contreras at September 24, 2012 9:02 PM
could be the story about what happened immediately after that Writers Conference at which I became friends with the brilliant novelists Lucia Orth and Sasha
Posted by: Audria Spray at October 20, 2012 11:55 PM
These is like deja vu for me. In the early 1980s Norman Podhoretz stated my identify in Commentary using my Letter into the Editor for the situation in Amherst. I was not Granny Jan then.
Posted by: Nery Jenness at October 21, 2012 2:17 AM
The host have done a reliable job. It is insightful and inspiring. I most certainly will continue reading your blog and wishing for your upgrading.
Posted by: Marion at December 6, 2012 10:23 AM
Beloved Roy!! Excellent honest guy. Superior luck in retirement!! Scott is extremely knowledgable and good with his customers. Hope to see them before long.
Posted by: Dylan Aiava at December 15, 2012 1:53 AM
Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another.
Posted by: Mustang Forum at December 18, 2012 10:12 AM
I really have to take Steve up on this comment as being a little |excessively unfair
Posted by: Full Article at December 20, 2012 8:56 AM
Simply a smiling visitant here to share the love (:, btw great design.
Posted by: Tiny Walliser at December 20, 2012 11:24 AM
I like this site because so much useful stuff on here :D.
Posted by: Yong Vatterott at December 25, 2012 7:27 AM
Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness to your put up is just nice and i could suppose you are an expert on this subject. Fine together with your permission allow me to clutch your feed to keep updated with impending post. Thank you 1,000,000 and please continue the gratifying work.
Posted by: sablon kaos at December 26, 2012 3:32 AM
I got what you mean , regards for putting up.Woh I am delighted to find this website through google. "Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat." by Jerry Coleman.
Posted by: sablon kaos at December 26, 2012 4:45 AM
I genuinely enjoy looking through on this internet site, it has got great posts. "And all the winds go sighing, For sweet things dying." by Christina Georgina Rossetti.
Posted by: sablon kaos at December 26, 2012 5:24 AM
I consider something truly interesting about your site so I saved to favorites.
Posted by: Amie Wulf at December 27, 2012 1:41 PM
I agree completely with what you wrote. Good Read. Keep it going..
Posted by: quick funds within the shortest at December 29, 2012 8:54 PM
I like this site because so much useful material on here :D.
Posted by: Terrence Carrauza at December 30, 2012 3:28 PM
I don't usually comment but I gotta admit thank you for the post on this great one :D.
Posted by: Caprice Nabor at December 31, 2012 8:10 AM
I like this website very much, Its a real nice spot to read and incur info .
Posted by: THERFTECHNO at January 3, 2013 12:49 PM
Do I understand that a special pickup is required for CFLs etc and that a project ID shall be required?
Posted by: Bennie Holler at January 4, 2013 10:45 PM
Thanks really a lot for that images, I'm a dog lover and I just love the cute puppy deal with.
Posted by: Pasty Creson at January 5, 2013 3:46 AM
Loving the information on this website, you have done outstanding job on the posts.
Posted by: Kali Bosse at January 13, 2013 12:00 PM
I truly treasure your work, Great post.
Posted by: Betty Swank at January 18, 2013 11:57 PM
I am not rattling excellent with English but I get hold this real easy to translate.
Posted by: Isaias Loftus at February 21, 2013 4:35 PM
I always was interested in this topic and still am, thanks for putting up.
Posted by: Betty Swank at February 22, 2013 1:38 AM
Believe it or not unlike the Brits in The top Exotic Marigold Hotel, who want to leave England I'd personally adore to retire to England. I love that country!
Posted by: Brenton Treptow at March 26, 2013 2:56 PM