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February 27, 2009
Nursing sucks
I'd like to say I'm one of those people for whom nursing comes easily. I'd settle to be one of those people who have an overabundance of milk and all of the problems associated with that condition. Alas, I am neither of those people. I am someone with a barely adequate milk supply and a family predisposition toward tongue-tied babies.
What is a tongue-tie, you might ask? You know that little thing that holds your tongue to the bottom of your mouth? It's called a frenulum. In babies who are tongue-tied, the frenulum extends far forward on the tongue such that they can't really lift their tongue up very high, and they cannot stick their tongue out.
J was born tongue-tied. Back then (I say back then like it was eons ago, but in fact, seven years seems to make a difference with a lot of this kind of stuff), the general practice was to clip the tongue tie. The surgeon--J saw a surgeon regularly for another medical condition, so he was lucky enough to have this done by a surgeon--got J to cry a little, and then he used a sterile scissors and simply snipped the frenulum a bit so that J could lift his tongue. There's a little bleeding and it doesn't make the young'en very happy but the mouth heals quickly and that's that.
In the case of J, the tongue tie was just one of a thousand strikes against us in our quest to nurse. We also faced the following--a terribly long labor (don't even ask) followed by a c-section, J's medical condition and subsequent surgery immediately after birth, our being separated (he had to have surgery at a different hospital), STRESS (gee, I wonder why?), J being given formula before we were even reunited. Then there was the infection in my c-section incision, which led to us both getting thrush. By the time it was diagnosed, J was in so much pain that he went on a nursing strike and we never quite recovered. It's funny--things are so much easier this time around (no long labor, no being separated at birth, no medical conditions requiring surgery) that I look back on the first time and see that, yes, I really WAS a basket case. I had the right idea when I said I wanted another baby because I wanted to know it didn't have to be this hard.
So this time, when we saw that S was also tongue tied, we were a little surprised to hear that these days, they don't just automatically clip it. The doctor told us they clip it "only if it interferes with nursing." I regret not saying to clip it, even though at that point my milk hadn't come in.
When S left the hospital, she had lost enough weight that I was concerned. From 6, 9 to 5, 14. We went in for a weight check a few days later and we were down another 2 ounces. At this point, we should have brought up the tongue tie again, but everyone was saying how good she can latch. Which she can, but guess what, folks? She can't suck so well. And that's important.
So, S gained weight slowly, and in the process, I started to go out of my mind. I was taking fenugreek like crazy, along with blessed thistle. I ordered goat's rue, thinking that would help, but all it did was upset my stomach. I read every freakin' website about lactation. I cried every night from 4-6 pm. Then, one day, I decided to give S formula.
At first I felt like a failure, like I was giving in when if I just waited a few more weeks things might get easier. But guess what? It turns out that she couldn't suck on the bottle nipples. We kept going to smaller and smaller bottle nipples, with slower and slower flow. Finally, when the formula was still rolling out her mouth and down her back (we had to change her clothes after every feeding), we realized the tongue tie was causing all of this! I wasn't such a failure after all.
So we went back to the doctor who told us about the "research" and made him be the one to clip that tongue tie. He didn't really want to, but he did it anyway. And now S is a stronger sucker, and we're doing ok with the breast milk thing. I think we'll probably always supplement with formula, but we've got a pretty strong routine of nursing.
For awhile there, I thought the nursing was going to stop before it ever got a chance to get started. But now, I think it will go on for as long as possible, as long as it can. And I feel good about that. So good, that I leave you with a picture of an adorable sleeping baby:
Posted by chri1010 at February 27, 2009 10:57 PM | Family Matters
Comments
First of all, she's totally adorable. Second, I get so frustrated about women having guilt about breast-feeding. Of course, I did, too. But really? Why should we feel like ass when our bodies don't always cooperate? Or babies bodies, in your case!
Posted by: Courtney at March 1, 2009 1:18 AM
Yeah, and now we have thrush! Whoo hoo! How did I get so lucky? At least we've caught it early, I'm pretty sure, and I'm just going straight for the Gentian Violet. I don't care if the whole house gets turned purple, I want this yeast outta here!
I think she's even got an all-purple outfit she can wear for the treatment!
Posted by: Minneapolismama at March 2, 2009 1:16 AM