November 16, 2009
I've had this idea for a post for awhile now, and now I actually have time to post, and I can't remember what I wanted to say!! Isn't that how life goes?
We went to a wedding recently--my nephew got married. I actually told him a story at the wedding of a time when he was a toddler. I'm so old, I can do those things now! For the most part, the wedding was quite lovely, and overall, very beautiful.
Some of my relatives didn't go, and I think that we sort of surprised ourselves by going. The wedding was in California, and it ended up being a pretty expensive trip, although we took J to Chinatown in San Francisco and also to the King Tut exhibit. He's been interested in that lately, so it was a nice coincidence it was on exhibit there. These things added to the cost of the trip, for sure, but it also felt good to know we were contributing to J's education by doing these things.
I think it ended up being a good thing that we went to the wedding because it was a nice set of reminders about why people get married in the first place. C has been doing both better and in some ways worse lately. Overall, I think his pain management is a little better, but in some ways, he's been very needy. At times it feels to me like he is checked out of life, and then there are other times where he's much more his normal self. During the checked out times, though, I feel overwhelmed and angry. I can sort of deal with not having time to get everything done that I want to do, but often it feels like nothing is getting done. Add to that an 8 year old who drops his legos on the floor and leaves his toys on the table and...and...and...and yes, I should teach J to pick up after himself and all that. What do you (ok, not "you" because "you" understand these things) think I've been trying to do all these years? Not to mention that it takes TIME to stay on top of J and his toys. And time is something in short supply....no hostility here, I promise.
So the wedding. The wedding reminded me that of course there are rough patches in every relationship. There are supposed to be rough patches. And at some point in the future, we'll come away from this rough patch and hopefully things will be better. And love is about seeing the imperfections in your mate and loving them anyway. I'm holding on to these things right now because this is definitely a rough patch.
And then there's the saying on the fridge magnet at my friend K's house: the universe will unveil things in its own time. Or something like that. K--if you're reading, feel free to leave the corrected version in the comments. I'm sure not sure what the universe if unveiling to me, but I'm trying to listen.
November 1, 2009
Last year, I learned the importance of letting your child choose his own halloween costume. It took awhile for that lesson to set in, though.
This year, I got it in my head that J and S would make a cute pair, if they had some kind of matching costume. You know, like Abbott and Costello, only younger. But J really would have none of it. He entertained my ideas, like J as a banana and S as a monkey (I know, I know), but he was doing that sort of listening that mothers do when their child is blathering on and on about pokemon this and pokemon that. You know, listening, but not really listening.
So eventually, we found ourselves in Target, and he was enthralled with the idea of spending his $10 allowance on a $9.99 red ninja costume. (We haven't really been able to teach him about sales tax yet, but he's starting to figure it out.) I thought that was the end of my matchy matchy costume for baby S, but then I remembered she has a papa!
I think this picture probably says it all. They had so much fun and the neighbors really were impressed with the two of them. I already have plans for next year. I figure I've only got a couple of years before S will have her own ideas about costumes, and hopefully I'll have it all out of my system by then.
In the meantime, J had a costume change of heart. For the last couple years, he's been asking for a Harry Potter-style owl, and I finally found one for him, a little stuffed owl finger puppet I got on a recent trip out of town. He was so excited about it, we had to go out to buy the makings of his owl trainer costume. See?
He's an owl trainer:
Now, this may not seem like much of a costume, and in fact, several neighbors thought he was a grunge rocker, but for J, this was a costume, as he is not at all into flannel shirts or shirts with buttons. In fact, he really wanted to get a second hand shirt, but the costume was so last minute, the second hand store was "closed to celebrate Halloween" by the time we got there, so we had to buy a new one. Maybe he'll wear it again. We'll see.
At any rate, a good time was had by all, and hopefully S won't hate us for dressing her up like a lobster. To her credit, she seemed to enjoy the costume, and once it was off, she had fun poking at the eyes and chewing on the antennae.
What was my costume, you might be wondering? Well, I have a standard Halloween costume each year. Suburban mom. Check it out!
Happy Halloween, everyone! I've already got a "bee" in my bonnet for next year! hint, hint