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March 6, 2010

In parenting, happiness is a tall order

When our son J was born, I told him that all I wanted for him was to be happy. It seemed like a good wish for him at the time, but over the years I have really learned just how hard it is to make good on that kind of expectation.

For starters, as a parent, there are times when we really need our kids to be unhappy. I don't mean miserable, but I do mean that setting limits really involves short times of potential unhappiness for long term payoff. I wasn't really thinking about this kind of happiness at the time of his birth. In fact, I had no idea that "no video games until your homework's done" would ever cross my lips. But it does nearly every day, much to the unhappiness of an 8 year old boy. And that's a good kind of unhappiness.

There's also the unhappiness that comes from temporary learning situations that we all need to experience and are better learned the hard way. We can't really protect kids from everything, nor should we, I think. I don't know that J has had many of these lessons, but he is often a tentative kid, watching the action before jumping in. It's interesting--in this way he's not so impulsive, and yet in other ways, he IS impulsive.

J's happiness has been something to dwell on lately because there doesn't seem to be much of it, and it all seems to be centered around school. I can say for sure that J is not a very typical kid in so many ways, and it really makes school a challenge. Both C and I generally liked school, and we listened to our teachers and did what we were told, and so it's completely new territory to have a child who would rather take an unnecessary trip to the bathroom than listen to the teacher, or to spend 20 minutes negotiating why he shouldn't have to do his homework than to just do it. The school tells us, "it's not like he's physically aggressive...he's just passively resistant." I gave them that language: passive resistance. It's putting your head down on the desk and taking a nap instead of participating.

It's been a hard year anyway. Did we need this? Before you rush to offer advice, I can't begin to list all the things we've tried. Rewards. No rewards. Trying to have him be more responsible for his homework. Trying to have him be less responsible for his homework. Using different colors to complete his homework. Breaking the problem down into steps.... I mean, I have a Ph.D. in education (no less). I should be able to figure something out that works.

And that's when it hit me. I felt like a failure. I really did, and in fact, I still do. Except that J has an appointment to be evaluated for Attention Deficit Disorder (a little thing we like to refer to as "attentional issues."). I think it's probably a classic sign to consider ADD when the parent feels like they've done EVERYTHING and still feels like a failure. What frustrates me now is that we made this appointment back in December 2009 AND WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR APRIL 12, 2010 to come!! I need to remember to take deep breaths. In the meantime, here's some things I've learned:

1. I am not a failure. The likelihood is truly great that J has ADD. I may not be a neuropsychologist, but I've already taken the parent survey and shown it to my doc, and she said, yep, it looks like a referral is in order.

2. Gifted kids present ADD in unusual ways. Here's a great article on that topic. Some of the things that really stand out to me are that they really don't like to do homework that is repetitious (and we have homework hell every night--to the point that I have often considered just doing the homework for him!!), and that gifted kids with ADD often perform average or even poorly in the classroom and excel at tests. Frankly, we are so there right now, it's not even funny. The school has pretty much told us they think J has stopped learning. Yet, I think he thinks they aren't teaching him. It's such a catch 22 in some ways. Sigh.

3. Gifted kids may not do well in language immersion programs.There's information on the web that counters my position on this issue, but kids who are highly verbal need to express themselves verbally, and they may not be able to do that effectively in a language immersion setting. The other aspect of this is that the content may potentially be more simplified in the language immersion setting, and the gifted child is not able to engage it differentially as easily as in a native language setting.

4. Nothing has to be forever. This was advice given to me in a slightly different format by someone who has been through similar challenges. And, this is so good for me to remember. Sometimes it seems like all or nothing when it comes to school, but it doesn't have to be, and I can make it not be. One school year at a time. Or, one week at a time. Right now, even a week seems like a lot.

So, we have really determined that language immersion is not for J. Right now, he believes that schooling is not for him, but I think that in the right setting, he will change his mind. It's sort of amazing how excruciating changing schools can be. Schools really can become an extension of the family, and I feel sad leaving a really great school behind. But I want J to be happy, and I don't think it's happening in the context of language immersion, so it's time to try something else. Stay tuned....

Posted by chri1010 at March 6, 2010 11:29 PM | Family Matters

Comments

Hang in there. My daughter went through the same thing near that age. She was diagnosed ADD almost 6 years ago. It has been a different road for us. We just always had to approach things in a different way. Her turning point was when we learned that she had problems with concentrating on written answers on tests. Her teacher instead read her the test and she got 100% on it. She keeps a small rubic's cube in her pocket that she tinkers with as it helps her focus as she cannot sit perfectly still while listening to a lecture. I have found as the years have gone on that she has found personal ways of adjusting to her deficiency and now in grade 9 she is getting steady grades (over 80%) in all classes, with little to no intervention from me. One thing I do admire is her negotiation/compromise skills and her ability to see things from a different view. (I just wish that it helped when keeping her room clean)..lol..All the best.

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