Finding Your Other Half

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Although I have learned many things in psychology and have strengthened my knowledge of certain aspects of the textbook, something that I will most likely stick with me over the years is the information from Chapter 11: Emotion and Motivation specifically focused on dating, attraction and love.

As college students, although academically focused, we all have the hopes of meeting our future partner/spouse in college. Perhaps it's the media that puts emphasis in such ideas, but it isn't an outrageous thought or belief to possess.

The three things that can "make or break" the formation of a relationship are: proximity, similarity and reciprocity (Lilienfeld, 443). Proximity is what is defined as physical nearness and the more that you see someone on a regular basis, the more you may get to know about a person and become familiar with them, which heightens attraction. Similarity refers to having things in common, which can be a very huge factor, not just in dating, but in friendships. It helps to have similarities in certain aspects (especially values that are most important to you). Although opposites may attract, "birds of a feather flock together" (Lilienfeld, 445). Reciprocity is one of the most crucial principles because, in order for a relationship to proceed, both people involved must have similar feelings towards each other and be willing to enact on those feelings mutually.

I find that these guiding principles are very important, but it is also a good thing to note that if we believe that someone may like us, we are more inclined to like them back (Lilienfeld, 445). However, good judgement must be used in order to determine if we truly care for the person with similar feelings, as this can lead to confusion and heartache.

I think that if we keep these guiding principles in mind and use good judgement and think through our actions and what we are wanting out of a relationship, it is possible to have strong relationships with others and ultimate happiness.
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2 Comments

I definitely admit that I also had some hopes of finding my other half as I was coming to college. Amongst the trhee factors that "make or break" the formation of a relationship, I personally think that proximity influences me the most when forming a romatic relationship, although I surely agree upon saying that similarity is a huge factor when forming friendships. As you said, that people become somewhat interested in people that are interested in them, I once fell for a person that showed me interest and mistakenly thought that I also shared the same feelings. But it turned out that I did not share the exact same feeling, so I do think it is very important to be sure of your own feeling first.

Nice picture!! The topic of your article is the very common and heat theme we experience in our daily lives. From my perspective, I find the friendship, relationship and love is the most mysterious thing in the world, I cannot explain the why attraction happen between two people. And I’m not sure about the concept of “similarity”, one of my friends is dating with a guy who are have opposite personality, but some of my friends are have boyfriends or girlfriend who have common habit, similar personality. So I’m wondering that similarity is a huge factor in friendship or relationship? Maybe some difference between two people can attract each other more than two similar people??

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This page contains a single entry by scott848 published on April 28, 2012 11:14 PM.

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