Leadership/ Overindulgence Workshop
I recently attended a week long workshop put on by Jean Illsley Clarke (a highly regarded author of various parenting books and consultant for the field of parent education) This workshop was an intense week of practicing my facillitation skills with the material in the book titled, "How Much is Enough?" by Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft (Prof. at Concordia St. Paul). The phenomenon of "Overindulgence" in families is growing, and this book helps parents as well as professionals identify overindulgence (too much, over-nurture, soft structure), and guides you through the process of moving back onto the "middle of the nurture/structure highway" to a more balanced and supportive parent-child relationship. I would recommend this book to anyone that has a family or works with them because our society is constantly sending us messages encouraging overindulgence; making it a struggle to not overindulge ourselves, let alone those in our care. The best part of this book is that it is backed by research (conducted by David Bredehoft). They have gotten feedback about the experience and consequences of overindulgence from people that were overindulged as children as well as those that currently overindulge their children (currently on study 6 & 7). Here is a link to their website: www.overindulgence.info. I would love to continue the conversation of overindulgence with anyone interested. I will leave you with the Test of Four to identify overindulgence: 1. Does it keep the person from learning developmentally appropriate tasks; 2. Does it use a disproportionate share of personal or family resources; 3. Who's needs are being fulfilled (parents or child); 4. Was harm done to anyone or anything? This handy tool can be used with parents and children, to identify your own overindulgence, or with any other relationship.
- Thanks to Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft (and the many other players) for the hard work and determination in getting this information out into the world, and for providing me with an unforgettable learning experience at the workshop.
Comments
This is very interesting, Heather. I wish I could have attended the workshop. I think it is interesting to discuss overindulgence, especially in children in the context of work and family balance. In order to over indulge children, a family must have resources sufficient enough to support wants as opposed to just needs. In order to gain this, most families have to work and therefore balance work and family. In order to do this, many people actually do not take the time to meet their own needs, but yet they overindulge their kids, perhaps as a means of assuaging guilt over work/family decisions. These are just my thoughts on the topic, but I think this issue is going to continue to get bigger and bigger in time.
Posted by: Kristin | August 5, 2007 7:28 PM