THIS I BELIEVE
I was about ten years old when I had my first drink. I don’t remember why I started to drink alcohol, all I knew was that I got some sort of satisfaction out of it. I did this for years increasing the amount and frequency.
I was always taught to resist drugs because they ruin your life. But my good friend that I trusted told me they were a lot of fun so I made an educated decision to try them. We started out with psychedelics because they were easy to hide. Me and my friend didn’t smoke pot a lot because we didn’t want to end up in a situation where we had to talk to one of our parents while we were reeking of smoke and chuckling at nothing. We were smart about not getting caught. Months of this went by with regularity.
I was always a good student so just for a change I stopped using drugs and became more interested in school. With nothing interesting on the horizon I became bored with the monotony of everyday life. Being on drugs creaped its head back into my life. I made a decision to try out some harder drugs, it wasn't like I had anything better to do.
One day after school I had a national honor society meeting. I sat in the back because being there was the last thing on my mind. While being bored I looked out at the crowd and thought, “I know for a fact that I’m the only one here that has ever snorted cocaine.” This may have been comical for some, but for me it was isolating. I knew that some of my experiences at the time could not be paralleled by the people around me.
For me not using drugs beacme a stupid decision, I thought why have hamburger when you can have steak? As long as they were their I would use them. I became a habitual drug user. I would only fiend over drugs when I knew I could get them. I think that is the difference between an addict and a habitual user, addict’s fiend all the time.
I decided to stop using in the middle of my senior year in high school. I wondered what it was like living normal life for a change. It worked for me so I kept on doing it. In fact, I did it for two years. I flourished in my academics and started to feel physically and mentally better. But again I felt Isolated. This cycle of using, not using, and feeling alone came full circle. I started to use again.
This time it wasn’t with friends, I was alone. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I couldn’t be around anyone. It was just me. I did this for a long time. In the process I hurt a lot of people and lost a lot of friends. It became easy to pile misery on top of more misery. In the middle of loneliness I got to thinking and figured that there had to be something better in life but I had to work for it. I quit using drugs cold turkey.
After looking back through the fog I realized that no one enriches their life with drugs or alcohol, you don’t come out feeling like you accomplished something or your more mature. Drugs just make you feel alone.