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February 19, 2008

Reframings Reflection

Every artist has a message. Every artist uses communication to inform others of SOMETHING. It could be anything, an emotion, an idea, and movement. "Reframings" was one big book of messages in which artists communicated their views on feminism. All of the artists had several things in common. Using the media, each artist used their work to communicate what the feminist project is. Using art forms such as photography, including pin hole, regular, print, etc, as well as quilts, collages, or even layering each artist spoke through their work.
Art is a form of communication. In this case, it all spoke of culture differences, social and racial segregation, and in some cases showed me how violent history was to women, but more importantly, that it still is, I believe that each person interprets forms of communication a little (or sometimes very) differently. Because "Reframings" was filled with different type of art, I had the opportunity to interpret and define the message in my own way. Some artists had created something that I easily understood such as the Asian American identity section. Growing up, I've come to look less and less Asian, but as a young child I tended to identify myself as Asian. Japanese was my first language. My mother's language. The "Admit One" photograph reminded me of an almost identical photo that I have, somewhere hidden in my parent's house. I was smiling in my Japanese-esque outfit surrounded by my classmates, and it wasn't until that I received the photo back that I realized how different I looked from everyone else. Not only did this artist have a struggle with race, but also a struggle with gender. It's like a two slaps of segregation on the face. "The Oriental female" was always one my mother fought. A) Like Rachel said in class, rugs are oriental. My mother's not a damn rug nor am I. B) what exactly is meant by "female"? In this case the implication was someone weak. Someone inferior. Someone who is unknowledgeable. But look at any of the artists within the book. Look at any woman on campus. Look at my mother. Look at me. Reality has the ability so knock that implication on its ass.
This book hit a personal key within my head. I get it. And I like it...

Margaret Stratton used pictures of her mother’s house to represent not only her mother, but also her mother’s idea of the “ideal housewife�. It seems that other women teach stereotypes to us. Women in our own lives that hold some type of meaning to us. How do we teach others a meaning independent of this one?

Chapter 6 portrayed the struggle of “where does homosexuality fit in?� Sometimes I get so comfortable within my own friends that the swift and painful reality check is sometimes shocking to me. I need not venture more than 20 miles to my hometown and there it is. An entire community of homophobics. Cars with bumper stickers saying “Keep Marriage Straight�. I am a fish out of water.
But Chapter 6 showed something so realistic. Yet like all of the other ideas within the book, it’s attacked.
Overall, all of these ideas within the book are attacked. They are battered and under constant pressure. But I find it interesting is that the longer it is criticized and argues with, the stronger everything about this book becomes. The messages become louder and the ideas become more prevalent.
I think that these artists are creating far more than art, but contributing to a huge movement. Their artwork is there for others to see and to interpret for themselves.

February 11, 2008

Weak Monster

Something incredibly terrible happened to someone close to me over the weekend. Someone took one look at my beautiful friend and decided that they had to have her. No matter what. One drink and one rufi later, my friend woke up in hell on the cold floor of a strange bathroom. naked. afraid. alone. with no memory of how she got to where she was.

she was moved from the floor to HCMC.

from HCMC to her mother's arms.

she's still breathing. her heart beats on. she is able to speak. able to still smile. but my fear is that the confusion, the terror and the pain will break from the dam that she has created within her mind.

and i've never been so fucking pissed off in my entire life.

She looked at me this morning asking if this happened to her because she was a girl. Because she had boobs. Because she was female.
I didn't know how to answer at first.
I still don't.
"weak monster"
That's all I can think of.
Later, I brought her to a public area where an asshole of a cop could question her to begin the investigation. He walked his cocky self in a stood at the table that we were sitting at. Shaking, my friend spoke,
"Could you sit down please? You're making me nervous by standing there"
"Well I want to know what I'm here for first" he replied in a stern you're-wasting-my-time voice
It wasn't until she described what happened until he finally sat down.
And it wasn't until she started shaking AND sobbing that he believed her.

"Next time," she said, "I'm requesting a female cop."

My mind is perhaps to clouded with emotions to express myself at the moment. Maybe I'll add more later. As for right now, I'm taking a walk.

February 5, 2008

Thought process #1

Looking back I wonder when it was that something in me transformed.
Who exactly am I?
I was born in Nagasaki, Japan in 1985. I grew up with two languages in my head. I grew up with an urban bred Japanese mother and a I-Wish-I-Was-A-Farm-Boy father. I learned how to tie a kimono and drive a four wheeler.
But I never really thought about it:
I am a girl.
But how "girly" am I?
I think I have this image of a girl in my head that I have been completely terrified of for a long time.
She's polite. She's pretty. She's smart. She's neat. She's fashionable. She knows how to talk to men. She's incredibly feminine and she pisses me off.
I'm loud. I'm messy. I'd rather wear sweats all day and I'd rather learn about cars than learn about clothes.
I like loud thought-provoking music. I like sitting around nerding out on the internet rather than shopping. I like action movies more than chick flicks and I am now beginning to understand what my boyfriend in high school meant when he said, "you're just not like the other girls" and broke up with me. Because he's right. I'm not.
And I think that scares me. A lot. But not enough for me to change.