October 2010 Archives

The thing I found the most interesting about the readings this week was that they showed the various forms of desire that exist in human nature besides that which is just sexual. Sure, we can desire sex (it is even a part of our nature), and a couple of the readings dealt with various desires of sex, sometimes being a complete lack of sex ("Kinsey Report), yet the act of desire is rooted in ourselves as human beings. In particular, the Loudre's "Uses of the Erotic" piece really pointed out the the ways which desire/eroticism can manifest themselves in our lives without even touching upon sex. The Erotic is more of a feeling that is spiritual than physical, as she says in the piece "pornography is sensation without feeling." This piece really did force me to reevaluate what I pictured as "erotic" because, as talked about both in the work and in class, I often defined erotic to be something overtly sexual that is taboo to discuss. I myself, while writing creatively or really getting into the groove of a paper, experience a feeling that I guess with be defined was "erotic" by this standard; I didn't even know that this would be the term for the feeling until reading "Uses of the Erotic."

I love this week discussion on desire. This week discussion showed me a lot of "different" kind of desire. I just realize that the idea of desire had been so mis-interpreted by the media and made people think of desire as a sex all the time. Although majority of desire is about sex (according to media and internet) but some of the desire that have showed up in the reading it the desire to feel wanted, to feel accepted, to feel more then the physical. I guess some of the of the themes that showed up in this week discussion most related to me because I always desire to feel wanted by family members. Although, I grew up with a single mother, I still want to desire to be treated by others equally as if I do have two parents. However, the most desire that speak to me in this week discussion is the desire to feel more then what is on the physical part. What I mean by that is that, it has nothing to deal with sex but rather with look. I want the desire to let others see past my beauty on the outside and see me for who I am as a person. To me, when I think of desire it's not really about sex but rather about being recognize and I just think it's wonderful to know that although the media think that desire is about sex. To people out there desire is more then just sex its more about a person wants and needs.

When one thinks about desire, we often associate it with things of an extensively sexual nature. Pornography, intercourse, or erotic dialogue often come to mind. However, I was surprised this week by how many forms desire can take. Desire does not need to be sexual in nature or even at all. Desire can be shown through how one feels about their body. It can be shown through how one feels about a family member. Desire can appear anywhere that passion is, essentially. Desire need not be homosexual or heterosexual or even consensual. The interesting thing about desire being so limitless within its form, it is truly limited by social conventions. How one expresses desire is confined within what is accepted by society. Desire is shaped and controlled by the outside forces of oneself. Unfortunately, the consequences of this can be truly dire. Such a repression of desire could result in emotional incapabilities and issues forming relationships. Because of this, it is important for individuals to feel open and able to express their desire freely.

The reading this week which I found most enlightening was Audre Lorde's "The Uses of the Erotic". Lorde's piece caused me to reevaluate the word "erotic" and what it can stand for. The idea of erotic does not need to be associated purely with sex or the sexually taboo. Erotic itself can be a mindset or an experience associated with anything one finds pleasurable. There is the possibility for eroticism in anything one allows themselves to fully experience and embrace. A piece of literature that causes an individual to reevaluate their mindset or touches them deeply emotionally can be erotic. Reading "The Uses of the Erotic", for me, was an erotic experience. When I opened my mind to the possibilities of fully embracing my physical and emotional reactions to what I truly enjoy, it was mentally orgasmic. I feel that if one allows themselves to view the erotic as an untainted emotion, the way one experiences life could be much more pleasurable.

This weeks readings were quite interesting. I knew that the theme for this week was on desire, so I automatically assumed that we were going to read romantic 'rendezvous' stories or maybe stories about women reminiscing about old lovers. Instead I was delightfully surprised by each one, all of them being equally unique and revealing. Each story had their similarities, it being desire, but each one touched on desire in different ways. Castellanos's piece seemed to reveal how desire can vary from woman to woman. By utilizing the Kinsey report almost like an outline for her poem she explores the different voices of female sexuality. Where as with Nawal al-Saadawi's piece, she focuses much more on the emergence of desire within a young girl. My favorite though, was Layla al-Uthman's piece. Uthman's humor over the situation of an aging woman looking to rebel and validate herself is almost charming but more so funny. Uthman's piece touches on more of the 'want' of desire compared to the others. He main character is a middle aged woman who is looking to have an affair, but not to find sexual satisfaction, an affair to make her feel desired and younger.
The exploration of desire that most resonated with me though was that of Saadawi's young girl. It reminded me so much of when I was young and first discovered my changing body and sexual desire. Also, I sympathized with the young girl desiring a closer and almost more 'equal' relationship with her father. The image of her smelling her father's clothes to get his scent was personally heart wrenching for me. I used to do the same with my father's clothes as a kid. He passed away though, about seven years ago. I no longer have his clothes to smell, but I have his cologne which I take out once in awhile to sniff and reminisce.

While the theme for this week was about desire; each author represented a different desire in their stories. While some of the desires were emotional, personal and to be with someone else, all of them struggled to obtain their desires. The story that most resonated with me was "The Picture" by Nawal al- Saadawi because growing up; I had somewhat similar relationship with my dad. I connected with her because throughout my childhood, my dad was never around and when he came to our house there was no bond between us. I would look down and be afraid to look at his face. As I grew older, I realized that my desire was to have a father figure in my life. Even though I had hard time to forgive him for neglecting me when I was a child, I eventually had to overcome the struggle. After a while, my father earned my trust and the relationship turned into a father-son relationship.

In the last week's readings we discussed the often taboo topic of desire. At times this theme identified itself sexually, but at other times as strictly emotional. Audre Lorde wrote on the possibility of incorporating the erotic into our lives more often and thus making our smaller daily tasks more meaningful and fulfilling. From both Lorde's description and my own interpretation of the erotic, I think this means going into everything more emotionally, more intensely and allowing oneself to feel essentially everything. In Jeanette Winterson's "The Poetics of Sex" everything is amplified in this way. While much of the story is (comically) exaggerated and sexual, other segments like the description of how lesbians love one another is still erotic and deep, without being sexualized. The entire piece as a whole does this; it takes obnoxiously inquiring questions like "What do lesbians do in bed?" and flips them on the interviewer, to include a poetic, emotional answer that really is erotic, but not explicit in a pornographic way.

Desire, erotic, lust, porn; each of these words embodies today's societal views on sexuality. Our readings this week explored multiple facets of desire often overlooked by mainstream society. "The Poetics of Sex" by Jeanette Winterson really moved me; between the food metaphors and the references to Picasso's periods of art, Winterson's metaphors outlined the beauty of desire in a way which is often overlooked. The colors of abstract language Winterson paints with takes the scenes from taboo to exquisite. "Radish red, bull red, red like rose hips bursting seed. Lava red when she was called Pompeii and in her Destructive period," quotes Winterson, outling her lover's Red Period. Picasso's Red Period connotes the time in which his art was the most alive; this section illuminates the time in which their love was the most alive. Her metaphors open a poetic and alive side of lesbian love; lesbians are often simply labeled and categorized. She also personalizes the grief which occurs with the separation of lovers; "I thought I had lost Picasso. I thought the bright form that shapes my days had left me. I was loose at the edges, liquid with uncertainty." Grief humanizes the loves the women share. In conclusion, I loved Winterson's piece for opening up the chest cavity of desire and unlocking "the storehouses of love".

After reading the short stories regarding desire in it's different forms I am most interested in the Kinsey Report short story. I believe that the article reflects the different stereotypical desires that society expects women to have. A lot of the times society expects people to act a certain way and I think this author does a fantastic job of being sarcastic in the best way. I found the conversation in class regarding the actual Kinsey report scale very interesting. I think the author has a very interesting perspective in creating her own Kinsey Scale. Perhaps her intentions are to completely skew the 0-6 labels in a sort of "I'll show you" kind of way. With the author's background I feel tthis is very possible.

This week's readings were focused on desire, and the power within it. The reading that I liked most was Audre Lorde's "Uses of the Erotic". I was caught off guard by her claims about the word erotic, and what true desire, happiness, and serenity really are. Going into these readings I was stereotypical in thinking that the works would be centered on sexual desire, and although they may include that, they aren't only about sex. I resonated with Lorde's piece most because I felt her screaming to me that something more exists. She explains that erotic, desirable, satisfaction does not need to arise from physical, sexual activities, but rather it is expressed through literally anything, so long as it gives YOU a sense of satisfaction and a drive to pursue this powerful emotion you have experienced that has given you true fulfillment and makes you aware that it can possibly exist, and therefore nothing can stop you from the erotic.

The piece that touched me the most this week was the The Picture by Nawal al-Saadawi. It talked about the desire of the young girl to have a connection with her father and a different kind of relationship. I could totally relate to the way al-Saadawi put her words together and the way she described the father as well. I have a close connection with my father and I really look up to him in so many ways. Unfortunately I am unable to see him, so I miss him all the time. It was beautiful the way she spoke about her father in such an adoring way, and I really enjoyed it. I also thought that in such a short amount of text, the author was able to evolve the young girl from innocence and having that shattered and changed by the end of the story. Also the way she foiled the maid and the daughter was magnificent!

When we began this weeks readings about the erotic, i must admit i was a little aprehensive to what we were going to talk about in class and where these conversations might lead. I think what i came to find was a more positive expereince than i was anticipating. I enjoyed in the Lorde piece how we uncovered just what the erotic really is, its not pornography, its actually quite the opposite. The erotic i discovered is all about moving mind to body and recognizing these feelings and knowing that it is okay to feel them. i think its so interesting to hear these words coming from a woman even still because it seems so taboo. in almost every piece of work we read the idea of woman and erotic seems taboo for it to be something sensual not sexual. one of the ideas i found most interesting that was brought up in class was about the last piece we read where the older woman wants to cheat on her husband to be with a younger man. throughout the reading her circumstance is thought as commical. i guess i didnt even notice this until it was said in class and then i just began to think about how it really is such a double standard and that if that story were turned around and about a man it really wouldnt be thought of as uncommon. That is an issue that i regretfully have to say will probably always remain in our lives simply because of our past and i dont think it will ever be as acceptable for a woman to do things like date a younger man without it being something completely taboo. this week definetly opened my eyes more to realize what the erotic really is, and how it is easily seen as something different by others.

I was really excited when we found out that our readings for the week were going to be over the topic/theme of "Desire." I automatically began to think they were going to be pieces containing elements of romance, allure, lust, and/or basically anything sexual. After reading the pieces it became bluntly clear to me that the word "Desire" can be interpreted in so many more ways, it is actually much more complex than one would assume it to be. Desire, described by these women, was so much deeper. I believe the way these women wrote about desire, they allowed me to see that you can find desire in the world all around you. For example, you can find desire in your work, your family, literature, art, food...there are really so many possibilities.
My favorite piece by far would have to be Jeanette Winterson's, "The Poetics of Sex." I really fell in love with it. I loved the way she painted her words the whole way through the piece. The words and language she used just seemed to have such a beautiful fluidity from the beginning to end. I also really appreciated the fact that she brought a light humor to her work. The whole piece had me entranced; I would love to read more of her work.

The readings this week were especially interesting because the topic of desire is rarely discussed. I personally have always thought of desire as what I have seen in movies or read in books. After finishing the Audre Lorde piece, I was left thinking about how she perceives desire. I then realized that I, as an individual, don't have a solid definition for what I understand as desire. The piece that has resonated the most is Winterson's "The poetics of Sex." I thought it was beautiful how she took a very taboo topic and confronted some of the most controversial issues in a somewhat humors manner. Her language is engaging because of her sentence structure and metaphors. All of the characters were seeking approval of others. A large example of this was in "The Picture" the mother and the little girl are searching and worried they won't have the approval of others. These readings all intertwine the emotion of desire and include the different obstacles in defining who you truly are.

I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that we read it most recently, but Nawal al-Saadawi's "The Picture" has been resonating pretty stubbornly with me since then. It's a bit more relatable in a lot of ways. Of course I never caught my dad with a thirteen year old, but I know what it is like to idolize a parent and how that severely inhibits natural growth and progression. And who doesn't go through that at some point in their lives? It's different than the other pieces in that sexual desire is only an undertone of this story, and desire for acceptance is in the forefront. In many ways the two often combine, not so much that I've observed in the desire pieces but examples across humanity and culture. In many cases, people seek out intimacy as reassurance to their acceptability and desirability. It's an interesting mix of emotion.

I have always viewed desire as a primarily personal feeling before the readings for this week. A person's feelings were acted upon one's self, another or an object but the feeling did not have to be validated, reciprocated or even acknowledged in order for the desire to be present,. It was an experience that could only truly be understood or truly felt by the individual having the emotion. These pieces we read for this week really changed how I viewed societies overall affect on the idea of desire. The characters in these stories were always seeking the approval of the other individuals in the story. However it was when the influence of these outside forces were negated that the characters could claim their bodies and minds more fully. The Winterson piece shows her subversion of the questions from society. She gains power from distorting what the reader already thinks they know about her sexuality. She defines who and why she desires, we do not. She is in complete control. In the Kinsey report the women who says little about her sex life is completely controlled by the perceptions and feelings of her daughters and therefore does not have a healthy relationship. She is worried about the example she sets for her daughters and therefore relinquishes her sexuality to societal norms and the will of her children. In the "Picture" pieces both the little girl and the older woman are concerned with the perceptions of other people. The older woman is not concerned with how the affair will affect her husband or her moral standing but how she will appear to the other women around her or younger men. Her desire to feel loved and accepted is hindered by how she believes she will appear to others. The little girl in the other story is upset with the thought of societal disapproval of her sexual exploration. She wishes the servant girl would validate the way she is feeling about her body but is afraid to ask. In the end however she is able to shed the fears of disapproval from her father because she now knows he is not the all knowing man she has made him out to be. She is free of this and can now make a proper concept of her desires and feelings.

This week's readings all carried the same theme of desire; however, each piece addressed desire differently. Rosario Castellanos's "Kinsey Report" resonated with me the most specifically the first answer. Each of the six answers is short, yet pointed. The first answer is from an unhappily married woman, but what strikes me the most is her view of desire. Her answer indicates that she does not have desire "No, I don't like anything special/ Anyhow I'm not supposed to like it./ Because I'm a decent woman" (33). This unveils the idea that women do not desire sex, or it is wrong for them to do so. In turn, this makes women objects of male desire. In three short lines, Castellanos vocalizes the feelings that most women have about desire. It has never been feminized, but it is acted upon female bodies by males "[making] use of [their] rights" and it leaves womanly desire as a means of reproduction or prostituion (33). Double standards exist everywhere in society, and desire is not an exception. If anything it is the rule. Women are left to hide their desire or to believe it is indecent to explore and express. I would like to say this view is outdated and society has changed in the last twenty years, but that would be lying.

All the readings this week were an enjoyable venture into a taboo topic. I especially enjoyed the contrast of the Lourde and Winterson pieces that we read for Tuesday. In Lourde's piece she approached desire in a practical way: thinking out of the box and exploring the different ways that desire can appear in every day life. It can be a lust for anything, it doesn't have to necessarily be inherently sexual. And I enjoyed that, it made the topic a bit more relatable and approachable to we women not as comfortable with our own eroticism. Then on the other side of this we have the Winterson piece, which slaps you in the face with its blunt approach to sexuality. Though Wintereson's writing is rich with poetic metaphor the not-very-hidden meanings behind her words are quite vulgar, and extremely blunt. This is a woman who embraces her sexuality with a no-holds-barred type of attitude. All the readings for this week were interesting, but I especially enjoyed the contrast between these two.

I am having a really fun time with the recent readings because of my own personal interest in understanding sex and sexuality. I draw a lot of parallels between this weeks readings and a book I am currently reading titled "The Ethical Slut". After reading Audre Lorde and Jeanette Winterson I quickly started working on writings of my own, as if they had unlocked some door to information I did not realize I possessed. I feel empowered to re-understand eroticism, and desire and what is natural. I remember when I was a about seven or so going into the bathroom while my stepfather was bathing to ask him questions. I was simply fascinated by him as he reclined in the tub reading books, while his penis would float in the water. He did not seem to care that he was exposed and never made me feel uncomfortable about coming to talk with him about whatever it was I had to say. My mother was the same way, floating down the stairs still glistening naked from a shower and performing some routine task like answering the phone. I did not desire my stepfather or my mother in an unhealthy way, I desired information. I wanted to know where their confidence in their bodies stemmed from. When I was 13, I saw a 3 year old girl sit on her father lap wearing only a t-shirt. He immediately slapped her multiple times and told her to get some underwear on. He scolded her by saying she should not be climbing on him with no underwear on. Moments like these are so pivotal in developing our understanding of desire and eroticism.

I have really enjoyed our readings on desire. Many lines from the Winterson piece have stayed in my head, and I find that I want to read it again, because I am sure that I missed so much the first couple times. I think that Lorde and Winterson's pieces complicated my previous idea of desire. When I hear desire, I think erotic. And when I think erotic, I think sex. But the erotic is not just confined to a lustful want for physical intimacy. It is refreshing to see eroticism as an awareness of your own power and wants. Eroticism is to own yourself, and to feel everything. In Winterson's Poetics of Sex, her writing and descriptions is such a mix of beauty and violence, and smell and color. She is writing about a deep connection to another person, and how she sees them, but also herself in this relationship. I love this idea that it should be "I love to you" rather than "I love you". From these readings, I appreciate that desire is not all about a want for someone else. In recognizing that want, and in feeling erotic, you are becoming closer to yourself.

I'm sure there are better articles on this topic, but this was the one I was referring to. It's from 2007:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/198991/purity_balls_smart_thinking_or_creepy_pg2.html?cat=23

I must admit, I have had a lot of fun with this week's readings! I have noticed a common theme throughout all of the readings, whether it was just briefly mentioned or the main idea of the piece: desire is based on the want to rebel against what one must obey. Growing up, I'm sure we all experienced a time, or several times, when our parents have told us that we could not do something that we somewhat wanted to do, and suddenly we have a burning desire to do it, simply because we know that we can't. I find this truly fascinating! I'm not sure if this is completely obvious to everyone else and I'm just not as quick to realizing this, but I feel the need to express it nonetheless. For me, it was a belly button piercing and getting a facebook, which I eventually was able to get thanks to my incredible ability to persuade my mother ;). What was it for everyone else? Did you ever get what you wanted? I'd love to know!

I really enjoyed the last week's reading selections. I appreciated the fact that they brought a whole new light to the idea of motherhood. They were not your "typical" stories you would assume to read when the topic in mind is "motherhood." I thought they were all extremely powerful, brave pieces that brought very important issues to the surface. My favorite reading would probably have to be "Cinnamon" because it dealt with the pressures and expectations young women all over the world are forced to deal with. I thought that this piece was especially important because it addressed the taboo issue of abortion. I loved Shafak's characterization of Zeliha. She was rebellious, brass, independent, courageous, and yet underneath it all she was just like any other young 19 year old girl who was desperately seeking the approval and support of her family and the world around her. Shafak's piece was really a joy for me to read because it brought humor, excitement, and truth all together to address an issue about the hardships and serious decisions a woman faces when entering motherhood.

I believe that the writers composed these stories to fight the cliches of motherhood. As we discussed in class, the typical phrases that describe motherhood (nurturing, loving, comforting, et cetera) can severely limit women everywhere. It eliminates their personal qualities and struggles, and redefines them solely as a child-bearer. These stories depict that the women have struggles (both emotional and physical) outside of their children and household duties. Each piece displays both a positive quality of a mother and the consequences that can accompany motherhood. "Cinnamon"describes the life-changing aspect of pregnancy and the difficult decision with continuing it. "Firstborn" involves the loss involved with losing a child both emotionally and physically. "The Stolen Child" mentions the glamorous outside and sometimes obnoxious inside of child-rearing. These pieces both speak of individual women struggling and an even larger message of the personal trials and tribulations behind giving life to another.

I guess when I think of the term "motherhood," in the simplest sense to me, it is the thing that separates the two genders. Female-bodied women are expected to become mothers and experience motherhood, whereas male-bodied people are not. In this way, exploring motherhood become a way to explore the reproductive difference between the two sexes. It's interesting that this could be why this topic is something that is kind of taboo to explore in a negative sense for writers, which makes it all the more necessary for writers to explore. As we talked about in class, the mainstream idea of what motherhood does to a woman is always portrayed as extremely positive. We have all heard the stories of the woman who puts her children before everything else her life, yet the stories of women who don't accept motherhood as the missing piece of the puzzle in their life or don't seem to really care about the children they have are always in a negative light. (Not saying that women who don't care about their children are some sort of heroes, or even that they are in the right. They are always just immediately placed in a negative category without much understanding of their situation.) Remember Britney's meltdown? How many times was she trashed for not being a good mother to her kids? Think about how often we hear about fathers just paying child support without experiencing "fatherhood." Are they ever crucified nearly as much as women? Double Standard? That's why I think it is extremely important that these issues need to be explored, especially in the study of gender. We see all different women across the spectrum, from the girl who wants an abortion who decided to keep the baby, to the woman who doesn't care about two of her kids, to the woman who steals a kid and doesn't want it afterwards. Seeing into these characters situations allows us to see deeper into the issue of motherhood and see the negative aspects of it, not just all the amazing great things mainstream culture has made us believe.

I think that the reading this week was very interesting. All the reading, just make me see the "unhappy" side of motherhood. I know it is a very bad thing to think that motherhood is not a wonderful thing but the reading this week just enforce the idea that motherhood is not fun. I mean yes, motherhood is a wonderful thing that can change a girl life forever but its the fact that you give up so much just to make another life happy, sometime its totally worth it but many of the time many people regretted their decisions and never really express that they regretted it. What really struck me to say this is the line from Yvonne Vera, "Who baby is it", the line: "A newly born baby, the mother thought, a new life. It grieved her to think of it, but especially to think of her own little girl, whom she is raising alone" this line just totally make me think that wow, even though it's is a new life, it just make it sad to think that the mom is raising the kid alone and it is not what she wanted. She want to raise her baby with her husband and the fact that she is a single mom just make everything so sad. Although, she never said directly to her child or anyone else that she is sad somehow I have a feeling that deep down she is actually grieving at herself, at her decisions to make such a big decisions that had change her life forever. Sometime, the media just portray motherhood as the most happiest thing ever and this week reading just made me realize that it's not like that. I am just amazed that how powerful a women is to keep her feeling all inside and to push forward for her kid. Thats why I admired motherhood. i just really do.

I have always had a veiw of mothers as nurturing and caring people. In these stories it has put motherhood to the test. Like in the story "First Born" I just wanted to cry the whole time i was reading that story. That mother made me just want to stangle her. How can a person just care about only one of her children. She gave birth to all three not just one. Yes maybe your other two children might not be the perfect children but that shouldnt make a parent love their child any less. Also with her loosing her son in the end that mother in my opinion like i said in class got what she deserved. She should have treated her kids the same and she would have had two shoulders to cry on instead of none. This piece was very hard for me to read becuase i could never imagine my life without my mother caring about me and my sister the same. This for any child would be devistating.

Kristina Korsunsky

The four readings of this week, I feel, challenge the perception of Motherhood. I often view mothers in a dichotomy of the "good mother" and the "bad mother". The former being a warm, loving, patient selfless woman who devotes her life to her children, and the latter being a cold, neglectful, harsh woman who should never have had children to begin with. The "good mother" figure is often portrayed as a woman without an identity outside that of a mother, without a "self". It is as though she has been waiting her entire life to be awakened to purpose, the purpose of raising a child.

In the piece "Whose Baby Is It", the mother figure is what one would consider the "good mother," she is patient, compassionate, and loving, yet her image is shattered as a perfect mother when it is discovered that she had considered an abortion. The idea of abortion does not fit into my perception of the "good mother".

The story "Cinnamon" also challenges the idea of the mother. Shafak's description of Zeliha encompasses little of what one would expect of a mother. Zeliha appears to be a woman who is autonomous, somewhat self-centered, potentially irresponsible, and, in general, lacking in "maternal" qualities. This character also challenges the idea that a mother's identity is defined by having a child. Zeliha has a strong personality and is having a child, there is little in the story to indicate that she would identify herself first as a mother then as a woman.

The stories "Firstborn" and "The Stolen Child" do not just challenge the idea of motherhood, but further challenge the miracle of childbirth. I do not mean the act of giving birth but the idea that having a child is nothing less than a miracle. "Firstborn" illustrates that birth can be a burden, coming from sexual abuse and can result in alienation from one's family. This story also touches on the taboo of a mother's love for her children not necessarily being all encompassing and equal. In "The Stolen Child", ignoring the fact the "mother" in the story is not technically the child's mother; the idea that a mother's love is unconditional is challenged. The child is depicted as anything but a miracle, constantly screaming and dirtying its diaper, and the "mother" realizes that having a child is not what one dreams of and gives it up.

The readings this week also challenge one's perceptions of the woman who would have an abortion. Shafak and Vera introduce to very different characters that struggle or at some point struggled with the choice of abortion. Despite the fact that the characters have very different personality types (similar to the "good" and "bad" mother) they are united in their inner and outer struggles with abortion. Comparing these stories implies that there is no type of person who would or would not have an abortion.

Reading across all for stories, in my opinion, has offered a separate challenge. I fell these stories beg one to look past their preconceptions, associated with titles or actions, to the character (or person) behind the title or action.

Usually, motherhood is not interesting. Woman gets pregnant, woman has child. Woman adores the child. Child loves woman. Woman is satisfied because she has a child. Stories about motherhood are boring. Unless it's a recently divorced single parent (Kate+8 anybody?), or your children are the Jonas Brothers. The pieces that we have been reading, however, have an unexpected complexity, drifting far from the accounts as so often described in children's books and T.V. shows. The authors of these pieces have chosen to allow the audience to see deep into the mothers' minds. And the mind... well the mind is an overpopulated goldmine of unmentionable things. Taboo stories, in my opinion, are the most powerful of stories. The interesting thing about the whole idea is that many of the "taboo" ideas don't seem taboo to me at all. For example, I can name multiple battered women's shelters in the area. Is it because I'm female that domestic violence is not taboo to me?

I enjoyed the readings from this week because the content was confrontational and encouraged us to engage into the readings further. The stories were based off of the struggles of motherhood, some being; shame, lack of support, and opposing societal norms. At first I found it intriguing that in Cinnamon Shafak wrote about abortion because it is a taboo subject to write about, but I have to admit that I was a little disappointed with the fact that in the end Zeliha doesn't get the abortion. (Not for the sake of the child, but for the story). It only made me question her intentions for writing about abortion in the first place. I feel that by not getting the abortion, the piece really isn't that taboo. Yes, it does confront the issue of abortion, but I feel that the story isn't as powerful because she doesn't follow through with the "unusual" and resorts back to the "normal". This also made me question whether Shafak's decision to not have Zeliha follow through with the abortion was influenced by her own life, and how she would have been viewed had she written about a woman following through with an abortion.

I really enjoyed this week's readings. I liked that they explored topics not usually talked about or written about. Some of the topics reminded me of the book 'Ordinary People' by Judith Guest. In that book, one of the sons dies in the family and everything starts to fall apart. But no one wants to talk about it; they just feel like they have to keep it together. The author writes about those things that were supposed to be hidden, just like in these pieces. By reading all of these pieces together, we can see all of the issues of motherhood on the same light. I think one thing that is especially important is that motherhood doesn't always start as a joyful happy thing. Sometimes women don't plan on having children, and having a child under unfortunate circumstances doesn't make them anticipate bringing a new life into the world. All of these stories bring that to the table. Motherhood definitely isn't always what it is stereotyped as: exciting, lovely, gentle, miraculous, and planned to bring 'new life' into this world. Sometimes, like in these stories, having a child isn't planned. It isn't anticipated then, if there are limited resources. Yes, having a child is a gift, but it isn't always all awesome, like its 'supposed' to be. Also, mothers can't be superwoman all the time, which a lot of times women write about. No one was the stereotypical superwoman in these stories, and I appreciated that.

These women writers bring up these subjects of motherhood because they simply are the natural, harsh realities concealed within the splendor, like bare skin beneath makeup. They strip away the surface and introduce to us the nakedness and vulnerable hearts we, as the viewers, often overlook. When read alongside together, the power of the pieces multiplies enormously and we gain a completely new view of the realism and genuine meaning of motherhood. It's not rainbow and butterflies, it's pain, suffering, and compromise. For example, "The Bastard of Istanbul" illustrates the character, Zeliha, as a naive and rebellious nineteen year old who is careless of her traditions. Shafak purposely builds a stereotype around her, and we immediately would assume that she, in regard to her abortion, would never have the tenacity to raise a child when she herself had seemed to have not yet developed a mature and nurturing mentality. Like the other writers have done, Shafak then strips Zeliha of her perceived image, and we come to find that what is truly underneath her image is someone who is even of more intrigue. We just simply enjoy the exposure of vulnerabilities because we spend so much time masking our own. These women writers harness the truth, and sometimes the ugliest of the truth is the most captivating.

The pieces we have read this week tackle issues that are not commonly discussed. What I found very intriguing was that even though Shafak and Vera tackled issues such as abortion, the story also addresses the decisions of the mothers. What stuck out in both pieces to me were the authors demonstrating the troubles faced by being a mother. First, in the Shafak piece it was weather to even have the baby or not. In addition, the Vera piece was about the mother contemplating what the best response was to her daughter on such a complicated issue she once faced herself. It seems that each one of the pieces from this week, the writers was inserting harsh issues to help address the struggles of motherhood. The reader gained an insight into the thoughts that were running through the women's minds. The personal struggles they faced when being a mother. It was inspiring how the women writers incorporated such taboo issues to exemplify the complexities of motherhood.

As we gathered ideas about motherhood, I found it interesting that most of the ideas were negative. In addition, it was something that got us heartbreaking. As I read "Firstborn", one thing that got my attention was religion. At the beginning of the story, Pauline gave up on religion after she conceived Dwayne. She also disliked how religious Dwayne was. However, at the end of story, we see a different view of Pauline. As she was walking to the police station to find out what happened to Dwayne, we get a feeling of what is going through her mind and its "Jesus Please Jesus please." I found that interesting because I think, we are prone to have religious value when we feel something bad happened or is going to happen. By having faith, we believe, will reassure us that everything will be okay and I think that is why McKenzie incorporated religion in her story.

When I think of women writers many words come into my head such as: survival, strength, inspirational, loud, brave, underrepresented, storytellers, warriors, diva(yes i said it), healer, gatekeeper, secrets...the list goes on and on. All of the readings we have done thus far have made me contemplate one word I do not always think of when I imagine women writers, and that is "motherhood". I have thought back to my own mother and her decision to keep me amidst the many people in our family advising her on how hard it would be to have a black baby in Wisconsin. My grandmother even went so far as to offer to pretend that she had adopted me, to hide the fact that my 16 year old mother had ever been pregnant by a black man. Many of the authors we have read about this week and in previous weeks, such as Judith Ortiz Cofer, have made me contemplate this aspect of motherhood. Judith grew up in different worlds and struggled for her identity, and her mother worked hard to give her one side of that identity. How will I teach my children? What aspects of my culture will I take the time to enact for them or incorporate in their everyday lives?

All the stories we read this week on motherhood addressed certain uncomfortable topics surrounding it. I think that has been an important aspect of the reading. Motherhood is a complicated topic, and it is far too often glossed over and portrayed as easy, full of love, and the standard of what it is to be a "woman". The stories have gotten down to the nitty-gritty. The subject of unwanted births is present in many of the stories. In "Bastard of Istanbul" Zeliha struggles with the prospect of terminating her pregnancy. In "Whose Baby Is It?" the mother in the story must confront her own past and how she had considered abandoning her child, and having to explain to her daughter that this terrible phenomenon exists in the world. "The Stolen Child" also deals with the regret of having a child, when the main character rejects the child she stole once she discovers it is a boy. These issues are a reality, and they ought not be ignored. I thought it was very empowering of the authors of these pieces to address these issues.

The stories we have read this week have been....interesting. The one that really intrigued me the most though was the "Firstborn" piece. Right from when I read the first line, I began thinking: How do parents really answer this question? I know that parents say that they love all their children equally, but in their hearts, what are they really saying? When we were younger, my brothers and I would always get into arguments because they would say how our mom favors me over them (I am the youngest of 5 kids), but I always envied all of the things that they got to do that I couldn't. So, I always thought that they were favored. Now, however, we don't argue about it anymore. But I still wonder. Are there hidden feelings that resonate in parents' hearts that they never express? How are these feelings formed? In families like mine where all of the children get equal amounts of attention, are there still favored children? I think I'm going to need to have a talk with my mother... ;)

All four stories we discussed in class involved hard-to-tackle issues related to motherhood. While the Shafak and Vera pieces centrally involve either abortion or infanticide, all four pieces include the broader idea of the fragility and value of life itself.
In Vera's "Whose Baby Is It?" a dead infant is found near the trash. This image alone might leave the reader disturbed, but even worse worries surface upon a further reading: the mother is not necessarily surprised by this situation; she instead recalls almost landing in the same situation, one where she herself had to decide the value of her own daughter's life. In "Cinnamon," Zeliha makes a similar choice about her unplanned child. McKenzie's piece shows the frailty of the mother's life through the loss of her beloved son and the impact of his death. Lastly, Boylan's story includes the image of a drowning baby. This story might uniquely show the endurance of life; even a seemingly "helpless" baby can learn how to kick and swim when life calls for it.

testtesttesttesttesttesttesttestwooO!

This week's readings covered uncomfortable topics about motherhood such as abortion, infanticide, kidnapping, and favoritism. Some of the stories were more difficult to read than others, but one left me completely uneasy. Unfortunately I was reading Clare Boylan's " The Stolen Child" in public or I probably would have cried. The thought of someone stealing another woman's baby and then almost killing him set me on edge. I wanted to yell "What the hell are you doing!" when she "lifted Vera onto the broad edge of the bridge, hooked his little jumper onto a spike and left him there, peering quite serenely into the water" (217). And to find out at the end of the story that the mother did not care that her baby was stolen was sickening. . I believe Boylan wrote this story to make readers ill at ease, to make us think about these issues, and to evoke emotion with this issue. I took care of my baby nephew this summer and spent every day with him. I will admit that the crying was unnerving, but only a day after I left, I missed him. If an aunt feels this connection, shouldn't a mother's connection be 100 times stronger?

I think that the compilation of motherhood readings this week are all quite daring in some way. We tend to view mothers almost as not even humans anymore, they are meant to have unconditional commitment and love for their children. We expect all mothers to be nurturing, even if they are not nurturing as people. As soon as a woman has a child, she is then a mother, and everything in her personality will shift and bend to accommodate the traits needed in a mother. These readings approached motherhood from a completely different angle. Perhaps most importantly, these readings allowed the mother characters to maintain their own identity and personalities as people. The mothers in these readings are honest, selfish, foolish, harsh, cold, and troubled. Although often this meant that the readings were somewhat uncomfortable or disturbing, it is refreshing to read about mothers who are complicated, real people, and not just defined by their motherhood.

The title "Mother" raises many descriptions: kind, compassionate, understanding, pure, and selfless. Through our readings, I am discovering that motherhood is not as simple as picking a child up from the bus stop and wiping away their fears of the boogeyman; it is a sacrifice and an excursion. Elif Shafak's "Cinnamon" moved me through its trinity of societal, religious, and political views on abortion. Shafak extracts the taboo subject of abortion from a political landscape and plants it into a personal expedition to give life to Zehila instead of minimizing her to her decision to abort her child. This piece was moving for me because I tire of the political duel between the ass and the elephant; Zehila's actions were beyond a bill or law. "There was something in the color white that resembled silence. Both were emptied of life," states Zehila, previous to the procedure. Shafak writes this piece to illuminate the journey of motherhood beyond pure white canvassed ideology; by letting her child live, Zehila embraced color and consequently embraced life.

I'm hoping this woks.

Anyway, in response to the prompt. I think that when writers write, it's more about acknowledging the subjects at hand. They tackle issues that are deemed "taboo" because no one wants to write about them. People find motherhood an extremely special thing. It's beautiful and magical, and almost every woman dreams of having a kid. But the norm is that only women who are married should have kids. People look down upon women who have kids, but no husbands. I find it interesting that in the "Bastard of Istanbul" piece, Zeliha was going against the norms of society by the way she dressed, talk, and acted. She was young, without a husband, pregnant, and about to have an abortion. That itself goes against the norms of her society--and then she keeps the baby. It's almost as if, whatever she does, she is going against the norms of her society. It bothers me sometimes that people can be so judgmental. If one person were to break those "rules" they would be a disgrace. I think it's unfair that people abide to such norms, and shun those who are different or those who don't follow those norms.

Here is an NPR interview with Elif Shafak:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7217653&sc=emaf