now's the part of the show where I read letters from my viewers
My dad wants to share with you all a political satire that he put together. Last names have been omitted to protect the anonymity of the individual parties.
LAURA "What is it George?"
GEORGE "Well, I’m kinda nervous about the upcoming debate.
You know how I am about public speaking. Once in awhile I
say something apropos. (chuckle) I like that word—
apt pro-pole. (pause) You know I’d feel better if Dick could
do the debate for me."
LAURA "But the Vice-President has his own debate."
GEORGE "Yeah, I know. But Dick’s used to saying things I’m not allowed to
say, like if Americans elect Kerry we’ll get attacked by terrorists."
LAURA (trying another tact) "Well, George I don’t know if Dick’s heart is
up to it."
GEORGE "His heart?! Heck, it’s better than Bill Clinton’s."
LAURA "I’m sorry, but what does Clinton’s heart have to do with this?"
GEORGE "What’s he got to do with it? Well, he beat my dad in the election.
That’s another thing I got to get even for, for Dad.
And secondly, did you notice the timing of Clinton’s heart
surgery—right after my convention. Leave it to Willie to try to cut
into my convention bounce."
LAURA "You’ll do just fine George, if you remember everything Karl told
you. Now, when a question arises on the economy, you say . . . ?"
GEORGE "Steady and strong"
LAURA "And, when issues about the war are raised . . . ?"
GEORGE "Got to stay the course."
LAURA "Good. Now if the debate turns to a comparison between yours and
Kerry’s experience regarding Vietnam, you respond by saying . . .?"
GEORGE "I didn’t throw my Purple Hearts and medals of valor away. I didn’t
come back from Vietnam and criticize the war."
LAURA "Very good. And, if there is a question you’re unsure of how to
answer . . .?"
GEORGE "I switch to speaking Spanish."
LAURA "Bravo. But remember this quote from Lincoln above all else . . ."
GEORGE (interrupting) "I know. I know. You can fool some of the people
all of the time!"