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Julio 26, 2004

Quick, said the bird, find them, find them

OK folks, here's the update.

This week I sweat and intoxicate myself with windex fumes as I scramble to clean my apartment.

Saturday I leave.
I travel home to Illinois.
I travel to Pittsburgh.
I get to Pittsburgh next Tuesday.
I get sucked into a black hole and study for the rest of my life.

Now here's the question of the hour: What's the future of this blog?

Two issues come up. (1) I'm not sure how long I keep the x500 password for the U of MN. Once that's gone, I can't author this thing any longer.
(2) Understatement: I'm going to be busy.

Here's the deal. If anybody out there is interested in the preservation of this blog, they can do a few things to help me out. First of all, they can pass along the word to anyone else who might get some mild amusement out of my blog. Second, I need you all to contribute, contribute, contribute. The only way this page will stay active is if other people write things as well. I'll do my best to get things rolling but from there, I need some help.

(Now look, if there's not really many people out there who have a great interest in keeping this blog going, then I'm not hurt. It'll probably save me time so I get some more productive things done. I shall simply follow the will of the people.)

If you've found any of the previous topics I've put up worthwhile, then do please continue to comment on them. Otherwise, here's three new ones to start you off.

1.) What are the conventions when it comes to tipping hair stylists? Does it depend on the place (e.g., Juut as compared to Great Clips as compared to an independent salon)?
2.) What are the fundamental belief differences between Shiite and Sunni Muslims? (I used to know this but I forgot, I think it's something about where a certain holy site is located???)
3.) Ax=b is a 3x3 matrix. Say that for this matrix, a solution does exist for every possible b. How is this situation conceptualized in geometric space?

OK, I don't know if #3 is even a valid question (serves me right for trying to ask a question about math).

Have fun!


Julio 25, 2004

there's a scrabble word for ya

I wrote this out on paper a few nights ago. I don't have much time to type it up now so forgive any typos....

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, liminality refers to the threshold at which we may begin to consciously perceive sensory stimuli. Hence words like 'subliminal,'--below the threshold of conscious perception.

Sounds clear enough. But recently, 'liminality' has become something of a buzzword amongst academics and other articulate types. The term broadly denotes any and all things related to the transition between one state and the next. And chances are, the transition will not be a quick blip in time, but a drawn-out phenomenon that may be explored just as much as the events that precede and succeed it.

These liminal 'border spaces' frequently take on a supernatural feel. Think of the liminal experience you undergo every morning, as grey turns into light turns into the shapes of your everyday existence. But what if someone whispered the most fantastic lie into your ear as you are coming back to consciousness ("You're being pulled by a golden pegasus to the depths of ancient Mesopotamia...") For a foggy second, you might halfway buy it. Of course, the moment ends and you realize that the depths of Mesopotamia are now Iraq and 10,000 winged horses couldn't drag you there.

But the illusions of liminality don't necessarily rely on compromised consciousness. Major life transitions pull the same tricks on us while we're fully awake.

Friday was my last day working at the U of MN. This week is my final week in Minnesota. And already, my eyes have begun to paint a shimmery gloss over the people & places I have known. To understand the feeling, think of the last time you left a familiar environment: high school, college, a job, a neighborhood. Remember how the elements of your soon-to-be-former life, ranging from the mundane to the slightly aversive, became strangely attractive? That annoying colleague or classmate becomes endearingly quirky, the ordinarily tedious task fills with purpose, and you walk around with sappy songs running through your head ("It's so ha-a-a-rd...to say-ey-ay good-byyye..."

But it's not just your surroundings that are blessed by this temporary delirium--your departure marks a transition for all those that interact with you, and if you're lucky, they might look upon you with an equally sunny, all-forgiving gaze. At least until you leave. Then they can resume complaining about all your irritating habits...As you can resume complaining about theirs.

I should interject here that the majority of the people I have interacted with here in Minnesota and at my workplace have been very decent individuals whose good qualities far outweigh any irritating habits they might have. But we all know that there are unpleasantries in even the best of situations that we gloss over when that situation is about to pass away.

Ah, self-induced illusions, the stuff life is made of. Where does this one come from? I'll cite two possible factors that may be involved. The first is a decision theory concept that's very near and dear to me: loss aversion. Behavioral economists will tell you that you place a high value on possessions when you face the prospect of losing them--even if you cared little about those possessions initially. You don't know what you have until it's almost gone. Of course, the effect might generalize beyond possessions, to people, your social role, the place where you live. Why do we suddenly cling to that which previously gave us little pleasure is a mystery. I mean, I'm sure it's been studied to death, but I don't have the answer.

Second: the light at the end of the tunnel. The idea is, we *want* to enjoy our lives, we want to perceive our lives positively, but happiness can often prove as effortful as any other behavior we pursue. And we've only got so much energy to spend. So when we look ahead to years of the same drudgery, the effort hardly seems worth it--"there's no way I can keep up this happy act for a whole year, why do it today?" It's much like pacing yourself during a long race. You leave the sprint to the end.

Whatever the motivation, we obviously strip reality away from a situation when it's one that we're about to leave. And by so doing we prematurely translate the present into past: we're looking at our immediate surroundings with the same nostalgia we feel towards things that don't exist anymore. No wonder people conceptualize liminality as a space that we inhabit, rather than a border we cross. We alienate ourselves from the present, calling it the past before we've even reached the future.

For these few moments, we live on a blank page. The present reality places no restrictions on us because we've already relegated it to the past. And the future--the future could be anything. Yeah, you say I'm going to Pittsburgh to be locked down in a doctoral program for the rest of my youthful days, but do we really know that? What could happen en route to Pennsylvania? Maybe some stranger will stop me at an Indiana truck stop and I'll look up from my mashed potatoes and say yes, I'll be happy to travel cross-country with you and we go to California and I join a hippie commune and sell organic peanut-butter from a roadside stand. Or a golden pegasus will fly me off to the depths of Mesopotamia. You see, we just never know.

Look, I know where I'm headed and what I must do. But what I'm saying is that nothing in my current environment forces me to accept that reality. At least for now. So here I am in the borderlands, the land 'where three dreams cross' as good buddy TS Eliot would say (Eliot was obsessed with liminality). So I greet you from this place. What's the landscape like? A little unnerving and liberating at the same time. It's a fertile time for reflection--that big, grand scale reflection, the kind where you perceive your life as one long span stretching between birth and death, a series of hills and valleys and you're still trying to figure out if you're heading upward or downward. It's an Odyessus-like effect: Here I am, the epic adventurer, fighting my epic battles, negotiating with the gods, witnessing miracles. Melodramatic I know. But it doesn't hurt anyone.

Julio 24, 2004

The homeless do not need buckets of potato salad

Ok, I just received the following email from the volunteer coordinator at Simpson Housing Services. I don't think she'll mind if I post it, because it will help get the word out. In short, Simpson Housing Services' emergency shelter (on 1st St in Minneapolis, just a few blocks off of Lake, let me know and I can give better directions) is in dire need of supplies. What frustrates me is that so many people donate to the homeless, but they don't know what is most needed, so they end up giving food that just sits in the shelter refrigerator until someone throws it out, or they give all the free shampoo and conditioner bottles that they got at the Holiday Inn and these just pile up in cardboard boxes that are about to burst. Look, these things all get used, to an extent, but not in the bulk quantities that the shelter receives. Erstwhile, what people really need is basics like clean underwear and shaving cream. Ah, and the sandwiches thing: if you want to make sandwiches for Simpson, what you do is buy a loaf of bread and some lunchmeat and cheese and maybe some mayo or mustard. Put the sandwiches together and then put them back into the bag that the loaf came in. I mean, I guess you could do things otherwise, but that's kind of the Simpson way. The shelter guests take these sandwiches during the day so they have something for lunch.

Anyways, here's the email:
Hello Simpson Housing Supporters!
>
>I am hoping you can help us find some items that we urgently need. The
>items are listed below in order of importance:
>
>Sandwiches - we will be out by Sunday!
>Shaving cream - we are completely out!
>Underwear - for men and women, we are completely out!
>
>
>If you could deliver any of these items to the shelter, we would be very
>grateful!
>
>Donation times are:
>Weekdays 9:30 AM - 4:30 PM, 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
>Weekends 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM
>
>When delivering, please use the shelter door on the 28th street side of the
>building and ring the intercom. Please call with any questions!
>
>Christina Giese
>Volunteer Coordinator
>
>Simpson Housing Services
>2740 First Avenue South
>Minneapolis, MN 55408
>(612) 874-8683 ext 219
>(612) 879-0041 fax
>cgiese@simpsonhousing.org
>www.simpsonhousing.org

Julio 22, 2004

industriousness

Hi, I've just got way too much to wrap up here at work to write anything at the moment. Hopefully tomorrow or Saturday I'll get something respectable up. Until then, I still welcome the scintillating commentary of my readers...

Julio 21, 2004

any day now...

Yes, I know, you're still sharpening your #2 pencils. But I have faith, I know I can convince the internet community to discuss insanely arcane questions...

Julio 20, 2004

Clearly I have underestimated the sophistication of my audience

All these questions have been too easy. I mean, I didn't know the answers, but I put them out there and I get responses within a few hours. It's like looking into the face of the oracle.

Clearly I have underestimated the sophistication of my audience. For this reason I have drafted three questions that are surely more deserving of your wisdom.

1.) Do the overwhelming expenses of research and development justify the high costs that the pharmaceutical industry places on drugs? Or are these companies engaging in unethical profiteering?

2.) Will the United States' role as global superpower be taken over by another nation? If so: When, by which country, and under what circumstances? If not, what will account for America's continued dominance?

3.) What conditions, if any, disrupt the assumed sanctity of individual human life? And if no such conditions exist, why not?

There ya go. Pick a question and run with it. Sarcastic one-liners won't count--we're interested in real answers. Happy cogitation!

Julio 19, 2004

so you think you're smart, do ya?

Here's a question I forgot to list yesterday, and it's the toughest one of all:

What are the names of the two old men that sit in the balcony during the Muppet Show?

Julio 18, 2004

The title of the last entry was taken from a cartoon that I saw in the City Pages. To give credit where is credit due, I include it below.

TMW05-19-04.gif

This morning I was at Stone Arch Coffee & Tea. (Be sure to support this place--it's a wonderful bohemian refuge close to the intersection of 4th and Central, a block down from the Aveda Institute) I was talking to my friend Shawna who is a barista there and we thought of some tricky questions that had us both stumpted. So I'm looking for answers.

1.) Are the leaves of the rhubarb plant poisonous?

2.) Does coffee stunt your growth?

3.) Is canned pumpkin really made of pumpkin or is it just some kind of generic squash?

First one to answer is the grand winner! Of course you don't get anything for winning but you know, it'll help your self-esteem.


Julio 16, 2004

Hello Mister TeeVee!

OK, let's be honest kids. I don't know how long I can keep this weblog thing up. For starters, work is about to get insane, and the whole moving process is about to descend upon me. And then in August I descend into a big black Pitt. Literally.

And futhermore, I might start annoying even myself with these ridiculous things I'm writing.

But hey, let's keep writing those egocentric, thoughtless pieces while we can, eh? So let's start with a quote from the band Harvey Danger & the song Flagpole Sitta:

"been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding
and i don't even own a tv"

Drawing inspiration from that quote, I could talk about either eugenics or television. Let's talk about the latter.

Here's the deal: I don't even own a TV. And honestly, I'm happy that way. You know what else I don't have? A cable bill. And a heavy box to carry around every time I move from one apartment to the next. And yet another distraction, another temptation to procrastinate my evenings away.

And as with many habits that we abandon, this one has lost most of its attractiveness for me. It's not like I'm not a real American; I theoretically could sit in front of televised inanity for hours as well. As a kid I was proof that hours of TV watching do correlate with obesity. And as a teenager I was, no lie, an avid fan of Beavis and Butthead. But now, I feel no draw to TV. It's like if you stop eating some kind of food--let's say you give up pizza, or red meat, or candy bars--and then after a while, you just don't seek it out any more. It's not like you wouldn't eat it if someone offered it to you, and you'd still get the happy dopamine rush from your brain. But you just don't feel impelled to pursue that food yourself. Same with me and TV. Alone, I can hardly watch it, I just don't see the point, I can't find it any more entertaining than the other options for amusing myself. But if I'm in a social context, and that's what the group is doing--we're watching some braindraining reality thing, or old episodes of Friends, or whatever--then I will join in with the crowd and I will eventually get into the whole experience. So, that's the key, the social context. Funny, a similar phenomenon causes drug abusers to relapse.

But before I get all high-and-mighty about TV abstinence--as some do--I've been thinking...What am I missing by not watching TV? See the next verse from the Harvey Danger song:


put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
you told them all i was crazy....

Is there a correlation between no TV and psychopathology? (if so, it looks like we're doomed to either obesity or craziness, hmm) Well...not really. Lack-of-TV is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for inducing craziness. Though I could see it as tipping a person over the edge, especially if s/he had been depending on television for all contact with humanity. So in that case, TV is only integral because it is the stand-in for human needs that are normally fulfilled otherwise.

So, I sit in a lab all day, I don't have much contact with the world, just these goofy kitties I'm cat-sitting for--Will my TV-less life make me crazy? I dunno, mebbe. But since when was mental stability such a high virtue? I'm interested in more meaty questions. Such as: Does TV watching reduce my effectiveness as a contributing member of society?

Awareness of society--of its current events, of cultural trends, of its peoples' hopes and dreams and fears and so on--is a powerful precursor to the most effective altruism that you can find out there. Of course, there are charitable acts that you know, a priori, will be appreciated. You can donate food to Africa, visit a lonely person in a nursing home, whatever. But often, before you can attack a problem, you need to find the specifics of it, and that requires awareness.

This need for awareness is relevant to more mundane deeds as well. Our contributions to the world don't just come from intentional (and generally isolated) charitable acts. Our day-to-day lifestyle is probably way more important than any of those things. How do we interact with people in one-on-one situations? What kind of decisions do we make in situations of group conflict? How do we vote, and what kind of opinions do we voice on policy? And so on.

What kind of awareness does one need to be a good citizen in day-to-day life? Is it an awareness that only TV can provide? One can keep up with the news pretty well without ever turning on a television: With internet, radio, magazines, and newspapers, I'm always 'aware' of the world, at least in terms of current events that these media define as important. But what I'm lacking is a full awareness of pop culture.

Therein lies the problem. I don't have no pop culture. And while watching the major networks or VH1 or HBO won't tell me much about the significant events in the news, it will tell me what people find entertaining these days, what they like to think about, what kind of characters and dilemmas they identify with, etc. And to the extent that you can get into that part of Americans' psyche, you're doing pretty good. And in a country where TV is so important, it may be the only way you can get into Americans' psyche.

So, maybe it is my civic duty to watch TV. Does that mean I'm going to go out and buy one? No way.

Julio 15, 2004

expression coherent needs it who

Today I went to get coffee in the cafeteria and saw they were selling rice krispie treats for $1.59. I mean, whoever decided to market oversized rice krispie treats at this price is a genius. Here's why: (a) The marginal cost of making a rice krispie treat is nil. (b) Make the bars really big, and put an inflated cost on them, and place them at Starbucks-esque places, and people will suddenly think they're getting something special. (c) They fit into a place where other pastries don't--they're relatively low-fat, in comparisons to donuts/danishes/scones/muffins. So they have a unique niche while still feeding crab-craving.

As I said, genius.

Julio 14, 2004

why do i have to do all the work around here

ofph.

I've been up since 5.
Insomnia.
Too much buzzing on caffeine.
I've got to get some work done.
And I can't think very well right now.
Somebody else write something.

Julio 12, 2004

Daily dose of Neruda

Today (7/12) is the centennial of Pablo Neruda's birth. (If you don't know of Neruda: He was a Chilean poet whose works ranged from romantic to philosophical to Communist.)

So, in honor thereof, I'm including one of his poems, and I will give a shot at translating it, but I might get a few lines jumbled. Feel free to make corrections.

I received a copy of this poem the day after 9/11, when Fabiola, one of my Spanish instructors at the time, handed it out in class.

First Spanish, then English:

CON ELLA

Como es duro este tiempo, espérame
vamos a vivirlo con ganas.
Dame tu pequeñita mano:
vamos a subir y sufrir;
vamos a sentir y saltar.
Somos de nuevo la pareja
que vivió en lugares hirsutos,
en nidos ásperos de roca.

Como es largo este tiempo, espérame
con una cesta, con tu pala,
con tus zapatos y tu ropa.
Ahora nos necesitamos
no sólo para los claveles
no sólo para buscar miel
necesitamos nuestras manos
para lavar y hacer el fuego,
y que se atreva el tiempo duro
a desafiar el infinito
de cuatro manos y cuatro ojos.

WITH HER

As these times are hard, wait for me
we will live them passionately
Give me your tiny hand:
we will climb and suffer;
we will feel and leap.
We are once again the pair
that lived in rough places
in jagged nests of rock.

As these times are long, wait for me
with a basket, with your shovel
with your shoes and your clothes.
Now we need each other
not only for the carnations
not only to search for honey
we need our hands
to clean and to make the fire
and so that the hard times must dare
to challenge an infinity
of four hands and four eyes.


Julio 11, 2004

Crickets, Kowalski's, and Doubt

Greetings from St. Paul. The cats, toad, and goldfish under my supervision say hello as well. I'll have you know that I fed live crickets to that toad this morning. It's not as bad as you would think though. You just dump them in and the toad takes care of the rest.

I was just at the Grand Avenue Kowalski's (or Kahvahlskee's, as a former professor of mine would say it). That store, it typifies my whole stereotype of St. Paul: Wholesome, family-oriented, affluent, and forgive me but a tad elitist. My god, those rows of specialty jams, of artisan breads, and free samples ranging from chunky guacamole to 'imported cheese of the day'. Those happy healthy faces purusing the ready-made pesto selections. The strapping high schoolers who'll carry out your bags, the old folks who walked in from three blocks away, the candles made of soy, the philosophical greeting cards...what can I say. It is a utopia that we Minneapolitans just couldn't handle.

And of course as I was driving back from the store to return to the cats/toad/fish, what do I do but compulsively flip on MPR (I am hesitant to admit what a public radio junkie I am for fear that it will exacerbate the public perception of my unforgivable nerdom). But at any rate, the show was 'Speaking of Faith' and as dangerously squishy and touchy-feely as that might sound, they had a thoroughly good program on 'doubt'. Perhaps it's overambitious to take on such an abstract and universal concept, but I encourage you to check out today's show on their website. It's worth listening to/reading no matter where your religious/philosophical perspectives lie.

Julio 10, 2004

don't you envy the adventure and excitement of it all

Hm, the last 24 hours of my life:

Friday afternoon: Solved a sticky problem in the lab: you get much bigger skin conductance responses if you use electrode spots on the palms as opposed to transducers wrapped around the fingers. I'm sure you'll all find this very informative and applicable to your daily lives.

Friday evening: Went to a free Minnesota Orchestra performance downtown. Ives and Rachmaninov and Dvorak, oh my. The symphony, it is a nice thing, and I'd recommend it to anyone, but I don't know if I'd be willing to pay full ticket price. But the bummer with the free concert is that you have to deal with kids, and with people whispering to each other and crinkling their plastic Marshall Fields bags (MF sponsors the event). Kind of puts a cramp in the experience. I wish I could somehow focus purely on the music, to travel with it so to speak, but I'm really not at that sophisticated of a listening level. It's a nice ideal though.

Saturday morning: Stumble out half-asleep for coffee. Look over the various things I have to do before I move into my new place in Pittsburgh. Scary.

Saturday afternoon (the here and now). I am at Mercado. We just lost internet access temporarily, of course exactly at the time when about 5 men were staring at me, waiting to use the computers. Fortunately we got it back (obviously).

They've started some new system here. We have to give out ID numbers to our clients and there's also a new pen-and-paper survey for them to fill out regarding their daily stresses. To be honest I don't know how well this will work--I think it may reduce our efficiency and make potential clients suspicious. I hope it's a short-lived thing.

This evening I start cat-sitting for a former professor. They also have a toad that I occasionally have to spritz with water. I guess that's what you have to do with toads.

Hm, and that's about it, that's my day.

Julio 08, 2004

No, not Ruminator!

Alas, poor Ruminator books is closing. (For the unenlightened, Ruminator--formerly known as Hungry Mind--is a fiercely independent bookstore in St Paul and was textbook supplier for Macalester College.) I knew it was in bad shape but I never thought the public would let Ruminator go out with such a whimper. Makes me feel bad for those shameful visits to Borders (they always look at me real funny when I go there anyway)

Read the editorial in the Pioneer Press. It makes the point that needs to be made whenever this kind of thing happens--the blame, in the end, lies with the consumers.

Julio 07, 2004

Strange

I habitually awake in the middle of the night. The cause is trivial: bathroom, thunderstorm, need a drink of water. And the consciousness is shortlived, lasting only 5 minutes or so.

Sometimes, if the night is calm enough, my faculties transformed enough, those 5 minutes are dominated by a now familiar but always radical sensation: Estrangement. This life I know is not as it should be. All surroundings and all circumstances become unnatural.

Not unreal, because I know that what’s there is there. The word is unnatural, with ‘natural’ defined as all things pertaining to me, to my ‘nature,’ to that which fate deems correct within the context of my life. Fate is an empty concept—I am no believer in any meaningful kind of predestination—but my mind thrusts the idea upon me as if nothing else is suitable.

I think of who I am during the day: I spend my time far too distant from home, even if I am at the place I call home. I say things that I barely understand, mechanized outbursts that fit with the moment, but are disconnected from any meaning, from any intention to communicate. And the things I do with my time are all the result of recklessness. I think, I’m becoming foolishly reckless, there is no method to my madness, my behavior spins out and away from any rational core that once governed it. My values have become convenient, temporary guidelines, granting illusions of significance and purpose, covering up for my unprincipled whims.

Until finally my entire selfhood collapses under the burden: You are not who you are supposed to be. This identity that has been constructed is paper-thin and will blow away in the next bad storm.

Do not approach me during these five minutes and ask what is most reasonable to ask: Who, then, are you supposed to be? What are these golden values you should live by, what is it that you should do and say, where is your true home? I won’t be able to articulate the answers.

And you will have no better luck asking me those questions during the day. I will say: I was half-asleep. I was crazy. I went back to bed. I woke up this morning and have been living my life ever since and there has been no reason to question it.

Julio 05, 2004

On the road again

So I just got back from a wedding in Kansas City. Also, tomorrow I am going to the University of Iowa for a work-related project. Thus my prolonged absence. Here's all I can offer for now: A link to The Law and Order Coloring book. This will be meaningful to those people in my life who feel compelled to watch all 37 versions of the show and then their reruns on cable.

Also, you know, something struck me when I was at a Dairy Queen in northern Missouri. Back at my hometown Dairy Queen, we had this thing called a "Crunch Sundae." It was regular soft serve with, I don't know, something crunchy on top. The thing is, I can't find it anywhere else, and no one else has heard of it. I have brought it up with friends who were raised elsewhere. "You know, the Crunch Sundae..." And they look at me like I need to be institutionalized. When I asked the cashier in Missouri, they said they didn't have it, though she seemed to know what I was referring to. I went to the Dairy Queen website and can't find it anywhere. And I can't even describe what the topping consists of. It's not crushed nuts of any kind, I don't think it's crushed cookie...it's just "crunch." So, if anyone else has heard of this, and knows what that coating is, please enlighten me.

Julio 01, 2004

Starbucks will make you fat

This is good information:

Starbucks article

And after you read that, follow the link to the Starbucks' site and find out how awful their other stuff is. Like, the blueberry scone: 400 calories and 18 grams of fat.

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