Chicana/o-Latina/o Gender & Sexuality

I don't feel that my gender had anything to do with the way my parents raised me. It was just my sister and so I don't have a brother to compare my life with. My parents let me do whatever I wanted basically. My mom openly told me about puberty and becoming a woman. I don't remember ever actually having a sex talk with my parents but I learned all of that information in school. I wasn't allowed to go on a date until I was sixteen but I manuevered around that rule by hanging out with boys in large groups of friends. I had a boyfriend before I turned sixteen and my parents didn't really care. They gave me all the necessary knowledge to make my own decisions. They taught me how to be responsible with whatever I chose to do but gave the opportunity to make my own decisions. I don't feel that I would have been treated any differently if I had been a boy. I believe i would have had just as much freedom either way. My parents are very big believers in equality and wanted their daughters to grow up equally.

Posted by swen0441 at 8:24 PM | Permalink

My experience with starting to menstruate has similar aspects to those in Hurtado's Voicing Chicana Feminisms but it was also very different. I was so excited when I got mine. I think that my experience was different because in my family I have one sister, a mom and a dad. There is only one male in the house, even all of our pets were girls! I was one of the last of my friends to get it, so when I got it I felt relived that I was finally "a woman". I had been literally practicing for that day. I wore pads before I even had my period. I asked my mom about everything before it happened, or was even close to happening. I remember the day that I got it my sister got a phone call from her friend and I answered the phone, "Brenna! Guess what?!? I got my period today!" It is hard to remember, but I am fairly sure that I told my mom to tell my dad too...although I did not tell him myself which is a very large difference. It did not change my relationship with him though, like some women in the reading.

As far as when I lost my virginity goes, that is a different story. I hear the women in Hurtado's book loud and clear regarding the value of virginity in the family. My dad is a pastor. Enough said, right? My mom was always very open to making sure I knew that if anything "bad" were to happen (i.e. get pregnant) I would be out on the streets. Now, if she would have really done that I am not sure, but she sure did threaten. It was not that she did not want me to have sex, it was that she did not want me to bring "shame" to our family being that everyone knows our business in church. It would be catastrophic to our family if I got pregnant out of marriage. That made the issue of sex silent in the house when my dad was around. Because the silence comes far more from my dad than my mom my experience seems to be similar to the women Hurtado speaks with and at the same time different. My mom speaking with me about it does open up the fact that there was not complete silence on the topic. That type of parenting is right in line with the cultural norm that women deal with the kids while men do not have to.

Posted by snide040 at 6:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I too found it easy to relate to the experiences of chicana women that Hurtado describes. I have two brothers, one older and one my twin, and my parents (mainly my mom) have definitely held a double standard since we were adolescents. My mom’s founding argument has always been “but you can get pregnant!� and she claims that I will not be able to have male guests sleepover until I’m engaged. Although I have yet to test this ruling, both of my brothers had girlfriends in high school that would stay over on a regular basis, and I was always much more highly policed in high school in terms of curfews and staying over at friends’ houses. I’ve never even discussed the issue with my dad, as my mom has held the final word on most issues of disciplining us since we were teenagers; she’s the one who couldn’t sleep until we got home at night during high school, the one who would call my friends’ houses to be sure I wasn’t sneaking out to unknown destinations. I’m sure this is a concern of my dad’s, but he leaves most of my personal and social issues to my mom, which are obviously relayed to him at some point. I think this stems from the fact that my mom has always been much more concerned for how our friends’ families view ours, and issues such as teenage drinking or pregnancy are always the ones that become the talk of the town if somebody slips up. Obviously legitimate concern for our well-being is the main factor, but to me that helps to explain why my mom takes more responsibility for that sphere of our lives than my dad. The traditional gender ideal of the woman as the "home manager" leads to this idea that she must maintain the families reputation, and it's become so normalized in our society, as well as chicano society as we've read, that it is difficult for families to renegotiate that mentality.

Posted by jrfta at 4:22 PM | Permalink

This is Jill's post (we're experiencing some technical difficulties):

"Before I read “Growing up Female� I expected my experience being policed by white suburban gender norms would stand in stark contrast to the experience of Chicanas as reported by ethnographic findings in Hurtado’s chapter. As I read, I was surprised by how much I could relate to some Chicana experiences with gender divisions of labor within households and the ways in heterosexuality is upheld as a cultural standard. While I am not one to support the notion of some sort of universal women’s experience, I appreciate learning how intersecting systems of power affect women in similar ways.

My parents’ household had a very rigid gendered division of labor that has since shifted now that my father is retired. Like several of the respondent’s in Hurtado’s chapter, I learned from a very young age to do chores that have been traditionally delegated as “female�. Like Soledad (Hurtado 43) I would also say that I had a lot of homework to do in order to avoid cleaning! My own preference for books instead of laundry was rewarded to some extent by my parents—who would rather see me get good grades and be “upwardly mobile� than traditionally gendered (or, ideally, I would be both).

To be sure region also shapes identity and cultural gender norms. Perhaps my experiences as a queer white woman-identified person growing up in my parent’s house has a lot to do also with the Midwest and the fact that my parents have lived in this region all their lives. They are SUPER non-confrontational and very concerned with being nice. Issues of gender identity, sexual preference, sexual practice, and puberty were policed by silence. How stifling! Undoubtedly, my family-specific silencing of sexual expression is wrapped up in maintaining cultural norms of heterosexuality. Similarly, many Chicana’s families were concerned with upholding the “cult of virginity� (61) which perpetuates culturally dominant ideologies about womanhood and female sexuality. "

Posted by Kandace Creel Falcon at 10:50 AM | Permalink

My story was very similar to many that were discussed in Aida Hurtado's chapter "Growing up Female". I am the youngest of three sisters, and they are five and seven years older than me. As far as menstruation is concerned, I had all of the "traditional" textbook learning from my schools, so I had a pretty good idea about what to expect. But I remember the day I was finally visited by my monthly blessing, because I had horrible cramps and when I found some colored discharge on my underwear I asked my closest sister about it and she gave me a hug and told me I was finally a woman! Later I told my mother and got pretty much the same reaction. However, I didn't tell the oldest sister or my father, because both of them have been more distant towards me (until later years, when my sister and I became very close). Having two older sisters made it a lot easier for me than for many girls, because we always had a full supply of pads and tampons in the bathroom. However, I remember finding the specific pad that was given to all girls in 5th grade and using that first. In my mind I think it was my own rite of initiation to do so. Afterwards I called my closest girlfriends and told them the news and they proceeded to ask me what it was like.

It was a very different story when it came to the first time I had sex. I never really got "the talk" from anyone in my family, although the middle sister would share bits and pieces of information with me if I asked. When I lost my virginity it (unfortunately) ended up being with this a**hole who broke up with me three days later. For this situation (I think partially due to shame) I didn't tell anyone in my family, and confided only in friends. My mom finally found out I was sexually active when the clinic I normally went to for birth control closed, and I couldn't afford the prices at my new location. I think that because I was the youngest daughter, she didn't judge my actions as harshly as she might have, and was more proud of me for being responsible about it. I'm not sure if she shared any of this information with my father or not, but if she did he never mentioned it to me or offered any words of wisdom.

As far as dating is concerned, my parents never gave me strict guidelines as to when I was allowed to date. When I asked my mom about it, she said that I can start dating whenever I feel like I'm ready. This was a huge vote of confidence from her and I consider myself very blessed to have such a trusting mother. I had a lot of independence growing up, which both helped and harmed me in certain ways while going through puberty. The fact that I had two older sisters was very helpful in the early stages, but once I hit 14 I was the only child left in the house, which made it very difficult for me in the later years of development.

Posted by Eos at 8:25 PM | Permalink

After reading Chapter 2 "Growing up female" in Aida Hurtado's "Voicing Chicana Feminisms" I would like to know your thoughts on how your experiences of growing up female compare or contrast to the stories we hear from Chicanas themselves. What type of expectations regarding sex, sexuality or landmarks in your life (menstration, puberty, sex ed. ect.) were present in your family life? Feel free to share your stories autobiographically or by representing your experiences in a fictional story - use your own judgment and creativity. Ultimately, I want to see you engaging your story with the stories that we read in the text.

If you don't feel comfortable sharing, you may choose to relate to Hurtado's own methods of undertaking the study. Do you feel the voices she shares are representative of Chicana experiences? What do you think about her case study of Lucha and Fuerza that she puts at the end of the chapter? How successful do you think she is in sharing diverse perspectives from her respondents? What types of nuances in her analysis do you find interesting or see as important when reading these stories?

Post your responses under category 1 -- feel free to make an alias for yourself if that makes you more comfortable in sharing these details of your life/your own analysis.

Posted by Kandace Creel Falcon at 10:25 AM | Permalink