Chicana/o-Latina/o Gender & Sexuality

I come from a stereotypical midwestern Norwegian family where silence is prevalent. Like Zavella discusses in her article, my family's issues - even those of great significance - are not discussed openly. I personally heard even less about various familial experiences because I am the youngest child (my closest sister is five years older than me). It seems to me that health, sexuality and mental well-being are three subjects that are rarely (if ever) discussed. For example, when I was away at Girl Scout camp for a week, my eldest sister had a nervous breakdown and was brought into psychiatric care for 48 hours. I did not hear anything about this incident when I returned home, and I found out about it almost a year later when my mother mentioned something about it in passing. As far as sexuality is concerned, only one aunt/uncle combination has no children. I have always wondered if this was a personal choice or a biological issue, but it would be considered disrespectful if I were to ever ask about it. I was well into my teenage years when my mother shared with me the fact that my maternal grandparents used to be severe alcoholics, and she and her siblings had to live with my great-grandparents for a year while they got their lives back together. As far as mental health is concerned, I personally went through a very rough period in my teenage years. To this day, I don't know who in my extended family knows the extent of it. And since it occurred, I haven't spoken to my father about it, and have discussed it with my mother only a handful of times. Normally, my sisters are the only ones I feel comfortable sharing thoughts with.

It's not like my the members of my family do not care about one another, but I can't shake the sense that I don't really know any of them. In this case, I believe that our silence is constructed so as to protect some sense of dignity or privacy. In some ways I really wish that we would open up to each other as I feel a family aught to be able to, but then I challenge my own wish by considering whether I want to see all of the skeletons in the closet. It is a fine line to walk.

Posted by Eos at 10:28 PM | Permalink

I was fortunate enough to be brought up in an atmosphere where silence was not encouraged. My mother was very open with me, and encouraged me to be open with her; but there were boundaries on what we talked about. I never went into detail about sexual or personal experiences I had, not because she wouldn't alow it, but because I just wasn't comfortable talking about all of it. No matter how open I am encouraged to be, I continue to have my limits, and I think it is because of the big deal society in the US puts on talking about sexuality. I would never feel comfortable opening up to a new friend about something sexual. With the friends I am able to talk to about that stuff, it was almost like an unspoken code, like; "I kind of want to talk to you about something that happened, is that okay with you?" Once we know that we can talk to each other about those things we aren't afraid to open up but I certainly have friends that aren't comfortable about it. When I traveled to Europe the friends I made were generally much more comfortable about talking about sex; it just wasn't made into such a big deal. Women weren't expected to behave a certain way and men weren't the only ones who were forward. It was refreshing to meet people who didn't worry so much about what people said about sex, and also who didn't worry about what people would think.

Posted by mccr0146 at 9:03 PM | Permalink

After discussing the readings on the politics of silence and the construction of sexual and gender identities I would like you to think about the following questions. How/why does silence function in the Western construction of sexuality? Using Zavella and Chavez Leyva's articles explore how silence continues to shape your own experiences of sexuality and how this is similar or different from the accounts that these women both lay out in terms of their own research. Remember to explore the various aspects of silence as both negative and positive avenues for sexual expression and feel free to bring in any materials and/or concepts from any class readings.

Posted by Kandace Creel Falcon at 11:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)