February 17, 2005
this is an excellent question. it seems unfair that, if a guys has several sexual partners, they are looked up to by their friends, while females can't do the same thing because they would be whores. some women are even more attracted to guys who get around - the principle that we always want what we can't have. anyone remember american pie number 1 or 2? that whole bit about men taking the number of women they have slept with and adding three when asked how many women they have slept with, and women subtracting three....maybe i didn't explain it right....at the same time, women are perfectly capable of having casual sex, although it may not make them happy. i think that there is also a lot of pressure on people in your age group to not be "tied down" to anyone too soon, that we should date around and then get married. so to answer the first question, yes. to the second question, it may go back to what scheman was saying about the question of "what are woman FOR" and "what do men DO". it's less socially acceptable for a woman to have a healthy sexuality with multipule partners. i think i'm rambling.
Posted by dahl0684 at February 17, 2005 3:19 PM
Posted by lindsay at February 8, 2005 11:11 PM
I hate the conception of men he have lots of sex as "players" Like they've acheived something. I don't see a problem with the actual act of having sex with multiple partners, I just hate how society will put them high on the totem pole for this accomplishment. I think one reason why people look down on and name call others who have multiple partners is because they're jelous. Everyone wants this kind of attention and those who don't get it get angry. Just my thoughts.
Posted by Matt Rehani at February 9, 2005 12:01 AM
I think people are quick to judge others based on their sexual "number" because it has mounted to such "false" importance to many college students and other young adults. It seems that it is easy to categorize people into "whore" "tight" "pimp" "dry" etc. Why this topic has become so important in recent years is undefinable, because I think that everyone has different ideas about what "numbers" are acceptable or not. A lot of people tend to decide who they will date based on possible mates' numbers before knowing the person well. The double standard based on gender is the idea that guys like to date girls with "low" numbers, as if dating them would be an achievement or someone to add to their list. I am rambling, many thoughts on this, and this is my group project, so I will be back quite a bit!! Tell me what you think!
Posted by Joanna Fullmer at February 9, 2005 06:06 PM
I think since men are seen as sexual beings (need to have sex or are at least thinking about it all of the time) and women are not, that it's seen as okay for men to be having sex a lot of the time with different people because they have a constant sexual drive. What society is neglecting to see is that women have just as many needs as men, they are just better hidden because it is not the majority of what they talk about. (By the way, the rule of 3 is guys multiply by three and girls divide by 3 the # of people they've slept with)
Posted by Kristen at February 9, 2005 06:25 PM
I have another question for people to respond to...what is your idea of what numbers are acceptable and what numbers are too much? Do you judge the person you're dating by the number of people they've slept with?
(also a group member)
Posted by Kristen at February 9, 2005 06:29 PM
I think through writing so I'm just going to do a stream of conciousness and see where it takes me. I am not sure why sex is seen as an acomplishment when it comes to men but not for women who are frowned on.
I see that this standard exists but I also see a lot from my own personal expirience through groups of friends that women and men can be viewed in much the same way. I know people who would be turned off by a female who likes to sleep around just as much as they would be by a male. As a younger generation I think it depends more on what you are looking for. It might be more intimidating for someone looking for a exclusive relationship and relatively inexpirienced to be with someone who has had many partners. Or someone might be hesitant to hook up with someone with little to no expirience who feels awkward.
As far as my feelings go, personally, I feel that as long as you have a good connection with someone (that is if you are looking for a relationship) it really doesn't matter about their sexual past. I would just like that person to feel open with me and be able to talk about anything so there are no secrets to cause problems in the relationship later.
So that's my speil.
Posted by Haley at February 13, 2005 02:34 AM
I agree with Hayley that sometimes men and women are viewed the same way. With my friends I know that it's not cool for anyone to sleep around and they often get teased for it if they do. i don't think girls look up to guys at all who sleep around, so it must be other guys who praise them, but why?
Posted by Kristen at February 14, 2005 06:58 PM
My thoughts on this question are in no way organized... so im just going to throw them out there in no particular order. I think that the reason there is a double standard is because when it comes to girls, they generally are more concerned with what poeple say and think about them then guys are. If a guy hears that someone ripped on him, he will normally just blow it off, or if it really gets to him he might take care of it w/ his fists. But mostly, its not a big deal. If a girl is ripped on, she will take it more seriously and care about her reputation a bit more. Therefore, girls don't want to be known as the slut, so generally will sleep with fewer poeple and will try to cover if the numbers get too high. This by no means is what every boy or girl does, but just a general statement.
I am really interested in what poeple think are BAD or GOOD numbers for someone. So, I'm going to throw out what i think. I think, that when it comes around time for marriage, the average number of sexual partners for ANY person is probably between 6-10. I dont think there is that much of a difference when it comes to boys or girls. There are pimps, they also have their hos... and there wussies but they also have their pussies... haha thats a really weird analogy i dunno where i pulled it from!!! ANYWAYS.... i'd like to see what everyone else thinks about that number?!?!
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Now if a man gets around he is a player and if a women gets around she is a tramp. I would think it is one for one.
Society has it that way! A man will always be a man...its unfair to women tho.
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