Berger aims at history, wins 15K ind. biathlon race to give Norway 100 Winter Olympic golds

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After a substandard performance four years ago in Turin, Norway seems to be back on form in Vancouver, where Marit Bjoergen won gold No. 99 on Wednesday in the women's cross-country sprint.

I feel like this lead is poorly written. As I was reading it I felt that the details seemed scattered. I was confused about what was happening in the story. It does give the details of who, but later on and starts off the story by the what. Even though the details are there I felt like they were scattered, and could have been written better. After reading the lead i lost interest in the story, and didn't care about what the rest of the article entailed.

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I feel that this blog is just not that catchy. I don't feel like it grabs the readers attentiion and makes them want to read the entire article. I agree with that it gives the details but not in a manner that makes someone feel they must read the rest of the story.
I agree that this lead is somewhat poorly written just becuase I feel like it's a bit confusing. I don't feel that the details were given in a manner that would allow the reader to easily follow along.
There were a lot of good details but they weren't organized in a decent manner. I agree with Dardery that I lost interest after reading the lead becuase I felt it didn't captivate me.
In addtion I agree that it does give the details of who, when, where, and what but in a way that wasn't clear to the readers. This lead didn't completely fulfill its job. While it gave the details it lacked the right placement of them.

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This page contains a single entry by darde007 published on February 18, 2010 4:19 PM.

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