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February 26, 2009

...

i speak of you and you speak of me
we hold hands but none of it is true
i have nothing but the will to fight and you have only the will for flight
i bring you in and all you do is repel me
i fight for US and you fight for YOU
i fight for your existence and you fight for resistance
i talk, you yell, i cry, you laugh
you are my complement
but it seems a complement is not what you want
i've waited and i've been patient
but for what?
for your self preservation!
i take care of you and you take care of yourself who is taking care of me?
who is there to offer their hand for me when im in a time of need?
who comforts me?
no one, i am my own defense
i deal with everything that you refuse to.
i fix your problems and everyone elses and leave my own problems to chance
i put you before me and them before me but who puts me before them?
all the time and energy i put into YOU and i always go unnoticed
i cater to you, and everyone else
i give them what you can not an sacrifice my plans for yours
i bring them joy and hope
and all you bring me is self despair
i cry when you're not looking, in the confinds of my room
i hear what you wont let the others hear
i protect you, them
i help YOU and YOU help yourself
i give them a reason to come back, i give them answers that you refuse to give
i give them reassurance, i give them hope
i bring them back to a home, a broken home
a home we all avoid, a home we have learned to accept
and in time it will be a home we will love instead of a home we hate.


what am i ?

i am what you want me to be
i can be what you think you cannot
i am mischief, simplicity, and chaos if you so choose
i am everything your are not, but only if you allow me
i'm lovable and decietful at the same time
i can make you act but also react, i can prevent you from working
but i can also push you to do your best
what am i?
i am selfish, careless, sore and pleasant
i'll make you cry and hate and
make you love and laugh
i am what drives you
i give you hope and despair
i make the wheels turn when you cant
i give you that burst of energy when you feel you cant
i can make everything better when no one else can
i open doors and closed them when i so choose
i can give you the world but only if you allow me.
i can prove everyone wrong including you
what am i?


February 12, 2009

untitled

self inflicting, self sufficient pain
pain that lurkes and hides
within ourselves, unknowingly
we carry pain and move throughout life
ignoring it, hiding it, masking it.
Self inflicting, self sufficient pain
unsustainable, unprecedent pain
we laugh and smile but behind
that cresent moon you see is a
field of loneliness and depair
you see my face you see my eyes
but do you see my pain?
you should, you hide what i hide
so why can't you see what i see
self inflicting, self sufficient pain
the signs are visible, i know you see them
why do you ignore them?
your refusal to see what i see
engulfs you. simply because
your refusal is what is hiding you
self inflicting self sufficent pain
you cant hide it, you cant run from it
so why do you ignore it?
Self inflicting, self sufficent pain
should i hide behind your refusal
since i can not make a mask of my own?
would you allow it? or is this
self inflicting, self sufficent pain
all you know