The Case of the Anniversary Present
It started off as a normal day for the residence of Supervania. Of course, what was normal for this town would not be normal for most towns. It was going to be a hectic day for the mayor of Supervania. Mayorman would not soon forget this day. At least he hoped he wouldn't forget it because it was his wedding anniversary.
He arrived as usual to the Auditorium of Equitableness. It was early in the morning and he was ready for a normal busy day. His first meeting of the day was with the "League of Yes-Men." Unfortunately, only the Affirminator and the Seal of Approval could make the meeting. "That was hardly a 'League,'" thought the mayor.
"What can I do for the 'League'?" started the Mayor.
"Mayor," the Affirminator began. "You're doing a fabulous job."
"Arh Arh!" added the Seal of Approval.
"The 'League of Yes-Men' considers your leadership impeccable," continued the Affirminator.
"That is very nice of you to say," replied Mayorman. "However, I'm a very busy man. What did you wish to meet about?"
"Arh arh arh," the Seal of Approval began while nudging the Affirminator.
"Yes, I couldn't agree more," included the Affirminator.
"Uh," questioned the mayor. "Are you going to tell me what he said?"
"Yes Mr. Mayor, I certainly would like to," responded the Affirminator. "However, she's a she."
"I beg your pardon," blushed the mayor. "Are you going to tell me what she said?"
"Arh arh arh arh," clapped the seal.
"Of course," started the Affirminator. "However, I don't speak Seal."
"Is there are going to be any point to this meeting?" questioned Mayorman.
"Naturally ... we wouldn't waste your valuable time Mr. Mayor. However, the BootLicker and his toady, 'Toady', were the heroes that wished to bring up the issue. Unfortunately, their car was vandalized this morning, so they had to cancel. We were just here to support them. They are very important heroes. Very much like yourself," the Affirminator went on.
"Arh arh!" added the Seal of Approval.
"Do you have any idea what this issue is regarding?" asked the mayor.
"Of course we do. However, we have been sworn to not discuss it without them."
"Well, I guess this ends this meeting then," finished the mayor.
"Absolutely," the Affirminator said. "It has been an honor and a pleasure coming here and having you meet with us on this important issue."
"Arh arh arh," added the seal.
"Nice seeing you," responded the mayor. "If you would like to reschedule, please see The Assistant. Thanks for coming."
"Yes yes," the Affirminator stated while MayorMan issued them out the door.
The Assistant entered the mayor's office at the Auditorium of Equitableness. "Sir," the mayor's assistant started. "Anonymous Man is here to see you."
"Very Good. Send him in."
"Mr. Mayor," started Anonymous Man. "You have to do something!"
"Yes," replied the mayor. "Yes I do."
"Do you know what I'm talking about?" asked the superhero.
"Naturally," started Mayorman. "Yes I do. Of course I know. Yes ... Well no. I have no idea."
"Some vandal is throwing balloons full of paint on cars all over town," replied Anonymous Man.
"Water balloons?" asked the mayor.
"Not water balloons. Well, water balloons filled with paint. So, they're more like paint balloons," stumbled Anonymous Man.
"Sir," interrupted The Assistant. "We have just got a report that these balloons are hitting cars all over the United States."
"This is obviously the work of some sort Evil Ninja Cyborg," exclaimed the mayor. "But what could it mean? This looks like a job for..."
"The League of Yes-Men!" exclaimed the Affirminator.
"Do you know what is going on?" asked the mayor.
"Yes!" replied the Affirminator. "Of course we know."
"Are you going to tell us?" asked the mayor.
"Certainly, if we could Mr. Mayor," responded the Affirminator. "You know that we would."
"Arh arh arh," added the Seal of Approval.
"I see," replied the mayor skeptically. "Assistant, please show these heroes out!"
"Absolutely," replied The Assistant.
"I would like to say that you are doing a wonderful job as mayor..." started the Affirminator.
The Assistant's eyes turn a brilliant lime green as a roar rings throughout the room. The Seal of Approval and the Affirminator are lifted off the floor of the mayor's office and are whisked out the door by an unseen force. The pair of superheroes travel throughout the Auditorium of Equitableness and are planted softly in front of the building. The Assistant's eyes turn back to their naturally dusky color and a faint smile of satisfaction crosses his lips.
"Anonymous Man," started the mayor as he attempted to get more information. "Is there anything more that you can tell me?"
"Yes," Anonymous Man replied. "Of course, I could. Naturally, I would like to... Sorry, the League of Yes-Men got to me. I don't think there is anything more I can add."
"Thank you for your report Anonymous Man," the mayor said as he moved around his desk to sit down. "If you think of anything or need anything else be sure to let us know."
"Thank you mayor."
"Do I need to show him out too?" asked The Assistant eagerly.
"No need," answered the mayor.
"Oh," The Assistant responded as he sulked back to his desk.
"However," the mayor indicated to The Assistant. "I do need to get something for my wife for our anniversary."
"That is not my job," The Assistant replied curtly.
"My schedule is quite full, and I need to get her something nice," whined the mayor. "This looks like a job for..."
"Sorry," interrupted the mayor's assistant. "There isn't anyone here to see you."
"Rats!" exclaimed the mayor.
"However, your wife is on line 1."
"Thank you!" replied the mayor as he picked up his phone. He pressed the blinking light and began speaking to his wife on the phone. "Hello Dear, did you get your breakfast in bed? I didn't want to wake you, so I left it beside the bed there. Knocked over? I'm sorry; I thought I kept the cat out of the room. The open window? Oh, that explains it. She has always been a smart cat. How's that? Of course, I made the reservation. I made it weeks ago. Our table will be ready at the restaurant at 8PM. I hope I won't be late, but we're a little swamped here already. There is an emergency happening as we speak. I'll try to be on time. I have arranged for the America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Horse and Buggy Service to pick you up and take you to the restaurant. The city can't function without me. Who was that? Flash, your old boyfriend called? What did he want? That was pretty bold. Did you tell him that you're happily married? Of course I'm happy. Why would you ask such a thing? When I married you, I became the luckiest man in Supervania. He is going to give you an anniversary present? Now dear, I'm not going to compete with a Ninja Cyborg. I'll give you your gift at dinner tonight. I'll be on time. I promise. I've got another call waiting dear, so I have to let you go. I love you. Have a good day. Good bye. Assistant!"
"You did reserve our table didn't you?"
"Of course, I made the reservation. I made it weeks ago."
"Good, could you contact AOENC Horse and Buggy Service and send a buggy to my house at 7:30?"
"While you're at it, could you pick up something nice for my wife?"
"Sir, I am unaffected by the influence of the League of Yes-Men. Since that is not part of my job, you will have to find someone else."
"All right already! Speaking of the league, did they reschedule?"
"Yes. They'll be here next week. However, I pressed and their issue is that 'League' is such and old fashioned term, and they wish to change their name."
"Ugh! Every year a group of superheroes wishes to change their name! What do they want to change it to 'The Uncanny Yes-Men', 'Instructor Confirmation and his Yes-Men', 'The Ultimate Yes-Men'?"
"I didn't press that far."
"My Ninja Cyborg wife's former boy friend calls to inform her that he's giving her and anniversary present, and I have to deal with superheroes with marketing issues. I guess that is what it's like to be the mayor of..."
Poems are found by the quatrain-ia
And read without much eyestrain-ia
It's Super Supervania.
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