M.O.P.S. in Space
By Douglas E. Gogerty
"Let us look at this logically," explained Kelly O'Kern. "Angus is pointing back at the restaurant we just came from."
"With Victor's sense of direction," added Tommy Templar "we can rule that way out too."
"Hey!" complained Victor Viking meekly after his insides finished chatting with his bucket.
"I just thought we could go in and ask," Angus MacScot said defending his position.
"We're going this way," insisted Tommy as he walked away.
"What should we do?" asked Victor in confusion.
"It is not that way," they all agreed.
"Just remember which way we go," insisted Kelly. "If we can make it back here, we can start again."
"Right," Angus and Victor replied as the three rushed off to follow Tommy.
After a short walk, it was clear that this was not the way. However, the hustle and bustle and all of the sights of the city drew them in. There was a sidewalk cafe´ type establishment where the quartet found themselves walking. Eventually, they found themselves sitting there.
They marveled at the wide array of fashions that individuals wore. Many had selected colors that complimented their skin tones, and others selected colors that clearly clashed. Angus pointed out an individual in something that could be called a mini-skirt with what appeared to be a very tight Hello Kitty™ t-shirt.
This individual was causing a stir with a particular set of other individuals. Many of the four-armed, two-legged creatures turned to look at this very attractive young individual in high-heeled-esque shoe like walking apparatuses. On a few occasions one member of a pair would turn and look, the remaining member of the pair accosted this individual.
After they had sat at the table for a while, a dark-skinned being with white clothes approached them. At least, they assumed it was clothes. "Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah," he or she or it stated plainly. 7
"Sorry," explained Tommy. "We are here for a convention, and we do not have any money."
"Noash ett," replied the waiter urging them to order. The only word the quartet understood was "okay."
With great resignation that the waiter would not leave without them ordering, Tommy and Angus ordered gin and tonics.
"Tonic with sucrose," ordered Kelly.
"Nothing for me," insisted Victor.
The waiter reflexively wrote down the orders, and then discovered what he, she or it wrote, did a double take, and gave Victor a strange stare. Looking as if impressed, the waiter entered the building.
The quartet returned to their watching. Occasionally a passerby would point at Tommy and say what sounded like "Larrimoe-Kerly." Further, they would often continue with "Cooklaa-Frannen-Olly."
Not understanding these strange phrases, the quartet just ignored them. Occasionally, they would wave, but that was a rare occurrence. They just sat there enjoying the hustle and bustle pass by.
After several minutes of sitting there, a very strong smell overcame them. It smelled like the breath of a raging alcoholic after the eighth bourbon -- only stronger. The quartet looked around to see where the smell was coming from, as it got more intense. The smell was nearly unbearable, when the waiter showed up with the drinks.
"Gin and tonic, gin and tonic," the waiter listed as he, she, or it placed the drinks in front of Victor and Angus.
"Thank you," responded Angus and Victor.
"Tonic with sucrose," the waiter continued while placing the glass in front of Kelly, and he gave a strange look to Victor.
"Thank..." Kelly started to reply when the alcohol smell over came him.
"Nuthin Form 'E'," stated the waiter placing a large smoldering glass in front of Victor with a wink.
A large group gathered around the door to get a look at the individual who ordered the Nuthin Form 'E'. They were shocked to discover the slight human with a slightly fizzing bucket was the one who ordered the drink.
The smell of the drink was so intense that the eight eyes of the quartet of MOPS members were gushing tears. None of them could enjoy the return of the individual with the Hello Kitty™ t-shirt with the drink there. Further, the pedestrians began giving them a wide birth as the smell filled the area. Occasionally, they would hear someone point and say Nuthin Form 'E', and look in shock at Victor.
"Do something with that drink," insisted Tommy.
Victor took the drink and poured it in his bucket. An eight-foot plume of flame erupted up from the bucket with a slight smell of peaches. Just as quickly as the flame started, it vanished. Victor's bucket was sparkling clean, and a pleasant smell of raspberry lingered.
With the stares and hushed whispers, the members of MOPS felt uncomfortable. Thus, they left their comfortable spot at the café. After a brief debate on which direction to head, they decided on a vote of 3 to 4 to follow their esthetic. That is, they followed the alien in the Hello Kitty™ t-shirt.
After a few blocks, this individual walked into a shop, so the quartet walked on by. They lingered on the corner for a bit, semi-waiting for the individual to walk out. However, a brightly lit complex attracted their attention. From their corner vantage point, it looked like a casino.
The enormous structure had flashing neon signs and many arrows pointing to the entrance. The building would give the flashiest, gaudiest, Las Vegas casinos a run for their money. The group could not help but be drawn towards it.
As they got closer, an enormous poster on the front became clear. From the corner, the bright lights reflected off the protective glass, so they could not get a clear view. It was only as the group got directly in front of the building could they make out the image.
They all stood there with their mouths open as they finally got a look at the poster. The fifteen-story image was the spitting image of Tommy. In smaller images around Tommy appeared to be Victor, Angus, and Kelly.
They moved around a little bit to determine if it was just a trick of the light. They wanted to determine if it was an image from a camera or a reflection. However, the image stayed exactly as it was. Clearly, it was someone or something that looked exactly like Tommy.
As they were attempting to get their minds around it, the front doors of the structure opened and a huge wave of people streamed out. They spotted the group and in a great reverent tone, they began chanting "Larrimoe-Kerly" with a "Cooklaa-Frannen-Olly" occasionally thrown in.
Soon, the crowd surrounded the members of MOPS. They pressed closely into them so they could not move.
To Kelly Angus said, "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into Ollie!"
Kelly replied, "It wasn't a Stan Laurel line it was an Oliver Hardy line. Furthermore, it was actually -- another nice mess -- ugh -- said Mr. Film Historian."