By Dwayne MacInnes
RS-37B glanced down at the galactic navigator situated on the dash again. He had planned this trip away from the hustle and bustle of the Galactic Empire with his familial unit for a long time. As much as it went against his programming RS had the sinking feeling he was lost.
His spousal unit JN-46X noticed the movement. "RS, maybe you should pull over at the next Ion Charging station and get directions."
"I know where we are," RS argued. "This is all part of the plan to get away from it all."
From the backseat a small voice chimed in, "Are we there yet?"
"Just a little further," RS replied in a deadpan tone for the 87th time to that same question. His offspring unit QN-78R was still learning his programming for patience. RS was really hoping that it would kick in soon before he bypassed his own patience subroutine.
"Maybe we can pick up some harmonics on the audio scanner," JN offered as she punched the appropriate button. Unfortunately, only static reached their audio receptors.
"For Assembler's sake," JN said tersely her decibel level increasing slightly. "RS we are even out of range of a good harmonics broadcasting station!"
RS cringed. He knew that JN was about to bypass her own subroutine for patience for she never blasphemed in front of the offspring unit unless she was close to burning a circuit. JN looked out the side view scanner watching the distant stars twinkle in the vacuum of space.
"It's no rust off my olfactory receptors if we break down here in the wilderness and you have to hike back to the Galactic bypass," JN continued.
RS groaned inwardly. The nagging program was just beginning and there were only two ways to stop it. One was to make JN so upset that she blew a fuse and would refuse to communicate with him. That was little better than the nagging program.
The second was to find a good place to stop here in the wilderness for a picnic. A few chrono-measures out of the SUV (Star Utility Vehicle) would ease everyone's temperament. RS looked about the galactic navigator map for anything that would meet his approval here in the wilderness.
RS sighed in relief; there only a few astro-units away were a yellow star with some planets around it. One of those rocks had to have a nice scenic place for a picnic. RS pushed the zoom button on the galactic navigator and studied the different planets.
With much relief, RS noticed that the third planet from the star was mostly aquatic. This would be ideal. There was very little water on the planets where RS lived and worked. In fact, this would be QN's first visit to an aquatic world.
"There!" RS exclaimed putting as much confidence in his vocalization as possible, "There's the planet I was looking for all along." RS lied.
"Are you sure?" JN asked her decibels returning to normal. "It looks pretty wild."
"Of course it is wild," RS countered. "That is why it is called the wilderness."
"Did you pack the hydro-protection lotion?" JN worried.
"Yes," RS said mildly annoyed.
"I don't want to experience that terrible rust we received after visiting that rainforest planet again," JN continued. Once the nagging program began, it would still need to run its course.
"I said I packed it," RS replied letting a little annoyance escape into his voice.
"I'm just making sure," JN said defensively. "Poor, QN had to miss some important programming sessions because of the rust. The instructors loaded him down with homework to make up for his missing time."
"I was there," RS stated. He did not want to hear this argument program again. RS really wished JN would just delete that memory file.
"WOW!" QN cried from the backseat his metal face pressed against the side view scanner as they approached the blue planet.
"Remember we are in the wilderness so we have to leave the local life forms alone," RS lectured like a good parental unit to QN as he maneuvered the SUV for a good parking place on the planet.