Freedom First and others have initiated the Third annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting The Adventures of Gaius Cornelius Ferrarius this week to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo to the right. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

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The Trespassers Are No More

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Neocleveland, NO - USA.
By Sami deQuocson
10 Quad, 1666 

After centuries of fighting, the enemies of the Theocratic States have finally been defeated. According to government officials the last of the "Trespassers" have been caught. The official cleansing should occur as part of the Easter celebration activities planned. The theocratic government will now concentrate on other internal enemies of the state.

Before the Theocratic government overthrew the democratically elected government, the Trespassers supported the efforts of the theocrats. In fact, they were a powerful force that helped push a change in the former constitution which mandated prayer in the public school system.

After this victory, the two groups continued their alliance as they increased their pressure in other educational areas. However, tensions arose in the teaching of biological sciences. A compromise was reached, but the rift had begun.

When the theocrats eventually overthrew the government, the disagreements widened. Further, the party in power refused to compromise on anything. They believed that God had placed them in a position of power to spread his word. There were to be no doubts about what His words were. Thus, there would be no compromises on anything.

Hence, shortly after the theocrats established their government, the number of disagreements continued to develop. Tensions grew. Eventually these differences erupted into outright hostilities. The internal war had begun.

The Trespassers allied themselves with diverse groups inside and outside the country. The external alliances led to the establishment of great restrictions in travel and communication outside of the country. This had the natural side-effect of the building of the 50 foot border walls. The theocrats did not want any interference from outside forces.

The theocracy completely isolated itself from the remainder of the world. Further, the internal rift over the teaching of biological sciences had a disastrous effect. The teaching of what the theocrats called "Darwinism" was strictly forbidden. In this way, evolution -- the underlying principle of all of the biological sciences -- was off limits.

This restriction devastated all of the biological related fields, which included medicine. Doctors were unable to get the training required to be prepared for any unforeseen circumstances. The theocrats told the medical community to trust in God's will.

Naturally, when a "plague" swept through the country killing more than a third of the population, they called it the will of God. However, this event breathed light into the Trespassers as they allied themselves with the Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The theocrats had several laws relating to religious practice. Thus, the non-believers that wished to remain in the country where they were born were forced to establish a religion. Thus, they established The Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was a relatively small gathering of scientifically minded residents of the Theocratic States.

Since the cult retained its scientific heritage, they managed to remain completely untouched by the disease that killed vast numbers of the theocrats. The Trespassers noticed this fact, and sought aid from them. With help of the cult, the Trespasser's numbers stabilized. They had a brief resurgence. However, it was a short lived reprieve from their eventual destruction.

The theocrats saw the alliance of their two greatest foes as the work of Satan. Furthermore, they asserted that the plague was created by the cult. Hence, they increased their pressure for the destruction of the two groups. While the Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was small, they were quite powerful. They continued to advance in many areas while the rest of the country was caught in stagnation. Thus, they have been decidedly difficult to destroy.

However, the Trespassers shared many of the theocratic tendencies. They continued to educate their children in the backwards theocratic schools. Thus, many of the sciences were completely ignored, or greatly hampered. The reason for this is because these religious groups believed that reason was the greatest enemy that faith has. Therefore, the Trespassers were easier targets for the theocrats and their vast numbers.

After all of the battles and conflicts, the Trespasser's numbers dwindled. While it is not truly known if Western Chever, Jr. is actually the last of the Trespassers, it is the claim of the government officials of the Theocratic States. Thus, we will allow them their celebration. In their traditional Easter celebration, Mr. Chever will be crucified on Good Friday.

With his elimination there will no longer be anyone who says, "...and forgive our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us." The passage that gave the group its name. There has been much rejoicing over the end of this dangerous splinter group.

The battle with the "Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" will continue. However, this cult has shown little interest in battling the numerically superior theocrats. Perhaps this will change with the government now being able to concentrate on the scientifically minded cult.

In fact, there has not been a reported death of a cult member at the hands of the government in decades. With a greater concentrated effort, perhaps we shall see if religion can defeat science.