Ralph the Mutant

No one knows how they obtained the nuclear weapons. There was plenty of speculation. It is not unheard of that there were entities sympathetic in high governmental positions. Some of these could have access to the material. Who these sympathizers were and how they got the fissionable material out will likely never be known. What is known is that the perpetrators did not expect the results of their actions.

They certainly expected millions to die in the blast. However, I am sure they did not expect the world-wide devastation that they caused. They did not expect billions to die of starvation. They did not expect the following nuclear winter. They did not expect the flu to be such an effective killer. Most of all, they did not expect to be around to witness the misery and suffering they caused.

While the source of the nuclear material will never be known, the perpetrators did come forward. They made an appearance on the show of one of the conservative radio hosts. After that, many people wanted them killed. However, it was almost universally accepted that they would suffer much more if they had to live with the devastation they caused. Nonetheless, they did not live much longer.

Their high tenet of forgiveness was given to them. Although many did not really forgive them, they just thought they would suffer more if they could see what they had done. The thirteen Christians that killed billions were free to live out their lives how ever they saw fit. They could not take it, and to a person they committed suicide.

They all killed themselves when the biggest thing they did not expect was finally revealed. A year after the event, there was only one birth. I am sure there were plenty of people trying, but only one woman successfully gave birth to a healthy baby boy. There were lots of stillborn children. There were lots of babies that were horribly deformed. There was only one baby who was normal. Only one child that survived for long.

With the radioactivity,the high fevers due to the flu, and all of the other stuff, it was discovered that the surviving men were sterile. Every man who came in for a test, was found to be incapable of having a child. The population of the world went from about seven billion people to less than one billion, but it was going to get a lot smaller. If a species cannot conceive offspring, it is doomed.

Hence, a search for the father of this healthy boy began. Travel during the nine months prior to the birth was difficult; thus, geographically it would be relatively easy to eliminate lots of men. However, there were still lots of men in that particular area. Further, that man may have succumb to one of the many causes of death during that period.

Thus, the search was no easy task. The mother did not always get a name or any other information from many of the men she got close to. It was just one of those things. Fear and uncertainty can make you do things that you would not normally do. Thus, sometimes you seek comfort in the arms of others.

Nevertheless, the search became a worldwide phenomenon. The reporting apparatus that was still in place, gave daily updates on the results of the search. It was as if the entire world stopped to see who the father of the child was.

Weeks went by as the search for the man who could still father children continued. Man after man stepped forward to take the simple DNA test. A call to every man in the city went out. As the interest grew, they wanted results fast. The mother definitely did not have sex with every man in the city, but it is obscure enough that anyone who had been with a stranger eight to ten months previously was asked to come in.

The world watched as test after test was given. Thousands of men stopped in to get their cheek swabbed. Whoever was the father would be an instant celebrity. Who was this mystery man? Who was this -- uh -- mutant?

So, I lived in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul International airport for months. Everyone lived in fear, and we did not know if we were ever going to get out of there. When the killer influenza finally made it to the airport, people started coming and going. The large complex became a makeshift hospital. There was space to tend to those ill with the flu, and most of its infrastructure was still intact. Hence, people would bring friends and loved ones to the airport. While they were there, they would seek comfort with other people doing the same thing. Any encounter would make them feel better, and then they would move on.

I know I make it sound like this type of thing occurred regularly. While it did, I was not involved in that many such couplings. Being mostly immune to the ever changing killer flu, I tended to lots of sick people. I was exhausted most of the time after long days of helping sooth the suffering of those people.

Not to mention that few sought comfort in a pudgy, balding middle-aged man. Mostly, I was looked upon as more of a father figure. Things rarely escalated to -- well -- that type of thing. That is why I did not step forward sooner. I did not think there was any way that it was me.

When my DNA was finally tested, it showed that I was the baby's father. An international day of celebration was held shortly afterward. The human race was not doomed to perpetuate the species by artificial means alone. I was celebrated all over the world.

Now, this mutant travels all over the world to father children. I have lost track to the number of children that I have fathered. However, I have been at it so long that my first child -- that boy -- has started fathering children too. The human race should be able to survive now. They should survive all thanks to me -- Ralph the mutant. I saved the world!