April 2011 Archives

For Dwayne via io9: He's so strong he can purloin letters from the alphabet. It's official — Electroverse Spider-Man is my favorite incarnation of the hero.

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Chapter Sixty-Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

The peninsula had changed greatly since Prince William had been there last. It had only been a few weeks, but unrest can change things quickly. It seemed to him that there were riots and lots of looting. The cities he drove through were in great disarray. However, he could go nowhere else in Morica, so he had to find a place to stay.

Although the Prince thought the place was chaotic when he was last here, it seemed that it was much worse now. The governor's assassination appeared to turn the people into a raving mob. The Prince wondered who was behind it and why. He thought in passing that it was his chance for a kingdom. He tried to suppress that thought.

He headed for the capitol. He thought he would stay in the same room he had when he was working on his father's release from prison. The people who ran the place knew him, so they may be willing to rent him a room. Otherwise, he would have to find some other place, and that could be risky.

After spending another night camping, he was ready to sleep in a bed. He would easily make it to the capitol in his suncar as long as the roads were clear. The thought of being in the capitol in the midst of all of the intrigue brought the thought of kingdom back into his head. Nonetheless, he had to be cautious. He was a stranger in this land. The roadblock warned him of the dangers within the borders.

It was late morning when he arrived in the capitol. It had definitely been a war zone. The destruction was massive. The road was still passable, but there was debris everywhere. The Prince continued to drive cautiously. Winding his way around the wreckage on the road, he made it to the capitol building. It was demolished. The prison that held his father, was a pile of rubble. That filled him with dread.

He drove the short distance to the hotel that he had stayed. Remarkably, it was still standing. He drove up to it and parked. He cautiously entered the hotel. There was no one there. He looked around and called out, but there was no answer. He waited around for a few minutes, but no one came. He continued to look around for a brief time, but the hotel did not appear to be staffed.

There were options. He could try somewhere else. He could camp out again. However, since he was there, the Prince decided to try his old room. He walked up the stairs. He tried the elevator, but he noticed there was no power in the building. He walked down the hall the room he stayed in for several weeks. He recognized the hallway and walked cautiously along in semi-darkness. He found his door and knocked.

There was no reply so he tried the door -- it was unlocked. He thought what harm could it do? Therefore, he walked in and locked the door behind him. He felt that the bed being made was a good sign the room was empty. However, it was just a guess. After all, they had a housekeeping service when he stayed there. They made the bed when he was away.

He plopped on the bed and gave out a heavy sigh. Gunfire outside awoke him from his revelry. He was not as far from the violence as he thought. Several other thoughts raced through his head. However, he felt somewhat safe in his room. It was locked, it was a few floors up, and no one knew he was there. It was a feeling he had not had for several months. He was not a cog in the turnings of this state.

He listened for more gunfire, but he heard nothing. As he listened, he fell asleep. It was a fitful and restful sleep. It was another thing he had not felt for quite some time. He felt refreshed when he awoke from his short nap. It was time to find some food. It was around lunch time. He thought about dipping into his supplies, but then he thought he would have a look around. Thus, he would wander around and look for someplace to eat. He could also discover what was happening around the capitol.

He messed up the bed as a sort of signal to himself. If it was as he left it, then he would feel better about it being empty. If it were made, then he would worry about the situation a bit more.

He left the room and began spiraling away from the hotel. He left his car where he parked it, and simply walked around getting farther and farther from the hotel. Eventually, he ended up at the only open place he could find. It was a bar a few blocks away from both the hotel and the capitol building.

He asked the bartender if they served food.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I am just a bit hungry," replied the Prince. "If you offered some sort of sandwich or something...."

"If you got money -- we got food," she replied with as surly a voice as she could muster.

"What kind of money do you accept?"

"What kind do you have?"

"I do not have any local currency, but I have some Lakeland coins."

"The local currency -- as you call it -- is worthless. How much Lakeland money do you have?"

"I have enough for a sandwich and a drink."

"We probably could get a ham and cheese back there..."

"A what?"

"Ham and cheese..."

"What is ham?"

"You have never had ham? Well, mister sit back there...


"Well -- William -- You are in for a treat."

"Very well."

"What would you like to wash that down?"

"What do you recommend?"

"Well -- seeing as you have never had ham -- how about a beer?"

"A beer would be good."

"You have heard of beer -- but not ham?"

"I am not from around here."

"Really? I would have never guessed. How did you get passed the boarder guards?"

"My natural charm..."

"Hah! We'll get right on that sandwich."

The bartender poured the Prince a beer. It was a dark bitter drink. It was not like the week watery stuff that was brewed at the castle. However, he enjoyed it. He loosened up a bit more and flirted more intently with the bartender. After several minutes she brought him his sandwich. It was just like the bacon sandwich he had back home. He wondered what other differences there were in the language.

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For Dwayne via io9: The villains on The Electric Company aren't evil as much as they're just a bunch of weirdos. Here's the time his lunch was ruined by some performance artist who put a rubber glove in his sandwich.

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Chapter Sixty-Three

By Douglas E. Gogerty

With the Maritime Kingdom's army marching towards them, Princess Angelina's forces gathered together. The generals determined the best location to engage the incoming army. The incoming army was not completely unexpected, so the Princess's army was quickly in fighting order.

The Princess and her generals decided to abandon the siege of the city, and pull all of their forces south of the Nunu capitol city. In this way, they would not have to worry about the Nunu forces flanking them. While this would allow the Nunu army and the Maritime army to join forces, at least the Lakeland army would have a place to retreat. Further, they could find out what the Maritime Kingdom's plans were.

The Princess watched from a safe distance as the Maritime forces marched unaccosted into the Nunu's fortified capitol city. The Princess felt that it was fortunate that both armies were now within the city's fortifications. The Princess gave the order for the Lakeland army to close off all of the exits. In this way, they trapped both armies inside the city. The Lakeland forces returned to their siege of the city.

In an effort to escape the city, the armies within the city tested the strength of the Lakeland resolve. Fighting broke out at the entrances to the city. However, these entrances were choke points, and few soldiers could engage each other in combat. With the Maritime kingdom new to the surroundings, they did not fully utilize the Nunu defenses. Thus, the Lakeland forces did well in enclosing them in the city.

The trebuchets resumed their assault on the city's interior. The Lakeland forces continued to leave the walls untouched. The Princess had several soldiers watching to make sure no one climbed over the walls. They wanted to trap the armies inside rather than engage them on the field. With even more individuals inside the city, the resources would not last very long.

The bodies of Nunu, Maritime, and Lakeland forces began to clog the entry ways. Eventually, the communication between the Nunu and Maritime forces allowed a greater use of the city's defenses. Thus, the tide turned in their favor. However, the Lakeland forces used the corpses to further clog the entryway as they backed away. The engagement between the two forces became even more limited.

Gunfire erupted from defensive holes in the walls. The Maritime army shot their guns from the walls to further drive the Lakeland forces away from the entrance. The Lakeland army was forced into using its turtle shell type defense shield. It was a heavy steal roof that took 14 soldiers to move. It pushed the bullets aside, but was quite unwieldy. The Lakeland forces put several of these at the entrances to shield several hundred soldiers. These fortifications supported enough soldiers to keep the entry blockades in place.

The fighting became even more intensified. While the Maritime army was not used to the surroundings, they were quite well drilled. They continued to fight against the Lakeland forces. The entrances became slick and red with blood. However, the Nunu and Maritime armies were trapped inside the city. Nothing they did broke them free from the Lakeland forces.

Princess Angelina went to the entries to cheer on the soldiers. This was unheard of in Lakeland history. The generals attempted to prevent her from going, but she wanted to personally urge the fighting. With each visit, the soldiers pushed harder. The Maritime soldiers took the brunt of the surges as they piled up in front of the entry gates.

The Lakeland soldiers stacked each enemy corpse in the way. If the Maritime or Nunu soldiers wanted better access for fighting, they had to put the bodies inside the city walls. This would also work to the advantage of the Lakeland army when they began to rot. The situation was working in Lakeland's favor in most regards. The Princess urged the men on to continue to press the advantage.

A Maritime soldier noticed the Princess and formed a plan. In her finery, she was quite out of place. Thus, he knew she must be important. Therefore, he had soldiers target her. The gunfire became less random and more directed. The Princess felt the danger. However, instead of shrinking for the danger, she urged her soldiers even more. They stepped up to protect her. The battle grew greatly in intensity. The soldiers in the city fell with more regularity.

The trebuchets also increased their fire. The flaming bales became more effective. Those at the gate were able to direct the fire a little bit more. Thus, several interior buildings were set ablaze. They were quickly extinguished, but precious water was used. If the trapped armies were unable to break free, their resources would be quickly diminished.

It was just about dusk when the Nunu and Maritime armies retreated. The roar of battle suddenly became silent. An eerie silence fell over the entry gates. The Princess urged caution. The lull in violence could make the soldiers drop their guards. The Princess stated that is how tragedy strikes. Her army kept a careful watch.

Suddenly a shot rang out, and the Princess fell. Chaos ensued. The Lakeland troops stormed into the city. They lost all discipline. The Nunu and Maritime soldiers were overwhelmed by the siege. The Lakeland troops slaughtered anyone they came across. The sudden surge caught everyone off guard, and just as quickly as it started it ended. Thousands of dead soldiers littered the court yard. Few of them were from Lakeland. The Maritime and Nunu army quickly surrendered. They were not prepared for such a strong push at that time.

The King of Nunu was captured, and brought before the generals. The fight for Nunu was over, but the cost was high. So many dead soldiers scattered around the city. The Maritime generals knew they made a mistake in entering the city, and it cost them deeply.

However, what happened to the Princess. All of the soldiers asked when the fighting ended. In the confusion, a group of soldiers carried the Princess to the hospital. The uninjured were barred from entering the hospital. Thus, few knew what had happened to the Princess. Further, the doctors were too busy with the wounded to give any updates. Thus, everyone sat around waiting for news. It would have to wait until morning.

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Blog Against Theocracy Logo

Freedom First and others have initiated the Fifth annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting Reunited... this week and next to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement

Part One

By Douglas E. Gogerty

Perry Richards was sitting in his living room watching some TV when there was a knock on his door. When he looked out the window, he expected to see some kids there. They often came to his home raising money for the school, but was surprised to find a man in a suit standing on his porch. The man stood there patiently with a briefcase in his hand. It was rather late in the day for any type of business call.

"Hello? What can I do for you?" he asked after he opened the door.

"I am Minister Scott Walker," the man replied showing Perry some documentation. "Are you Perry Richards?"

"Why -- yes I am. What can I do for you?"

"May I come in?"


"This is rather serious business, and I would rather not do it out here."

"Yes. Of course. Please," Perry replied showing the man into his home.

Perry offered Mr. Walker a chair, and sat on the couch. Mr. Walker placed his brief case on Perry's coffee table and opened it up. He looked over a few documents he removed from the case. After writing some notes down on one of his pads, he spoke.

"Where is your wife?" Minister Walker asked.

"Anita is at a church event. She will be home later."

"That is a bit of an inconvenience, but no matter."

"What is this about?" Perry asked.

"As I stated before my name is Scott Walker. I am a mister with Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement."

"Is this about the atheist family down the street?"

"No sir. This is about your infractions."

"My infractions? What are you talking about?"

"It seems that we have quite a list here."

"There must be some sort of mistake. I have faithfully kept all 10 commandments."

"Is that right?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"What did you do in Iraq?"

"I heard the call of my country."

"That is admirable, but what did you do?"

"What are you getting at?"

"How many people did you kill?"

"I don't know -- a couple perhaps?"

"You do know there are no exceptions for the 10 commandments."


"They do not say, Thou shalt not kill, unless your country asks you to.."

"I was just doing my duty."

"You were not even enlisted in the military. You were a private contractor."

"But, I did go to help my country."

"For money."

"Well, they did pay me."

Minister Walker looked at his papers again, and said, "Did you buy a new car last year?"

"Why yes. Yes I did. Is that against the law?"

"Why did you purchase this vehicle?"

"The previous one was getting a bit shabby."

"Is it not true that your neighbors purchased a new car not 3 months prior."

"Well yes."

"Therefore, is it not true that you purchased your car in response to their purchase?"

"I suppose. I guess I was keeping up with the Joneses as they say."

"There you have it. Coveting thy neighbor's goods."

"I can explain..."

"How many times have you seen the movie Sophie's Choice?"

"I don't know. Lots."

"What about Doubt?"

"I have seen that one a bunch of times."

"Out of Africa?"

"Many times."

"Why have you repeatedly viewed these movies?"

"I love Meryl Streep..."

"You know she is married."

"Let me finish. I love Meryl Streep's movies."

"You can lie to yourself all you wish Mr. Perry. However, I know when a man is coveting another man's wife."


"Mr. Perry, where do you spend the first week of August?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Where do you spend the first week of August?"

"Since you know so much, you probably know full well that I spend that week camping with my brother."

"And, of those many camping trips, how many of them include a trip to church?"

"Well -- there isn't a church nearby..."

"Is that how you Observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you?"

"Come on!"

"I am sorry that these commandments pose such an inconvenience to you."

"God dammit! That isn't right."

"Using the Lord's name in vein -- I will add that to the list."

"Hey! that isn't fair. We are not working on those days in the woods. They are still days of rest."

"In the past 8 years, what have you done between Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"Those have been brutal. Most of the time I work the entire time without -- a -- day off..."

"Is that how you observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you?"

"But if I didn't I might lose my job!"

"I see. Your job is more important than your immortal soul."


"When was the last time you called your parents?"

"Wwhat does that have to do with anything?"


"I guess it has been a couple of months."


"It could be 8."

"Is that how you honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you?

"Now just a minute...."

"Mr. Perry, in a few short minutes I have demonstrated that you have broken 6 commandments."

"This isn't fair."

"You mentioned the atheist family down the block."


"Sir, you know darn well that they are Episcopalian."

"That is the same thing."

"And so you are baring false witness against thy neighbor."

"I never..."

"Miss Jennifer Sandford," stated Mr. Walker looking at one of his notes.

"God Ddddd..."

"So, Mr. Perry. When you said you keep the ten commandments, which ones did you mean?"

"I have never stolen anything or ki -- never stolen anything."

"Shall I go on?"

"Now just a minute. I was just a kid when I stole that candy bar. That doesn't count right?"

"Mr. Perry, what is the most important thing in your life."

"Well -- God of course!"

"What have you tirelessly worked for? You even risked life and limb by going to Iraq to acquire it?"


"Further, what have you tirelessly fought to keep?"

"Are you talking about money here?"

"Sir, our records show that you have done everything in your power to keep as much of your income as possible."

"Darn right! I work hard for a living. The money I make is mine!"

"You see sir, in our interpretation, money has become your false idol."

"What? No, I do not put money above God!"

"Do I need to remind you about the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"That is crazy?"

"Not according to the council at Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement."

"Well -- but... Why are you singling me out?"

"Matthew 7:1-2"

"Pardon me?"

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

"It is about the atheist -- er -- Episcopalians down the street isn't it?"

"Because of the judgment you passed upon them, you are being judged."

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Blog Against Theocracy Logo

Freedom First and others have initiated the Fifth annual "Blog Against Theocracy" event. I am interupting Reunited... this week and next to participate in this blogswarm. I hope the story I wrote is very fitting for this weekend's event. For more information on other blogs participating click on the logo. Thanks and enjoy! (As always, comments welcome!)

Biblical Law And Ministerial Enforcement

Part Two

By Douglas E. Gogerty

The evidence was stacking up against Perry. There were records of him breaking every one of the 10 Commandments. He did not know what to do.

"To err is human, to forgive divine," Perry stated.

"That is Alexander Pope. It is not in the Bible."

"So what do I have to do?"

"According to our records, you have broken all 10 of the commandments."

"That is bad."

"Have you taken a kid of the goats, a female without blemish, to your priest?"

"What? No! Why?"

"Have you not read your Bible?"

"Of course! We read it regularly."

"Then you should be familiar with Leviticus 4:27-35"

"Oh yes, I am, but I am not too good with numbers. Refresh my memory."

"And if any one of the common people sin through ignorance, while he doeth somewhat against any of the commandments of the LORD concerning things which ought not to be done, and be guilty; Or if his sin, which he hath sinned, come to his knowledge: then he shall bring his offering, a kid of the goats, a female without blemish, for his sin which he hath sinned. And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the sin offering, and slay the sin offering in the place of the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of the blood thereof with his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all the blood thereof at the bottom of the altar. And he shall take away all the fat thereof, as the fat is taken away from off the sacrifice of peace offerings; and the priest shall burn it upon the altar for a sweet savour unto the LORD; and the priest shall make an atonement for him, and it shall be forgiven him. And if he bring a lamb for a sin offering, he shall bring it a female without blemish. And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the sin offering, and slay it for a sin offering in the place where they kill the burnt offering. And the priest shall take of the blood of the sin offering with his finger, and put it upon the horns of the altar of burnt offering, and shall pour out all the blood thereof at the bottom of the altar: And he shall take away all the fat thereof, as the fat of the lamb is taken away from the sacrifice of the peace offerings; and the priest shall burn them upon the altar, according to the offerings made by fire unto the LORD: and the priest shall make an atonement for his sin that he hath committed, and it shall be forgiven him."

"Oh!" replied Perry. "That sounds like a Jewish thing. I am a Christian."

"So, what have you done for your forgiveness?"

"I have prayed to our Lord Jesus Christ and ask for his forgiveness."

"And you believe that is enough?"

"Of course."

"Are you sure you have read your Bible?"

"Sir, that is an insult!"

"Among other verses there is Matthew 6:14-15. I will state it: For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

"The people down the block."

"Among others."

"They did turn our Johnny onto the homosexual lifestyle with their gay agenda!"

"We are well aware of the situation. What is your point?"

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

"Go on..."


"Did you put your son to death?"

"No. Of course not."

"But you firmly believe that this Bible verse is important."


"You are sitting there in a wool shirt and denim jeans, and you find this Bible verse important."

"Why does what I am wearing have any bearing?"

"Leviticus 19:19?"


"Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee."

"Goooo -- That is crazy!"

"Where did you go on your anniversary?"

"My wife and I love Red Lobster."

"Leviticus 11 -- And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you."

"No lobster?"

"And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be cloven-footed, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

"Which means?"

"You are to find pork unclean and are forbidden from eating it."

"Again, you are getting into all of this Jewish stuff."

"This is the book of Leviticus."


"Do you not know that your quote is also from Leviticus."

"It is? Oh yes. I knew that."

"Why do you ignore all of the other commands in that book, but one?"

"I don't eat ravens? That's in there right?"

"Leviticus 11:15"

"I knew it!"

"I stand corrected. Why do you ignore most of the prohibitions in Leviticus but find chapter 20 verse 13 to be very important?"

"Is that the man lying with another man thing?"


"I hate knowing that Johnny -- my son -- is an abomination unto God."

"But you do not think twice about lobster or pork being likewise revolting to God -- according to Leviticus."


"Or wearing two different types of fabrics."

"No, I am strictly against the gay agenda, and their recruitment of my son."

"What has happened to John that is so terrible? You stated that you did not kill him as the verse instructs."

"He is living with some man in Canada."

"And you have not forgiven him or your neighbors?"

"It is Canada man! With their socialized medicine..."

"Once again, we come to Matthew 7:1-2"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Judge not, that ye be not judged..."

"Right! Right!" Perry interupted. "So, because I judged people like my son and the people down the block based upon Leviticus..."

"That is how you were judged."

"So, not only my transgressions against the 10 Commandments are going to be held against me, but also the laws in Leviticus."


"So, what are you going to do with me?"


"For real?"

"It is the prescribed punishment for your trespasses."

"Isn't there constitutional prohibitions against cruel and unusual punishment?"

"Like you ignoring certain passages of certain sections of the Bible, our office is allowed to ignore sections of the Constitution."

"That is not fair!"

"We were not the ones that did away with the separation of church and state."

"That separation of church and state thing is not anywhere in the constitution."

"Like I said, if you wish to ignore certain sections of important documents, so can we."

"All of this is so unfair. Just because I turned in the people who corrupted my Johnny."

"It is true. We would have never investigated you had you not born witness against your neighbor."

"So, you are blaming me for this situation."

"Galations 6:7."

"I am sure."

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

"I find no comfort in that. Will this stoning hurt?"

"Perhaps a little, but we have developed technology to ease the pain," Mr. Walker said as he pulled an item out of his briefcase.

"What is it?"

"It is the latest in stoning technology."

"It looks like a bullet."

"It is," replied Minister Walker with a little pride. "It is a stone bullet."

"Um -- er -- isn't there anything I can do?"

"I am afraid not. The council has already made its findings."

"Hey!" shouted Perry as an idea came to his head. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! That is in the Bible somewhere isn't it? It isn't Alexander Pope again I hope."

"John 8:7. Thank you for reminding me. I almost forgot."

"Forgot? Forgot what?"

"My assistant is waiting in the car."


"We bring sinless children on these trips. They get to cast the first stones. We have to follow the rules of the Bible."

--- The End ---

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Recent Comments

  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks for the kind words Kerry. I too am very read more
  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks Christian! I too had a DOS computer. read more
  • Christian: A great story, i remember my first computer with DOS read more
  • Kerry Glasscock: Good story. I love that Dwayne. nice work! read more
  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks Susanne. You are correct, the OS of computers has read more
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  • Douglas Gogerty: Hey Rushan! Sadly no, I do not have one. Thanks read more
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