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Around the CampfireWhere the good stories are told. |
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Around the CampfireWhere the good stories are told. |
Greetings and felicitations, I am Gwendolyn a wood elf and wealth adjuster. You do not know what a wealth adjuster is? The easy answer is that I am a thief. However, that title carries many negative connotations with it that are not strictly accurate. To be sure, there are thieves and then there are thieves. Now that I have muddied the waters a bit let me clear up some things in our profession.
Most thieves belong to the Thieves Guild. Our organization regulates and set strict rules that our members must follow. In exchange, members receive some degree of legal protection. Now, there are rogue thieves, who do not belong to the guild. I fear to say these rogues give us all a bad name. These unregulated thieves will steal and rob from anyone. They do not refrain from using violence to obtain their goals that can even lead to ghastly murders.
To be sure, we as a guild, hunt down these rogues. We cannot afford to have anyone using our title running amok doing whatever he or she very well pleases just to obtain a handful of silver crowns. Some of the rules are that we do not rob from the poor, nor do we rob from fellow members. We also frown on using violence to rob someone. Furthermore, we do not condone murder. Only in the case of self-defense is a guild member allowed to use violence. After all, any idiot can club someone from behind and lift his or her coin purse.
Now that I have established my profession, I will now regale you with who I am. In previous publications, I established that I became the Grand Champion of the arena in Imperial City. Many know me by my title as the "Black Arrow". Unfortunately, many more know me by the romanticized and embellished woodcuts printed in fliers. These show me in the arena as an Amazon -- sans any piece of garment for modesty -- often holding a severed head in my left hand and a raised gore covered long sword in my right.
I cannot tell you how many people are a little disappointed to see a lithe average built Wood Elf armed mainly with a bow when I tell them who I am. The Imperial Arena loves good promotion and nothing packs the arena better than the idea of a naked muscle-bound woman in combat. Nonetheless, I can still fill the seats when I make my special post-retirement engagements in the arena.
Therefore, you now know my official profession as a retired gladiator and you know I belong to the guild. However I am not merely a guild member, I am also the leader of the Thieves Guild. That is right I am the Shadow Fox.
Many of you dear readers may doubt the existence of the Thieves Guild and more will doubt the existence of the Shadow Fox. However, I can assure you both exist and we take great pains on making sure that the general public is mostly unaware of either one.
As the Shadow Fox, I am even an enigma to most thieves in the guild. However, I am the overall head of the organization. With the help of the guild leaders, we assign various tasks to the most suited thieves. Believe it or not, most of our work comes from the government. We are adept on securing secrets, restoring lost possessions, and just knowing the everyday buzz on the street.
To be fair, we are not the only organization often employed by the Empire. The members of the senate often use the Assassins Guild to settle debts in a less subtle manner. To say there is a rivalry between the Assassins and the Thieves Guilds would be an understatement. Fortunately, when it comes to being unnoticed the Thieves Guild will always beat the Dark Brotherhood.
Now, as I was saying, being the head of the guild sounds prestigious. Unfortunately, it is also a lot of paperwork and sitting behind a desk. So every once in awhile I would assign myself a task, much to the chagrin of the guild leaders, just to keep myself in tip-top condition.
It came to pass that a few months after the whole "Tiberium Letters" affair that a group of adventurers found their way into Imperial City. Word quickly passed around that they were associates of Brunis, the evil mage I killed in Giland. I knew that one of these strangers was a mage. If they were looking for revenge, a little research with the Mages Guild would discover my suspension from that organization over the fortunate (or unfortunate) demise of Brunis.
I also took the time to scout this quartet of adventurers. I heard many things and learned even more. I heard the so-called ranger had killed a dragon. On observing him moving clumsily around town I figured the dragon was old and decided to choose ‘suicide by knight' which is more common than you can imagine.
There was a rogue thief claiming the name of King of the North. A fairly good thief I will begrudge but not much of a fighter. However, I would choose him over the ranger to back me in a scrap. I kept my spies on him to make sure he did not try anything disruptive in town.
The party also boasted of a bard. He was a decent singer and tale-teller, but with dubious tastes of the carnal nature. I fear his hormones tend to make most of his decisions. Not too terribly good if one is attacked by a succubus, nymph, or even a group of choirboys.
The final member of the party was a sorcerer of average quality. However, his street smarts bespoke of some time traveling with a troupe of performers. I can tell you that if I had the thief under watch I had the sorcerer under double watch. He was the one rumored to be an associate of Brunis.
I soon put any concerns I needed to fear this band of adventurers to rest. They were at best a group of amateurs. Nonetheless, I decided it was best for all involved if I left town for a while. As I previously stated we thieves do not kill if we do not have to. There would be no honor in dispatching this small group.
It so happened that the Emperor had sent another group of adventurers into the city sewers for its annual clean up. Now, a maintenance organization makes sure the city's sewers operate efficiently; however over the course of a year, things move into the sewer. Nasty things and the Emperor will pay handsomely for a group of adventurers to clean them out.
Usually, the adventurers are lower ability and desperate. The money is good, but the danger is great, and the smell is even worse. It happened that no one had heard from the latest group for over two weeks. The Emperor had petitioned the Thieves Guild to look into it. I personally accepted.
I grabbed my trusty longbow, elven armor, short sword, and my enchanted shield that dispels all forms of hostile magic as well as a few other do-dads. Little did I know I was about to engage in one of the strangest adventures of my life.
There are many ways into the city sewer, most of them quite well known. However, I did not want anyone to notice my entrance -- in the unlikely event someone was on the lookout for a person such as me investigating the disappearance of the party of adventurers.
I am good friends with a certain proprietor of a food stall, you may have heard of his shop, "Lord of the Onion Rings". He has been known to be interested in certain... ah, artifacts that are not strictly legal. So, we have an agreement for our mutual benefit. Now, this businessman has a secret entrance behind his stall that leads to the sewers. He figures it is wise to have an escape route close to where he works and lives. I cannot argue, though personally the sewers would not be my first choice.
To say the least, I found my way into the city sewers without anyone the wiser. One thing many people do not realize is that sewers are not only smelly but also quite dark. I have stated before that most elves can see in low light, but are utterly blind in pitch darkness. I have also stated that I know a night sight spell that only lasts a minute that allows me to see in complete darkness.
It has been a quest of mine to find a spell, talisman, or enchanted trinket that would to allow me to see in the dark for extended periods of time. So far, my search has been futile. I have located spells that would allow me to generate light. However, if this were what I truly wanted any torch or lantern would serve my purpose. Alas, I again found myself forced with muttering that simple spell every sixty seconds.
One should note, it is not easy to mutter any spell, including simple ones, when you are gagging over the smell of a city's accumulation of filth. Sure, the underground waterworks are supposed to wash away the sewage into the nearby river; however, we are talking about thousands of people voiding themselves several times a day. Further, the annual maintenance had not happened yet. So the occasional dam or stagnate pool of waste were starting to accumulate.
I choked out the spell that allowed me a quick view of where I was. I think it may have been better not knowing exactly what was around me. Nonetheless, I started on my quest. It was not long before I picked up the trail of the adventurers. Seeing as how they were composed mainly of the non-rogue types and stealth was not in their main interest, I did not have much difficulty.
With a piece of cloth wrapped over my mouth and nose, I was able to keep the worst of the vile scent a bay. At least, I would like to believe I was. In any case, I continued to gag and choke out my incantation that allowed me to navigate through the dark and damp sewers.
I quickly came across an old campsite the party of adventurers had prepared a week or more ago. The charred remains of a campfire lay upon the cold and slimy flagstones of the sewer floor. I guess no one bothered to warn the party that having a fire down in the sewers was risky at best.
A pocket of confined methane gas could easily explode any unwitting party member to smithereens. Despite the adequate ventilation of the sewers, this catastrophe has happened more than once in the past. Fortunately, the sewer's construction was first rate, so the pressure from the blasts tended to funnel down the long corridors.
Sometimes the blasts would actually help the maintenance crew by removing many of the obstacles that obstructed the optimal function of the sewers. These maintenance crews would often contain at least one mage or priest that could conjure up a decent light spell to help them navigate and work in this subterranean world. Thus, most fires were unnecessary.
It was obvious that the party I was after did not meet with such a fate because their footprints led further down the dank and smelly corridor. I kept my short sword ready in case I came upon one of the denizens of the sewers. These were mostly composed of giant rats. These animals about the size of a large dog somehow thrived down here. I do not even want to think about what they ate in order to survive.
I did not travel far when I came to the scene of a struggle. It appeared that another group of humanoids ambushed the adventurers at this point. I could easily read from the footprints and blood splatters against the walls that the fight went poorly for the adventurers. The party's struggle was not very long and they were quickly subdued and taken prisoner.
I should point out that not only giant rats live in the sewers. Those seeking to escape from the eye of the law or civilization often made their way down here. That is why many of the maintenance crews often employ a novice member of the Fighters Guild or two. Of course, if there were any such people down here, the maintenance crews hoped the annual party of adventures would take care of them first.
Unfortunately, it looks like the adventurers were the ones who were the worst of it this time. I could not understand immediately why the ambushers did not just dispatch the party and dump their bodies in the deep channels of raw sewage that ran down the middle of the corridors. I could tell that the unfortunate adventurers became the unwelcome guest of some other party.
I followed the trail as it wound down the labyrinthine corridors and over more than a few bridges that occasionally crossed the river of filth. Occasionally the bones of rats and other small mammals littered the slime-covered flags. I stealthily and unerringly followed a trail until it led to a blank wall.
I have had experience with trails suddenly stopping at walls to know that I had come across a secret entrance. It only took me a couple of moments to find the trigger, a rusted iron ring set in the stone floor, which opened the door.
I quickly slipped passed the door before it slid back to the closed position. Here I found the random torch set into the wall. As I sighed in relief from not having to mutter that infernal dark sight spell again, I realized that the smell of sewage diminished noticeably. That or I was finally getting used to it.
A quick glance in the flickering light revealed several shattered crates and barrels littering one of side of the new corridor. This tunnel was not an original part of the sewers and led straight from the wall. I also noticed that amongst the debris of shattered containers there appeared an iron bound chest about the size of a hatbox.
The quality of the lock told me that something of great value must be stored inside. My lock picks made quick work of the lock. As I flung open the top, a gust of wind blew from the box extinguishing the torch and leaving me in pitch black.
I was in mid mutter of renewing my dark sight when I heard a voice echo across the corridor.
"Ah, thanks old chap. It was getting a little musty in there."
I froze momentarily as I noticed in the dark two flaming red orbs rising from the box I held in my hand. I do not need to tell you that freezing in horror like this can be very unhealthy for a thief. I completely forgot to finish my spell and could only stare in fascination as the two orbs rose up to the level of my eyes.
"Sorry, I didn't realize you were female. Well, in any case I can't thank you enough for finally freeing me from that beastly chest," the voice said.
I slowly realized that the red orbs were the "thing's" eyes and it was now looking at me face to face. I still had a hard time regaining my composure and the first words out of my mouth were not to summon my dark sight spell, but instead a simple, "Who are you?"
"Why I guess you could say I am nobody," the thing said and then began to laugh.
The laughter put me enough at ease that my mind finally relaxed and I was able to function. Before the voice finished its laughing, I summoned the dark sight spell again.
There standing in front of me, or more accurately floating, was a disembodied skull.
"Get it? Nobody, because I have no body," the skull explained.
"Yeah, I get it," I replied dryly. "How did you end up as...?" I trailed off, for I could not figure out how exactly to phrase my question.
"As a disembodied floating skull that has two flaming red orbs in its eye sockets and can talk?" the skull finished. "Well, I wasn't always in this state. I used to be an apprentice to a mighty mage. Being ambitious, one day I found a tome hidden by my master.
"I asked myself, ‘Mobius, (for that is my real name) what arcane knowledge does this book contain?'
"I knew that if I could find some secret spell that would allow me to attain greatness in a hurry my boring internship would be at an end. So, I opened the book and began to read.
"The words were captivating. But, not in the usual sense. They literally capture my mind and I could not stop reading. The words tumbled out of my mouth and an enchantment began to build. First, I noticed that my skin began to dissolve. I did not feel any pain for my entire focus was on the words that I could not tear myself away from speaking aloud.
"Then my legs disappeared, yet I did not drop to the ground. I kept on speaking and I tried to force myself away from the book. It was not long after that my torso and then my arms vanished. Yet the book did not drop. Finally, in a last desperate attempt, I ushered up every ounce of willpower and I tore my eyes away from the book.
"So here I am a floating skull because I was able to quit while I was a head," the skull started laughing again. "Get it? A head, because I am a head."
"Yeah, I get it," I replied dryly. "That isn't what really happened was it?"
"Well, no. I used to be a jester and I pissed off a wizard," Mobius replied.
"And the chest?" I queried further.
"He figured he would use me as a bookend. I can tell you that being a bookend is rather dull, so I used to tell jokes to amuse myself. I guess he did not have much of a sense of humor for he boxed me up and dropped me down a privy," Mobius said. "Imagine dropping me down the toilet like that and in a box that only he had the key to. How rude!
"Thank the Gods you were able to open the lock. I can't tell you how long I've been down here. I also can't tell you how many people have tried to open the box and failed.
"So in gratitude I, Mobius, King of the jesters and jester to the king is at your service."
"I believe I've heard someone else use that line before," I said.
"Stole it from me I'm sure."
I soon started my travels down the corridor again with a floating skull now following me. The one advantage of a floating skull is that they generally do not make noise. Well, I guess the average floating skull does not. I really do not know how many floating skulls there are but I can only assume that not all of them chatter incessantly as Mobius does.
It took me quite some time to press upon Mobius to be silent before I returned him to the box. I guess that did it because Mobius just hovered there for a moment with his mandible agape before he finally clapped it shut with an audible click.
Soon, we again encountered torches lighting the corridor. I took advantage of every shadow and obstacle as I made my way down the hall. I probably would have been less conspicuous if I did not have this floating skull hovering over me everywhere I went.
Fortunately, we did not encounter anything, not even a giant rat. Eventually, we found a stout wooden door set into the side of the hallway. The door boasted a barred window that usually spoke to the fact it guarded a gaol or dungeon. As quickly as I did with the box containing Mobius, I had the lock on the door picked.
I swung it open slowly and started to creep in when I suddenly stopped.
"Ah, you know Mobius, we need a rear guard here. Do you think you can handle it?" I inquired.
"Not a problem, mate. I'll keep my eyes peeled," again the skull started to laugh. "Get it? Peeled, because my eyes have no lids and are peeled."
"Yeah, I get it," I replied dryly. "Just keep it down so no one can hear you and warn me if you see or hear anything coming this way."
"Right-o. Cheers," Mobius replied as I started down the hall.
I did not have far to go before I came upon a large room lined with cells. The first few cells contained a person stripped down to her undergarments. It was curious that there was no guard on duty. Nonetheless, I crept up to the first cell containing a female orc wearing only a dirty shift.
Thank the Gods for that, because no one should ever see an orc in anything less than a shift. Well, unless it is another orc I suppose.
I peered around the bars and studied the orc for a while. She was sitting on the edge of a wooden cot stuffed with filthy straw. Her mottled green head was in her hands as she grumbled below her breath.
"Psst," I hissed to get her attention. The orc's head shot up and stared at me in surprise.
"By the blood of Uranus!" she exclaimed.
"What?!" I replied in surprise.
"Huh?" she replied in turn, "You do not know of Uranus the god of the sky?"
"Oh," I said, as I finally understood what she said. "Sorry, thought you meant something else.
"I'm here to save you and your party."
The orc ran over to the bars in excitement, "That is wonderful. With my group and yours we should be able to defeat the vampires who have taken up residence down here."
"Excuse me. You said vampires, right?" I asked.
"Yes, they captured us and are going to use us as food. But when we combine our forces we should be able to defeat them handedly," the orc replied with confidence.
"You must have a good group of soldiers to have made it this far," the orc continued. "How large is your party?"
"Ah, I guess you could say two at best."
"What, only two of you. You must have had to battle your way down here and taken many casualties."
"Well, not exactly I came by myself."
"I thought you said there were two of you."
"I said two at best. It is a little hard to explain my companion."
"By Thor's blood how do..."
"I thought you believed in Uranus," I interrupted.
"To orcs -- Uranus is Thor," the orc started to explain.
"Whoa! What was that?" the voice of Mobius exclaimed behind me.
The orc jumped back from the cell's bars with a shriek.
"It's not what you think," I said to both Mobius and the orc at the same time.
I turned to Mobius. "She was explaining her gods to me."
"Oh good!" the skull sighed, "I thought for a minute she said..."
"I know," I replied as I turned back to the orc. "This is Mobius my companion."
"I am Mogutz leader of this doomed party," the orc replied tentatively returning to the bars.
"I am Gwendolyn rescuer of your doomed party," I began when I suddenly turned towards Mobius.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"Oh yeah. I heard someone walking this way."
"Great!" I cried as I ran down the hall of cells with the skull tucked under my arm. I found a wooden door and quickly picked the lock and secreted myself inside.
It was not too soon; as I heard footsteps enter the room. I peered through the crack I left open in the doorway. I watched a tall-emaciated man walk into the room. His skin was sunken and cadaver gray. I did not have to be a High Elven lore master to know I was looking at a vampire.
"Pardon me," Mobius whispered.
"Shh," I hissed.
"Sorry I was just talking to..."
"If you don't clam up I'll use you as a bowling ball," I whispered harshly.
The vampire addressed the prisoners, "Tomorrow you will be taken into the old city. When the full moon reaches its zenith your blood will be spilled to summon the great lich-mage Zormandus. Then we shall feast upon your life's blood.
"Prepare yourself. You may want to send prayers to your gods."
The vampire then motioned for the servants who were waiting out of my sight to enter the room. They brought in bowls and mugs and dispersed them amongst the prisoners.
After the servants finished their tasks, the vampire ushered his minions out of the dungeon. He turned back towards the prisoners and said, "Enjoy this meal for it shall be your last. The gathering of dark mages, necromancers and the undead has begun."
With that, the vampire left the room. I waited a few minutes before I exited the sanctuary of my closet. I returned to the cell containing Mogutz with Mobius hovering just behind me.
"Looks like you guys stumbled upon something big," I stated.
Mogutz just nodded her head before sniffing at the bowl full of some type of stew.
"Rat stew again," she said.
"There is more here than just merely a conference of every evil baddie," a voice in the cell behind me said.
I walked over and looked at its occupant. He was a High Elf, with the telltale pale skin and the arrogant expression on his face.
"A Wood Elf, eh. Did you get lost?" the elf sneered.
"If I did it is a good thing for you because I'm your only hope of getting out of here," I replied hotly.
"Then we are as good as dead," the High Elf continued.
"Now that is not cricket, old chap," Mobius interrupted. "She's already freed me and she did make her way into this cell."
"Oh, that's rich I'm supposed to take the advice of a symbol off a bottle of poison," the elf shot back.
"Gandelf!!!" Mogutz hollered. "This is not the time for your uppity attitude. If you want we can leave you here."
That seemed to take the wind out Gandelf's sails. He muttered an apology and sat back down on his bunk.
"You mentioned that there is something more going on," I stated.
"Rather!" the elf ejaculated.
"Would you care to share it with us," I prodded. It was obvious Gandelf did not like being in the presence of such common folk as us.
"I am Gandelf. I am an archaeologist, and I have been researching the lost cities of the old elven empire. It was rumored that one of those lost cities lies underneath Imperial City. In fact, we can conclude that it is true. These vampires have excavated it and are now going to use it for their evil purposes.
"The elven ruins that Imperial City is built upon are believed to be Alhassar, the ancient city of lore. When the war between the united elven armies and the combined dwarven clans raged over the millennia, many cities were lost on both sides. So many towns and cities were razed that even we forgot where they were once located. We just had rumors and folktales to recall our ancient glory.
"I may add that if it weren't for the desertion of the lesser elves we very well may have won the war that raged for thousands of years instead of having it end in a stalemate. Even the dwarven High king Efdee Ore was quoted as saying ‘We have nothing to fear but fearless elves.'"
"If I remember right it was the arrogance of the High Elves that forced the Wood Elves to return to the Great Forest, the Dark Elves to their mines, and the Sea Elves to the ocean," I rebutted.
Gandelf just snorted, "In any event, as the two sides retreated to their remaining dwellings the humans over the years built their own cities upon the charred ruins of our old glory. The gods compensated the humans for their short lives by letting them propagate as if they were rabbits.
"So now after all these centuries I believe I have found the lost city of Alhassar only to find that its ancient libraries are about to be used for the dark purpose of opening a gate between our world and that of the Nine Hells."
"But that would utterly destroy our world!" I exclaimed.