Stories - Comic Book Fiction


The Founding

The year was 2138 C.E. and the sun was bombarding the earth with an unusually large amount of cosmic radiation. Furthermore, Gamma Radiation from the nearby Hasenpfeffer Nebula began reaching the Earth. This year also saw Haley's comet returning for its 76th year visit. It was the year that a probe landed upon the surface of this icy comet to study it. Unfortunately when this probe returned to earth, it was lost in the Pacific Ocean. This was the year that the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste facility had a minor problem and irradiated some local wildlife. In addition, many of the existing members of the mutant and super hero population began having children. Yes, 2138 saw a huge increase in the number of super heroes.

It was a major concern among many citizens of the towns and cities of the world. Once there were a couple dozen super heroes helping protect major metropolises. Now, small towns and rural areas may have the protection of a group of extraordinary individuals. There just wasn't enough crime and super villainy to go around. Something had to be done. Thus, the world leaders got together to look for a solution.

After much debate, and objection by a particular super hero, it was decided to convert Ultra-Keen Guy's "Citadel of Reclusiveness" at the South Pole into a city of super heroes, by super heroes, for super heroes. Then they realized that Cleveland had long been abandoned, and decided that would be a much better place. It was decided that the government was going to create a brand new city where superheroes could live in peace and harmony, and that city would be called "Supervania!"

Super Supervania
Where good folks know no pain-ia,
Where justice shall ever reign-ia,
Yes Super Supervania.

A home for the mightiest of the mighty!
A home for the rightiest of the righty!
It would be a home
In which you could call your own!
And evil would be nowhere in sighty!

Super Supervania
Where the rain falls mainly on the plane-ia
It's mostly free of megalomania!
Yes Super Supervania!

Many of the world's super hero and super hero families moved to the city of Supervania. They were hoping for a better life without the scorn and ridicule of the non-cape wearing and unmasked citizenry. However, without the prospect of an occasional super villain uprising, there was not much for these trained crime fighters to do. Thus, it was decided to create a few evil ninja cyborgs to keep the superhero crime fighting skills sharp.

However, because of a computer malfunction and a programming bug, these evil ninja cyborgs would not fight against their superhero foes. These beings created for the sole purpose to oppose the actions of the superhero citizenry of Supervania would not partake in any fiendish endeavor. They instead opened up shops and stores inside the Supervania city limits. They turned away from their former lives of crime and mischief and decided to become lawful business owners.

To counteract the lawfulness of the created evil ninja cyborgs, the world governments began sentencing the worst criminal minds to become evil ninja cyborgs. Thus, the prisons were being emptied and the government was creating more and more evil ninja cyborgs. However, these former criminals still would not rise up against their superhero overlords and would simply opened up more and more businesses.

Further, do to perceived discrimination and unfair competition from the superhero community; the evil ninja cyborgs began to form support groups. At these meetings they would discuss the oppression they felt from the government and the superhero community. Eventually, the businesses of these support groups began to band together to better compete with the superhero businesses. With this new found unity, their businesses began working together and gaining more and more wealth and power.

Under the direction of their Head Ninja L. Edward Roy, an increasing number of small evil ninja cyborg businesses began working together. In direct competition with the superhero community, more and more services would be offered by their evil ninja cyborg counterparts. L. Edward Roy would gather resources and purchase businesses throughout the world. Eventually this loosely knit group of unrelated businesses became a large conglomeration which became America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Incorporated.

After a few years, America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg (AOENC) Inc. became the largest corporation in the world. There was not a business venture around that did not have an evil ninja cyborg competitor. There was AOENC Records Ltd., AOENC Video Productions, AOENC Dry Cleaning Services, and on and on. With each passing year, the government office in charge of evil ninja cyborg creation (OCOENCC) would transform criminals into evil ninja cyborgs. The evil ninja cyborg working population was becoming immense.

Eventually, these evil ninja cyborgs began running most of the shops and stores in Supervania. Once AOENC Inc. ran most of the businesses in Supervania, tensions began to rise between the evil ninja cyborg shop owners and the citizens of Supervania. Furthermore, there weren't enough jobs to employ all of the created evil ninja cyborgs. Some of these unemployed evil ninja cyborgs would enjoy causing trouble for the Supervanian citizenry. This is when the fighting between the two groups began in earnest.

It started with evil ninja cyborg teenagers just looking for some "kicks." The evil ninja cyborg residents of Supervania chalked it up to "kids being kids." However, the superheros of Supervania didn't see it that way.

"These over exuberant youths are harassing the fair citizens of our city," proclaimed the superhero spokesperson, Spokeswoman. "Up with this we shall not put!" she continued.

The tensions between the two groups began to rise. Clashes between the two groups became more common. Suddenly, Supervania became the town that the superheroes and the world government had all hoped.

Super Supervania
Where yarn comes by the skein-ia,
Restaurants have little problems with ptomaine-ia,
Yes Super Supervania.

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The Case of the Bad Traffic Day

Part One

It started off as a normal day for the Mayorman, mayor of Supervania. He arrived at his office early in the morning and was taking on the business of running the city of Supervania. He was doing some work at his desk in the Auditorium of Equitableness when in rushed Anonymous Man. It was obviously important, and Anonymous Man spoke in an urgent tone. "Mr. Mayor, have you been on the streets lately? All traffic in and out of Supervania is at a stand still! Something must be done!"

Mayorman responded, "We are aware of the problem, and we are looking into the solution now. All we can do now is hope that this situation is resolved soon. However, dealing with evil ninja cyborgs can be quite tricky. And we don't want a major disaster on our hands."

"It is the work of the Traffic Jammer isn't it?" asked Anonymous Man

"We believe so," replied Mayorman.

"Flannel Man put him away before, couldn't he do it again?" asked the persistent Anonymous Man.

"We hope so. However, we are having trouble locating him."

Mayorman gazed out the window again. He clearly saw the Flannel Man signal in the sky among the signals in the sky. He indicated it to Anonymous Man. "He hasn't responded to the Flannel signal yet. Until he does, the citizens of Supervania are in for a rough ride."

"Well, I hope he gets here soon," complained Anonymous Man. "I have got lots of work to do."

"We all do," replied the mayor as he showed Anonymous Man out. "We all do."

Anonymous Man left the mayor's office and Mayorman's assistant, The Assistant, entered his office.

"Any word on Flannel Man?" inquired the mayor.

"I am afraid not," replied the mayor's assistant. "However, a package has arrived for him. It appears to be from SANTA."

The Mayor jumped up with alarm. "The Silent Acting Ninja Terrorist Association?" he asked with concern.

"I am afraid so," replied The Assistant.

"This day is getting worse and worse," bemoaned Mayorman. "Well, put the package in Bomb Depot number 3, and let's hope we hear from Flannel Man soon."

The Assistant took the package with great care down to Bomb Depot number 3. The package was placed in a lead lined box on a large pedestal in the middle of the smallish bomb disposal room.

Meanwhile, back at Flannel Manor, Flannel Man was pacing back and forth. Obviously, Flannel Man was anxiously awaiting something. "When in the name of little green apples, is that mail going to get here?" he asked himself.

Suddenly and without warning, there was a knock on the door. Somewhat relieved, Flannel man made his way to his front door. He peaked through the Flannel Peep Hole and asked, "Who is it?"

"It is I, Postman, deliverer of all mail!" replied the man on the other side of the door.

Finally, his letter carrier, Postman, had arrived. "Great, I have been waiting for you," responded Flannel Man as he opened the door.

"Flannel man, what are you doing here?" asked Postman as Flannel Man opened the door. "The Traffic Jammer is on the loose again, and Mayorman has been trying to get a hold of you. Didn't you see the Flannel signal?"

Postman, deliverer of all mail, searched among the many signals in the sky. Eventually, he spotted the Flannel signal and pointed it out to Flannel Man. "I can't go out until I get my package," replied the anxious Flannel Man. "I sure hope you have it."

"Just letters today," replied the letter carrier. "No packages. What is so important?"

"I can't talk about it," Flannel Man Complained. "Thanks for the mail."

"You're welcome," stated Postman, deliverer of all mail. Suddenly, he gave Flannel Man a hug. He could no longer resist. Postman felt better and continued with his letter carrying duties. Flannel man didn't feel any better as he closed the door. With a worried expression on his face, he tossed the mail on his coffee table. He headed for the phone to call the Auditorium of Equitableness.

"Hello," started the distressed superhero. "This is Flannel man, may I speak to Mayorman please."

Mayorman had been pacing in front of his desk. He was eagerly waiting to hear word from Flannel Man. Suddenly, The Assistant rushed into the room. "Flannel man on line 2!!!"

"Thank Goodness!" sighed the mayor. Mayorman walked over to his desk and picked up the pone. "It is about time you checked in Flannel Man! The Traffic Jammer has escaped and is reeking havoc all over town. We need your help in recapturing him."

"Sorry boss, but I can't help," replied Flannel Man. "I won't leave the house until I get the package I am expecting. It was supposed to come today, but it hasn't."

Mayorman sat down dejectedly at his desk, but when Flannel Man mentioned the package he perked up. "A package came here for you today..."

"Send it over, and I will be on the job!" exclaimed Flannel Man.

"We believe it is from SANTA," explained the mayor. "So, couldn't you come here and check it out?"

"No can do boss," responded Flannel Man. "Although, the package I am expecting is from SANTA. I ordered something from their winter catalog. It should be from America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Flannel Incorporated. I won't leave home until I have it."

"We will get it to you as soon as we can. But with traffic the way it is, it may be a while. We will keep you posted," he told Flannel Man. He hung up the phone and then spoke to The Assistant. "We need to get Flannel Man's package to him, before he will take on the Traffic Jammer. Get a team together, and let's get on it. Just another fine day in..."

Super Supervania
It's reachable by seaplane-ia.
Our songs are quite urbane-ia
It's Super Supervania.

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The Case of the Bad Traffic Day

Part Two

Mayorman and his assistant, The Assistant, made their way down to the 6 by 6 foot bomb depot number 3. Mayorman paced back and forth while The Assistant sat down at a table to look at the package. "We need to get this package across town. This looks like a job for..."

"Dirk Justice!!!" exclaimed Dirk Justice as walked into Bomb Depot Number 3. "Can I be of any help here?"

"Just in time Dirk," Mayorman stated. "Traffic is backed up all over town. The whole city is at a stand still. Flannel Man is the only super hero that can put a stop to the Traffic Jammer's evil ways. However, Flannel Man won't leave his house without this package. We need it taken to Flannel Mansion immediately. Can you help us?"

"I wish I could," explained Dirk. "But the Cycle of Justice can't get through this traffic either."

"Drat!" shouted the mayor. "Well then, I guess this looks like a job for..."

"Teleportation Man!!!" exclaimed Teleportation Man as he walked into Bomb Depot Number 3.

"Just in time Teleportation Man," Mayorman stated. "Traffic is backed up all over town. The whole city is at a stand still."

"Flannel Man is the only superhero that can put a stop to the Traffic Jammer's evil ways," added Dirk Justice.

"However, Flannel Man won't leave his house without this package," continued Mayorman while picking up the ordinary package. "We need it taken to Flannel Mansion immediately."

"Can you help us?" they all asked together.

"I will see what I can do," Teleportation Man boldly stated.

Teleportation man placed his hands to his head and closed his eyes. He attempted to mentally transport the package to the Flannel Mansion. "Hold on a second!" exclaimed Teleportation Man coming out of his trance. "It's wrapped in brown paper. That is my only weakness. I cannot teleport anything in brown paper."

"Foiled again!" Mayorman yelled. "These evil ninja cyborgs don't miss a trick! I guess it looks like a job for..."

"The Rubber Band!!!" exclaimed Mr. and Mrs. Rubber and their two kids Renee and Randy as they walked into Bomb Depot Number 3 to join Teleportation Man, Mayorman, Dirk Justice and The Assistant.

"Just in time Rubber Band," Mayorman stated. "Traffic is backed up all over town."

"The whole city is at a stand still," Teleportation Man continued.

"Flannel Man is the only superhero that can put a stop to the Traffic Jammer's evil ways," Dirk justice added.

"However, Flannel Man won't leave his house without this package," Mayorman injected while lifting up the ordinary package wrapped in brown paper.

"We need it taken to Flannel Mansion immediately!" Teleportation Man exclaimed.

"Can you help us?" they all asked.

"Rubber band, to action!!!" the Rubber Family yelled in unison.

As if they had done it repeatedly, Mr. and Mrs. Rubber hug. At the same time, the brother and sister, Randy and Renee, hug. In each embrace, the pair twisted and joined together. As if on cue, the two twisted Rubber family units joined together. Once the family had all joined together, they began to stretch into a very long Rubber family unit. In this configuration, Mr. Rubber picked up the package and carried it away. Much wriggling and stretching went on as they stretched and lengthened. Tighter and tighter their form became. Longer and longer their stretching went. When they were about a block from the Flannel Mansion, they stopped. They brought the package back, and untwisted. Looser and looser their form became. Shorter and shorter their stretching went. At one point, the one stretchy unit broke into two groups. Randy and Renee exited their embrace shortly before Mr. and Mrs. Rubber. As if nothing happened, they became the Rubber family again.

"Sorry Mr. Mayor," Mr. Rubber lamented. "It is just too far for us to reach."

"We did what we could," Mrs. Rubber added. "But it was just too much of a stretch for us."

"Curses foiled again!" shouted the Mayor. "I wonder if anyone here in Bomb Depot Number 3 could put a stop to the Traffic Jammers villainy. We need to find out how Flannel Man did it, and this looks like a job for..."

"The Dugman and his faithful compatriot Hyper Hank!" exclaimed Dugman as he and his trusty sidekick Hyper Hank walked into the Bomb Depot Number 3 joining Teleportation Man, Mayorman, Dirk Justice, the Rubber Band, and The Assistant.

"Dugman, you have knowledge of all things that have happened," started the mayor. "How did Flannel Man capture the Traffic Jammer?"

With his faithful compatriot on his shoulder acting as lookout, Dugman goes into a deep trance. "Flash!" Dugman suddenly exclaimed. "An unidentified evil ninja cyborg has just come into town. With his mystical evil ninja cyborg abilities and an invisible light ray, he stops traffic in all directions. Even low flying superheroes are caught in the worst traffic jam in Supervania since the explosion at the rubber ball factory. Authorities have made a call to all superheroes to stop this fiend. All efforts have been thwarted by the Traffic Jammer's anti-superhero technology.

"Later that day, Flannel Man comes onto the scene. This formerly immovable object now known to authorities as the 'Traffic Jammer' has met with an irresistible force. He feels compelled to give Flannel Man a hug. With the Flannel Man 'Hug of Justice©' fully applied, the Traffic Jammer is captured."

All of the occupants of Bomb Depot Number 3 nod in recognition of the story as Dugman came out of his trance. "Oh yeah," stated Mayorman. "We could never do that. This package must be taken to Flannel Mansion."

While no one was looking, Dirk Justice snuck out of the room between Renee and Randy Rubber. Suddenly, Teleportation Man has an idea. "Maybe the weather will get bad, and the Traffic Jammer will just go home," he said.

"You could be onto something there," exclaimed the mayor. "What is the weather going to be like? Does anybody know?"

"Sorry chief," answered Teleportation man

"No help here," added Dugman as Hyper Hank shook his head no.

"I haven't listened to the radio today," Renee Rubber injected.

"I haven't seen a paper," Randy Rubber stated.

"Uh, I have been so busy," Mr. Rubber started.

"With the traffic and all," Mrs. Rubber finished.

"No sir," added The Assistant not to be left out.

"Well then, it looks like a job for..." declared Mayorman.

"Weatherman?" asked Randy Rubber.

"No! The Environ-Mentalist!" the Environ-Mentalist exclaimed as he entered Bomb Depot Number 3 joining Teleportation Man, Mayorman, the Rubber Band, Dugman, Hyper Hank, and The Assistant.

"Environ-Mentalist, what does the weather look like for the rest of the day?" asked the Mayor.

"Sunny and nice," replied the Environ-Mentalist. "A high in the mid- to upper-seventies. Winds out of the southwest at 5 miles per hour. Tonight turning breezy. Winds picking up to 15 miles per hour, but will remain southwesterly. Tomorrow it will be partly cloudy. A high in the low eighties...

"Thanks Environ-Mantalist," Mayorman interrupts. "That is what we wanted to know.

"What rotten luck to have such beautiful weather," stated The Assistant.

"It sounds like a nice day," started Mr. Rubber.

"To go for a drive," finished Mrs. Rubber.

"Rats!" exclaimed the Rubber children.

"Well, it doesn't look like we can count on bad weather to help us," stated Mayorman. "Anybody have any other ideas?"

"Sorry chief," answers Teleportation man

"No help here," adds Dugman as Hyper Hank shakes his head no.

"I am fresh out of ideas," Renee Rubber injects.

"I've got nothing," Randy Rubber states.

"Uh, if we had more time," Mr. Rubber starts.

"We could probably come up with something," Mrs. Rubber finishes.

"It really isn't my bag," added the Environ-Mentalist.

"No sir," adds The Assistant not to be left out.

As all of the superheroes in Bomb Depot Number 3 tried to come up with something to thwart the evil Traffic Jammers ways, in walked a small unmasked person.

"Can I help?" he asked.

"Just in time Errand boy!" exclaimed the mayor.

"Traffic is backed up all over town," started Dugman.

"The whole city is at a stand still," added Teleportation Man.

"Flannel Man is the only superhero..." began Mr. Rubber.

"That can put a stop to the Traffic Jammer's evil ways," finished Mrs. Rubber.

"However," Randy Rubber interjected.

"Flannel Man won't leave his house," insisted Renee Rubber.

"Without this package," the Environ-Mentalist added while picking up the ordinary looking package wrapped in brown paper.

"We need it taken to Flannel Mansion immediately," said the mayor urgently.

"Can you help us?" they all asked.

"Gladly," Errand boy answered quietly.

Errand boy grabbed the package addressed to Flannel Man and put it in his backpack. With a little wave, he departed Bomb Depot Number 3 leaving all of the superheroes in the small room. Mayorman spoke, "Godspeed Errand boy. Hey, where did Dirk Justice go anyway?"

"He was just here a second ago," answered Teleportation man

"No help here," added Dugman as Hyper Hank shakes his head no.

"Maybe he had an appointment," Renee Rubber injected.

"I haven't seen him," Randy Rubber stated.

"Uh, I have been so busy," Mr. Rubber started.

"With the traffic and all," Mrs. Rubber finished.

"It didn't think it was my turn to watch him," added the Environ-Mentalist.

"I don't know sir," added The Assistant not to be left out.

Errand boy headed out of the Auditorium of Equitableness and located his bike locked up in the bike rack. He dutifully unlocked his bike, and hopped on for his bike ride across town. Errand boy nimbly dodged the traffic that was backed up because of the Traffic Jammer's invisible light ray. He wove in and out and dodged the various superheroes and their vehicles. Finally, he reached Flannel Mansion. He got off his bike, and locked it to a nearby bicycle rack. He ran to Flannel Man's door and knocked. Flannel Man opened the door. "Errand boy! Do you have my package?" he asked.

"Indeed I do," replied the somewhat out of breath Errand boy as he opened his pack and handed Flannel Man his much awaited package.

"At long last," sighed the anxious superhero. "How can I thank you Errand boy?"

Errand boy shrugged and just stood there. Flannel Man thought for a moment, and in a flash, inspiration struck. Flannel Man took out his wallet and gave Errand boy a dollar. Errand boy took the money and put it in his pocket. With a little wave, Errand boy ran to his bike, unlocked it, and rode off.

Flannel Man took his package inside his Flannel Mansion and closed the door behind him. Flannel Man quickly tore off the brown paper packaging. He opened the resulting box to reveal a small flannel suit. Flannel Man jumped behind his antique dressing screen. Soon a tattered and torn flannel suit was flung over the screen. The small flannel suit was different than the one Flannel Man was wearing, but it had obviously been worn on many adventures. Without much fanfare, Flannel Man emerged with Theodore his newly flanneled side kick. Theodore, a flannel clad stuffed bear, was clad in a new flannel suit. The duo were now ready for action.

"To the streets!" Flannel Man exclaimed.

Flannel Man, with Theodore clutched in his hand, raced towards the center of the traffic jam. Various superheroes spotted him and began to cheer him on.

"Go get him Flannel Man!" Anonymous Man shouted.

"Dude! Like end his gnarly bogatosity man!" exclaimed Slangman.

"Great googily moogily" added Idiom Boy.

Flannel Man and Theodore, after much difficulty, reached the center of the traffic jam. The Traffic Jammer felt an unmistakable urge. He felt Flannel Man's presence. He could not resist. He had to give Flannel Man a big hug. In the embrace, traffic was freed. With Flannel Man's 'Hug of Justice©' fully applied, the trio jumped into a waiting police van. The Traffic Jammer was once again brought to justice.

Once the crisis was over and the traffic was once flowing there was relief back at the Auditorium of Equitableness. Mayorman found the opportunity to recline back at his desk. This is how Flannel Man found him after they locked the Traffic Jammer up.

"Thank our lucky stars that is over," declared the mayor.

"Indeed," agreed Flannel Man.

"Once again evil has been put into the unmerciful 'Hug of Justice©'," started Mayorman. "The streets again flow freely with good townsfolk. Once again they have been freed from the unyeilding grip of an evil ninja cyborg. What adventures lie ahead for the good people of...

Super Supervania
Where ankles rarely suffer from a sprain-ia
Where there's no shortage of wolfsbane-ia
It's Super Supervania.

"Gnarly dude!" added Slangman.

The End.

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The Case of the Anniversary Present

Part One

It started off as a normal day for the residence of Supervania. Of course, what was normal for this town would not be normal for most towns. It was going to be a hectic day for the mayor of Supervania. Mayorman would not soon forget this day. At least he hoped he wouldn't forget it because it was his wedding anniversary.

He arrived as usual to the Auditorium of Equitableness. It was early in the morning and he was ready for a normal busy day. His first meeting of the day was with the "League of Yes-Men." Unfortunately, only the Affirminator and the Seal of Approval could make the meeting. "That was hardly a 'League,'" thought the mayor.

"What can I do for the 'League'?" started the Mayor.

"Mayor," the Affirminator began. "You're doing a fabulous job."

"Arh Arh!" added the Seal of Approval.

"The 'League of Yes-Men' considers your leadership impeccable," continued the Affirminator.

"That is very nice of you to say," replied Mayorman. "However, I'm a very busy man. What did you wish to meet about?"

"Arh arh arh," the Seal of Approval began while nudging the Affirminator.

"Yes, I couldn't agree more," included the Affirminator.

"Uh," questioned the mayor. "Are you going to tell me what he said?"

"Yes Mr. Mayor, I certainly would like to," responded the Affirminator. "However, she's a she."

"I beg your pardon," blushed the mayor. "Are you going to tell me what she said?"

"Arh arh arh arh," clapped the seal.

"Of course," started the Affirminator. "However, I don't speak Seal."

"Is there are going to be any point to this meeting?" questioned Mayorman.

"Naturally ... we wouldn't waste your valuable time Mr. Mayor. However, the BootLicker and his toady, 'Toady', were the heroes that wished to bring up the issue. Unfortunately, their car was vandalized this morning, so they had to cancel. We were just here to support them. They are very important heroes. Very much like yourself," the Affirminator went on.

"Arh arh!" added the Seal of Approval.

"Do you have any idea what this issue is regarding?" asked the mayor.

"Of course we do. However, we have been sworn to not discuss it without them."

"Well, I guess this ends this meeting then," finished the mayor.

"Absolutely," the Affirminator said. "It has been an honor and a pleasure coming here and having you meet with us on this important issue."

"Arh arh arh," added the seal.

"Nice seeing you," responded the mayor. "If you would like to reschedule, please see The Assistant. Thanks for coming."

"Yes yes," the Affirminator stated while MayorMan issued them out the door.

The Assistant entered the mayor's office at the Auditorium of Equitableness. "Sir," the mayor's assistant started. "Anonymous Man is here to see you."

"Very Good. Send him in."

"Mr. Mayor," started Anonymous Man. "You have to do something!"

"Yes," replied the mayor. "Yes I do."

"Do you know what I'm talking about?" asked the superhero.

"Naturally," started Mayorman. "Yes I do. Of course I know. Yes ... Well no. I have no idea."

"Some vandal is throwing balloons full of paint on cars all over town," replied Anonymous Man.

"Water balloons?" asked the mayor.

"Not water balloons. Well, water balloons filled with paint. So, they're more like paint balloons," stumbled Anonymous Man.

"Sir," interrupted The Assistant. "We have just got a report that these balloons are hitting cars all over the United States."

"This is obviously the work of some sort Evil Ninja Cyborg," exclaimed the mayor. "But what could it mean? This looks like a job for..."

"The League of Yes-Men!" exclaimed the Affirminator.

"Do you know what is going on?" asked the mayor.

"Yes!" replied the Affirminator. "Of course we know."

"Are you going to tell us?" asked the mayor.

"Certainly, if we could Mr. Mayor," responded the Affirminator. "You know that we would."

"Arh arh arh," added the Seal of Approval.

"I see," replied the mayor skeptically. "Assistant, please show these heroes out!"

"Absolutely," replied The Assistant.

"I would like to say that you are doing a wonderful job as mayor..." started the Affirminator.

The Assistant's eyes turn a brilliant lime green as a roar rings throughout the room. The Seal of Approval and the Affirminator are lifted off the floor of the mayor's office and are whisked out the door by an unseen force. The pair of superheroes travel throughout the Auditorium of Equitableness and are planted softly in front of the building. The Assistant's eyes turn back to their naturally dusky color and a faint smile of satisfaction crosses his lips.

"Anonymous Man," started the mayor as he attempted to get more information. "Is there anything more that you can tell me?"

"Yes," Anonymous Man replied. "Of course, I could. Naturally, I would like to... Sorry, the League of Yes-Men got to me. I don't think there is anything more I can add."

"Thank you for your report Anonymous Man," the mayor said as he moved around his desk to sit down. "If you think of anything or need anything else be sure to let us know."

"Thank you mayor."

"Do I need to show him out too?" asked The Assistant eagerly.

"No need," answered the mayor.

"Oh," The Assistant responded as he sulked back to his desk.

"However," the mayor indicated to The Assistant. "I do need to get something for my wife for our anniversary."

"That is not my job," The Assistant replied curtly.

"My schedule is quite full, and I need to get her something nice," whined the mayor. "This looks like a job for..."

"Sorry," interrupted the mayor's assistant. "There isn't anyone here to see you."

"Rats!" exclaimed the mayor.

"However, your wife is on line 1."

"Thank you!" replied the mayor as he picked up his phone. He pressed the blinking light and began speaking to his wife on the phone. "Hello Dear, did you get your breakfast in bed? I didn't want to wake you, so I left it beside the bed there. Knocked over? I'm sorry; I thought I kept the cat out of the room. The open window? Oh, that explains it. She has always been a smart cat. How's that? Of course, I made the reservation. I made it weeks ago. Our table will be ready at the restaurant at 8PM. I hope I won't be late, but we're a little swamped here already. There is an emergency happening as we speak. I'll try to be on time. I have arranged for the America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Horse and Buggy Service to pick you up and take you to the restaurant. The city can't function without me. Who was that? Flash, your old boyfriend called? What did he want? That was pretty bold. Did you tell him that you're happily married? Of course I'm happy. Why would you ask such a thing? When I married you, I became the luckiest man in Supervania. He is going to give you an anniversary present? Now dear, I'm not going to compete with a Ninja Cyborg. I'll give you your gift at dinner tonight. I'll be on time. I promise. I've got another call waiting dear, so I have to let you go. I love you. Have a good day. Good bye. Assistant!"

"Yes sir?"

"You did reserve our table didn't you?"

"Of course, I made the reservation. I made it weeks ago."

"Good, could you contact AOENC Horse and Buggy Service and send a buggy to my house at 7:30?"

"Yes sir."

"While you're at it, could you pick up something nice for my wife?"

"Sir, I am unaffected by the influence of the League of Yes-Men. Since that is not part of my job, you will have to find someone else."

"All right already! Speaking of the league, did they reschedule?"

"Yes. They'll be here next week. However, I pressed and their issue is that 'League' is such and old fashioned term, and they wish to change their name."

"Ugh! Every year a group of superheroes wishes to change their name! What do they want to change it to 'The Uncanny Yes-Men', 'Instructor Confirmation and his Yes-Men', 'The Ultimate Yes-Men'?"

"I didn't press that far."

"My Ninja Cyborg wife's former boy friend calls to inform her that he's giving her and anniversary present, and I have to deal with superheroes with marketing issues. I guess that is what it's like to be the mayor of..."

Super Supervania
Poems are found by the quatrain-ia
And read without much eyestrain-ia
It's Super Supervania.

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The Case of the Anniversary Present

Part Two

After a morning of signing documents and making calls, the mayor had a late lunch. It was a busy day with plenty of complaints about cars being ruined by some unseen entity. After a relaxing lunch and some more city business the mayor asked his assistant, "Is there any more information about these balloons being dropped on cars?"

"Several of the city's superheroes have claimed that it is the work of an Evil Ninja Cyborg, but no definite word on the perpetrator."

"Have you heard from The Dugman? He'll be able to tell us what has happened."

"No sir. Do you want me to put out the Dugman signal?"

"Yes, you had better."

"I'll get right on it," replied The Assistant as he rushed out of the mayor's office.

The Assistant walked to the superhero signal board and searched through the list of 'D' named superheroes until he found the one marked 'Dugman and his sidekick Hyper Hank'. He pressed the corresponding button. This activated the search light mechanism with the proper overlay indicating the correct signal.

Simultaneously with the spotlight signal being sent, a phone dialed the Dugman's super advanced message receiving device he called a 'pager'. This informed the duo of superheroes that the Mayor wished to see them in his office as soon as possible.

Dugman and his Giant Green Iguana sidekick Hyper Hank were busy trying to clean the 'Barbie Pink' paint off the super advanced transportation device the Dugman called his car when they received the signal, or 'page', from the mayor. They dropped their meager attempts to remove the pink paint and drove to the Auditorium of Equitableness.

When the two superheroes arrived at the mayor's office, he was pacing back and forth in front of his desk concentrating deeply on something. "Mr. Mayor, you wanted to see us?" asked The Dugman.

"Yes yes! Thanks for coming," started the mayor. "You may have noticed that there are balloons filled with pink paint being dropped on cars all over town. Actually, this is happening all over the US. Do you have any idea of who did this?"

"Let me see," replied the Dugman.

Hyper Hank went into lookout mode as the Dugman went to his all seeing trance. The Dugman closed his eyes to concentrate and then suddenly began "Flash! The Mayorman and his Evil Ninja Cyborg wife are celebrating their wedding anniversary. The mayor's rival to the affections of his wife is going to attempt to break up the marriage. He realizes that with the election coming up, that the mayor needs his wife to gain some of the Evil Ninja Cyborg vote. If he can break them up, and get back the love of his life, he can accomplish two things with a single act. Flash, the former boyfriend, put his plan in action by deciding on the perfect gift to give Mrs. Mayor. He decides to give her a ... pink carnation??"

The Dugman slowly came out of his trance as the words fade from his mouth. "Of course!" exclaimed the mayor. "Now I remember! Her former boyfriend is the Evil Pun Master! Assistant, look in the city computer for the Pun Master's nemesis and signal that superhero! Dugman and Hank, you have provided a great service to the city of Supervania. We should have this vandalizing cyborg behind bars soon. Now, if you could do the city another great favor, I am stuck here at the office until this villain is apprehended. As you yourself stated Dugman, it is my anniversary, and I am in need of a present for my wife. Could you pick up something nice as a favor to me?"

Just then, a green streak is seen heading towards the mayor's door as Hyper Hank darts out of the room. "Sorry Mayor, Hank senses danger and we must be off. Happy Anniversary and farewell all!"

"Rats!" exclaimed the mayor as The Dugman rushed after the scurrying lizard.

"Sir," interrupted The Assistant. "Dirk Justice is here to see you."

"Send him in," replied the mayor as he walked around his desk to have a seat.

"Mr. Mayor," started Dirk Justice. "I'm sure you're aware that cars are being turned pink all over town. Luckily, the Cycle of Justice has been unaffected. I just thought I would inform you that I believe it is the work of the Evil Pun Master."

"Thank you Dirk," replied the mayor. "We here at the Auditorium of Equitableness have just concluded the same thing. We are waiting for ..."

"Slang Man and his gnarly homey Idiom Boy," interrupted Slang Man.

"Zounds!" added Idiom Boy.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice Slang Man," the mayor said. "Here is the situation ... umm ... 'Dude'. Your nemesis the Evil Pun Master is on the loose again. We believe he is dropping balloons filled with pink paint all over the US. It is our belief that this ... urr ... 'bidness' is an attempt to influence the next election. We need you to get the ... uh ... 'lowdown' on him and if possible bring him to justice."

"Gadzooks!" exclaimed Idiom Boy.

"A single minizzle before I cop a mope. Dis mooley, the Evil Pun Master, got a rep with some serious street cred. He could be hangin' at his crib and have his glommers do the nasty and he doesn't even bounce the pad. Can you M.O. this action?"

"Well put," replied the mayor. "I got nothing... Anybody have any idea what he just said?"

"My dear departed mother tried to teach me this stuff," replied Dirk Justice.

"They departed for Florida didn't they?" asked the mayor.

"Yes," answered Dirk. "However I couldn't get the hang of it her all-inclusive language conversion."

"Assistant," called the mayor. "Has the Dugman left the building?"

"I'll get him back sir," answered The Assistant as he pushed the Dugman's signal button.

"Is the Dugman a translator?" inquired Dirk Justice.

"I think it is one of Hyper Hanks abilities. He can escape any enclosure and he can understand anything," responded the mayor. "Of course, we need Dugman to tell us what his side kick is saying. While we wait for the Dugman, could one of you run out and get something for my wife for our anniversary?"

"Kerfuffle!" Idiom Boy exclaimed.

"Chill Daddy," added Slang Man. "Ain't no reason to get crunk wit yer ole lady. A gnarled map'll do a kablam on the sitch. A little sweet sauce and some bling-bling and you'd be styling like a Garfunkle."

"Uh, thanks ... 'homey'," replied the mayor. "It looks like a time for ..."

"The Dugman and his trusty companion Hyper Hank!" exclaimed the superhero.

"S'up G?" asked Slang Man.

"Can you dig it?" responded The Dugman.

"It's Dug ... Man," finished Slang Man.

"I was just splainin' to the Mayah and his peeps that they can't give a thumper to the Pun Master without some reasonage."

"Fo Sho!" replied Dugman.

"Okay," interrupted the mayor. "Enough with your ... uh 'rapping', and tell us what he's saying."

"You can't go after the Pun Master without proof that he is the culprit," answered The Dugman.

"Oh!" exclaimed the mayor. "Why didn't he say so in the first place?"

"The man no want no help, he no get no help," mumbled Slang Man.

"Well," continued the mayor. "Dugman, you said yourself that he wanted to give my wife a 'Pink Carnation' for our anniversary."

"I did?" asked Dugman.

"Yes," continued the mayor. "He has masterminded an effort to drop balloons filled with pink paint on the cars of the US. Thus, he would be making the US a 'Pink Car Nation'!"

"The fiend!" exclaimed The Dugman.

"It reminds me of the time he tried to get Hong Kong violinist Sing Yin Huang to marry Tour De France winner Miguel Indurain so she would become Sing Yin Indurain."

"That Monster!" interjected Dugman.

"Zowie!" added Idiom Boy.

"Natch!" agreed Slang Man. "That's all gravy noodles. Are the 5-0 gonna play ball?"

"He asks are the police going to believe you?" translated the Dugman.

"I have my own phone recorded, and his phone call to my wife will be available to the courts," replied the mayor.

"Shazam," started Slang Man. "Sorry I zooted you cats up and down. I'll bag the head banger and pokify him before you can oscillate with your yummy mummy."

"He's sorry for the confusion and he'll have him arrested before your dinner tonight."

"He'd better hurry," replied the mayor. "It is getting late."

"Solid," responded Slang Man as he and Idiom Boy headed for the door. "Dirk made a quick outie."

"Ghostville!" replied Idiom Boy.

"Thanks again for your help Dugman," the mayor said while shaking The Dugman's hand. "You sure helped a great deal with this situation."

"I'm always at your service Mr. Mayor," replied the superhero.

"Oh no!" shouted the mayor. "What time is it?"

"It is 7:15 PM," replied The Assistant.

"That isn't enough time to pick out something nice for my wife!" bemoaned the mayor.

"Sir," interrupted the mayor assistant. "Errand Boy is here to see you."

"He's a little late," cried the mayor.

The young man quietly entered the mayor's office with a bouquet of carnations and ornate wooden box. "Sir," he stated meekly. "The fifth year is the 'Wooden Anniversary'. So, I took the liberty of purchasing this small antique box and this bouquet of your wife's favorite flowers. That'll be $36.47."

"Errand Boy!" exclaimed the mayor. "Here is $50. Keep the change. You once again have saved the city. All is right again here in..."

Super Supervania
Where life is rarely mundane-ia
And anniversaries have plenty of champaign-ia
It's Super Supervania.

"Looking Good!" added Fashionista

The End.

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The Case of the Incredible Sulk

Part One

It started off as a normal day for the employees of the Supervania International Airport. Travelers were coming and going as they would at any normal airport. There was the hustle and bustle of air travelers going through security checkpoints, buying tickets, and claiming luggage.

Paul Pennant was one such traveler. He had come a long way to visit the fair city, but his first impression was not going so well. He had waited at the baggage claim for quite a while before realizing that his luggage was not there.

Paul walked over to the luggage claim office to inquire on his luggage. The clerk asked about his claim check. Sadly, Paul could not locate the check. This was going to be a long day for him.

The clerk adeptly typed some things into the computer. Paul's patience was wearing pretty thin when the clerk said, "Ah -- I think I found your luggage."

"At last," replied Paul with a sigh of relief.

"Well..." stumbled the clerk "you see -- your luggage is in Transylvania."


"It is a common mistake, it happens all the time. Hehe -- Transylvania sort of sounds like Supervania."

"So what am I suppose to do?" asked Paul trying to suppress his anger.

"Well -- we'll get it here as soon as we can."

"What am I suppose to do in the mean time?" asked Paul with a bit more venom in his voice.

"There is no reason to get angry sir..."

"What! Don't tell me what I have reasons for!" shouted Paul as his face started to turn red.

"Please sir -- take a seat and I'll speak to my manager."

"Let me speak to your manager! I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Mr. McGee -- could you come out here please?"

"What seems to be the problem here?" asked the luggage claim manager.

"Apparently, my luggage is on a vacation of its own!" exclaimed Paul as his face was now a deep red.

"Transylvania sir," explained the clerk.

"Step into my office -- er -- Mr. Pennant is it?"

"Yes it is," replied Paul as he stepped around the counter. "What am I supposed to do without luggage?"

"There there Mr. Pennant," the luggage claim manager said soothingly. "Take a seat. My name is McGee, Quincy McGee."

"Charmed I'm sure," replied the still red faced Paul Pennant as he reluctantly sat in Mr. McGee's office chair."

"We're sorry about the luggage mix-up Mr. Pennant," started Mr. McGee. "It has been quite a hectic week for us here, and we'll do all we can to make it right."

"Make it right?" shouted Paul. "Make it right? It is way too late for that? What am I going to do without my things?"

Mr. McGee pulled out a box of clothes. "When you get to the hotel," he replied with a soothing tone. "The concierge there will take care of your personal needs like toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. Everything is going to be all right. If you need some clothes we do have some available here. What's your size?"

Paul's face gradually lost the purple hue and was only red now. "These clothes are a bit tattered and terribly out of fashion. Purple pants?"

"As I stated before, we've had quite a hectic week. We'll make sure the concierge picks up some nice clothes for you as well."

"When will I see my luggage again?" asked Paul through is teeth.

"I cannot answer that question," responded Quincy with a soothing tone. Mr. McGee sat on the corner of his desk and continued. "Transylvania is a long way away. Unfortunately, this type of thing is out of our hands. The originating airline was the one that made the mistake."

"That makes me sad," replied the angry customer sarcastically. "It isn't just clothes and other necessities in my suitcase. I have things that I wanted to have with me on this trip. Things that I need."

"Were really sorry for any trouble this may have caused."

"I bet you are. I'm just another mook who has lost his luggage to you..."

"That's not fair," complained the luggage claim manager. "It's been a rough one for me too... I have a job to do, and this is one of things that I have to do. We're doing our best."

"Mmmm," grumbled Paul.

"We'll do all we can to make your stay an enjoyable one, but my job isn't easy and I have troubles of my own. My loyal companion of 15 years -- do you have any pets?"

"No," replied the still red faced passenger.

"I guess that is a good way to be, because my loyal and faithful friend of those many long years," Mr. McGee stated as tears began forming in his eyes. "Scruffy my dear friend was -- well -- it is too hard to talk about. Let's just say he's gone."

"Mr. McGee," started Paul.

"Yes?" enquired Quincy as he attempted to fight back the tears but was failing.

Paul Pennants red face lost all color and his eyes began to turn a dark, stormy gray. Outside clouds came from nowhere and the once bright sunny day became dark and gloomy. A great feeling of intense sadness filled the air. It was so thick that you could almost feel it with your hands and grab it. It touched everything within several miles of the airport. The sadness grew in each and every person and many began to weep out loud rather than struggle with the darkening feeling.

"That makes me sad, Mr. McGee. You wouldn't like me when I'm sad."

"It's just that I loved that dog," sniffled Mr. McGee. "He was such a good dog I don't know how I'm going to make it without him."

Paul Pennant eyes grew almost black and his entire body just shook with sadness. His face was a gloomy gray color as the tears began to stream down. The western half a Supervania was now covered in a deep dark gloom. An incredible sadness overcame every living creature. Half the city's residents stopped doing anything because of the sadness that each individual felt.

And my wife," continued Quincy McGee still fighting back the tears. "Well -- uh -- she loved that dog more than me, and she began proceedings for divorce today..."

Paul a once largish man began to shrink. Tears were now pouring down his gray face streaming from his black eyes. He hunched down into Mr. McGee's chair and placed his face onto his hands. Some residents of the city sat in the gloom, while others tried to fight it by turning on their lights. They fought against the encroaching darkness. They attempted to play happy songs. A few even grabbed banjos because you cannot sing a sad song on a banjo. They tried to play their happy music for as many people as they could without electric amplification.

With all of this, Quincy McGee continued. "If that wasn't bad enough, you came in here and were totally rude to me and my staff..."

Paul shrank even more as he appeared to become a gray eight year old child. He put himself into the fetal position on the chair as the gloom swirled around the airport.

The Supervanian citizens attempted to stave off the encroaching doom as best they could. However, their fight became all for nothing as a blackout soon hit that half of the city. The America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Gas and Electric Company could not keep up with the demand and the city was enveloped in a deep dark gloom with nothing to fight against it. Yes, it was another day in...

Super Supervania
Where Mr. McGee is a lamebrain-ia
He gave the entire city a migraine-ia
It’s Super Supervania.

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The Case of the Incredible Sulk

Part Two

Mayorman hangs up his phone and sits behind his desk at the Auditorium of Equitableness. He put his head on the palms of his hands and gave out a heavy sigh. Before he sat there long, his assistant, The Assistant, came in to inform him of his next meeting.

"Sir," he mumbles quietly. "Anonymous Man is here to see you."

"Send him in," replied the mayor gathering himself together.

"Mr. Mayor," started Anonymous Man. "You have to do something!"

"Naturally," replied the mayor. "What do I have to do?"

"Uh, I don't know. Something!"

"What's wrong?"

"Haven't you heard? Half the city is plunged in darkness..."

"Oh that. We're on it. Have no fear."

"This whole episode makes me a bit sad."

"Buck up citizen! We'll set it all right. Right now though, I have a meeting so if you excuse me."

"Uh certainly," responded Anonymous Man with a bit of confusion. "I'll be going then?"

"Yes," replied the mayor. "Assistant, send in my next meeting."

"Next -- meeting -- umm -- yes Mr. Mayor," fumbled the Assistant as he attempted to discern the meaning of the mayor's words.

"Is the Dugman not here?" asked Mayorman.

"The Dugman and Hyper Hank aren't here just yet. I'll see what is keeping them."

Anonymous man stood there dumbfounded. He was attempting to figure out what was going on. The mayor had never dismissed him without fully explaining what was happening.

"Am I no longer needed in Supervania," he mumbled to himself.

"Is there anything else?" asked Mayorman.

"I guess not," sobbed Anonymous Man as he turned and sulked out of the room.

After a short wait, The Dugman and his faithful sidekick Hyper Hank entered the room.

"Sorry we're so late chief! Half the city is blacked out and this is starting to cause major problems."

"Thanks for the news flash," the Mayor said sarcastically.

"I guess that is why we're here isn't it?"

"Sorry, the entire city is caught in an incredible sulk. I'm not immune to its effect."

"What can we do?" asked the superhero.

"First, tell me why we're feeling this way?"

"That is easy, Paul Pennant is in town."

"Of course!" sighed the Mayor with relief.

"The airlines lost his luggage, and he is in Quincy McGee's office."

"That darn fibber McGee!" shouted the mayor. "He gave him the dog treatment didn't he?"

"I'm afraid so," replied the Dugman. "He threw in the wife scenario for extra effect."

"Didn't he get the notice about Pennant?"

"I'm sure he did, but he probably forgot or hasn't read it or something..."

"Okay, I'll get the Clown Patrol over there ASAP, but it'll be a while before this effect will lift."

"What about the power outage? The clowns don't work well in the dark."

"Oh yeah, we'll need to get the power back on. Thanks Dugman, you two have been a big help!"

"Glad we could help!" replied the Dugman as he turned with a flourish and left the room.

"Sir," stated the Assistant over the intercom system. "Anonymous Man is still here..."

"Send him in," replied the Mayor with a bit more energy.

"Is it something I said?" asked Anonymous Man.

"Sorry," replied the mayor. "The city is being affected by an incredible sulk, and I also fell under its spell. Is there more you wanted to say?"

"You have to do something," sobbed the superhero.

"Yes, we do. We need to restore power to the city."

"I was going to say that," Anonymous man complained as he was fighting back the tears. "Do you know what is causing the blackout?"

"Paul Pennant is clouding up the city requiring increased energy usage. Further, there is the usual evil ninja cyborg energy draining thing."

"The Energy Drainer?" enquired the superhero with a little more composure.

"Who else?"

"Where is his nemesis?"

"The Energy Conservator? He's in Bermuda recharging his batteries."

"They never miss a trick do they?"

"No they sure don't."

"So what options do we have?" asked Anonymous Man feeling a little bit better.

"Rest assured Anonymous Man, we're working on it."


"Thanks for coming. Assistant?"

"I'm going," Anonymous Man stated hurriedly as he walked quickly out the door. He felt needed again, but he did not want to wear out his welcome.

"You called?" enquired The Assistant.

"It was nothing. Any more appointments?"

"Dirk Justice is here."

"Send him in."

"Greetings Mr. Mayor, I just stopped by to see if I could be of assistance."

"Thanks Dirk, but I don't know if you can...."

"What's the problem?"

"An incredible sulk is covering half the city because of the sadness felt by Paul Pennant. We've got the Clown Patrol going over to cheer him up, but there is the problem with the Energy Drainer... We can't cheer Paul up in the dark, and we cannot ease the power use without cheering him up. We need to stop that evil ninja cyborg the Energy Drainer to ease the power problem. If we could cheer up Paul we wouldn't have the power drain and the Energy Drainer wouldn't be a problem. But we can't do that in the dark..."

We're caught in quite a catch trap. Those ninja cyborgs don't miss a trick!

I'll say! What are we going to do about the Energy Drainer?"

"Let's see, the Energy Conservator is in Bermuda -- well -- have you tried the Clappinator?"

"Do you think he would do it?"

"He is officially retired, but he may help us out."

"Assistant," the mayor said on his intercom. "Get me the Clappinator on the phone," requested the mayor as hope returned to his face.

The Assistant, from his desk, began to look up the contact information for the Clappinator. After typing a few words into his computer, the information appeared on his screen and he dialed the number. "The Clappinator is on line one sir," The Assistant stated over the intercom system.

"Thanks!" responded the mayor as he picked up his phone. "Hello Herbert! How's tricks?"

"The mayor huh? I remember when you were just a punk kid..."

"I learned a lot from you Herb."

"Bah! What do you want?"

"Herb, your city needs you."

"You toss me aside for some Energy Conservator guy, and now you're crawling back huh?"

"We allowed you to pursue other avenues..."

"Punk kid!"

"Herb, let's let bygones be bygones. I -- er -- the citizenry of Supervania need your help. Are you going to help, or do we find someone else?"

"I would love to help," the Clappinator said sarcastically.

"But...?" the mayor urged.

"But, I'm under house arrest."

"House arrest? Under whose authority?"

"The Fashion Police -- naturally."

"What did you do?"

"Some trumped up call. Something about a white belt and white shoes after Labor Day."


"It's them youngsters and their fashion rules. My other suit was at the dry cleaners. I didn't think there would be any problem."

"So, why didn't you show them your autumn and winter superhero suit?"

"I wasn't able to retrieve it. They caught me before I got there."

"Washer Woman and Martinizing Man have free delivery."

"AOENC Dry Cleaning is not too far from here. They are convenient, so I use them."

"Free delivery and pick-up..."

"I don't need some punk kid lecturing me on where to take my laundry."

"America's Original Evil Ninja Cyborg Incorporated Dry Cleaners -- are -- evil ninja cyborgs..."

"What's your point?"

"Nevermind. If we take care of your problem with the Fashion Police, will you help the city?"

"If it isn't too late in the day, I don't stay up late like you young kids!"

"We'll see what we can do to free you up."

"Furthermore, It'll cost you. I'm not made of money you know."

"We're on it."

"Jargon jargon jargon!"

"I'll talk to you later Herb."


The mayor hung up his phone, and put his face on his hands. It was a great strain to fight off the effect Paul Pennant was having over him. He thought to himself that soon the entire city would be engulfed in darkness, but Dirk Justice interrupted his thoughts.

"Sir, will the Clappinator help the city?"

"If we can get his dry cleaning to him..."

"The Sensational Seven are here to see you sir," interupted The Assistant.

"Hey!" exclaimed the mayor as a big grin come to his face. "They might be able to help us out here. Send them in!"

The outer door opened and the room immediately brightened up. The team of these superheroes was enough to drive the darkness away from the mayor's office.

"Come in! Come in!" welcomed the mayor. "What can we do for you?"

"Thir," started the leader of the group. "It ith about our name."

"Your name?"

"We are the Thenthational Theven!"


"You don't underthtand. We are the Thenthational Theven, but you have thomething elthe in your recordth."

"Let me check. No, right here it says Sensational Seven..."

"Thee, that ith not right. We are the Thenthational Theven, not what you jutht thaid."

"You want to be listed as the 'Thenthational Theven' and not the Sensational Seven?"

"That'th right!"

"Easy enough to change..." replied the mayor with a fake smile. "They -- er -- say, while I have you here, you could do the city a great favor."

"Name it thir! We will thertainly help if we can."

"Herb -- The Clappinator, one of Supervania's former superheroes -- now retired -- is needed to help us with an evil ninja cyborg problem we are experiencing."

"The power outage?"

"Yeth -- um -- yes," fumbled the mayor. "However, he is under house arrest by the Fashion Police. Could you go over there and do your thing for him? You know, get him out of trouble with the -- Fashion Police???"

"Abtholutely! We'd adore giving him the treatment!"

"Where did Dirk go?" wondered the mayor to himself. "Thenthational Theven, your help in this matter would help make life a lot better for many of the citizens of...

Super Supervania
Fashion sense we must maintain-ia
Or in darkness we'll remain-ia
It’s Super Supervania.

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The Case of the Incredible Sulk

Part Three

At the superhero assisted living condominiums, Clappinator sat in his bathrobe reading his mail. After finishing his AARP newsletter, he looked up and noticed a rainbow and a flash of sparkles outside his window. He got up to investigate when there was a knock on his door. He tightened his robe around his waist and shuffled over to the door.

"Who is it?" he asked through the door.

"We're here to help!" responded a voice.

"I didn't ask what you wanted," complained the aging superhero. "I asked who you were."

"The mayor thent uth," the voice replied.

"That still doesn't answer my question..."

"How can we make our entrance if he doesn't open the door?" whispered one of the superheroes to the group leader.

"I don't know," the leader responded.

"Tell him we're Avon™" whispered another.

"Avon? I'd rather die."

"Tell him something..."

"Uhhh - Candy-gram," said the leader.

"Candy-gram?" replied the Clappinator. "Well then, come on in!"

The retired superhero swung open his door and the gust from the door slightly separated his robe revealing his ragged boxer shorts. With another rainbow and a flash of sparkles and several squelched sounds of disgust, the Thenthational Theven arrived at the assisted living condo of the Clappinator.

"We are the Thenthational Theven!" started the group's leader after the nausea left. "Time for the Theven Roll Call! On hair..."

"I am The Caped Coiffeur!" shouted the superhero with a flourish from her cape.

"On etiquette..."

"I am Mrs. Manners," stated the superhero politely. "It is nice to meet you."

"On style..."

"I am the Chic Magnet!" declared the superhero.

"On fashion..."

"I'm Fashionista," the superhero proudly declared. "We'll talk about your clothes."

"On design..."

"It is I," began the superhero. "The Fabulous Feng Shui and my trusty sidekick..."

"Slip Cover Girl," finished the sidekick.

"I of course am Thuper Model!" finished the group's leader.

"Where is my candy-gram?" asked the Clappinator.

"Never you mind about that," replied Super Model. "The mayor athked uth to help you out with your trouble. Thenthational Theven -- to work!"

The seven superheroes spread out to begin the grand tasks of fixing up the Clappinator's assisted living condominium. As the group investigated the condo the Clappinator heard many groans of disgust coming from the superheroes. He was still standing at the front door looking for his candy-gram.

After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching for his candy-gram, the Clappinator closed his front door. Super Model approached the bewildered elderly superhero shaking his head.

"We have a lot of work to do," complained the leader of the seven superheroes. "Thith plathe ith a methth. An awful methth."

"Meth?" inquired the Clappinator.

"You know -- thloppy -- old fathioned -- not thylith -- you know -- a methth."

"I got nothing," said the bewildered superhero.

"Don't worry," replied Super Model. "We'll take care of everything."

Super Model led the Clappinator into the living room to where The Fabulous Feng Shui was standing with her hands on her hips and a look of utter disgust on her face.

"Where on Earth did you get this gaudy couch?" she asked.

"It was a gift from former President..."

"Well it has to go," interrupted Feng Shui. "It is blocking the flow of Chi and the color is all wrong for your skin tones."

A flash comes from Slip Color Girls eyes and the couch disappears into a cloud of cinnamon-apple scented potpourri.

"The coffee table too," ordered Feng Shui.

"But that was hand made by..."

"Face it," interrupted Feng Shui again. "It all has to go."

Suddenly, all of the Clappinator's furnishings vanished and the room smelled like Mom's apple pie. The retired superhero lost all ability to speak as all of his treasures vanished. He just stood there with his mouth open.

"Slip Cover Girl," ordered the Fabulous Feng Shui. "To the bedroom!"

In the empty room the Clappinator stood there dumbfounded with his mouth agape. Mrs. Manners entered the room and said, "Standing there with your mouth open is quite rude."

The retired superhero immediately closed his mouth. He tried to respond, but words could not form in his brain. Meanwhile, the paintings from his walls were flying from the places they have hung for several years. They are attracted in a swirl around the Chic Magnet.

"I'm Sorry Mr. Clappinator," the superhero bemoaned. "But, this art has to go. It is so 2238. I mean really!"

"Don't move!" shouted the Caped Coiffeur.

The retired superhero was in too much shock to move. His once full living room was now completely empty. All the mementoes he had obtained throughout the years were now gone.

He felt a tingling in his scalp. It began to bring him out of his shock. However, once he began to move, the tingle turned to a burn. He vaguely remembers someone telling him to not move, but he had no recollection of who or why.

"It is because I haven't told you why," stated the Caped Coiffeur.

"What?" asked the Clappinator to himself.

"I haven't told you why you shouldn't move," replied the hair stylist.

"Are you in my mind?" asked the old superhero.

"If I wasn't you would move your mouth, but I told you to not move."

"That's a good trick," he thought.

"I am a superhero."

"Oh right..."

"That was quite unthinking of you," interrupted Mrs. Manners. "Insulting her in your thoughts like that!"

"You too?" thought the Clappinator.

"We are all superheroes Herbert L. Clappinator. May I call you Herb?"

"Herb? Yes. I'm Herb."

Herb Clappinator's head began to spin again. The tingle and burn was now alternating quite frequently.

Suddenly, it stopped. Herb was stunned by its sudden absence. The Caped Coiffeur produced a mirror and Herb looked at his reflection. After seeing himself, everything went black and he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Excellent!" exclaimed the hair stylist. "He was so happy with his new style that he fainted. Nothing could be more gratifying than that!"

"It lookth fabulouth! Well done Coiffeur!" added Super Model.

The Clappinator was out for quite a long time. He awoke to find himself on three slightly cushioned pink wooden boxes. He looked around and there were several of these modular wooden boxes of various colors scattered around his living room. In the center of this room was a pile of his clothes. Before he could say a word, the clothes were gone. This time the scent was lemon.

The retired superhero looked around his once cluttered comfortable room. It was now sleek and modern. There were padded boxes that could be arranged in any way. His 56 inch plasma TV was gone to be replaced with a 72 inch 3-D hologram projector.

"That's nice," he mumbled to himself.

"I knew you'd like it," replied the Fabulous Feng Shui.

"That's not what I meant, I..."

"Our job is done!" interrupted Feng Shui. "The Fabulous Feng Shui and Slip Cover Girl away!"

"You were very gracious," added Mrs. Manners. "I shall be going as well. Your hair is quite lovely. Have a good day."

"My hair!" Herb recalled.

"You're welcome," replied the Caped Coiffeur as she also left.

"My goodness look at those paintings on my wall," sighed the aged superhero.

"They are great! I agree," responded the Chic Magnet. "You have excellent taste."


"I will take my leave of you."

"Now we are three," stated Super Model. "It ith you -- me..."

"And Fashionista makes three!" chuckled the fashion expert.

"We need to get you out of here and get you thome new clotheth," Super Model stated frankly.

"I'm under houth -- I mean -- house arrest. I cannot leave. I only have the clothes on my back."

"That robe must go!" stated Fashionista firmly. "I will call the fashion police, but first, you must answer your door!"

As she finished her sentence, a knock came to the door. This startled the Clappinator, but he managed to hobble over to answer the door.

"Errand Boy!" exclaimed the retired superhero.

"Hello Mr. Clappinator Sir. I have picked up your dry cleaning for you. That will be $12.34 including tax."

"Here's $12.50," responded the Clappinator.

"Thanks! Nice hair," Errand Boy said as he was trying to stifle his laugh.

"You can keep the change," Herb replied not noticing the chuckle.

Errand Boy took the money from Herb. He stood there blinking for a couple of seconds doing the math in his head but then shrugged his shoulders and left. Before Errand Boy reached his bicycle, Herb had his super suit on. Fashionista was on the phone freeing the Clappinator from his house arrest.

"Energy wasters!" Herb shouted with authority. "You will be clapped off by the mighty Clappinator! To action!"

The Clappinator restored power to Supervania as the evil ninja cyborg Energy Drainer's plans were thwarted. Normalcy was returned to...

Super Supervania
Now freed from the energy drain-ia
Herb will never speak to the mayor again-ia
It’s Super Supervania.

"I'm here to help," added Errand Boy.

The End.

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Just Super - Part 1

By Dwayne MacInnes

Clark sat at his desk at the Daily Planet. He ripped a sheet of paper out of his manual typewriter and placed it on top of a ream of other papers. Clark pushed his black glasses back further onto his nose and leaned back in his leather chair.

"I've finished at last," Clark said as he let out a small whistle.

Clark watched as Jimmy Olson pulled some papers out of a file cabinet and staggered off, dropping a couple of pages as he left the office. "The poor kid must be working himself too hard," Clark thought. "Well, I better get this off to the chief."

Clark made his way through the maze of vacant desks and debris that cluttered the room. With all that had happened over the last few years cleaning the office tended to fall to the wayside. Clark whistled softly as he approached the chief's office. He gently rapped onto the glass door before he entered the room.

Perry White stood with his back toward Clark as the editor looked out the window of his office high up in the Daily Planet building. The glass tinted with dirt and smudges filtered in the bright sunlight. It was the only source of illumination since Metropolis lost all its power. Clark could not help but feel a pang of sadness as he remembered the better times now irretrievably gone.

"Chief, I have finished that project we talked about," Clark said as he cleared his throat.

The chief grunted which Clark took as an acknowledgement.

"I'll leave it here on your desk so you can proof it. As we discussed it covers all that has happened over the last ten years since the plague," Clark finished before exiting the office.

It seemed an eternity now, but there was a time when things were better. Clark would trade anything now to have those days back. Even for the times when Lex Luther held the world for ransom and Clark, as Superman, had to defeat him. Saving the world then was child's play compared to what he had to endure over the last decade.

It all began innocently enough. The Venus probe was returning to Earth with valuable data collected from the distant planet's atmosphere. It was all over the news, the world waited in anticipation for the manmade satellite to make its way back to the ground so that NASA could evaluate the information contained inside. It was the first probe of its kind.

Then without warning, the probe exploded high in the Earth's atmosphere. At first, Clark suspected Lex Luther had something to do with it. The evil genius had probably tried to blackmail the government again, but when they did not give in to his demands, he destroyed the probe. However, as Clark rethought the scenario it did not make sense. If there were a ransom demand, the president would have contacted Superman to protect the probe on its return. Therefore, he dismissed it as an accident without giving it a second thought.

Every reporter scrambled to find the underlying cause of the explosion as the images replayed repeatedly on the television news networks. As usual, Lois was the most forceful, and the chief awarded her the story. Clark would assist her if she needed it and as usual, Lois declared that she would not need any assistance. However, Perry insisted and the two reporters began work with gusto.

Hours of phone calls to every contact Lois and Clark had in the government and scientific community went unanswered. This was not the usual red tape. Lois kept insisting that there was some high-level cover up. This only made Lois that more determined to find out what was happening.

"Are you hungry?" Clark asked rising from his desk.

"No, I'm fine, Clark. Why don't you get some sleep," Lois suggested. "No use both of us being tired in the morning. You can continue if I don't get anywhere tonight."

Clark knew very well, Lois would try everything to break the story while Clark was away so that she could get all the credit. Clark did not mind, but he decided that maybe a visit to the capitol as Superman would loosen some tongues.

"I suppose you are right," Clark replied smiling as he left the room nearly running into Smitty.

"Sorry, Clark I have to get this story to the chief," Smitty exclaimed.

"What's so important?"

"There's been a gruesome murder at Metropolis General Hospital. The victims were devoured by their assailants."

After leaving the office, Clark quickly changed into Superman in the Daily Planet's upper maintenance closet. He had barely flown out the window when his super hearing picked up a familiar signal. Superman sped to the source of the sound. It could only come from one area and that was Gotham City.

Within only a few minutes, Superman had flown from Metropolis to Gotham. He alighted on top a tall gothic building. The pale moon washed the rooftop in its dim blue light. If it were not for his super hearing, Superman would not have noticed Batman move out of the shadows behind him.

"Glad you made it," Batman said in his usual soft gruff voice.

"What is the big news?"

"Robin and I have been responding to some pretty unusual calls."

"Really, how unusual?" Superman's strong voice raised a pitch.

"There has been a rash of murders across the city. We cannot keep up with all the calls." Batman stopped to note the expression on Superman's normally placid face.

"Murders? Nothing new there in the city. Do you think the Joker is involved?"

"Initially yes, except two things. First, the victims are being eaten. All the victims we have come across have been partially consumed by their antagonists." A small smile broke out on Batman's face as Superman opened his mouth in disbelief.

Superman quickly regained his composure, "You mentioned two reasons why it is not the Joker."

"Arkham Sanitarium burned down tonight, there were no survivors. I personally pulled the Joker's body out of the debris along with the Penguin and the Riddler. Clark..." Batman stopped.

Superman paid closer attention. It was indeed serious if Bruce used Superman's alter ego.

"They too were partially consumed."

Superman's mouthed again dropped open in surprise. "Bruce, just before I left one of our reporters brought in a story about a similar incident in Metropolis."

"That's what I thought," Batman replied. "I had just finished talking to Diana before you arrived and a similar outbreak is happening on the west coast. So far, I have been unable to contact any of the others."

"I'm off to Washington to get some answers," Superman said grimly. "They must be covering something up. Lois and I are being stonewalled at the Planet.

"I'll let you know what I find. Be careful, Bruce."

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Just Super - Part 2

By Dwayne MacInnes

Superman anticipated having no problem seeing the president. None had ever denied Superman access to the Oval office on a moments notice. They knew he would never disturb them if it were not something of utmost importance.

However this time as Superman's feet touched down on the front lawn a squad of marines ran up to him. The men were still in their dress uniforms carrying their M-16s at the ready.

"Sorry, Superman, the president is not able to see anyone right now," a sergeant said in a stoic voice.

"This is of extreme importance. I need to see the president now, sergeant. I am sure he will allow me in if you will just ask him."

"I cannot do that, Superman," the sergeant shot back.

For the first time in a long time, Superman felt his frustration level rising as he became embroiled in governmental red tape. Usually, his blue and red suit magically abolished bureaucracy allowing Superman a certain freedom few possessed.

"I'm sorry sergeant; I have no time for pleasantries. I am going to see the president," Superman said as he began to push his way past the marines toward the White House.

"That'll be impossible," the sergeant said barring Superman's way. "The president and all available congressional members have been evacuated from the city to a secure area."

Superman knew exactly where the top government leaders were hiding out. The fact that they were hiding informed him of how serious the problem was. Superman flew toward the large hotel resort in Maryland. Underneath the structure, there was a secret bunker so that the U.S. government could continue to function in the case of a nuclear holocaust.

Superman knew that there was no way he could enter the bunker without seriously damaging it. Even though the thought of the U.S. government exiling itself and leaving the rest of the country and possibly the world to fend for itself revolted him, Superman could not bring himself to cross the line to break into it. However, he knew a "red-phone" had direct access to the bunker inside the hotel.

Superman marched into the hotel. The hotel manager approached Superman with two bellhops following closely behind. Superman smiled. The secret service members were playing their roles well.

"Can I help you, sir?" the manager offered.

"Yes, you can. I need to speak to the president," Superman replied.

"I'm sorry, he is not here. Have you tried the White House?" the manager said in a flat voice.

"Look, I am not here to play games," Superman's voice began to rise. "I can see the congress and the presidential staff including the president himself below us. Maybe you forgot about my x-ray vision. So please point me to the red phone now or I'll simply break in."

The secret service man/hotel manager cleared his throat, "I'm sorry sir. I did not realize you just wanted to use the phone. Just this way."

The manager ushered Superman to an inconspicuous black phone that sat behind the desk. Superman picked up the receiver and heard a buzz on the other end. "Hello," the familiar voice of the president finally answered.

"Mr. President, this is Superman. What is going on?" the man of steel asked.

There was a long pause before the president began to speak. "Superman, we have a crisis of global proportions. It appears that the Venus probe was carrying a deadly virus. We found out about it too late. That prevented us from destroying the probe before it entered the atmosphere. The resulting radiation and virus have been bringing the recently deceased back too life.

We have our all our top scientist working on a cure. Until then, we have to protect the integrity of this country's leadership. The rest of the world is taking similar actions."

"Mr. President, it is not for me to dictate policy, but you need to mobilize FEMA, the military, and all emergency services if you want to protect the American people."

"We thought maybe this could be handled quietly," president said demurely. "We don't want to create a panic that could result in riots."

"Sir, the situation is worse than you may realize. You have to act now before it is too late," Superman nearly yelled into the receiver.

"You are right, Superman. I'll get on the mobilization right away. Do you think you can rally the rest of the Supers to contain this?"

"I'll do my best Mr. President."

Superman passed the information onto Batman. Batman then passed the news onto the rest of the world's superheroes. Even with the help of the military, the superheroes had a hard time containing the spread of the plague. No one appeared immune to the plague, even those born on other planets bitten turned into the undead. The first few days it appeared all would be lost until Superman received a strange request.

An ultra-high frequency whined into Superman's ear as he was rounding up the undead. Fortunately, his dense skin protected him from bites and scratches the diseased undead could inflict on others. These were always fatal to others which resulted in the now newly deceased in becoming zombies as the public at large called them.

"Superman, you are the only being with less than four legs who can hear this," a familiar voice stated. "We are faced with a grave crisis indeed and it affects us all. Therefore, I propose that we join forces. Until the situation reverses, my cohorts and I agree to help you fight the undead menace facing us all. If you find this proposition agreeable meet with me alone at the Metropolis Public Transportation office tonight at midnight."

Superman noted that this gave him only four hours to meet with the other superheroes and give them Lex Luthor's message. They only had a few hours in which to decide whether these villains could be trusted to help them. If the Supers believed they could not trust the villains, would the Supers be able to fight the hordes of zombies and combat whatever the villains could be planning?

Those valuable four hours that could be used combating the growing army of undead was instead used in heated debate on whether Lex Luthor's offer was genuine or not. Finally, Bruce broke the stalemate by pointing out that the disease did not discriminate between good or evil. It affected all of them. Finally, he pointed out that even their numbers were shrinking and any help at this state could turn the tide in their favor.

Finally, the Supers decided that Superman would meet with Lex Luthor at the Metropolis Public Transportation office at midnight. Superman scanned the area before he landed for any hidden threats. He paid particular attention to anything that was lead lined that could be concealing kryptonite. Superman finally landed after he felt reasonably sure that the area was secure.

Lex watched as Superman landed a few feet from his position. "I'm glad you could make it Superman."

Superman pushed down the desire to punch the smirk off Lex's baldhead. The strain of constant combat was taking its toll. "Look here, Luthor, I am not here for idle chatter. I have a lot of work to do."

"Very well, let's get down to brass tacks. I know we haven't been very trust worthy in the past. But, we really need to work together in order to resolve this thing. I know you do-gooders have been losing some numbers in fighting the menace, as have we. Therefore, we need to coordinate and work together or we will all lose."

Superman hated the reminder of the loss of some of his close friends in the superheroes business. The Flash and Hawkman were lost that day. Fortunately, the dead did not retain their powers after dying. The Supers learned that when the Green Lantern fell in the early stages of the fight. Superman personally eradicated the undead Supers.

"Luthor, my fellow ‘do-gooders' as you call us, reluctantly agree to your terms. We need any and all help," Superman conceded.

"Very well, we are at your disposal. However, do not think that once things get back to normal we will be buddy-buddy," Lex replied the smirk returning to his face.

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Just Super - Part 3

By Dwayne MacInnes

Even with the help of the super villains, the fight against the undead army was a tough one. More Supers and more villains fell, as did an untold number of soldiers and civilians. After months of steady combat, finally the living gained the upper hand. The combined forces of the superheroes and villains were able to barricade the area from Metropolis to Gotham to Washington, D.C. and much of the Northeastern seaboard from the outside threat of the undead.

The Gotham Nuclear Power Plant ensured that the barricaded "safe-zone" had power. The combined team of Supers and villains began the task of transporting the few remnants of living to the safe-zone. Superman found himself working around the clock, only he among all the Supers could work nonstop for days on end.

However, the mental strain began to show in many of the survivors. Denying access to the safety-zone to any wounded and ill weighed particularly heavy upon Superman's mind. The Man of Steel became more and more morose. Not even Batman could elicit more than a few words from Superman's mouth.

It fell upon Wonder Woman to set the surviving humans inside the safe-zone on the task of restarting civilization. She motivated the survivors to begin the tasks of planting fields, fixing and maintaining utilities, emergency services, and law enforcement. Slowly morale began to increase as more and more survivors trickled in and less undead were roaming the continent.

Bruce Wayne worked side by side with Lex Luthor to find a cure or an immunization for the plague. Many theories were put forth and all failed. So far, the spread of the disease appeared checked. An occasional outbreak would happen, but the new emergency response teams were quick in putting it down.

Finally, after over a year of constant combat the combined forces virtually eradicated the undead menace from North America. There were only fifty million living humans, four superheroes; Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman and Robin, and three villains; Lex Luthor, Metallo, and Solomon Grundy.

Superman began to take a long deserve rest. He had not been to see Lois Lane in months. As far as she knew Clark Kent had disappeared, and she presumed him dead. Therefore, it was with much surprise to the staff of the Daily Planet when Clark suddenly returned to work.

"Great Caesar's Ghost!" Jimmy Olson exclaimed when he saw Clark enter into the main office. Everyone in the room suddenly turned to see the return of a man they all assumed was dead.

Lois ran up to Clark, "My God, Clark! I thought you were dead...or, well you know."

For the first time in a year Clark Kent smiled. Seeing his old friends alive and well greatly warmed his heart. His love for Lois had only increased during his absence. It also appeared that Lois's affection for Kent had also warmed. He grabbed Lois into an embrace and shook hands with Daily Planet staff. Whenever they asked what happened to him he would say that he was helping with the cleansing of the safe-zone.

"Lois, I need to talk to you tonight," Clark whispered.

"Sure Clark, you can drop by my place after work," Lois replied.

* * * * *

Clark was genuinely nervous when he knocked on the door to Lois's apartment. It reminded him of better days. The mental stress of the past grueling months was starting to wash away. Lois opened the door happy to see the geeky looking reporter wearing his usual dress suit and hat in hand.

"Come in Clark. I'd like to get an exclusive of your exploits," Lois said as she ushered Clark into the room.

Clark sat down on the couch Lois offered him. "Sure Lois, but first I need to let you know something."

Clark noticed the look upon Lois's face. It was one of fear and puzzlement. "Clark, I know what you want to say, but..."

"Wait, hear me out first please and then you can say what you will."

Lois sat in a chair across from Clark. She forced a smile as she prepared to listen to Clark.

"I've done a lot of soul searching over the last year. I have been through a lot. Many things I saw and endured still haunt my dreams. Sometimes I even believe I can hear the dead talking to me. Therefore, I feel that I should let you know some things about me.

"First, I am madly in love with you," Clark blurted out, his heart racing in anticipation to Lois's answer.

"That's...uh, nice Clark. But..."

Clark held up his hand to stall her, "Secondly, I believe you should know my secret." Clark removed his glasses and deepened his voice.

"I am Superman."

Lois let out a shocked squeak. She realized that deep in her heart she knew it all the time. The glasses and slouched posture really was a poor disguise.

"Having said that," Clark/Superman continued, "I want you to be my wife."

Lois laughed and launched herself into Clark's arms, "Of course, I accept."

* * * * *

Clark was returning to his apartment after breaking his news to Lois. He felt better than he had in eons. Finally, he was going to join his life with his true love. Maybe in this safe-zone, humankind could flourish again.

As Clark climbed the steps up to his apartment, the familiar signal, of Batman contacting him, reached his ears. A quick change and flight brought Superman to the rooftop to face Batman.

"Clark, good to see you looking so good," Bruce began.

"I'm going to get married next week, and I actually needed to see you to be my best man," Clark laughed.

"I'd be honored. I wish I had good news to give you," Bruce's somber tone alarmed Superman.

"OK, what is it now."

"First, Lex and I have determined that you can't spread the disease because we all carry it."

"How's that?" Superman queried.

"I mean that we are all infected. So, when we die we will turn into one those ghouls. I'm sure that even goes for you. Clark, we need to warn other species to stay away from this planet."

"Damn," Superman cursed under his breath. He sighed deeply, "I can alter some of the surrounding satellites as a warning beacon."

"That is good; however, I have more bad news. The president has not been heard from in days."

Superman's expression belied his sudden concern. Without another word, Superman sped off toward the Maryland hotel. Superman did not even land as his x-ray vision confirmed his fears. The entire exiled government of the United States of America was now a bunch of roaming zombies stuck deep in an underground bunker.

The heavy burden of depression resumed its place on Superman's shoulders. In just a matter of one hour, Superman had descended from the heights of happiness to the depths of darkest despair.

Superman shook his head. There was no way they could change the past. Therefore, he had to focus on the future. His first order of business was to prepare the satellites orbiting the doomed planet.

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Just Super - Part 4

By Dwayne MacInnes

Preparing the satellites took little time. Soon several different satellites were broadcasting interstellar warnings in all know languages. The messages stated for all to stay away from the Earth at the risk of spreading the plague to other worlds.

Superman's return to Earth brought the news that Luthor and his cohorts had seized the Gotham reactors, and they were holding them ransom. If the safe-zone acknowledged them as the new rulers, power would return to all.

Superman touched down outside the nuclear power plant to land next to Batman and Robin. "Where's Diana?" Superman asked.

"Before Luthor took over the reactor, Wonder Woman needed to see if Paradise Island survived the plague. You know she hasn't been home since before the plague."

"Should I just fly in and finish them off before they damage the reactors?"

"Superman wait," Robin grabbed the Man of Steel's arm.

"They have Lois," Batman said flatly. "Robin and I may be able to sneak in..."

However, before the Caped Crusader could finish, Superman had already flown through the steel door barring the entrance to the power plant's interior. The thunderous clap of the steel door busting off its hinges reverberated throughout the power plant.

As Superman entered the power plant's operation room, he saw Luthor and Solomon Grundy holding some kryptonite.

"How predictable," Luthor laughed. "I knew you'd charge in without care."

Waves of weakness washed over Superman's body as the radiation from the glowing green kryptonite reached him. The Man of Steel dropped to his knees; he no longer even had the strength to carry his own weight.

"Solomon Grundy found pretty rock," Solomon Grundy said in his Cajun accent. Grundy was a different sort of zombie from his undead cousins. He could more or less think, react quickly, and move about freely. However, rigor mortis, slow decay and virtually no mental faculties restricted the plague zombies. Nevertheless, many of the undead mimicked duties they did in life, such as trying to drive a car without knowing how to start it.

"Before you die Superman, I want you to notice that Metallo -- even now -- is holding your girlfriend over a catwalk. If you somehow overpower us, you could never reach Lois in time," Luthor laughed again.

Superman looked over Luthor's shoulder to see that Metallo did indeed hold Lois Lane off the edge of the catwalk. It was obvious that he was to die or Lois would die.

Superman lowered his head onto his chest as his strength continued to wane. He gave one last glance up at the laughing Luthor. That was when he noticed the movement behind Metallo.

Suddenly, an object whistled past Superman's head and a batarang embedded itself into Luthor's hand. Lex dropped the kryptonite as he screamed in pain. Before Solomon Grundy could react, Batman burst into the room and slammed his shoulder into Grundy's chest momentarily stunning him. Without slowing down, Batman grabbed the kryptonite and flung it out the window and down the deep cavernous opening the led to the reactors.

Before Metallo could drop Lois, Robin had already flung a rope around her with his batarang. A quick blast in Metallo's face with a gooey compound from his utility belt blinded the cyborg.

Lois hung suspended over the catwalk as the Boy Wonder and Metallo danced around each other. Both swinging at each other, Robin was at a great disadvantage for the robot's steel fists would instantly crush him if any of Metallo's blows landed.

Superman's strength quickly returned and he launched himself into an attack on Metallo. He had to save Robin and Lois before the steel monster killed either or both of them. The Man of Steel flew out the window past the Caped Crusader fighting both Lex Luthor and Solomon Grundy.

Metallo finally grabbed a hold of Robin. He was in mid throw when Superman grabbed his arm. Metallo dropped Robin unceremoniously onto the mezzanine catwalk stunning him. Metallo turned onto Superman both locking each other in a death grip.

Batman continued his attack onto Solomon Grundy. The hulking man was the greatest threat and Batman had to neutralize him quickly. Lex Luthor pulled out a small canister that he sprayed into Batman's face.

The Cape Crusader felled to the ground coughing. Grundy and Luthor quickly left the control room and ran out onto the catwalk. Superman and Metallo were slamming each other into the wall. Huge chunks of concrete showered the room.

Luthor tripped over the cord suspending Lois. He gave an evil smile and produced a knife. He motioned for Grundy to reel in Lois. In a matter of seconds, Luthor held Lois in his arms with a knife to her throat.

"Superman!" Luthor yelled.

Everyone stopped and looked toward Luthor and his hostage. Metallo and Superman released each other. Robin started to rub his head and Batman's cough still echoed from the control room.

"I see once again the advantage is mine," Luthor laughed. "Metallo, finish him off."

The steel grin on Metallo's face opened into an electronic laugh. "Gladly, Luthor."

Superman felt Metallo's metal hands dig deeper into his throat. Superman knew he could not react fast enough to stop Luthor from slitting her throat. Grundy was now trussing up Robin.

"Oh, the hell with it," laughed Luthor as he began to slice Lois's throat. However, before he could begin the cut a black gloved arm reached out from behind him grabbing his arm. Luthor felt pain shoot through his wrist and he released the knife. In a last desperate attempt, he shoved Lois towards the railing of the catwalk.

Lois bounced off the railing and fell onto the catwalk driving the knife into her stomach. Superman watched in horror as Lois pulled her hand away from her belly to see blood flowing from her wound.

A red cloud filled Superman's vision and a manic scream escaped from his lips. In a mad rage, Superman grabbed Metallo's arms and he twisted them off the robotic giant. Before Metallo could register the loss of his appendages, Superman grabbed Metallo's head and he squeezed with all his might. The steel cranium exploded.

Robin quickly took advantage of Grundy's short lapse of attention and kicked him away. Before Grundy could swing around on the Boy Wonder, Robin had already launched into the air aiming a kick towards Grundy's skull. The vegetation-covered zombie grabbed the Boy Wonder out of mid air and slammed him into the concrete wall. The snapping of bones shot through the air.

Batman grappled with Luthor. The Caped Crusader kept one eye on Superman and Robin's conflict as he tried to subdue Lex. It was out of the corner of his eye that he saw Robin, his ward flung against he wall and slide off with a sickening crunch to the ground.

Unconsciously, Batman tossed Luthor over his shoulder and accidentally tossed the bald man over the catwalk and into the reactors below. Luthor screamed until his body landed with a broken thud onto the concrete below. Before Batman could reach Solomon Grundy, Superman flashed over to the last villain. Before Grundy could react, Superman had his head between his hands. With a sickening crack and a shower of splintered wood Superman twisted Grundy's head off and tossed it over the catwalk to join Luthor's broken body below.

Superman lowered himself down to Lois's unconscious body. He held his hand over the wound of Lois's stomach to staunch to flow of blood.

Batman held the Boy Wonder in his arms, tears streaming down his mask.

"Clark, we have to get them to the Bat Cave immediately if we hope to save them," Batman choked.

Superman silently picked Lois's body into one arm and lifted Batman into the other. In no time, the superheroes were back at the Bat Cave. Batman worked feverishly to tend to Lois and Robin's wounds. Superman paced back and forth in the mansion above.

It was hours later when Bruce entered into the darkened library. There still was not any power.

"Clark, I don't think there is anything I do for either one of them," Bruce broke the silence.

"Bruce, you have to!" Superman cried.

"Even I can't bring the dead back to life. For now they are both conscious and Lois has asked to see you."

Superman lost no time in rushing down to the Bat Cave. He was at Lois's side. Lois turned her head towards Superman and a smile broke across her face.

"Clark, Batman...Bruce, Bruce Wayne," Lois said still trying to grasp Batman's alter ego was the famous millionaire playboy.

"Shhh...don't talk. Rest, you need to rest," Superman said soothingly.

"Clark, I'm going to die. But, before I die, I want to marry you. Please hurry and grab a priest," Lois pleaded.

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Just Super - The End

By Dwayne MacInnes

Within an hour, a priest entered the Bat Cave with Superman, and a wedding ceremony took place. Robin moaned in agony with Batman keeping vigil at his side. The priest married Clark and Lois, and then he presided over the last rites of Robin.

"Clark, thank you," Lois whispered before she expired.

The priest then performed the last rites for Lois. Superman and Batman escorted the priest out of the mansion. As the holy man left, Batman put a hand on Superman's shoulder.

"Clark, we fought till the end. I'm going to give those two a proper funeral. This mansion shall be their pyre. We have to do it before they reawaken as the undead."

Superman nodded his head in silence.

The huge fire licked the sky as Wayne Manor burned furiously. The two superheroes watched the inferno consume the mansion.

"Clark, this world has no room for us anymore. I nearly lost it when Alfred succumbed to the plague in the early days. Did you know I saw Salina Kyle devouring commissioner Gordon? I even saw Batgirl fall to a horde of undead. I have to leave the safe-zone. Maybe I'll head west, roam the land. You can join me if you wish."

Superman just shook his head. "I have to stay. You think Diana will return?"

"Maybe, if Paradise Island is safe. But, I have a feeling that even it was hit by the plague. You know we are probably the last living humans -- well you know what I mean... The last humans are those of us in the safe-zone."

Superman just nodded his head.

Sometime during the long night, Batman slipped away. Superman did not notice that he had left. The Man of Steel just continued to watch the flames.

In the morning as the collapsed mansion continued to smolder Superman walked through the ruins. Superman walked unconsciously and found himself at the Bat Cave's secret entrance. The one used by the Batmobile.

The Man of Steel was making his way back up the hillside when a noise reached his ears. It was the sound of someone rustling in the undergrowth.

Superman spun around to see Lois shambling out from the cave's entrance.

"Lois!" Superman yelled. "You survived after all."

Superman pulled the undead Lois into his arms. As he hugged her close, she tried to bite the Man of Steel's neck. Superman took this for a kiss and began to kiss his wife.

* * * * *

Clark was preparing to return home when he watched Lois stagger into the Daily Planet's office. Her skin was mottled and rotted. Her teeth showed through where her left cheek used to be.

"Hi, honey. Glad to see you made here," Clark said. "I'm just going to say goodnight to Perry."

Clark Kent rapped again on the glass door and entered the Chief's office. Perry White was still looking out the dirty window.

"Hey chief, Lois is here we're going to knock off for the night," Clark looked down upon the loose sheaves of paper on the desk he placed there early that day. "I see you've read my report. I hope you liked it."

Clark turned and left. As the door closed behind him, the blank pages of white paper fluttered off the table and scattered upon the floor. Perry White continued to look down upon Metropolis as the sun was setting. The zombie chief let out a grunt as he vacantly stared down upon the undead citizens of the safe-zone shambling about in the twilight.

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The Case of Errand Boy

Part One

By Douglas E Gogerty

There were not many requirements for living in Supervania. However, the big rule was that you had to have some super power. It did not matter how trivial it was. Just about any extraordinary talent or ability would count; as long as it was fairly unique.

The world government would not allow anyone to move to Supervania without some sort of demonstrated special ability like being nigh invulnerable. The exception to this rule was children of residents. It was assumed that children of superheroes would also be superheroes. Thus, they did not have to demonstrate an ability to the governmental Department of Education and Transcendent Health Panel.

Those non-evil ninja cyborgs that wished to move to Supervania had to appear in front of the "DEATH" panel and demonstrate their ability. Children born in Supervania had to appear in front of local board. Rarely did they have to actually demonstrate a super ability, but it was assumed that if they wanted to stay in town that they had an ability.

However, when Kirk and Dixie Justice had their child, who they named Dirk, it turned out he was not born with any superpowers. This was not unusual as many children did not develop their super abilities until they reached puberty. Nonetheless, Dirk never developed any superpower. He was an average citizen in many ways. He may have stood out if he did not go to Supervania Central High school.

However, Dirk did not want to move away from Supervania. He had no super power, but his mother and father were prominent people in town. He wanted to stay close to them. Fortunately, the person responsible for enforcing the laws, and in particular this very law, was the Chief of Police. Since Kirk Justice was not going to enforce this rule on his own son, he left the decision up to the courts.

However, the individual responsible for making this ruling in the court was the cities Attorney General. Since this was Dixie Justice, she would not exile her own son. Hence, the only person in Supervania without any type of mutation or special ability was Dirk Justice.

To disguise his lack of any extraordinary abilities, the Justice family spared no expense on obtaining gadgetry to make Dirk appear as if he belonged in Supervania. Thus, Dirk was forced to use machines and technology to fight crimes in the city.

With Dirk moving out of his parent's home and setting out on his own, he obtained a costume emblazoned with the family colors of red, white, and blue. He wore a mask like everyone else. He drove around on his Cycle of Justice and pretended to be like everyone else. Yet, he knew that it was not true.

Then one fateful day it happened. He did the one thing that many superheroes do not even think of doing. He now knew his role in the city. He now knew that he belonged in ...

Super Supervania
Where super powers are nothing to feign-ia
Where secrets are hard to maintain-ia
It's Super Supervania!

It started off as a normal day for the Supervania Regional String and Twine Consortium. They were busy filling out orders for the area's wrapping needs. They had gone 127 days without an incident. Then suddenly everything went pear-shaped as they say across the pond.

All of the day's production spewed out into one large ball. It was larger than the largest ball of twine in Minnesota. It broke loose and rolled down the hill towards Supervania's town square where there the Brownie and Cookie Convention was taking place -- BaCCon.

Meanwhile across town at the city's Auditorium of Equitableness, Anonymous Man was in the Mayor's office.

"Mr. Mayor," started Anonymous Man. "You have to do something!"

"That is certainly true," replied the mayor. "Thank you for bringing that to my attention."

"Mr. Mayor," sighed Anonymous Man. "A large ball of string and twine -- larger than the largest ball of twin in Minnesota -- is rolling towards BaCCon."

"We have the String Theorist on the job. The problem should be resolved soon."

"What about those attending the convention?"

"Haven't they been evacuated?"

"No sir, so if the String Theorist does not get there in time..."

"With these circumstances, this can only mean it is some type of diversion..."

"You mean?"

"Yes! It must be the work of the Feline Femme Fatale!"

"We need to get the Crusading Canine to take care of her."

"He is -- unavailable."


"Yes -- he is out -- er -- chasing tail."

"At a time like this?"

"You know how he is."

"I guess I do."

"It will take time to contact him and get him to take care of that feline fiend, but first we need to get those innocent people away from the convention center. After that we can discover the true nature of that woman's plan."

"If there were just a way to distract that evil ninja cyborg, and lure the citizens away from the center at the same time."

"We will get on that Anonymous Man," Mayorman said rising from his desk. "Thank you for coming."

The mayor shook Anonymous Man's hand and called for his assistant to enter his office. With a stack of paper, The Assistant entered the mayor's office. He put the stack on Mayorman's desk.

"There is trouble," The Assistant began.

"Big trouble! We need to evacuate the convention center without causing a panic. We also need to distract the Feline Femme Fatale from her felonious f-f-f-plans."

"Is the Crusading Canine chasing tail?"


"It figures."

"Contact Kirk Justice and have him be on the lookout for any strange occurrences. Get the Society with Tremendous Red and Yellow Socks on the phone."

"Do you think the Crusading Canine is hanging out with STRAYS?"

"He might be. It is worth a shot. Get some superheroes up here. Perhaps we can brainstorm an idea."

"Yes sir," replied The Assistant.

The mayor's assistant made the required calls. The chief of police, Kirk Justice, was on the lookout for some unusual evil ninja cyborg activity. Several superheroes attending BaCCon were notified, and they quietly began evacuating the convention center as quickly and quietly as they could. Dirk Justice was one of the first people to arrive at the mayor's office. The two of them began to think about a way out of their predicament in...

Super Supervania
Where they needed a storm of the brain-ia
Or a mess of string they'd have to explain-ia
It's Super Supervania.

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The Case of Errand Boy

Part Two

By Douglas E Gogerty

The Feline Femme Fatale had batted a large ball of twine toward the convention center where the Brownie and Cookie Convention (BaCCon) was being held. The String Theorist was on the job of managing the ball, but as a precaution the mayor wanted to evacuate the center. However, he did not want to cause a panic. Nobody wants to see panicked superheroes.

Further, the superheroes aware of the situation believed this event was just a diversion from the felonious feline's actual scheme. To complicate matters further, her superhero nemesis had not responded to any signals. Thus, The Assistant called upon all available superheroes for a brainstorming session in the mayor's office. A solution to this problem had to be found.

Dirk Justice was the first to arrive.

"Thank goodness you have come Dirk!" exclaimed the mayor. "Trouble is on the move and her name is the Feline Femme Fatale."

"Is the Canine Crusader barking up the wrong tree again?"

"Yes, we should keep him on a shorter leash."

"Let me see if I have a grasp on the situation -- we are looking for something that will attract both the evil ninja cyborg in question and the BaCCon attendees?"

"I think that would be an ideal solution. What could it be?"

"What about m..."

"The Mysterious Mouse Man is ready for action," interrupted an entering superhero. "I'll just sit in the corner until I'm needed."

"As I was saying, something both have in common is a taste for..."

"The Faculty have arrived," interrupted an entering league of superheroes. "Roll call -- Doctor Doright?"

"Here!" chimed in Dr. Doright.

"Professor Peaceful?"

"Here!" called Professor Peaceful.

"Scientific Sidney and faithful sidekick Labbie the Lab."

"Present!" replied Scientific Sid.

"Woof!" barked Labbie the Labrador retriever.

"And I am the Dr. Dean the Dean of Decision-Making! The Faculty are all present and accounted for. We heard there was a brainstorming session!"

"Indeed," replied the mayor. "Can you help?"

"Well I don't know..." replied the Dean of Decision-Making.

"We need something that both the evil Feline Femme Fatale and a group of brownie and cookie eaters would have in common."

"Like I was saying..." began Dirk.

"Faculty -- to action!" called Dr. Dean.

Clouds began forming in the mayor's office as the superhero league began their chant. A wind came from nowhere and began blowing in the confined space. The strong gust picked up a stack of papers on the mayor's desk and scattered them every which way. A flash of lightning struck Mayorman's desk lamp and the room shook with thunder.

"Hold on!" shouted the mayor as the cloud began to look like a human brain. "That is not what I had in mind!"

"What?" asked Dr. Dean as the Mysterious Mouse Man shrank smaller in the corner.

"We need ideas," replied the mayor. "Not a storm shaped like a brain."

"What?" asked Scientific Sidney. "Ideas? What kind of brain storm comes up with ideas?"

"The kind where people gather and throw out ideas to solve problems," replied Mayorman.

"That's crazy!" replied Dr. Doright.

"So should we stay and help?" asked the dean of decision-making.

"I don't know," replied Professor Peaceful. "It sounds kind of hard."

"Agreed," replied Dr. Dean.

"Woof!" added Labbie.

The swirling winds of the storm picked up and more furniture and debris began crashing about the enclosed space. Suddenly a flash of lightning and everything crashed to the floor. The Faculty had left the building.

"Cats like mi.." began Dirk as the sound died down.

"Am I too late for the brainstorming session?" interrupted an entering superhero.

"Thank goodness you have come Irascible Inter..."

"Yes," interrupted the superhero. "The Irascible Interrupter is here!"

"Also people who eat brownies and cookies like mi..." Dirk attempted to say.

"Wow is this room a mess," interrupted the interrupter.

"The Faculty were here and started..." the mayor said.

"They do not know how to brainstorm."

"As I was saying," continued Dirk. "Our solution is..."

"You know what I could use? Some Milk!" interrupted the Irascible Interrupter. "That would hit the spot right now."

"Too bad Milkman is at..." the mayor started to say.

"He's at the convention center. Too bad he has switched to soy. There have been complaints down there."

"That is our sol..." began Dirk Justice.

"Shouldn't it be called soy juice? It isn't really milk."

"If we got some..." attempted Dirk again.

"Or soy-ade because it is sweetened; whereas, juice is not. But milk?"

"Hey if we could get a large amount of milk..." began the mayor.

"That could attract both the felonious feline and the convention goers!" finished the interrupter.

"Why didn't you come up with...?" the mayor asked Dirk.

"But that is..."

"Don't interupt!" shouted the Irascible Interrupter. "You and the mouse have been no help in this brainstorming session."

"How do we get the milk and where do we...?" asked the mayor.

"Too bad Milman is at..." squeaked Mouseman.

"He's at the convention center. Too bad he has switched to soy. There have been complaints down there."

"We could..." Dirk attempted to add.

"Milk would be found at the grocer's," stated the mayor calmly. "Well then, I guess that could be a job for..."

"Teleportation man! I came as quick..." exclaimed Teleportation Man as he walked into messy mayor's office.

"Would you people stop encroaching on my gig!" complained the Irascible Interrupter.

"Teleportation Man! Thank goodness you have come. We need a large amount of milk to..." exclaimed Mayorman.

"It will attracted the endangered conventioneers and the Feline Femme Fatale. We hope that will ruin her plot until the Crusading Canine can be found and capture her."

"I would love to help but..." began teleporting superhero.

"You can't?" asked the interrupter.

"If I were at the supermarket I could teleport it here, but..."

"You cannot teleport it from there to here."

"Sadly no!"

"Drats!" exclaimed the mayor.

"We could just..." Dirk attempted to add.

"We were so close," the interupter said. "Come on people think of another solution. This is a brainstorming session."

"We could just put up a sign..." squeaked the Mysterious Mouseman.

"Saying free milk!"

"In front of the..." began the mayor.

"Auditorium of Equitableness! But we could not lie! We're superheroes."

"We are back to..." stated Mayorman.

"Getting milk here. If only you could think of something Dirk? Has anyone seen where Dirk went?"

"Perhaps he has some solution for the people of..." began the mayor.

Super Supervania
Where interruption can lead to mania
A possible solution they did attain-ia
It's Super Supervania.

"Stop encroaching on my gig!" shouted the Irascible Interrupter!

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The Case of Errand Boy

Part Three

By Douglas E Gogerty

A group of superheroes gathered in the mayor's office for a brainstorming session. They came up with a solution to attract both the Feline Femme Fatale and the people attending the Brownie and Cookie Convention (BaCCon). However, there was a sticking point. How were they to get some milk to the Auditorium of Equitableness? They were thinking on this very topic when Dirk Justice slipped out.

Suddenly, the mayor's assistant, The Assistant, barges in and states, "There are reports of trouble in Farmer McGregor's catnip patch."

"That may be just the beginning of that female feline's plot," replied Mayorman. "Put up the Free Milk sign. We'll deal with the consequences..."

"If there isn't any milk," interrupted the Irascible Interrupter. "People will get mad. It is wrong to lie to people."

"We'll have milk..." asserted the mayor.

"But how? We haven't come up with a solution to that problem yet."

"Well, let's hear..."

"I have got nothing," interrupter stated interrupting the mayor.


"Yeah you've been awfully quiet. What have you got to say?"

"Perhaps Farmer McGregor has..." squeaked Mouseman.

"Cows!" interjected the interrupter. "But how do we get them here?"

"If I were there..." began Teleportation Man.

"You could transport them here -- we know."

"Where is ..." began the mayor.

"Dirk Justice? He should be here helping us brainstorm."

"He must have..." continued the mayor.

"Been called away on some other emergency. That guy is in big demand I hear."

"I was hoping..." Mayorman began to say.

"That other superheroes would show up? I was hoping the same..."

"The Daring Duplicator is ready for..."

"Do not infringe on my territory superhero! I am the Irascible Interrupter -- not you!"

"Duplicator! Thank goodness you're here..." exclaimed the mayor.

"The situation is dire," interrupted the interrupter. "We need milk and fast. Can you help?"

"Why do..." asked The Daring Duplicator.

"Never mind that!" interrupted the interrupter. "Can you help us get some milk?"

"If you had some here I could..."

"Duplicate it! Drat a dead end again!"

After much discussion, and strong and loud objections from Mouseman, the sign was constructed. The assembled superheroes discussed the best way to get the word out on their milk give-away plan. The Daring Duplicator copied some flyers. Mouseman was given the task to spread the word, but he refused.

They still did not any milk, nor did they have any ideas on how to get some milk. Mouseman was going to stand up for his principles on this issue. A few more superheroes arrived on the scene, but none had any idea on how to get a couple of gallons of milk to the Auditorium of Equitableness. The mayor and his staff were beginning to think that they would have to do something politicians just did not do -- especially superhero politicians. They were going to be forced to lie. They would have to tell anyone who showed up that they just ran out. It was going to be difficult.

Mayorman and the assembled superheroes were still loudly discussing the matter -- Mouseman was particularly loud -- when a young man in ordinary civilian clothes entered the office. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, and his face was clear to see.

"Who are you?" asked the interrupter.

"I have four gallons..." replied the mysterious stranger.

"Of milk?" asked the Irascible Interrupter. "You have just saved the day!"

"That will be $18.48."

"Here is $20..." stated the mayor getting out some money.

"Keep the change," interrupted the interrupter. "Okay people, let's get cracking."

"Who was that unmasked man...?" asked the mayor quickly as the stranger slipped away.

"We didn't even get a chance to thank him," added the interrupter.

The Assistant got to work setting up a Free Milk Stand in front of the mayor's office building. The word spread quickly thanks to Mouseman. Soon the convention attendees came for some milk. The provided soy milk at BaCCon was simply not up to the desired task. However, those lactose intolerant superheroes had not minded the convention's change of beverage. Nonetheless, with everyone else leaving they followed even though they would not partake in the provided free beverage.

Milkman and the Duplicator used their superpowers to increase the amount of milk so everyone would have their fill. As everyone stood around and enjoyed their cold beverages, (except the lactose intolerant superheroes who tagged along) Dirk Justice appeared asking what had happened. The mayor told the story of an unmasked man arriving just in time with 4 gallons of milk. The man had used no superpowers whatsoever to accomplish the task. Also, the individual left before anyone could thank him or ask who he was.

Further, the Feline Femme Fatale also could not resist a glass of free milk. Hence she delayed her plans. This allowed Mayorman to get the Crusading Canine to take care of this evil ninja cyborg nemesis.

Soon, the story of Errand Boy spread throughout the city. The tale of some unmasked person doing good deeds and saving the day, and fighting for peace, justice and the American way was being told in barbershops and grocery stores citywide. This stranger came and all he asked for was money for the item. However, this person was doing these deeds without the use of any superpower. How could this happen? How could an individual live in Supervania without superpowers? Who was this unmasked stranger? Dirk Justice was not about to tell. That is the way it is in...

Super Supervania
Perhaps hidden identities can remain-ia
And the kids shout 'Come back Shane'-ia
It's Super Supervania.

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  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks for the kind words Kerry. I too am very read more
  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks Christian! I too had a DOS computer. read more
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  • Kerry Glasscock: Good story. I love that Dwayne. nice work! read more
  • Douglas Gogerty: Thanks Susanne. You are correct, the OS of computers has read more
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