Crossing the border
Homeland Security Guy: "What were you doing in Canada?"
Me: "Attending a scientific meeting."
HSG: "What do you do for a living?"
Me: "I'm an evolutionary biologist." (Usually, I just say "professor", but I had evolution on the brain.)
HSG: "Did humans evolve from primates?"
Me: "We're still primates... but [realizing I could miss my plane if he decided to hassle me] I work on bacteria."
He let me through.