Dislocate

But I won't. Instead, I will tell you that I went to a bar/restaurant called "The King and I" where I met and interviewed Ryan, American Studies PhD student.

What have you been reading?
Lately, my favorite thing I've been reading is Joan Didion's Miami. It's about the dilemma of Latin America-US relationship in the '80s. It's good; it's been making me really happy.

Do books generally affect your state of mind?
Yes! How could they not?

Since you have really strong feelings about books, how do you feel about the book choices made by the people in your life? Have you ever dated anyone you thought had terrible taste in books?
No, I don't think so. The biggest thing I don't understand is when someone reads a lot of science fiction mysteries. My brain just doesn't work in that way. A lot of people have told me they are in a mystery book club (1) and I'm like, what is this all about? The biggest thing is that most people don't read so it's kind of a bust. So generally, you assume people don't read anymore.

Would you rather date someone who doesn't read or someone who reads crap? (2)
I think the only thing that would really bum me out is that my dissertation and life has been about labor and unions and I think it would be really weird if people I went out with read management literature--like, how can I run my company more efficiently.

Like self-help?
Well, certain self-help. I think if you're having a hard time at a certain point you need to deal with your own issues, so I'm not saying self-help is bad. But corporate self-help, like, "how can I improve the lives of my employees when I'm paying them nothing" is kind of odious to me. I think that would be distressing... they would have to be incredibly hot to continue involvement.

Hot helps! (3)
Totally. (Friend: Like a huge bubble butt!) They'd have to have the bubble butt of all time!

Bubble butt? So that's a generally attractive feature? (4)
For me... no. That was really Lucas (refers to friend). It certainly wouldn't outweigh management literature. But it might out-mountainous it. Like if I'm grabbing it from a certain angle. Like, if I'm making out with him and I'm grabbing it in a certain way. But it would have to be really amazing to outweigh management literature.

Well, on the other hand, have you ever been with someone whose literary tastes made you think he was amazing?
Um... Now I'm trying to think about why I find people amazing.

OK, just tell me why you find people amazing, that's good. Not bubble butts, so...?
Um... (Friend: Pectoral muscles?) I feel like I'm the worst person to ask this because I don't have a type. I have had intimacy with very pretty, very femme guys that I had to figure out an inner butchness with that I did not think I had, but I found, and that was amazing.

Tell me about your inner butch self. What does your inner butch read?
It was like finding an emotion. It's like on the airplane when you put on the life vest and jump into the water. I pulled on the cord and it inflated, and I went into the water. That's basically what it was. You have to take control. It's like, whoosh, the life vest inflates and it all works out. (5)

Life vest? Is that a euphemism?
No! It was a metaphor!

No, I believe the life vest inflating is a euphemism.
That's a very shallow reading of my narrative.

I can't help it. (6)

Notes:
(1) What?

(2) I think I would rather date someone who doesn't read. As long as they know how to read. Does that make me a bad person?

(3) Is it just me or are my interviews constantly reaffirming this belief?

(4) My friend used to work for a company that made underwear with butt pads in them, to create the illusion of a fuller, rounder butt. I asked her if she would get me one and she said she would but she never did. What's up with that?

(5) This interview may have been conducted with the assistance of alcohol.

(6) No, really, I can't help it.