Analysis: Driver hits and runs in St. Paul; 2 highway workers among 4 hurt

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In this story from the Star Tribune, the reporter has an excellent lead that summarizes everything that is important (hit and run, how many injured, what the driver did) and interesting (loaded pistol in the car, two injured passengers). The lead also does not give too much away so the reader is inclined to continue reading.

The information of the story, in my eyes, is ordered in a logical manner. First, the summarizing lead. Second, a paragraph explaining exactly when and where the accident took place. Third, a paragraph about how the crash happened, which is followed by an attribution about motorist safety/awareness in construction zones from the state Transportation Commissioner. Finally, a quick paragraph revealing that the driver fled the scene and that there was a loaded pistol in the car.

This ordering of information is effective because it keeps giving the reader more and more detailed information that unravels the incident at hand. Also, including that the driver fled and that there was a loaded pistol in the car was a good kicker to send the reader off. This structure is known as the "Martini Glass."

I guess the information could be ordered in a different way, but that would change the structure style. If I were required to change up the structure, I would put the last paragraph about the driver fleeing the scene right after the paragraph that explains how the crash happened. This would change the structure style to more of a "Inverted Pyramid."

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This page contains a single entry by Weston D published on September 29, 2011 1:37 PM.

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