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North Korea's Reaction

This message is for all UN delegates, and, more importantly, the United States of America.

It has been made all to clear to the Democratic Republic of North Korea by the UN backed blockade of our ports, the polarizing of surrounding nations support by the United States and their economic blackmail, and the downright silly stance taken by US represenative Austin that we have been left no choice but to defend the very lives of our citizens by whatever means neccessary.

Let this statement be made clear to all the world, I repeat, all the world: The Democratic Republic of North Korea WILL NOT take any offensive measures to remove the downright uncivilized and irresponsible blockade on our ports. We WILL NOT take the measures neccessary to remove the blockade that is starving our children and needlessly destroying our economy. We WILL NOT act on any so immaturely stated "uncivilized hostility" that the US Secretary of State seems certain is built up within our small country. We have no wish for conflict of any kind. However, it is certain that not only the United States, but China and Russia all wish to partake in the imperialistic merry-go-round; why else would they station hundreds of thousands of troops on our borders?

I repeat, to Secretary of State Dille, Senator Austin, and Administrator Siegel: The Democratic Republic of North Korea does not wish to partake in any offensive maneuvers. If you answer any question of mine, answer this one:

Where are your threats grounded? Where?

If they are in your silly nuclear arms "threat", why haven't you invaded, disarmed and abandoned Pakistan, who is fueling the insurgency in Afghanistan. Or China, who refuses to make so called "reform"? Why does Russia, who quietly released to the world that they are "pretty sure" they have "all" their nuclear arms trusted with such power?

When did Korea ever threaten the United States with nuclear arms or otherwise? When did we plan to invade the United States Senator Austin? When did we look to increase the size of our country by military means anytime in the last half century Mr. Dille?

Yet whose battleships and aircraft carriers are sitting not but miles off our shores?

To the American people I have but one plea: Realize what situation your leaders have put you in. Your military is already stretched too thin in Iraq, even though the bulk of your entire might is there, over 250,000 troops. Ever since President Clinton gutted the CIA, you have been unable to safely assert the size or combat effectiveness of other nation-state's military. You are on the very eve of an absolute and catistrophic mistake, for even with Russian and NATO armies added to the puny 35,000 man American force occupying the DMZ, you do not come within sight of 1/4 the size of our military force.

Finally, to the President of the United States:

You have lost all faith in a diplomatic solution to the "situation" that you have so delicately constructed as a means to further the American Empire. We will await your offer to remove the blockade and allow us to carry ourselves as a proper nation.

We WILL NOT carry our any offesive maneuvers in the meantime. Rest assured this will not stay the case if the United States and its partner in crime, the UN, do not remove the blockade and put affiliated military forces on stand down. The clock is ticking.

Kim Jong-Il


To answer your questions:

1) Pakistan is our ally. You are not.
2) China is our ally. You are not.
3) Russia is our ally. You are not.

Is there anything else I can do for you? Perhaps some Ritz crackers?

UN Chief Administrator Siegel